Katniss POV

I enter a nightmare from which I wake repeatedly, only to find a greater terror awaiting me. All the things I dread most, all the things I dread for others manifest in such vivid detail I can't help but believe they're real. How many ways do I watch Prim die, relive that night? Relive my father's last moments? Feel my own body ripped apart, and watch Peeta suffer because of me? This is the nature of the tracker jacker venom, so carefully created to target the place where fear lives in your brain.

When I finally do come to my senses, I lie still, waiting for the next onslaught of imagery. But eventually I accept that the poison must have finally worked its way out of my system, leaving my body wracked and feeble. So many parts of me hurt; very slowly I manage to sit up. I'm in a shallow hole, and I wonder how long I've been out. I know it was morning when I lost reason, but now its afternoon and the stiffness in my body suggests more than a day has passed, even two possibly. If so, I have no way of knowing which tributes survived the tracker jacker attack. I know definitely not the blonde girl Glimmer from District 1, Peeta pushed me away too fast and I was already losing reasoning to know if anyone else died as a direct cause of my tracker jacker attack. I do remember that the girl from District 4, the boy from 1, and both from 2 were also the tributes who had me treed. I'm certain Rue took off quickly after she gave me the idea for the plan to drop the nest on the Careers, she's cleaver, she wouldn't have stayed.

I have no way of knowing what happened, so I focus on the gift that Peeta has given me, the bow and arrows. There are a full dozen, including the arrows I collected from the tree after the Careers shot them at me and missed. I practice with them for a bit and decide to again find water, I'm dangerously low, I can hunt along the way. As I'm walking I realize that the tracker jacker stings have healed better than I expected. I had enough sense to pull the stingers out just after I was stung, hopefully Peeta remembered this bit of information that I taught to him and his brothers. I remember once when I took them into the woods of District 12 showing them were I knew there to be nests and advising them to stay away, but telling them to remove the stingers as soon as possible after being stung, hopefully avoiding allowing too much poison into your system. However, in this case I think I was stung too many times for that rule to apply to me, I can only hope the one sting I saw on Peeta was all that he received, but somehow I doubt it, surely if he had his senses about him he would have tracked me down by now, hopefully the poison in his system works its way out today as well. I decide to follow my earlier rule of staying in one spot near water, surely Peeta will know this is where I will go, and it'll be the fastest way for him to find me. I spot a rabbit and make my first kill with the bow and arrow, and after walking for an hour I find a stream, the sun's hot and severe, so I strip down to my underclothes intending to wade into the mild current, but as I'm undressing I notice a dark spot on my pants. Hide myself as best I can from the cameras in a cluster of bushes, and sure enough, there in my underwear is evidence of dried blood, it has also seem to have run down my legs. It seems to have stopped now, but I specifically remember the prep team the first day I arrived in the Capital giving me a shot, and when I asked what it was for they said that it was to prevent my monthly cycle from happening during the games. They laughed about how there wouldn't be any feminine products to help me in the arena, so I didn't really think much about it when I missed my cycle that week. I'm fairly regular, and was due the week we were in the Capital, I know I'm no virgin anymore, but they also mentioned that women in the Capital use it so they don't get pregnant, so I know I'm safe there. I decide to not think about it too much, maybe it does prevent a monthly cycle, but my body has been through so much and I've been so stressed, surely this is the cause. I wash my body and clothing in the stream. I untangle and braid my hair, treat my burns, my appetite has returned, but surely Peeta will find me by nightfall, or even tomorrow morning, so I decide to wait for him. I can't eat knowing Peeta is out there somewhere, or possibly that the worst has happened to him but I just don't know it yet, but I refuse to believe that, knowing at this point there is no way to tell is going to drive me crazy if I think about it too much.

I take out a small bird that looks like some form of wild turkey just to keep the frustration from building within me, and by late afternoon I decide to cook the meat from the bird and rabbit so that Peeta and I can eat when he does find me. I've just put the first lot over the coals when I hear the twig snap. In one motion I turn to the sound, bringing the bow and arrow to my shoulder, if it was Peeta he would have called out to me. There's no one there, but I spot the tip of a child's boot just peeking out from behind the trunk of a tree. My shoulders relax and I grin, realizing that Rue can move through the woods like a shadow. Surely she's been following me like she was in the training centre; the words come out before I can stop them. "You know, they're not the only ones who can form alliances."

One of Rue's eyes edges around the trunk. "You want me for an ally, too?"

