AN: Okay!!! I know I haven't updated for awhile, but I will try to stop taking so long..
This will be in EPOV. I feel like I need to do something different.
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to own these characters, they are the works of Stephenie Meyer, except Alexander, he's mine.
Chapter Ten: Falling
EPOV
I have never felt so consumed by anyone in my 100 some years of walking this Earth. She captured me like no other could. It wasn't just her enthralling blood anymore. I could see her as a person. I could see her inner and outer beauty. Her mind was closed off to me. I was partially grateful. Although she had the mind that I wanted, no needed, to know more than anyone's, it was kind of exciting to not know what she was thinking, anticipating her next move.
Besides being interesting, I found her beautiful.These vulgar excuses for human boys thought differently. All they saw was her beauty. Many called her "hot." I would admit she had a good looking figure, which I caught myself staring at from time to time, but she was so much more than that. They didn't see the depth in her eyes, her natural color and face, her perfect skin. I would give anything to just stroke her skin all day long.
I could just imagine touching her skin, very softly. I couldn't stop the other images from going through my brain. Bella wrapped in my arms, much like she was when we waltzed, me staring into her eyes, trying to find answers. Stroking her face, being as careful as stroking a soap bubble. Her skin felt like silk and cashmere under my fingertips. Soft, but smooth. I could imagine her looking up into my eyes, pleading silently for me to kiss her. What I wouldn't give..
And then she would die, because I couldn't control myself.
I was pulled out of my reverie by Emmett who came down the stairs laughing his booming laugh.
"Hi, Edward!" he boomed.
"Hello, Emmett." I rolled my eyes.
"What was with you? You looked like you were in your own world," he asked, curious.
"I was just being pensive," I said in a monotonous voice, trying to get him to leave me alone.
"Are you thinking about the girl?" Emmett asked, smiling. I looked down.
"Ohhhhh, you were, weren't you? Ooooooooohhhh, Edward's got a crush!" he boomed again.
"It's simply an infatuation, not a crush." I said defensively.
"Edward, it's the same thing." He smiled wider, showing his teeth.
If I had the ability to blush, I would put Bella's blush to shame. My family had no real reason to tease me before, because I wouldn't show any feeling, letting them know I didn't care. Until now, they quit teasing me. The main topic in my family today was my obsession with Bella. They would tease me for following her around all the time, whether it be through peoples' minds or in person. I followed her at first so I could think of ways and pretend that I was killing her. It relieved some of the tension, but only made me feel like I horrific monster all the same. I look back on that, and shook my head in disgust.
True, I had always been the darker one of the family. Isolating myself all the time, being the only single one. I had always rejected everyone's pity for me, especially Esme's. I truly was content with being alone. There were times where I would wish I had someone to confide in, and the feelings would overpower me. Was it envy? Desire? Only Jasper knew this, and he hasn't told anyone, for which I was grateful.
Even Tanya, who's advances were not welcome, I had shown no interest in. She was a seductress in every way, however, I never felt anything more than a friendship towards her. She, regretfully, was not intent on losing. She would try and try again. My feelings never changed. Unfortunately, neither did her's.
Tanya wasn't the only one. Many other women tried to capture me like Bella could. Many tried, but all had failed.
Bella made me curious. I needed to know every single thing about her. So, I asked her questions about herself. She seemed to be more into the books and dancing over anything else. She had an odd taste in music for a teenager. Classical was a large part, as well as softer and alternative rock. She liked more old-fashioned books, with a slight hint of modern. It was a good thing she was somewhat of a teenager.
Then there was Alexander, her dance partner, well, ex-dance partner. Although he was dead, he made me so jealous, possibly more than Mike Newton. When they first came here, I knew that he loved her, even if I couldn't read his thoughts. The look in his eyes were obvious, even if he thought he was hiding it. Oh, it was there. He was so good for Bella, too. Human, warm, exactly what she needed. She didn't deserve someone like me. She was too good for that. However, that never stopped me from spying on her.
Every night she would mumble my name in her sleep, as well as Alexander's. I could understand that. She lost her best friend, and would probably dream about him for some time. I asked Carlisle about this. My thoughts drifted to the time where I had that conversation with him..
I started pacing outside Carlisle's office impatiently. He knew I was there, but he knew I was still kept by my thoughts. So, he gave me time to figure things out before I spoke with him.
You may come in, Edward, if you wish, he thought.
I walked into his office to see my father of some sort standing next to his desk, ready to greet me like a gentleman. I was grateful for Carlisle. He was always so understanding, always so patient. I, however, was completely anxious.
"You wished to speak with me, Edward?" Carlisle looked at me with open eyes.
"Yes," I started, "it's about Bella."
He stayed quiet, knowing I wasn't near finished.
"See, you know she just lost her best friend, Alexander? Well, every time I go watch her, she mumbles a mixture of his name and mine. Is dreaming about him just an effect of his death, or would it mean she has feelings for him? Also, what does it mean that she is mumbling my name? Do you think she is having nightmares? Or, do you think that she has actual feelings for me?" I finished finally.
