Fluff, fluffy fluff, and more fluff. But it's Midwinter, what do you expect? I had so much fun writing this, so it's probably the longest chapter yet.

The songs Lady Hawke plays are both Loreena McKennitt tunes; the first, with vocals, is called "Never-Ending Road (Amrhán Duit)" and the second one that Izzy dances to is "Kecharitomene". Both are found on the Ancient Muse album and I highly recommend a listen.

Ch. 10, in which the Hawke family and friends share a happy day. Warning: kittens ahead.

Midwinter day dawned bright and clear, a fact which made Lise smile when she opened the door. She found Fenris's traditional Midwinter gift to her – a stack of red cedar firewood wound with an exotic vine – upon the steps. He had never exactly admitted to being the one who left them each winter, but the first year they'd known each other he'd told her of a custom from Tevinter where each household would burn vine-wrapped cedar logs at Midwinter to ensure luck and prosperity for the coming year. When she'd found a stack outside Gamlen's house the next week, she'd made sure it was in the fireplace when her friends assembled for the meal. She found that she liked the smell of the vine when it burned – a spiciness which, when blended with the crisp cedar, was quite pleasant. Fenris had taken one sniff when he entered, looked to the fireplace, then nodded at her. She'd smiled, and in her eyes, that was enough; words sometimes got in the way between friends. There had been a similar stack at her door every year since.

This year, she was excited for her first Midwinter in the Amell – now Hawke – estate. She'd been up since before dawn watching the weather, but she needn't have worried. Hightown lay wrapped in a blanket of white from the day prior, but the sky was a brilliant blue and there was no scent of snow on the wind.

Everything had gone perfectly – she'd sent invitations to Cullen and Orsino, making sure to mention in each that if she had not been certain that Knight-Commander Meredith would have more pressing duties she would have invited her, but that she would never presume. Cullen sent back word that Meredith thanked Serah Hawke for her kind thoughts, but would not have the time.

This had the downside, however, of causing another fight between her and Anders. Which was good, because it showed that things were back to normal with them, but she still winced with each harsh word they spoke. When she received the responses, she'd gone to warn both him and Merrill that Orsino and Cullen would be there, and while Merrill had been quite understanding – never one to care whether or not she had to hide her magic – Anders had flown off the handle. He'd screamed at her, in his clinic, and she'd screamed back, finally cutting him off with "Then you're no longer invited!" as she'd slammed the door. Now she sighed, but tried not to let it ruin her day.

It was Sebastian's first year, too – and the fact that "Prince Vael" was attending her "Midwinter Revel" upgraded it from "secluded" to "select" in the eyes of her neighbours, and many of them sighed in vain for invitations. But Lise would not hear of it, no matter how much she knew it would have been more appropriate to hold a grand fête. This was her time, with her family and her friends who were as close as family.

Orana had come over quite early, and she, Leandra, Lise, and Merrill spent the morning cooking and baking until the estate smelled, as Merrill put it, "like someone had taken all the tastiest foods and put them together into one enormous pie." After lunch, when Merrill and Orana had gone home to dress for the party, Lise slipped into the study to gloat over her gifts to her friends – her favourite part of the year.

For Merrill, there was a delicately carved sylvanwood halla with branching horns, looking as if it'd be off apace the moment you set it down. She'd found an ornate Rivaini ship-in-a-bottle for Isabela, and while digging through the market stalls she'd been pleasantly surprised to find Varric's Tethras signet ring. She remembered him saying that his brother had pawned it to pay for the expedition, and she could tell he regretted it more than he'd admit.

For Fenris, who had made leaps and bounds in his reading, she'd bought the most extravagant and colourful copy of The Book of Shartan that she could find; for someone so monochromatic, Fenris had an unexpected love for bright and vibrant objects – not that he'd admit it, of course. She'd had Wesley's sword and shield repaired and mounted for Aveline, and in the same vein, she'd found an elegant, if damaged, longbow when they'd tracked the mercs who'd killed Sebastian's family. The Vael crest was etched in silver on the side, so she'd had it repaired and it lay, wrapped in silk, upon the table.

