Catholic School Girl

Chapter 10: Meet The Parents

Strands of her hair that weren't twisted up in Puck's right fist were catching on, and being tugged out by, the cement wall at the back of the stage as she attempted to keep pace with Puck's fervent mouth. His chapped lips felt dry against hers and, for a split second, she wondered if the raw spots made kissing her feel like pure agony. She forgot about this, however, when she lost track of his left hand, which had been tucked behind her knee, pulling her leg up around his thigh.

"We have to go," Tina gasped, reluctantly pushing at his chest. "Or, I have to go. I'll be late for religion."

Making out in the auditorium during their shared independent study period had become their afternoon routine. Puck had even taken the initiative to learn his lines for the play – which was what they had been using the time for – at home just so it wouldn't get in the way of something he actually enjoyed doing. He also figured if all he was going to get was making out – and some occasional second base action, because his girl was kind of awesome like that – he was going to do it as much as humanly possible.

He flashed her a crooked grin, which was the one thing he knew Tina couldn't resist. "C'mon, babe. You could ace religion in your sleep." He kissed her lightly, teasing her bottom lip with a gentle bite. "What's one class?"

"N-not fair," she protested, but didn't stop him from sucking on the spot – and god was he good at it – just behind here ear.

"Not suppose to be," he said, his voice muffled.

"Okay," she said, breaking away before he could catch her. "I really have to go. If I miss a class, they'll call home." She stood, fingers combing through her hair, desperately trying to hide what she'd been up to. "Then I'd have to explain everything to my p-parents."

Puck shrugged. "You're going to have to tell them eventually."

She looked at him, one eyebrow raised as if he'd just said the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. "What? That instead of working on my music, I'm making out with my boyfriend that they don't kn-know about."

"Don't leave out the part about letting me touch your boobs sometimes. It adds shock value," he teased as she swatted at him. With her missed attempt, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to him.

"I'm serious," she said, not really knowing what else to say as she felt his hands slip just under the bottom of her white dress shirt, his thumbs gently rubbing circles on either side of her belly button.

"So am I," he said, "I'm pretty proud that you let me get anywhere near them."

She tried to suppress a smile. Even when he was vulgar, she found him charming. "You don't even want to meet my parents. So why are we even talking about it?"

She was right. He hadn't actually met any girl's parents in awhile, mostly because parents were never high on his list of people he liked meeting. Usually they took one look at him and he could see their impressions written all over their faces. "Thug," "delinquent." "Stay away from my daughter." He really didn't want to have to prove himself to strangers, especially when he'd already proved himself to her. But he was tired of parking halfway down the block when he picked her up or dropped her off. And he hated always having to hang out at his house whenever they did because his mom was constantly looking over their shoulders. Sure her mom sounded like a bit of a nightmare – because who could anyone not like Artie just because bro was in a wheelchair – but she couldn't be any worse than his.

And even though he pretended not to notice, because he didn't want to upset her by talking about it, he knew it bugged her to lie to her parents. Crazy and overbearing as she made her mom sound sometimes, Tina loved her, and the way she talked about her dad – he was basically her hero and defender when it came to her mom – Puck knew that they were super close. Outside of Mercedes, and the McKinley crew, they were the people she spent the most time with. Lying to them didn't come naturally to her, and he knew that if he bit the bullet and met them, she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

"Because that's what boyfriends do, right? They meet parents to make their girlfriends happy, then their girlfriends repay them with some serious lovin'."

She shoved him playfully. "One track mind."

"What can I say? You're kinda hot like that, and I'm kind of a dude like that," he said. "So, seriously, when's this whole 'meet the parents' thing gonna go down?

Her face fell a little. While the idea of rewarding him in the way he wanted for meeting them appealed to her, she still was unsure of how it would all go. More specifically, what her mother would find wrong with him. She liked him way too much to break up with him now, but she knew her mother. If she detected even an inkling of imperfection, she would latch onto it and never let go. "I'll let you kn-know."

"Soon," he called out, but she offered no reply.

As she sat through religion, which she arrived to late and had to concoct a crazy lie about losing her sheet music and just having to find it before coming to class, she couldn't manage to focus on what the Sister was saying. She was focused on how she was going to make this thing with her parents meeting Puck…well, work.

She knew that her dad would not give him a hard time. In fact, she had mentioned Puck to him before, but only casually. He was "a boy she was helping with his lines," or, "the boy in the play, the one he gives me a ride home sometimes." Still, she knew her face was too revealing when she talked about Puck, and even though her dad said nothing more than, "That's good sweetheart," there was something in his soft smile that told her he knew. He probably wouldn't expect Puck when he walked through the door, but he would likely be more willing to accept him.

It was her mother he was going to chase him away.

She would see his mohawk, and his worn leather jacket, and automatically assume that Puck was no good. She would taking him being in the play, as him encouraging Tina in all the wrong ways. The only thing that he would going for him was that he was Jewish, and that his mom was kind of strict, but not even those things would trump the other stuff. It would probably take a day or two, but her mother would get around to scrutinizing the relationship to Tina, and drive her nuts with each little thing until...