Carlisle smiled. "It seems you have been doing some thinking, haven't you, Edward?" His grin grew wider.
"I haven't been able to stop. Ever single thing she does gets to me." I smiled sheepishly.
Wow, I never knew that someone could bring out such feelings in Edward, Carlisle thought. He tried to hide them, but it was too late. I already heard them.
"Can we please talk about the issue at hand." I muttered impatiently.
Carlisle chuckled at my impatience. "Well, Edward, the loss of a close one at her age is very tragic. It would be reasonable for her to dream about him for some time. As for you, she could be dreaming about you for that fact that she may like you. Did she sound frightened when she said your name?"
"No," I told him.
"Then it seems she is not having a nightmare. If she is dreaming about you every night, then there must be some feelings there in her towards you," he uttered to me in an amused voice. He never thought I would find love, after all this time. Now that I had found it, he found it very.. cute.
I smiled at his words, though. They reassured me immensely. I felt like a human, always searching for reassurance. I chuckled inwardly at the thought.
"Thank you, Carlisle. That made me feel better." My shoulders relaxed at the fresh relief.
"Anytime, Edward."
Carlisle's voice faded as my thoughts came back to the present. So now I knew that her dreams of Alexander were most likely due to his death. Her dreams of me, could be to her affection towards me. I shuddered.
I looked at the clock. It read 7:00. I needed to go pick up Bella. I had a whole new round of questions for her.
I hopped into my car and sped quickly to her house. I pulled into the spot where her dad usually parked. I got out of my car and waited for her to grace me with her presence.
I listened to the inside of the house, to hear her in the kitchen, clanking things around. She kind of seemed to be in a hurry. Was it a hurry to see me? The thought had me smiling.
She ran out the door, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Her appearance stunned me. She was wearing a soft pink tank top with a grey zip-up hoodie. Her white pants fit her perfectly. And her top was short enough so that the bottom of her stomach peeked out, leaving her hip bones exposed. The sight distracted me incredibly. Enough that I didn't see her walk right in front of me.
"Um, Edward?" she asked, confused.
I snapped back to look at her face. "Yes?"
"Are you ready to go?" She giggled while she asked.
I smiled nonchalantly. "Certainly."
I went over and opened the passenger door for her. She thanked me and got into the car. I ran over to the driver's side and sat down and started the engine.
That day I wanted to ask her about people in her life, except Alexander. I didn't want her to hate me.
"Bella? What is your mother like?" I asked her gently.
She smiled widely. It seemed like the subject of her mother appealed to her. I smiled back.
"Well, she is extremely eccentric. She can be unpredictable, and she is very child-like. She looks a lot like me, but I think she is prettier than me, and wiser. She is my best friend." She laughed as the words flowed freely from her mouth. I felt the urge to purr, but I fought it.
"But Alexander will always, always be closer to me than anyone." Her mood suddenly turned sour. I felt torn between the urge to comfort her into a better mood, and the urge to growl in jealousy. I didn't like that she thought about him.
What I found absurd was the fact that she thought her mother to be more beautiful than her. Didn't she see what I saw in her? I guess I already knew my answer from the selflessness in her tone. She was always so selfless. My opposite. She would be so good for me if we formed some kind of relationship. Well, I supposed we were already in some sort of realationship. We were friends, I guessed.
"Did you have many friends down in Phoenix?" I went on.
"Not much. Alexander and my mother were my close friends. Alexander was the only one there that was actually fun to be with. I still can't believe he is gone." I could see tears forming in her eyes. I felt the need to cry right along with her. I couldn't believe that she could bring out such reactions from me.
I tried to change the subject to something more cheery.
"Have you ever had a significant other?" I asked her shyly. Part of me didn't want to know, for if she was more experienced with guys, I would feel a little awkward, having dated no one. The other part of me was eager, to see if she had a past. If she didn't, I would feel so grateful.
"No. I have never been interested in dating. Never." She said with relief, like she was happy as to never having one.
"You have never met someone you wanted? Ever?" I asked her incredulously. Did no one appeal to her?
"Not in Phoenix." She blushed. My throat burnt, but I rejoiced. There was hope that she might have feelings for me. I smiled widely.
If there was ever a chance of me and her dating, I would be the happiest person, well, being, on the face of the planet. I would squeeze her forever if she had no other needs, and if I couldn't crush her fragile body. I would hold her and thank her for the love she had planted in me. I would thank her for all the euphoria she gave me. I would never stop thanking her.
We continued talking throughout the day on other people in her life. Family, friends, teachers, people she hated and people she thought were weird. She laughed occasionally, the sound vibrating off of her and the air around us, sinking into the conversation, letting us be at ease. Sporadically, I would join her in her laughter.
After we got back into the car after the day of being together, she smiled at me. I looked over at her, dumbfounded.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her.
"Nothing, it's just.." she trailed off.
"Yes?" I questioned with impatience.