The item that had taken her the longest to acquire was her gift for her mother. She'd spent long hours consulting with Orsino – as someone who appreciated art – and Varric, who knew everyone in Hightown, to find someone who could paint a portrait from half-memories and descriptions. The result was a small but elegant portrait of Lise, flanked by Carver and Bethany. Of the group, Aveline was the only one who'd met Hawke's brother, and she said that the likeness was striking – and everyone agreed that Bethany looked exact.

For Bodhan, Sandal, and Orana there were various and sundry items she knew they'd enjoy – such as a new lute for Orana, who played beautifully. She'd been able to "acquire" a bottle of wine for Cullen from Isabela; no one knew the vintage or recipe but it was said that its ethereal flavour came from being stored in casks bound with lyrium.

Turning from the table, she saw her gift for Anders wrapped and placed in a secluded corner, and she frowned. She wasn't sure if he'd even come so that she could give it to him, but that might be just as well. She could not easily hand it to him in front of Cullen, though she knew Orsino would understand. It was a tall, elegantly gilded staff, with the figure of a winged woman at the top; it had been her father's, and as Bethy could no longer use it in the Wardens there was no one else to carry it. The only other person she'd consider giving it to was Orsino, but as her father had been an apostate who spent his life keeping himself and his daughter out of the Circle, she felt that Anders was the only one who deserved to carry it. Whether or not she agreed with his methods, Anders certainly embodied her father's ideals.

Instead, for Orsino, she chose a different gift, though it was just as special to her. She'd spent ages debating – some items seemed too cold, yet others were too personal. Finally, she remembered a conversation they'd had one night over books; he'd asked how Bethany had learned to control her magic so well, and she told him about their father's methods of teaching. That, in turn, lead to a discussion on magical theory, and he'd mentioned a book he'd read when he was an apprentice that he had always wanted to find again, with no luck.

She knew she had a copy - her father had taught Bethy with it, and Lise had learned all she knew about magic from its leaves - but she'd been loath to mention it as it was one of the few things she still had that had been his. Later, she realized that much like the staff, no one would use it if she did not pass it along, and she had other things with which to remember Malcolm Hawke. Now, on Midwinter's Day, she only had one more touch remaining and so she picked up her quill and on the inside flyleaf wrote, "To Orsino, my dear friend, with hopes that we will read together often. With affection, Lise." The quill lingered for a moment, but she shook her head and set it in the inkwell, fondly running a finger along the book's spine. Then, after a moment of reverie, she shook her head again – today was not the day to moon.

Coming out of the study, she found that Orana had returned to help her and her mother dress, and the rest of the afternoon was spent in a whirl of silks and hairpins and laughter. Fenris was the next to arrive, and Lise smiled to herself at the familiar way in which Orana pulled him aside to straighten his collar – for indeed, Fenris had put away his leathers and was wearing a plain black shirt and black pants, which suited him quite well.

Most of the rest of her friends arrived soon after, except for Sebastian – whom she expected to be late – and Cullen and Orsino, which made her edgy no matter how hard she tried to hide it. There was enough to do, however, between serving hot ciders and tea and trading gifts that she was kept quite busy, for all of her friends loved their presents. Especially her mother, who cried openly when presented with the portrait. There were many quiet smiles and hugs – so many of the gifts she gave this year were personal – and there was a good hour in which everyone showed off their treasures amidst discussions, drinks, and laughter. Soon, Sebastian joined them, and he presented Lise with a bottle of very old and very expensive Starkhaven scotch.

"You look lovely, Mistress Hawke."

Lise smiled, happily. "Thank you, Sebastian." She then had the irrelevant thought "I hope Orsino thinks the same" and quashed it, blushing, because it was ridiculous.

She saw Varric chuckle at the blush, and rolled her eyes. She just prayed that he didn't address Orsino as "Robes" tonight - she'd die of mortification. He and the First Enchanter hadn't met in the two weeks following her admission after the qunari episode, and although she was relatively sure the dwarf wouldn't try to embarrass her, she was still nervous.

She'd received gifts from nearly everyone; tall, sexy leather boots - with a wink - from Isabela. A new book from Varric, written by himself and more than likely about her "daring escapades". A tapestry from Aveline. Then, she noticed that Merrill was missing at the same time that her mabari, Rufus, began to bay. As everyone looked towards the foyer, a small kitten with fawn-tipped cream fur, green eyes and a huge matching green bow around its neck came running out of the kitchen – with the elven mage in hot pursuit, carrying a pillow. "Pouncy! Come back here and get on your bed!"

