Disclaimer: Nope, Harry Potter is not mine it is J.K. Rowling's

STORIES

Hermione's heart was beating so fast that she couldn't even hear her own thoughts. She closed her eyes and started speaking.

"I have been having terrible nightmares and flashbacks about the war. The flashbacks pull me totally out of reality for a while and I become completely disorganised and dizzy. That is what happened that made me come here."

Draco could tell it was hard for her to tell him this. She continued anyway. "I was on my way to the Great Hall for lunch when it started again. I could hear yells of incantations and feel the warmth and intensity of spells just missing me. I saw people running for their lives and I saw dead people lying on the ground. That is when I remembered Lupin and Fred – how still and cold they looked, their eyes seeing no more. It all became too much. I also started seeing things that weren't true - a dead Harry and Ginny. My head began to swim and a cold sweat started to drench my body. Luckily I soon realised where I was – so I escaped before someone saw me like that."

Draco let her words sink in. A lot of things made sense to him now: the strange look on her face the other night, the circles under her eyes, the faraway look in her eyes sometimes. He guessed beforehand that all of it had something to do with the war but didn't know what caused it.

Draco could easily identify with Hermione's dread. He himself had trouble with nightmares about the war. Almost every night he will wake up drenched in sweat, screaming. It is so bad that he started to cast the Muffliato spell around his bed.

Hermione stared into the fire, her eyes glistening with tears that threatened to leak from her eyes. She willed herself not to cry – she was stronger than that. She can break down when she was alone again.

Draco looked at her. He can see that she was trying very hard to stay strong and keep her composure. He didn't have the right words to comfort her. How can he comfort someone else when he himself needed it? He moved closer to sit next to her. Hermione looked away to hide the lone tear that now rolled down her cheek. All the memories came back to her now. More tears started to silently roll down her face. She wiped it away consciously and moved to sit hunched over, her face in her hands. Draco knew it must be hard for her to be in such a vulnerable place in his presence. He can just imagine that she doesn't want people to see her when she feels so weak. Draco awkwardly put his hand on her back in a humble attempt to comfort her now that he can see how much pain she was in. Seeing someone give into their pain made Draco want to keep his locked away even more – letting it out seemed like a painful experience itself.

"Don't try not to cry Hermione; it is essential that you let it out – it will make you feel better. I will leave you alone."

And with that Hermione couldn't stop all the tears from falling. This was the first time she really cried after the war. Her whole body shook and her face was completely wet. Draco stood up to leave when Hermione croaked, "Please don't leave." Hermione didn't want to be alone – even if it meant being with Draco. And she felt oddly comfortable with him there. Draco sat down again and put his arm around her shoulders. He knew he couldn't just sit next to her end not even try to comfort her. He sat with her while she cried without uttering a single word. Seeing other people cry never evoked any kind of emotion in Draco before. For him it was a sign of weakness. But seeing Hermione cry made him feel something and it didn't feel too good. Was it sympathy?

Hermione began to calm down. Someone else's touch was always a comfort to her when she was sad and Draco's touch was different. It was subtle but not unsure. She regained control over herself again and straightened up to look at Draco. Draco's arm was still around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry about that," was all that she could manage to say while wiping the last tear stains from her face. She even managed a small smile.

Draco just looked at her. Even with red, swollen eyes from all the crying she was still beautiful. "You need not apologize. Everyone needs to cry like that once in a while. It's part of the healing process."

Hermione smiled a little and reached out to touch his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you."

Draco felt a bit dazed. What was happening? Was he really busy connecting with Hermione Granger? But Draco knew he truly meant what he said. Telling her that crying was part of the healing process didn't change the fact that he himself cannot cry over everything that has happened. Maybe tears will come when he speaks about it. Hermione knew there was wisdom in Draco's words.

"You know, I feel much better now; lighter. Don't you sometimes feel like crying Draco?" Hermione asked quietly. Draco laughed an empty laugh and his grey eyes turned cold and dead which made a chill run down Hermione's spine.

"The war must have been hard on you too." Hermione stated.

"Hard is not even the correct word. But yes it was – more than anyone will ever know. I can truly say I know what you are going through with the flashbacks. I have been having the most terrifying nightmares one can possibly imagine. Most nights I can't sleep." Draco decided that this was all he was going to say about the subject. Hermione shared something with him and this is all he will share with her. He stood up to show that it was the end of the discussion.

Hermione looked a bit surprised by his revelation and was almost certain there was more to it than he let on. But she would have never guessed that he was going through a similar thing as she. It felt to her as if the whole world could see her struggle. She realised he didn't want to say anything further on the matter so she asked him something completely different.

"Why did you come back this year?"

Draco looked at her and could see that she was sincere – not just asking him so she can go and tell everyone else the mystery behind his return. He wasn't sure if he should tell her though. He sighed. He supposed it could do some good to talk about it. No one knows about his arrangement except the Wizengamot, McGonagall and his parents. He sat down again while contemplating about what to do.

