Chapter 10

"I think Kim hates me," Brian said.

Lana looked up with a look of shock on her face. "That's ridiculous. How on earth could anyone hate you, especially Kim?"

"Well, for starters, I asked her why the kitchen was dirty, and her response? 'Because you haven't cleaned it yet.' EXCUSE ME, I'm the one who hasn't even been in the damn house for the past two and a half weeks."

"Maybe she's just tired today. It doesn't mean she hates you."

"From what? She only works two days a week."

"She's probably PMSing," Paul laughed.

Lana glared at him. "Did I ask for anything from the peanut gallery? Go check Danny; he probably needs changed anyway."

"Oh goody, another shitty diaper. The highlight of my day."

"Speaking of grouchy people," Lana replied. "Now, where were we, Brian?"

"I don't know what Kimberly's problem is; I wouldn't mind her right now if I was getting laid but I haven't since I got home and THAT IS NOT HOW I WORK. For fuck's sake, I've gotten more action from Paul."

"You have not, Spanky!" Paul yelled from the other room. "Jesus."

"Have you even talked to her?" Lana suggested. "I know Kim's had some problems in the past with depression. Maybe that's it."

"What does she have to be depressed about? She only has to work two days a week, I take care of everything else, we got a decent place to live, she's got nooky for the taking when I'm home, that is, when she's not parked on the couch sleeping. Hell, she's only kissed me once and that was when she got me at the airport. Do I have cooties or something?"

"No, you don't have cooties," Lana reassured him. "To be honest, I don't think you're the problem at all."

"Thanks, Red. I even had to flip the couch earlier to get Kimberly's ass off of it."

"You know, that isn't going to score you any points."

"Well, it was my six hundred bucks, she was sleeping on it, so I pushed it over. Lazy bitch just went right to sleep on the floor."

"Sounds like depression all right."

"Well, whatever it is, I hope she snaps out of it soon. Last night it was a 'headache'; tonight she'll be 'tired' or 'not feel good.' Fuck it, if she's not putting out tonight, she's getting out and she can spend the night on the couch."

"So if she's not sucking, you're not bunking?" Paul asked, coming out with Danny.

"PAUL MICHAEL!" Lana cried.

"What? I just asked a simple question. Do all you chicks get crabby at the same time?"

"Don't push it, mister, or you'll see for yourself what crabby really is."

"Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"Take out. I'm tired and it's hot."

"Wow, I got that same response from Kimberly," Brian said. "Blech."

"You can't just make something quick?" Paul asked.

"I already spent all day booking your flights and hotels, arranging your schedule, getting this house cleaned up, and chasing after your son while you slept half the day," Lana replied, taking Danny from him.

"I can't help traveling has me all weird with my sleeping. And having Dan yell at times doesn't help much."

"He's seventeen months old; he can't exactly schedule his yelling around you yet."

"Red's done a lot more than I can say for Kimberly, PL. think I'll take a page out of your book and cook something, make it really spicy so she'll will really have some fire under lit her ass," Brian grinned.

"You're really asking to be a murder victim, aren't you, dude?" Paul laughed.

"Not to mention zero nooky," Lana added.

"So what the hell else has been new the last couple of days?"

"Look, Bri, just sit her down and talk to her. Doing stuff like spice in the food and flipping the couch isn't going to get you anywhere except her mad at you and then you'll really have a problem on your hands," Lana said. "There could be something wrong that has nothing to do with you."

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that and see what bug she has up her ass."

His phone then rang, which he took the call.

"Yeah, I'll be there in about ten minutes," Brian said to the person at the other end of the line before snapping the phone shut.

"Speaking of the Creature From the Black Lagoon," he explained, "she must be over her depression because she wants to go to the mall. Oh, fun."

"Good luck with that," Paul nodded.

"Yeah, she needs me as a pack mule to carry all of her shit, which I'll probably be paying for most of that too. Anyway, I got to go."

"Keep me posted," Lana said. "Maybe I'll give Kim a call later."