Until I either start seeing what she sees or I stop it before it gets that far.

"You coming?" she heard. When she blinked, and looked up, Mercedes was standing over her. Class must have been over, since Mercedes wasn't in her religion class, but she just hadn't heard the bell.

"Uhm, sure. I actually have something I n-need some help with," she said as they walked down the hall.

Mercedes looked at her. "This isn't going to be a sex thing, is it? Because, I really don't know if I can handle thinking of Puck...like that."

Tina chuckled. She and Mercedes had never talked about "sex things," mostly because neither of the had much to talk about as far as personal experience. But lately, Mercedes had been dropping hints that she and Sam were doing more than just cuddling in pretty much every conversation they had. "No, it's not about sex. It's about him wanting to meet my parents."

Mercedes stopped dead in her tracks. "Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, it's Puck."

"I know," Tina said lightly as she kept walking towards the auditorium.

"And…it's your mom."

"I know that too."

Mercedes eyebrows shot up, but Tina couldn't tell what if she was confused, or just skeptical. "Wait, this was his idea?"

"It kind of came up randomly, and he pushed the issue."

"But why? He seems like the type who'd want to avoid parents at all costs."

Tina nodded. "Me too. I was kind of hoping that's how he'd be, anyway. But he insisted. Something about 'that's what boyfriends d-do,' and him 'getting some lovin',' out of it."

"He's meeting your parents so he can get laid?" Mercedes scoffed.

"See, that's the thing. He's n-not going to get laid, and he kn-knows it because we don't do that," Tina said, her voice growing a bit sheepish by the end. She knew she shouldn't be embarrassed by such a thing, especially not with Mercedes. But somehow, knowing that Mercedes and Sam were doing…something…made her feel like she should be on par somehow.

"Do you think maybe he's…trying to be a stand up guy?" suggested Mercedes.

"He doesn't n-need to try," Tina said, as they walked into the auditorium and she saw him on the stage, crouched down talking to Artie, who was putting the finishing touches on some scenery.

"If you feel that way, maybe you should invite him."

"And if my mom can't see that in him?" Tina asked.

Mercedes put an arm around Tina's waist. "Then she can't. And she'll make you crazy. But you won't let her get to you, because you can see it."

Tina turned to her, a smile on her face. "Have I ever told you what an awesome best friend you are?"

Mercedes bumped her hip against Tina's. "You don't have to. I already know I'm fabulous. Now go, and tell your man he's having dinner with your parents tomorrow."

Puck stood in front of a door he had seen tons of times. Knocking on it, though, was a complete trip, mostly because he'd never thought he'd be walking through it.

After how resistant she'd been, he was surprised that it took her about an hour to decide she wanted him to have dinner. And now that he was standing there, he was hoping that doing it was as good an idea as it had been the day before, in the auditorium.

He'd gone all out – bought a new dress shirt, which he'd hid in his car so his mom wouldn't see it and make a fuss, put on a real tie, a skill he'd have to thank his Nana for teaching him if it all went well, and got some flowers for Tina's mom. That last one had been Artie's idea. He said it might get him some points, and Puck was pretty sure that he was going to need all the help he could get tonight.

"Why are you sweating this? You're a badass," he said to himself.

Whose wearing a gay looking tie and carrying flowers.

He took a deep breath, and tucked his chin to his chest like he was about to charge into battle, before he finally rang the bell.

When the door opened, a middle-aged Asian man that Puck recognized stood there, a smile on his face.

"You must be Noah." He offered Puck a hand.

Puck fumbled with the flowers, before responding with a shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," said Mr. Cohen-Chang, as he ushered Puck into the front hall and offered to take the flowers and his coat.

Puck noticed that he was looking down at the man as he hung up his jacket. He wasn't a big guy himself, and it only made Tina's dad seem tinier. Still, he treated Puck differently than other dads. He looked him in the eye, and he didn't talk down to him like he was just another dumb kid who was trying to get in his daughters pants. Puck felt like he might have a chance with this guy. Or, at least, he hoped he did. Having one of her parents in his corner might actually be nice.

When they walked into the dining room, Tina and her mom were already sitting around a set table. "I'm not late, am I?" he said, feeling suddenly intimidated.

Mrs. Cohen-Chang turned around, and stood, which did absolutely nothing to ease Puck's nerves. Unlike her husband, she was tall. Almost like a statue. Or one of those indestructible pillars he'd seen pictures of in his history book. "No, of course not. We just wanted to be ready when you got here, Noah."

Puck figured that was "mom speak" for, we don't want you to stay any longer than you need to. For some reason, though, it snapped him out of whatever weird, unsettled state he'd been in. "Cool. But you can just call me Puck. Everybody does." He moved to the empty chair beside Tina, and gave her a quick kiss on the temple before he said down.

The dinner was good – her dad had made jambalaya because she'd told him it was Puck's favorite, which Puck thought was pretty cool. Her mom barely gave him a chance to eat it though because she was asking him a million and one questions about his family, and school, and all the things that he liked to do. She had a pretty good poker face, so he really couldn't tell what she thought of his answers, but he didn't care too much. He just answered honestly.