"It's just that, I had a really good day with you. That's all." She looked away, blushing hotly. Her blush made me feel hot. I never felt it before. Maybe it was a result of my affection.
We drove the rest of the way in silence. I would often look over at her. Admiring her beautiful complexion. She was so incredibly beautiful. I wanted to reach over and touch her soft face. Just one touch.
I pulled into the driveway to her house slowly. I was sad to let her go, but I knew I would be back later that night to watch her. She made no move to leave. So, she didn't want our time to be done either. My stomach flipped in happiness.
"Well, I guess I will see you later, Edward." She smiled at me.
I said nothing as I got out of the car to open her door for her. When she got out, she surprised me by hugging me around the waist. I responded without hesitation. She was so warm. I could feel the heat gathering from her and spreading through me. I wanted to hold her there forever. I wanted to do more. I wanted to take her to my car and hold her all night. I wanted to hold her while she slept. So many things went through my brain at that moment. I knew if I did hold her there, she would freeze. So reluctantly, I let her go.
She beamed up at me.
I responded by gleaming down at her.
"Goodnight, Edward." She said while releasing me and walked into her house.
"I love you, Bella." I muttered in a voice to low for her to hear.
I got in my car. Before starting my car, I thought about what just happened.
The heat from her was starting to fade, but I still felt it. She was so warm and fragrant. It burned my throat but it was bearable. I felt so strange. I had never had a human hug me. I loved the fact that the first person to do it was Bella.
I started my car and drove home.
I turrned off the car and walked inside to face my family. Most of the thoughts were content, besides Rosalie's. Her thoughts were furious.
How could you Edward!? A HUMAN? Can you be serious? You are such an idiot. If you expose us, I swear to God, Edward.. her thoughts trailed off into more threats I knew she wouldn't carry out. I knew Rosalie. Everything was about her. I laughed inwardly.
Hey Edward! Alice's thought rejoiced. She knew what happened with Bella and I today, and she couldn't be happier. She always said she loved Bella too, but it was nowhere near how much I loved her. Nothing could compare to how much I loved her.
HEY LITTLE BRO!! Emmett literally screeched in her mind. He was such a happy person, for which I was grateful. He always made the mood lighter around. No one had a brother like I did.
I said hello to the appropriate people in the room, and then rushed up to my room. I went to find something to do for the next few hours until I could go back to Bella's. I decided to play write some music. I had an idea for a song in my head earlier, and I wanted to record the gorgeous music onto paper. I wanted to see what it sounded like in real life.
I got through the whole song without stopping, except for the bridge. I experimented with a few different notes, but nothing seemed right. Right on time, Alice came in and sat down next to me in the middle of the floor where I lay.
"I only saw that I was." She smiled at me. Just then, she started humming a sound that would work perfectly for the bridge of this song.
"Alice! That is perfect!" I hugged my favorite sister while I wrote down the notes.
"You're very welcome. It sounds so much like her." Alice stood up and walked out of the room.
I looked down and read the notes. I still wanted to play them, to see what they sounded like. I ran down to my piano and sat down, staring at the ivory keys. Feeling a little guilty for not playing in so long, I started to play the music.
It sounded better than it did in my head.
Alice was right, it DID sound like her.
A new song? It's been so long. Such a lovely sound. Esme's thoughts came sparkling from above. She was so happy that I found love for the first time.
She raced down and stood behind me and watched me play. She sighed in a relaxed state. She put her hands on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. I felt like such a child when she did that, but I didn't acknowledge it. I was preoccupied.
Alice came in at that time and sat next to me. She smiled up at me, just as grateful as to me finding love. She was just excited to have a new friend to play with, I told myself.
I finished and looked down, my hands in my lap.
"It will be okay, Edward." Esme's voice made me feel a little bit better.
"Thank you." I mumbled.
"She will have to love you back. Any girl would be blind as to not see the catch you are." She giggled in her mind as she said this.
I chuckled at the thought. I was sort of grateful for my inhuman beauty. I would use anything I could to get Bella to love me back, even if she didn't deserve someone like me.
"Thanks, again, Mom." I told her. I knew she loved it when I called her Mom.
"You're welcome, Edward." She smiled and kissed my head again.
It was getting dark by the time that I was finished playing the piano. It was time to go over Bella's and watch over her. Not spying, I told myself to make it seem like what I was doing was not bad.
I hung in her tree and watched her through her window, waiting for her to go to sleep. She seemed to be working on some homework. I continued to watch her through the window.
I watched for about three hours, and finally, she fell asleep.
I climbed into her window and sat down in the rocking chair across the room, looking at her sleeping form.
I knew what I was doing was wrong. How could something so wrong bring me so much happiness? I have never felt so happy in all of my life. I should be making myself miserable. I should be eradicating myself from her life. I should be..
"Edward." Her voice lifted me from my misery. I felt really hot again.
I pushed my worries aside, and let myself be happy.
AN: Finally! Three-four weeks is entirely too long of a time to not update! Tell me how I did on Edward. I don't like it so much. I think I do Bella better. REVIEW!!! :D