The kitten ignored Merrill, Rufus, and the roars of laughter, made a beeline for Hawke – who was wearing her mother's gift, a lovely crimson and copper silk gown – and stopped at her feet, mewling up at her. Cooing, she picked up the tiny ball of fluff, and it immediately bumped its head against her chin, purring.

"Hold on, there's a tag on the – hold still, little one! - oops, here it is." Lise managed to calm the squirming kitten long enough to read the card tied to the ribbon.

"I'm sorry. I hope you have a happy Midwinter, and I hope that Pouncy here will convince you to forgive me at some point. - Anders.

P.S. – Merrill helped pick him out."

Lise buried her face in the kitten's fur, causing him to purr even more loudly, and then she looked up at Merrill, nodding with a smile as she hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much, Merrill. And if you see Anders, tell him that 'Pouncy succeeded.'" Everyone laughed again, loudly enough that Lise's first realization that their last guests had arrived was when Orana opened the front door and Ser Cullen entered.

She found her pulse quickening as she moved forward to greet him, trying not to crane her neck to look at Orsino. Bodahn took the visitors' wraps, and she held out a hand in greeting to the templar. "Ser Cullen, First Enchanter. I'm so glad you could make it."

A few minutes before, Orsino and Cullen had been making small talk as they climbed the steps into Hightown from the docks. The mage found himself growing nervous – he'd been to Hawke's estate many times, but never for a formal gathering, and he'd never spent a great deal of time with all of her friends at once. It wasn't that he didn't want to – but he knew that Anders, especially, did not approve of him and he badly wanted everything to go well tonight. Not for any particular reason, of course. He just knew that Hawke had been planning this for a while.

When they arrived at the manor, he stood back and let the Knight-Captain knock. A minute passed, and then the door opened and a flood of warmth, spice, and laughter enveloped him. Smiling, he stepped into the foyer, handing Bodahn his wraps, and looked up to see Hawke walking towards them.

If anyone were to ask him later, he could pinpoint that as the exact moment he finally admitted that he was in love with her. He'd grown fond of their time together, but knowing their difference in age and status, he'd been careful to keep himself a little distant. And even had they been as close in age as she and Anders, it was impossible for a mage of the Circle to love anyone.

Now, however, he realized that it had all been for nothing – he'd fallen for her no matter how hard he'd tried to be cautious. It didn't help that tonight, she was a vision. She wore a copper silk gown, cut in such a way that it looked as if she were standing in a cascade of a thousand petals, and the brilliant crimson bodice and sash matched the garnets at her throat, wrists, and ears. The gems brought out the reddest hues of her auburn hair, which had been coiled and pinned up with a pair of long, ebony sticks, from which dangled a multitude of copper leaves and tiny garnet flowers. He could also see the twisting strands of her tattoo tracing the back of her neck. Her cheeks and eyes glowed with happiness and warmth, and she cuddled a tiny fluffball of a kitten under her chin.

She carefully sat the kitten down on a pillow nearby – it mewed at her but then started batting at the laces of her new boots – and after greeting Cullen, she walked towards him with hands outstretched. "Orsino, I'm so glad you came."

It was all he could do to murmur, "Thank you for inviting me, my dear," and take her hands – his own were so cold in comparison – to bow over. She seemed not to notice his nerves, however, and kept one of his hands as she turned to the assembled group.

"These are the last of our revellers – let us shut the door to the cold and keep the day with warmth, wine, and joy!" Everyone cheered and Lady Leandra led the way into the dining hall, where the feast awaited them.

Lise kept Cullen for a moment, handing him the bottle of wine. He bowed, looking surprised. "Thank you, Serah, but forgive me – I am a poor guest, for I brought no gift in return."

She shook her head and smiled at him, as Orsino noticed – and yet tried not to – how the colour in her cheeks illuminated her dimples. "Gifts are not given for a return, Ser Cullen. I just hope you enjoy it." Cullen bowed again, and then followed the rest of the group into the dining room, leaving her and Orsino.

He raised an eyebrow as she reached for the wrapped book, handing it to him – and he found himself regretting that she'd let go of his hand so that he could open it. When he saw the title, he was floored. "How did you – Hawke?"