"Tina tells us that you are in the play with her," her mother said after the dinner plates had been cleared, and Puck was working on his second serving of dessert - lemon bars, another of his favorites.

"Yeah, I am," Puck said, making sure not to talk with his mouth full. "Actually, Tina was the reason I tried out. I wanted to talk to her, and I knew she liked to sing, so a musical made sense."

"You must like to sing as well, since you got the lead."

"Singing's alright. I actually like to play more than sing," he admitted.

"Oh really? What do you play?"

"Mostly guitar. A little bass, and drums. And piano," he said.

"That's very impressive," she said, leaving her dessert untouched. He would have found it odd that she wasn't eating, since they were so damn so good, but he figured it would've kept her from interrogating him Law&Order style. "You know Tina plays piano. Her father insisted. He thought that it would build her confidence, what with the stutter and all. That's what got her into singing, you know? She just started singing along to the songs she played."

"I guess it worked out, then, because she's a great singer. Hands down the best at her school," Puck said, as he reached over and squeezed Tina's hand. "They were stupid for not giving her the lead in the play."

"Well, obviously they had their reasons," said Mrs. Cohen-Chang, matter-of-factly.

Puck looked squarely at her, suddenly feeling very protective of Tina. "When you hear the girl who is playing the lead sing, you're going to think their reasons were wrong. Trust me. It makes hanging out in a nursery full of screaming babies seem like a picnic."

The attempted smile on her mom's face was more of a straight line than anything, and Puck knew instantly that he had probably said the wrong thing. Still, she moved on from it quickly, muttering a quick, "We shall see," then asking, "So, Puck, how serious is this thing between you kids?"

Tina let out a low groan, not the kind he was use to hearing while his mouth was assaulting the few parts of her she allowed it to. When he turned to look, her cheeks were turning a deep shade of red that, strangely, he loved seeing on her. "Jees, mother. Subtle."

"What? I think it's an honest question. I'd like to know what's going on between the two of you."

Tina shot Puck a warning look, almost as if to say, don't be yourself right now, and just tell them what they want to hear. He was a little annoyed by it, mostly because he'd spent the whole dinner not saying anything inappropriate. Not one curse word the whole. And now she was worried.

"I like Tina, a lot. And, from what she's told me, she likes me too."

"Yes, clearly, dear. But what does that mean? I know you children are so fond of putting labels on everything, so what would you label this? Are you in a relationship, are you just dating, are you…what is the phrase the kids use, Jeffrey…oh yes, friends with benefits?"

"Oh my god," hissed Tina, who's red face had now fallen into her hands, looking like she wanted to die.

Puck tried not to laugh at the last part, mostly because he always found it funny when adults tried to use the same phrases teenagers did. Even if she had meant to be malicious, he couldn't take it seriously. "It's nothing like that, Mrs. C. She's just my girlfriend, and I'm just her boyfriend. Nothing shady about it."

"Miriam, dear, I think we've harassed Puck enough for one evening," Tina's father piped in. He had been quiet for most of the dinner, asking a pointless question, like which sports teams Puck liked, here and there. Now he was going to swoop in and save the day. "We should probably let him go before we embarrass either of them any more."

Mrs. Cohen-Chang laughed lightly. "Oh, I'm sorry if I embarrassed anyone," she said, directing her words more towards Puck than Tina. "Just a curious mom is all."

Puck stood up, and offered to pull Tina's chair out – another classy move suggested by Artie. He really owed that kid. "No worries. My mom is the same way. Thanks for dinner, though," he said as he walked into the hall to get his coat.

"You're welcome to come back any time," Mr. Cohen-Chang said, giving Puck an apologetic smile and a pat on the shoulder. "Tina, why don't you walk Puck to his car?" She nodded and quickly pushed Puck out the front door.

"I can't believe her," she fumed as they walked through the cold November evening, towards his car. "I mean, she basically asked you if we were having sex."

"Yeah. But at least she's not like my mom, who straight up asked me if we were having sex and when I told her 'no' she didn't believe me at first." He took off his coat his coat off and wrapped it around her, a gesture she appreciated. "It's really not a bid deal, babe."

"You sure?"

"Totally. I mean, that could've gone way worse, right?"

She was about to tell him that she didn't really know how it went, considering that her mother wasn't really the type to call him out up front. She would try to undermine him later on, when you're not around. But Tina did not want to make that his problem, or to seem like she was worrying too much. "Yes, much worse." Tina leaned against him. "So I guess I'm going to have to make good on your end of the deal," she said, a devilish smile on her face that he hadn't seen before.

"Huh?" he said.

Standing on the curb, she reached up and kissed him roughly, her lips hard and demanding against his. "Round one of the 'lovin' ' you get for meeting my parents," she said. "The rest you get tomorrow, after play practice since my parents will be at the theater…late."

His mouth curved against hers as she took his hand, and guided it underneath his jacket.

Operation Meeting Mom…success.