"Are you hesitant to talk about it?" Hermione inquired. That's what she concluded after the long pause.

"No, not hesitant - it's just that not a lot of people know about this." Draco made his choice – he will tell her, maybe in doing so his healing process can begin. Hermione looked better already than earlier and he envied her for that.

"After the war my parents, together with the rest of the Death Eaters, got sent to Azkaban. However, because I was under age at the time the Wizengamot gave me a choice. Return to Hogwarts and finish my education or get sent to Azkaban with the rest of them. Everyone knows that I don't really have a passion for school but it was still the better choice between the two. The hard part is to stay out of trouble because if I trespass any rules I will get sent straight to Azkaban. And I wouldn't want that. I want no association with the Death Eaters whatsoever." Draco felt a kind of relief after he told Hermione. He never spoke about this before.

Hermione was stunned at Draco's story – she had no idea that he had to make the choice to come back. She processed everything she heard just now. Draco looked expectantly at her and was a bit surprised that she didn't even flinch when he talked about the Death Eaters.

Hermione asked another question. "Aren't the Death Eaters like your family? I mean, you fought together. Why don't you want anything to do with them anymore?"

Draco felt offended by her question. The Death Eaters? Family? Almost all his family members were part of it but he didn't acknowledge them as family anymore. Not after everything that has happened. He stood up and wiped his forehead, trying to shake the offence. He didn't want to lose his temper now.

"I don't regard the Death Eaters as family." That is all he could manage to say.

Hermione immediately knew she upset him but couldn't understand why. She watched him walk up and down in front of the fire for a while. "I am sorry Draco. I didn't mean to upset you."

He kept on walking; now rubbing his eyes. He was extremely tired. "It's fine. You didn't know that it would have an effect on me." He wasn't so upset anymore. He talked further, knowing he would probably regret his decision tomorrow.

"No one knows what I have been through, the hell I suffered through. Living in the same house as the Dark Lord and being at his command the whole time. Living in fear that you might get attacked by Nagini anywhere, anytime. To watch him kill people and let Nagini feed on them…" His voice was just above a whisper.

"And now after all that I have been through my father has the audacity to command me to rebuild our name and status back to grace." He wasn't whispering anymore. He thought about the letter his father sent him two weeks ago. His anger started to bubble underneath the surface again. Hermione could instantly sense the change in his mood. Draco was walking faster now.

"That doesn't sound like a too terrible request," Hermione risked saying.

Draco stopped and turned sharply to her. "Not a terrible request? You don't know the whole story Granger. And you know the type of family we were." Hermione flinched. "My father has no right to ask that of me after everything he has done to me!" Draco was balling both his hands in fists at his side.

Hermione was just about to ask what he meant by everything his father has done to him when the big double doors swung open. McGonagall entered and didn't look too friendly.

"Good afternoon Ms Granger, Mr Malfoy." She nodded in both their directions and immediately continued to speak. "I hope I am not interrupting anything important but I have serious and urgent matters to discuss with you Mr Malfoy." She looked pointedly at Draco. Hermione stood looking between the two of them.

"If you will follow me to my office Mr Malfoy." Draco knew what this was about. The news of Ralph Dawnburry has reached McGonagall and now he will get sent to Azkaban. He sighed and just nodded his head at McGonagall.

"Good day Ms Granger." McGonagall turned and left the office again, waiting for Draco in the hallway. Hermione did not know what just happened. She was sure that confusion was evident on her face.

Draco turned to Hermione. "Excuse me." He half bowed when he said it and started to walk in the door's direction. When he reached them he turned around again, looked Hermione over once and then in the eye. All Hermione could do was look back.

He turned to follow McGonagall then and Hermione could swear she noticed a trace of sadness on his face just before he walked away.

Draco's Diary

September 23rd

I am so tired! These past few days were nothing but extremely challenging and interesting.

Today for instance took a complete turn from what I expected. I learned once again that things aren't always what they seem. Granger and I had a very enlightening conversation about matters concerning the war and our lives. I was about to confess the darkest details of my life to her when McGonagall interrupted. I think I might be grateful for that by tomorrow. Sharing some parts of my life felt so incredible at the time but maybe it wasn't the best idea.

McGonagall interrupted in order to call me to her office to discuss the issue of Ralph Dawnburry. In her office McGonagall told me about the consequences of my actions against Ralph. She sent a copy of my recollections of the event to the Wizengamot. They have the final say in my fate. There is a minute chance that I will be able to stay in school. The Wizengamot will take my behaviour of the whole semester so far into account, as well as a witness' recollection together with Ralph's. I will hear my fate in due time.

I could see Granger Hermione was quite confused by everything that happened. McGonagall suggested that I tell Hermione of the incident and the possible outcomes. I think I might just do that – give her a fair warning. I do hope the Wizengamot decide to give me another chance. I can't go away from here just yet.

A/N: Please be so kind as to review