She covered her mouth, hiding a happy smile. "It was father's, actually." He began to open the cover, but she moved her hand over his, looking self-conscious for a moment. "Let's join the others, shall we?"

Orsino nodded in acquiescence, dampening his curiosity, and she led him into the dining room where everyone was just sitting down. He found himself seated next to Lise, with Varric on his other side and Leandra across the table. She gave him a wide smile. "I'm so glad you could join us, First Enchanter."

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "I was honoured to receive your invitation, Lady Leandra." She smiled at him again, and turned towards Sebastian, and Orsino took the opportunity to peer into the book in his lap.

The inscription made him flush and smile, but it also steadied him. "My dear friend," he murmured. He closed his eyes, nodding to himself. Of course, Hawke thought of him as a friend – that she considered him dear was more than he'd hoped. There could not be anything between them, and if he did not control his emotions someone would suspect something. Then Knight-Commander Meredith would have him up for sedition, and that could cost Hawke a lot more than he was willing – and moreover, it might keep them from being able to meet.

The meal passed in pleasant merriment with everyone eating and drinking far more than they should, with jokes and laughter – even Cullen unbent enough to share tales of the Chantry with Sebastian and Merrill.

Orsino allowed himself to get caught up in the hubbub, his new-found feelings settling down so that by the end of the meal, he was able to smile and joke with Hawke like usual. It wasn't until dessert had finished and his hand bumped the box in his pocket that he realized that he hadn't yet given her his gift. He flushed, then frowned awkwardly. It was just a lovely trinket, but he now felt self-conscious and hoped that no one would read anything into it. He was just pulling it out when she stood, tapping her knife on the edge of her wineglass to call everyone's attention. Quickly, he slipped the box back and looked up.

"My dearest, closest friends – I am so glad you could all come today and share this special day. We all deserve a warm moment of peace in the midst of everything that's been happening.-"

"Hear, hear!" Isabela called. Varric shushed her as Lise laughed.

"Indeed. I just want to say that you are all dear to me and I would not be here if not for every one of you." She raised her glass. "To those beside us, hurrah!"

"Hurrah!" Everyone took a drink, joining her in the Ferelden toast.

"To those behind us, hurrah!"

"Hurrah!"

"And last but not least – to those ahead of us – hurrah!"

She drained her glass, then looked around the table, then down at Orsino, smiling. "To new friends, old friends, and someone fill my glass to stop me talking!"

Everyone laughed and several hands helped her back into her seat, while Isabela and Sebastian filled her glass from two different directions. Bodahn and Sandal cleared the table – Fenris had Orana seated beside him and wouldn't let her get up and help, which was probably distressing her less than usual due to the fact that he also had his arm around her shoulders.

When everything was cleared away, Lise stood again with her glass. "I propose that we retire to the drawing room for music, if everyone is amenable?"

There was silence for barely a second but it was just long enough for everyone to hear "MEW!" as Pouncy finally managed to scramble onto the tablecloth. The following riot of laughter frightened the kitten, who snatched up a piece of chicken far bigger than himself and disappeared back over the edge and under Lise's chair.

Orsino let the others push on ahead and then picked a chair towards the side of the room as everyone settled down. He could see the empty space where Hawke would play in front of the fireplace, with its heavy scent of spice and cedar, but he could also stay circumspect as most chairs were turned away from him. The balcony was to his back, but the doors were muffled, ceiling to floor, with heavy brocade curtains.

Lise and Orana walked to the front of the room – the latter blushing furiously, with Lise reassuring her that really, she'd be wonderful – and Orana sat down at the harp while Lise picked up her violin. She tuned it for a moment, then stepped forward and addressed the group in a stage voice.

"Thirty years ago, a handsome rogue named Malcolm Hawke stole the heart of Kirkwall beauty Leandra Amell, who was promised to the Comte de Launcet. Malcolm was ecstatic – the lady swore she loved him and promised him she would be his wife as soon as they could manage." Lise looked around the room, a twinkle in her eye. She knew that Varric was taking notes as fast as he could scribble; he knew part of her family's story, but not all.

"Such happiness is a challenge to fate, however. There were those who hunted Malcolm, and the time for him to flee came much sooner than they expected. He could not leave without his love – could not live without her – but how was he to let her know?"

