Well, it's been a while, but I finally finished a new chapter! Drum sounds... and here you go.

TORN APART

The water burned, it burned so fucking badly, but some how it felt so good on his abused flesh. He closed his eyes and let the boiling hot water rain down on his face silently praying it would mar the beauty of his true form, a face that needed to be destroyed for it revealed his true mantel.. A mantel that no one could ever know.

His mind slid to all the men he had strung up and cleansed, the echoes of their screams rang in his ears... but in the end they all grew more peaceful, as they lost more blood and as their sense of reality dulled away before they were returned to god some of them even smiled. Sometimes he wondered if the same was true for angels.

Pain never goes away, all an angel can do is destroy themselves further. He remembered painfully.

He pressed his cheek against the cold tile, enjoying the contrast between the hot and cold even as the wall was stained red from the blood of his destroyed chest. He supposed his chest must have been better than his back, which he feared may never heal properly. He silently wondered in the solitude of the shower if the bleeding would ever stop.. at least the bleeding inside him. Blood was good, blood was cleansing, it washed away the sins... but what if the blood itself was sin? This blood felt different.

"IF YOU WANT TO LIVE AS DEMON YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY WITH THEM." the young niave angel said nothing to argue. Being forced onto a day trip to hell was a typical punishment for angels, but usually they didn't spend their time in hell tied to a bed, the angel terrifiedly and bitterly assumed that his punishment was meant to match his crime.

When Raguel picked him up three days later his head laid in the sadist who called himself the master of hell's lap, who stroked his hair in some sick reparation. It was Sodom and Gamorah all over again. The angel was covered in blood and the demons seemed sad to see their plaything go, smiling and laughing at him, saying "they'd see him again soon."

To the angel's surprise, none of them were crueller than the man who'd come to take him back into god's grace. He'd been completely debilitated so he couldn't even fight back when he felt Raguel's hands sliding over his blood-slickened thighs.

"Absolutely filthy, now your outsides match your insides." he smiled then, looking nothing like an angel, "You've been tainted."

You can never be untainted. He would forever be an outcast, a tainted angel, no better than a demon.

Tears trickled down his face, creating patterns in the blood, it wasn't his fault! He was born to a defiled alter and bestowed a cursed name... all he did was kiss Raguel... he hadn't meant to do it...

"That doesn't mean anything," he whispered to himself, he pulled out the slightly dulled knife his father used to use to shave, "no one is free of god's wrath." he took the knife a dragged it down the length of his arm, feeling the cool metal slice through is skin and veins, the sound of flesh tearing was just as satisfying when it was his own as it was when it was another deviants. He gave a sick smile, he really was insane.

Angel pulled the warm body closer letting his hands slide over the warm, pliant alabaster skin. The stillness in the smaller form as he touched him quickly told the angel the smaller male had slid into unconsciousness. He cupped his cheek and tilted the smaller male's head up, and sure enough he saw only coal black eyelashes, red eyes closed to the world. He caressed the demon's face gently, brushing slightly dampened strands off of his pale forehead. He pulled the smaller up slightly so he laid in the crook of his arm and sighed. He sort of liked the moments after the fact... sometimes even better then the act itself depending on the day. He liked being able to hold the other without feeling him tense in fear or tug away. Times like these they almost looked like lovers, he could almost fool himself into believing that the demon was willing, that he trusted him, that he didn't wish for his death... almost. It didn't take a genius to tell Sebastian hated him.

Sebastian hand had been resting on his arm, suddenly sharp black nails pierced his skin and drew blood, making him wince slightly. For a second he thought the demon may have woken until he heard him whimper softly and a small tremor go through his body. He moved his arms so they were wrapped around Sebastian, hoping the embrace would offer the smaller male some comfort in his night terrors. I wonder what demons have nightmares about...

"Shh... You're okay... I'm here, nothing's going to hurt you." he knew in his head that he shouldn't care, that Sebastian was a creature from hell, the ultimate sinner with no real chance for salvation so seeing him in pain should be enjoyable to the angel of wrath... but things never worked the way they should. Sebastian wasn't like other demons, normal demons didn't stop to cuddle kittens, normal demons formed contracts with whoever summoned them.

"You don't make any sense.." he whispered softly, and that was what infatuated him about Sebastian. But the demon he held in his arms wasn't that same creature... sure he wasn't vastly different but there was a sort of hopelessness in his eyes now, an almost human grief over his loss that Angel had never seen in a demon before. He'd seen other angels make the mistake of falling for a demon, most demons loved the prospect... tainting an innocent little angel? What could be better then causing an angel of god to fall from grace? At the very least a normal demon would have tried to use the fact to their advantage. Sebastian didn't seem to want anything Angel had to offer.

He looked down and observed the orange-ish fluid (a mixture of seamen and blood) oozing out of him. He gave a sardonic chuckle, Is there really any wonder why? Maybe the problem with all of this was that Angel was never really in god's grace to begin with. Sometimes he wondered if being in god's good graces was really possible for an angel of wrath. He was cursed with anger, lust, hatred... many emotions that were completely unknown to other angels, and even worse, guilt.

"I can make things better... This isn't what I wanted... I swear..." that was a lie, Angel didn't know what he wanted, years of having his every choice dictated made sure of that. Sometimes he wanted to string the sinful creature up and beat him until he couldn't move, sometimes he got horrible pangs of guilt that drove him to mutilating himself instead. There was only to things in his world the angel was sure of, that he hated himself, and that he loved Sebastian, for whatever reason, whether for his gentle features of the sound of his voice when it echoed of the walls in the form of a scream, he loved Sebastian.

"What in god's name is wrong with me? Why do I have to be the one?! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE WEAK LINK?!" He buried his head into the crook of Sebastian's neck, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

Sebastian stared dully at the ceiling, Like this is what I wanted?

Were getting close to figuring out who Angel really is... Review if you want to find out!