I shake my head a little confused, "Why not? You saved me with those tracker jackers. You're smart enough to still be alive. And I can't seem to shake you anyway," She blinks at me trying to decide. "You hungry?" I can see her swallow hard, her eye flickering to the meat. "Come on then, I've had two kills today."

Rue tentatively steps out into the open. "How are your stings? I've been tending to them while you've been asleep." She says. I'm surprised at this, but that explains how they are more healed than I expected. "I have more leave to apply to your stings if you need them."

"They're better than I thought they would be, but if you've been treating them I could probably use it, they are still a little sore." She comes over with a handful of leaves, puts them in her mouth, and places a glob of leaves and spit on the stings on my knee, neck, and cheek. I sigh with the relief they bring, and offer to treat the burn she has on her forearm with my Capital medicine.

"You have good sponsors," She says longingly.

"Have you gotten anything yet?" I ask, she shakes her head.

"No, but Peeta got a smaller tube than you have of this same medicine and he shared his with me, too." Rue says. This surprises me, not his kindness, but that she seems to have had contact with Peeta.

"You've seen Peeta? Since I was stung by the tracker jackers?" I ask excitedly.

"No, the night you were treed by the Careers." She says, looking sadly down at her boots. It makes my heart pound in fear.

"No," I whisper, dread fills my heart, "he survived right?" I say in a voice that's rising to hysteria at the sadness on her face.

"No, no….well, I mean yes he did survive. But I just mean that I haven't seen him since the tracker jacker attack. That night you were treed I followed the sound of your voice and he did too. He saw me in the trees and he waved me down. He had just gotten his burn medicine, he was burned almost identically to mine and he told me that he knew that you would just love to have me as an ally. When I saw the tracker jacker nest I told him that if I could get to you to see it too you could probably drop it on the Careers and run away. He stayed with me that night, I showed him a tree that he could easily climb and still have a view of the Careers and you. He told me a lot about you that night. He said to approach you carefully because you do want to be my friend but it may be hard for you to accept me at first." I know she doesn't understand this because she shakes her head and rolls her eyes as if he was being too cautious, but I know he was thinking of the night we watched the reaping and I had a break down at the sight of Rue. "He also told me that he planned to fight and that I should follow you rather than wait around for him, the last I saw of him he grabbed the knife that you had in your hand after he shoved the bow and arrows at you. You've been unconscious for two days, but he's still alive, although I don't know what happened to him. The girls from Districts 1 and 4 and the big Career Cato from District 2 were killed that day." She explains in a rush. "I've been back to the tree where everything happened, and I've looked for him, but he's gone, I don't know where he is." She finishes.

I take in all this information, certain that Peeta killed Cato; I know he didn't get stung as badly as Glimmer, and if his plan was to stay and fight certainly that seems to have happened. Cato was a trained killer, but Peeta and I have been playing star crossed lovers just so that our opponents wouldn't expect us to be as good as we are at surviving. I've seen Peeta wrestle and fight, Cato was probably caught off guard at his abilities combined with his strength. Tributes from District 12 are supposed to be weak, not well fed and strong like my Peeta is. I'm relieved that he is still alive, and decide that my plan to stay in one place won't work anymore, but now I have Rue to take care of, this was obviously part of some plan that Peeta put together to keep me safe, he knows I won't put her in danger, or do anything to irrational while she is with me. He knows me well. Rue contributes a starchy root to the meal, and we talk, she identifies the bird and that it's safe to eat. I give her some meat to eat, but I'm surprised when she just looks at it sadly and doesn't dig in right away. She seems to be looking to me, waiting. "Aren't you hungry?" I ask.

"He told me to be sure that you at least have a few bites from your share of food before I do." She says, and indicates to the food that I have packed away, I obviously was not intending to eat tonight. I sigh in frustration, he knows me well, and I'm amazed he's found a way to blackmail me into eating even when he's not here. I get out my share of food and start to eat, after a few bites Rue happily digs into her own meal and we eat until our bellies are full, I'm not able to stop once I start, it's been days since I've eaten anything. I'm especially hungry tonight it seems, I even split Peeta's half between me and Rue just so I can have more, rationalizing that he would be happiest to see that I've eaten more than he expected if even finds us tonight, and that I can always get more now that I have the bow and arrows. While Rue and I eat and talk I put together a plan for destroying all the supplies that Rue has seen the Careers have hoarded for themselves.