Lise hummed softly, drawing the first few soft notes from her violin. "As luck would have it – and everyone knows a handsome rogue makes his own luck – the Amells were hosting a Midwinter Masque. He slipped in, disguised along with everyone else, and at some point managed to get a note into the lady's hand."

"What did it say?" Varric called.

"I'll tell you what it said," Lise said, still playing quietly. "'My love,' It said. 'I must leave tonight at midnight, but I cannot go without you. Will you go away with me?' And the lady was distraught. She thought of her family, of her brother and parents – but then she thought of her love and realized that she could never let him go away without her. However, she hadn't seen the mask he wore – so how was she to give him her answer?"

The violin kept its lilting song as Orsino leaned in, interested. He'd never heard the story of how her parents met, though he'd heard – vaguely – of the scandal that had occurred before he'd arrived in Kirkwall.

After a moment, Hawke continued. "The evening passed and Leandra grew more and more worried as the clock struck closer to twelve. As luck would have it – and everyone knows a beautiful woman makes her own luck – when the bells chimed eleven-thirty, her mother asked her to play for those assembled. And that, my friends, is how she gave her answer."

Dropping the singsong tone she'd taken up as she told her tale, Lise turned to her mother with a tender smile. "That was the story of how my father won my mother's heart, and this is the anniversary of the song that was her answer. I'd like to play it for you all, and for her, in his memory." Leandra smiled back with tears in her eyes and nodded to her daughter.

Hawke turned to Orana and the two began to play a lovely, lilting duet of of harp and violin. Then, Lise started to sing.

"The road now leads onward
as far as can be,
winding lanes
and hedgerows in threes.
By purple mountains
and 'round every bend,
all roads lead to you -
there's no journey's end.
Deep in the winter
amidst falling snow;
high in the air,
the bells, they all toll.
Now, all around me,
I feel you still here.
Such is the journey -
no mystery to fear.
Here is my heart and I give it to you -
take me with you, across this land.
These are my dreams, so simple and few;
dreams we hold in the palms of our hands.
The road now leads onward,
I know not where;
I feel in my heart
that you will be there.
Whenever a storm comes,
whatever our fears
the journey goes on
as your love ever nears."

Orsino could not take his eyes away from her. He knew she was musical – she'd picked up the violin once or twice during his visits – but never before had he heard her sing. Her voice was lovely, and the emotion carried in the song – especially with its message – made him wish a great many things that he knew could never be. He took a deep breath and carefully slid back in his chair, resting his forehead in his hand.

He missed her eyes flickering in his direction at the end of the song.

The applause afterwards was riotous and she bowed, then made Orana get up and bow, too. As the group called out for more, Lise beckoned to Isabela. "You're dressed for dancing, my dear. Would you like to?"

"I won't make you ask twice!" Izzy laughed, jumping up. Whereas she usually wore her habitual white pirate tunic, leather boots, and not much more, this time she'd dressed up. She was wearing an authentic – if a bit short – Rivaini gypsy outfit, with a pale blue blouse with belled sleeves, a pleated black skirt, and so much golden jewelry that she sparkled from head to toe. Orana took a seat next to Fenris, who kissed her cheek, and then Varric got up. "I know this one!" He took up the lute sitting beside the fire and tuned it while the two women talked in low tones.

What followed was a complete change from the first song. Instead of a mournful melody, Hawke coaxed out a rollicking tune from Rivain that had everyone on the edge of their seats, tapping their feet. Isabela took her place in the centre of the group, and proceeded to dance – not her normal bawdy displays from the Hanged Man, but instead a spirited, traditional gypsy dance, with shimmying hips and pounding feet. The gold coins of her jewelry chimed in time with the song, and by the end everyone was clapping along.

When that had finished, everyone surrounded her, clapping her on the back, offering wine and compliments, which was perfectly fine for Lise. She'd seen Orsino get up in the middle of the piece and slip behind the curtains at his back – she heard the tell-tale creak of the balcony door and found herself at a loss as to what had disturbed him. Was it too warm? Were they too loud?

