Return to Memory

Chapter 10: Something Forgotten

By: doctorrosetyler

Disclaimer: I still don't own Doctor Who

The Doctor arrived at his house that evening, grinning from ear to ear. After accepting his proposal to court her, Rose had accompanied him to the TARDIS, where they spent hours just talking. They discussed his past (he made sure to only tell her the parts that she herself created- if he did anything to stimulate her memory prematurely, she could be horribly injured), their adventures, places she wanted to go, and the things they wanted for the future. She was glowingly beautiful that afternoon, with his gift around her neck. It was her happiness, however, that made her radiant.

This woman really was thrilled to be with him. She loved him, and he rejoiced in the fact that she didn't need the memories to love him. She loved him all on her own, and that made him love her even more. He was beginning to look forward to each day with Rose, and not just to those days after she would regain her memory. It didn't matter if she remembered him or not, she would always be the Rose Tyler that he was completely and irrevocably in love with.

Tomorrow, she would move into his home. He would provide her with all of the essentials of life. He would cook for her, buy her clothes, support her hobbies, and everything else she might want or need. They would go on adventures in his TARDIS and after the traditional two months of courtship, he would ask her for her hearts in marriage and her mind in the bonding ceremony.

She had remarked that it all seemed like a fairytale. He had come in and changed her life in the span of only a few days. He agreed with her wholeheartedly, because this was not something that should happen to a war-torn old man like him. He didn't deserve the gift she had given him, and he would certainly never deserve a woman like Rose. She believed him to be the fairy tale. He knew the fairytale was she.

She was the Big Bad Wolf, and he was only a man trapped in a forest. She could destroy him if she wished, but instead her wish was to heal his withered soul and to cradle his hearts lovingly in her hands. He had been called the Oncoming Storm, but he was naught but a breeze in her wake.

He hurried up the stairs to prepare her room. He wouldn't have anything but the best accommodations for her. He chose the room closest to his own, not wanting any more distance between them than was absolutely necessary. He opened the door almost reverently, knowing that tomorrow this room would be home to the woman he loved most. How should he decorate it for her?

His house and the TARDIS, having become fast friends, were both sending him suggestions. He just couldn't seem to decide what to do. Should he decorate it with the ridiculous pink hues she had loved in the past, or should he just leave it with the traditional decorations of Gallifrey? An idea suddenly popped into his head and he sprinted out of her room and into the TARDIS. This was going to take some jiggery pokery.

Rose was excitedly packing her belongings at her mum's house. She couldn't believe that her life had changed so very quickly. One minute she was just a shop girl, and the next she was travelling time and space on her lunch breaks and being courted by a war hero. She reached her hand up to feel the necklace around her neck. It felt warm and there was a gentle and comforting brush against her mind every time she touched it. It was a familiar presence, but it wasn't the Doctor. She wondered what it could be.

She packed her robes in the bag the Doctor had given her. It was dimensionally transcendent, so she would only have to carry one bag when she left tomorrow. She didn't have many belongings to begin with, so it didn't take her long to get everything in order. Her stomach grumbled. The sun was going down outside, and she couldn't help the excitement that bubbled inside her when she thought of what the next sunset would bring. She would be in the same house as her courting partner.

When Rose was done packing, she left her small room to go to the kitchen. Her mum was clattering about making dinner. She felt a small pang of sadness at the thought that this may be the last meal she and her mum shared as they were. This is the way things have been since her dad had passed. She took a moment to savor the last night she would spend with her mum like this. Next time she had dinner at her mum's; she hoped that it would be the night before her wedding.

Her mum looked up from her work and smiled widely at her daughter.

"Oh, sit down sweetheart. I'm just finishing up. It's your favorite!"

Rose smiled at her mum and sat down at the kitchen table. She watched Jackie take the stew off of the stove and ladle it into their bowls. "Thanks, mum."

When her mother looked back up, Rose saw tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Rose, I'm so happy you've found someone. He's going to take wonderful care of you. He loves you already, you know."

She nodded, helping herself to the food placed in front of her. Oh, she loved her mum's stew. It was absolutely her favorite dish. She would have to ask for the recipe so that she could make it for the Doctor.

"I know he loves me, mum. I love him too. It's hard to believe I can love someone so much after such a short time."

Jackie tried her best to agree with that statement. The Doctor had warned her of triggering Rose's memory early. She wanted to remind her daughter that she had been in love with this man for so long, she had been wondering when he would take the next step with her daughter. She wanted to say that she saw the Doctor as a son-in-law, and had for years. But she didn't say any of those things. She simply smiled and took a sip of her stew.

"I'm so proud of you, Rose. Your dad would be, too. He loved you so much."

Rose nodded. "Thanks, mom."

And they ate the rest of their dinner in comfortable silence, savoring this time together.