We put the plan into action the next day, waking to the boom of a cannon, we plan a route to meet up at later that evening. As we walk Rue shows me the four note song that the mockingjays pick up easily, she tells me there are mockingjays where she is from and that is why she loves my pin and when I try to give it to her refuses saying that the pin is what made her decide to trust Peeta and I here in the arena.

We part, and after about an hour I'm back at the clearing that holds the Cornucopia, the boy from District 1, the girl from 2, and the boy from District 3 are all present, but they all leave towards the smoke that is bellowing from the woods where Rue started the fire that we planned. I try to analyze the setup and am about to get a closer look when Foxface comes from my right, steps carefully and gets some supplies, and I realize she knew it was rigged to explode. I see the burlap sack of apples and know it's my only chance at starting a chain reaction, setting off all of the mines and blowing the supplies to smithereens. When I set it off the way I wanted, I'm blown back into the air and get the wind knocked out of me at the impact with the hard-packed earth, my backpack not softening my landing at all. I'm so dizzy it's all I can do when I drag myself to the copse that Rue told me she spied on the Careers from. My ear is bleeding and my body is hurt so badly, but of everything I find it odd that I should be having severe cramps in my abdomen and lower back right now. I'm trying to ignore that and focus on my real danger, my ear is bleeding and I'm worried I may be permentantly deafened in my ear. When the Careers return to find that the boy from District 3 did too good of a job rigging up the ground to explode the girl from District 2 loses her mind and puts one of her knives in the boy repeatedly, I suppose a cannon sounded his death, but she keeps doing it until the boy from District 1 pulls her off of him and they walk into the woods to allow the hovercraft to collect the body.

I spend the night there; they show the deaths of the boy from 3 and the boy from 10 that night. I spend the night shivering from cold, crouched in a fetal position trying to get some relief from the cramps in my abdomen and my lower back, though I can feel I'm not bleeding. It's a weird sensation that I'm experiencing. In the morning the dizziness and cramps have stopped, my left ear still deafened, but there is a ringing in my right. I head to the place where Rue and I were supposed to meet, I clean up a bit in a stream, catch and eat two fish, when I make it back to the meeting sight there is no sign of Rue. I wait for her until late afternoon and decide to head back to the spot where she was supposed to set the last fire, I can check to see if it was set at all and see if she left any clue to her whereabouts. When I do reach it after about an hour I know something has gone amiss. The fire was never lit, I continue to hike, looking for her and along the way I recognize her four-note tune coming from a mockingjay. I sing back softly, and it's followed with a child's scream that I know is only capable of Rue. I run frantically, following the sound and I hear her calling my name. I don't care about Careers, I know she's in danger and I need to find her before they do.

"Rue! I'm coming!" I shout so she knows that I'm near. Just as I reach her and see her in the net she reaches out for me and I see the spear enter her body. The boy from District 1 dies before he can pull out the spear. My arrow drives deeply into the centre of his neck. He falls to his knees and halves the brief remainder of his life by yanking out the arrow and drowning in his own blood. I kneel next to her.

"You blew up the food?" she whispers.

"Every last bit," I say.

"You have to win," She says.

"I'm going to; I'm going to win for both of us now." I say to the little girl to reassure her, she doesn't need to know it's always been my intention to save Peeta and that it still is, if I can ever find him.

"Sing," She says, but I barely catch the word. I sing the only song I can think of, a song I haven't sung since the day I held my dead little sister in my arms. I sing Deep in the Meadow as she dies in my arms, flashbacks of that night threaten to take hold of me but I fight them, I cannot deny this little girl her last request. When she dies I decorate her body in wildflowers, wishing I had the sense to do this for my own sister. In this moment, through my tears, I recognize that I never had closure like I should have allowed myself that night when my sister died. This is my way of saying goodbye to Rue and Prim, both taken far too young, both murdered at the hands of a government who has manipulated those of us not born in the Capital. Prim murdered by poverty, Rue in the Games.