She carefully laid her violin down while everyone else was busy with Isabela, then slipped behind the curtains as well. She opened the door, quietly avoiding the creak, and stepped out to join him. He was looking up at the stars, lost in his own thoughts, and it struck her again how very handsome he was this evening, in a dark green-and-gold robe. Banishing the thoughts that brought to mind – damn you, Varric – she cleared her throat. "Orsino?"

He jumped, a bit startled, and looked at her with a flush on his cheeks, though she could barely see it in the moonlight. "Lise!"

She smiled. "That's the first time you've ever called me that, you know."

Orsino flushed harder. "I beg your pardon, Hawke-"

Lise held up a hand. "No, please. I wish more of my friends used that name."

He nodded slowly. "Did I disturb anyone? I meant to be quiet, as I just needed some air."

She shook her head. "No, I think I was the only one who noticed. Is everything all right?"

The concern in her voice made him smile, and he looked down at her. "Everything is perfect, my dear. Thank you for coming to look for me." A thought struck him, and he reached into his pocket. "I think this is a good time for me to give you my Midwinter's gift – I hadn't the chance, earlier."

He laid the box in her hand and she opened it, then gasped, blushing. "Orsino! You shouldn't have!" Nestled in the centre of the shredded paper lay a carnelian hawk the size of her palm, with outstretched wings and a rose-quartz flower in its talons.

As she picked it up, carefully, he took it from her. "It's a hair clip – I couldn't resist the play on your name. Turn your head?"

She did as he asked and he carefully pinned it to the side of her coiled coif, trying not to notice the single curl that lay upon her neck or the whiteness of her skin where her sleeves fell away from her arms. She smiled up at him when he was done, her cheeks still pink. "Thank you so much."

He took her hands and bowed over them, then looked up at her in a way that made her breath catch. "No, my dear. Thank you. This has been a wonderful evening, and I am enjoying myself immensely."

Just then, a breeze whipped up and she shivered, taking the chance to turn away and hide her flustered face. "Shall we rejoin everyone?"

"Please, Lise. After you." He held open the door and the two re-entered the room. No one seemed even to have noticed their absence, and Sebastian had picked up the lute and was singing an old, popular tune from Starkhaven in his deep brogue.

A hour or so later, Cullen found him alone. "First Enchanter, it's about time for us to go."

He sighed, and nodded. "Of course, Knight-Captain. Let me find our host and give her our farewells." He looked around. He did not see Hawke in the drawing room with everyone else – Fenris and Orana had already left, as had Aveline and Sebastian. Merrill was talking to Rufus and Sandal, and Isabela and Varric were in the kitchen, still drinking.

Cullen went to retrieve their wraps from Bodahn and Orsino poked his head into the study. As expected, Lise was in a chair by the fire, but as he neared he realized that she was asleep. There was a blanket in her lap, and Pouncy was curled up on top of it. He smiled at the sight, a strange contentment welling up in his heart, and he leaned over to pull the blanket a little further up over her arms.

"Shush," he murmured to Pouncy, who'd awoken, mewing sleepily at him; the kitten decided he was no menace and curled back up. Orsino looked down at Lise for a long moment, then leaned over and pressed his lips gently to the top of her head, murmuring, "Good night, emma sa'lath."

He turned and left the room, and within a few minutes he and Cullen were walking back to the Gallows, talking quietly about the evening.

Back at the estate, Anders gently shook Lise awake, chuckling as Pouncy also woke again, and mewed at him. She looked up, and then smiled happily as his face registered. "Anders!"

"Happy Midwinter, Hawke."

"Happy Midwinter! Have you been here long?"

"Long enough." Anders frowned, remembering what he'd seen from the doorway. Now he had even more reason to distrust the First Enchanter.

"Anders? Is something wrong?"

He shook his head, smiling again. "No. I'm just sorry I didn't come earlier."

She got up and went to the corner, picking up the staff. His eyes widened as she handed it to him. "Hawke, no! Isn't this your father's staff?"

Lise smiled. "It was. Now it's yours. Happy Midwinter, Anders."

He looked at her, unsure. "This is too much..."

"It is not. You fight for the same things that father did. But you must promise me one thing, Anders – to always fight fairly, and honourably."

Anders bowed his head, and nodded. "I promise, Hawke."

emma sa'lath (EHM-mah sah-lath): my one love

As always, the characters belong to Bioware. I just use them for my own amusement.