The morning came, bright and crisp, and Rose greeted it with glee. The breeze through her window woke her with the soft scent of the silver trees and she leapt out of bed, making it carefully. She glanced at the bare shelves and empty walls with a moment of remembrance before hopping into the shower. She used her favorite soaps and lotions before packing them in her bag as well. He would be here soon.

No sooner than she thought this, there was a knock on the front door. She flew to the door, almost knocking her mum over in the process. She flung it open to see the Doctor standing there, beaming at her. In one hand he held a bouquet of beautiful roses and in the other he held a key. She could only stand there and smile as her mum came up behind her.

"What's this, then? You aren't even going to invite him in?" her mum said, with laughter in her voice.

Rose blushed and stepped aside, feeling suddenly shy. Something about today seemed momentous, but she couldn't wrap her mind around it. The key that still hung around her neck warmed slightly. The Doctor glanced down at the key in his hand as he stepped into their living room.

"Jackie, these are for you. I know they won't replace your Rose in your home, but at least it will keep it smelling sweet." He handed her the flowers and Jackie smiled.

"Oh, thank you, sweetheart! I'm just going to go into the kitchen and put these in water."

Rose's mind quirked a bit. Her mum was from Gallifrey. She had never been to Earth, so how would she know what a rose was? She felt like there was something important that she was forgetting…she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

They were alone in the living room now. The tap was running in the kitchen and the Doctor looked at her with a tender expression. He reached up and his eyes turned hopeful.

"May I?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the gentle tugging feeling. It was so foreign to have another person touch her so intimately. She loved that it was him.

"Are you ready, Rose?"

She broke out of her trance to look up at his face. She never tired of those ancient eyes.

"For?"

He grinned. "The beginning of our courtship?"

She nodded; wishing the hand that was still stroking her hair would come forward and brush her cheek. She wanted something solid with this man.

He dropped his hand when Jackie returned. "Where is your bag?" he asked. She led him to her room to get it, but before she could pick it up he got it for her. She blushed.

Jackie gave her a hug at the door, and they were soon walking down the road. It would be a sizeable walk to his (and now her) home. It was out in the furthest stretch from the lower class quarters, up a long and winding path. They spent some of the walk in silence, but most of the time they chatted amicably about various things. Rose asked about Mickey.

It took the Doctor a moment to remember that she was talking about Mickey the Balbox, and not Mickey the Idiot. A pang of sadness hit him at that. He wanted to be able to take her back to places they had been, to see people they had known. They had many friends on hundreds of planets. He hated that he had to avoid some of his favorite planets for fear the sudden return of her memory could hurt her.

"Oh, I let him out of the TARDIS yesterday. He seems to have made good friends with my house. He sits in the shower all the time, though. Wails rather dreadfully. He thinks he's singing." He said, with only slight annoyance at the bird.

Rose laughed. "Oh, and like you don't sing in the shower? It sounds like a pack of wild hyenas dying in there! You would think such a distinguished man would be able to carry a tune!"

"Oi!" he said in annoyance before joining her in laughter. His mind was reeling at her last statement, though. He had never showered on the TARDIS when she was there after her memory was lost. She was remembering things, but she just didn't know it.

Their hands brushed between them as they turned the corner to the winding path to his house. The electric feeling jolted through them both, and the Doctor had to physically hold his own hand from taking hers. They had been constantly touching before, and now the desire to just hold her hand was almost a physical ache.

He would resist these urges. He wanted this second chance to court Rose properly, and he would not compromise her honor by taking Husband's Rights if he was not yet her husband.

Their conversation drifted back to the house he could just barely see at the top of the hill.

"How long have you lived here?" asked Rose, genuine curiosity in her voice.

He searched his given memories. "I've been here for about ten years. After the war ended, I wanted to come back to my home. I fought hard to protect it, and I just wanted to settle down for a few years."

She gazed up at the trees as she replied. "You? Settle down? Mr. 'Let's go to a foreign planet and almost get us killed on the first date' wants to have a stable home?" She teased.

He felt a pang at that. He certainly hadn't meant for that to go as it had, but it had all sorted itself in the end. He doubted Rose would have been as impressed if he had only taken her to a chippy to make awkward conversation for an hour before returning her home. He turned his eyes to meet hers, and with his heart in his throat, he said "With the right woman, I would remain stationary and domestic for the rest of my life."

She felt her breath hitch at the intensity in his eyes and knew that he was most certainly not lying to her. Could that woman, perhaps, be her?

Her right hand itched and felt empty. She still didn't quite know why.

That was a lie. She knew exactly why. Her lips tingled for the same reason.

The house was coming into her view and Rose couldn't help but gasp at the beauty of it. The bright colors, the silver vines, the lush garden in the front all brought to her a feeling of warmth and security. This would be her home. She felt the same warmth in her mind as she did when she touched the necklace.