When I clear out and let the hovercraft take her body I wander aimlessly for hours, losing hope. I come to the realization that Peeta may be alive, but he had to have been hurt badly in the fight for him to not have found me by now. He could be dying somewhere, without me to save him, but I've lost my will to go on without him. The cramps come again, this time so sharp it knocks me to my knees, then I feel it. Blood, it's soaking through my pants, I make my way to a stream, although I can't help but leave a trail of blood behind me, it would be so easy to track me right now. When I get to the stream I remove my clothing, turning the water red all around me. This isn't a monthly period, it's been too inconsistent and the pain too great for that. I've ignored the signs, but this whole time I've been pregnant. I can't be more than three weeks along at this point, but I'm sure that doesn't matter anyway. I'm sure after this I definitely won't be pregnant anymore. Peeta had been saying that he was leaving me with a reason to live after he died in the Games, now I think his intention was to leave me with his child, that I would have lived to raise our child. The only chance we would have had to conceive was the first time on the train, before we got to the Capital and they gave me the prevention. I'm sure it was a miracle that the baby could still be conceived even after that, but combined with the tracker jacker poison, the stress on my body; there really wasn't a chance this baby was going to make it through the Games in spite of Peeta's intentions. I cry out in sadness so loudly that it echoes through the forest. I don't care anymore, I've lost a part of Peeta that I didn't even know I was carrying.

When the water starts to run clear again I redress, wet clothing and all, and drag myself to the edge of the water and lay on the ground, determined to die. Either I will lay here and allow myself to starve to death, or let another tribute find me, I don't really care, I just want to die. This doesn't seem to be in the cards for me as a parachute lands almost on my face, as if Haymitch sensed that I wouldn't move to collect it unless it was right next to me. I reach out and open it to see a loaf of bread that I recognize as coming from District 11. "My thanks to the people of District Eleven," I say, wanting them to know I know where it came from, but I don't eat it. I hold it in my hands, but I just remain laying on my back staring up at the sky, watching the darkness come, watch the anthem play and show Rue's face and the boy from District 1. A while after the initial anthem Claudius Templesmith's voice booms down from overhead, congratulating the five of us who remain. But he is not inviting us to a feast. He's saying something very confusing. There's been a rule change in the Games. A rule change! That in itself is mind bending since we don't really have any rules to speak of except don't step off your circle for sixty seconds and the unspoken rule about not eating one another. Under the new rule, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive. Claudius pauses, and as if he knows we're not getting it, and repeats the change again. The news sinks in. Two tributes can win this year. If they are from the same district. Both can live. Both of us can live. This rule was changed specifically for us, we are the last two from the same district.

Before I can stop myself I call out Peeta's name as loud as my lungs and voice box will allow, it echoes through the woods. I clap my hands over my mouth, realizing how stupid this was, but I'm rewarded when I faintly hear my name in the distance. It's Peeta, I know it is. I call out again as loudly as I can as I stand, but when I do a sharp pain rips through my lower abdomen. I can hardly stand up straight, my name is repeated back to me, and I call out for Peeta again, he's getting closer. I use a nearby tree to lean against, the pain is fading, I just need some time to catch my breath. I knife lodges itself right next to my hand in the tree, it looks like I won't get that time to catch my breath, I'm fighting for my life again. I know the girl from District 2 has found me; I make it back to my bow and arrows, looking through the darkness for the girl. I load my bow and take cover behind a tree "Where's your boyfriend, District Twelve? Still hanging on?" Well at least as long as she's talking I can try to track her voice. I'm determined not to give her the advantage, but I can still hear Peeta calling out for me and I'm afraid that if I don't say something back he's going to run right passed us, and I need all the help I can get right now.

"Peeta!" I yell, "District 2 found me!" I yell out to warn him. Everything is quiet as the girl and I are trying to track each other. If my hearing were better this would be easy, the only thing I can do at this point is stay as quietly still as possible and hope the cover of darkness is to her disadvantage as well. Minutes pass, I think my body has adjusted and I can move normally again. I make my way to another tree, I hear a knife whizzing through the air with my good ear, I dodge but it catches me across my forehead and opens a gash above my right eyebrow that sends a gush of blood down my face, I shoot an arrow blindly in the direction that the knife came from and hear the girl cry out in pain as I just did. It's not enough, it caught her in her left shoulder, but she runs at me, ripping it from her arm as she charges at me. I'm blinded by blood and can't get my bow reloaded in the time it takes her to jump me, we fall to the ground painfully, she sitting on my stomach and I'm sure to pass out from the pain soon enough.

"Well, your boyfriend took out my partner, now it seems that I'll get to return the favour." The girl taunts. "I think I'll make it extra messy for him, and leave you here so that he can find you before the hovercrafts." She pulls a knife from her boot and holds it high above her head, but her hands are caught by another set of hands and she's jerked off of me and thrown to the side. I hear a stabbing, a lot of stabbing, and a low moan escapes from her lips.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks, suddenly above me in a frantic voice. He's trying to wipe the blood from my face, my body feels so weak and damaged, but I use the last of my strength to put a kiss on his lips and hug him as close as I can to my body.