As they approached the door, the Doctor stopped her with a gentle touch to her back. The spark from the contact carried through her clothes and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin. She turned to him and then looked down.

He was holding out his hand, and in it was the key he had been carrying.

"This is yours. Because this is your home now, you deserve the key." He smiled gently and she took the key from his hand. Again their skin brushed and her breath hitched. Wordlessly, she turned to the door and slid the key into the lock. It turned easily and she pulled the large, wooden door.

Her first step into the house brought a wave of nostalgia. The hues of gold and orange throughout the entryway felt like the entrance to the TARDIS, and she couldn't help but feel like she was finally home. She felt a gentle brush against her mind and knew it was the house and the TARDIS speaking to her. The blue ship must be somewhere in the house, she thought to herself.

"Welcome to your new home" his voice said. It startled her slightly, so enthralled was she with the house.

She looked back at him and couldn't quite read his expression. "Care to give me the tour?" she asked, her tongue unconsciously poking out between her teeth.

He grinned and closed the door behind them, sweeping her out into the living room. As she took in the view out the windows, she heard an energetic squawk. Mickey the Balbox flew excitedly into the room and landed on the sofa in front of her, his newly-grown feathers glistening in the morning light.

"Hi, Mickey!" she said, reaching out to gently pet his head. He closed his golden eyes and made a contented sound in his throat. She felt the Doctor come up behind her.

"Oh, yes, lovely Mickey-boy!" he chuckled deep in his throat for reasons Rose still did not understand; "He's looking rather good, isn't he?"

She remembered the state they had found him in only a short time ago, and her heart warmed at the memory of the Doctor caring for him simply because she asked him to. "He is. How did he heal so fast?"

She almost regretted asking the question when he drew a deep breath. Oh no, she thought. Here goes a mile-long explanation. "Weeelll, you see he was in the TARDIS…" she tried to listen, she really did. She sort of tuned him out when she caught sight of the kitchen.

As he rambled on, she began to explore the vast room. The countertops were a deep black and all of the appliances were the same color as the TARDIS console. The cabinets were all a chocolate wood color and one wall was made completely of glass with a view of the glowing citadel. The room spoke of riches beyond anything she could dream. Was this really going to be her home?

She felt a brief wash of fear, and it was like a bucket of cold water was dumped on her head. She grew up in a small house. She was a shop girl of the lower class. Her robes, though nicer than some, were rags to the people the Doctor should be associating with. She couldn't fit in here. She didn't deserve to be his courting partner. Her hand drifted up to the necklace around her neck, the one that sparkled with unearthly beauty. His gift was fit for a queen, and he had given it to a peasant. Tears came to her eyes. Soon he would realize that and take her home.

Still in a rather epic ramble, the Doctor came up beside her and gestured excitedly at the landscape before turning to her. At the sight of the tears in her eyes, his words faltered and died. His hearts jumped into overdrive, his mind racing. Had she changed her mind? Did she not want to be with him anymore? He had just been in heaven, everything was going well, he was going to get her back. Her memories were going to return and he was going to marry her and they were going to live happily ever after. Did she no longer want that?

"Rose…what's wrong?" He wanted to take her hand, brush her cheek, hold her in his arms, but he could do none of those things. She turned to him with a defeated expression he had never before seen on her face.

"I'm not…I don't belong here." She said softly, and his hearts dropped. He stepped forward, feeling his dreams leaving him.

"What are you talking about, of course you do!" He shouted, desperate to fix whatever he had done to push her away. He reached up to touch her hair, the only thing he could honorably to do solidify a connection he was terrified to lose.

She backed away from his touch, and he couldn't breathe.

"No, Doctor. I'm…I'm a shop girl. I won't fit in to your world. This is too much like a fairy tale to be real." Her eyes turned to the window. How could she be so foolish to follow along with this?

"Rose, you're wrong. You deserve everything I have and more. Please, don't do this." His desperate words were all he had to keep her here, and they didn't feel nearly as powerful as he needed them to be.

She looked back at him, and he could see that she definitely loved him still. She was hurting horribly and he didn't know how to fix it, what he had done to suddenly warrant this sort of reaction from her. "I'm only...me. Everything I own is in that suitcase, and everything I'll ever be is right here. Your friends, the people at your workplace, they will all see that the moment they look at me. What makes me different? Why do you want me?"

There were words he wanted to say. He wanted to say that he wanted her because she was Rose, because she took in all of time to save his life and then gave everything to make him happy. He wanted to say that it was he that did not deserve her, and he would do his best to deserve her every second of every day. He wanted to grab her hand and forget it all, tell her to run. He couldn't do that. She wouldn't remember the day she gave her life for his, the day he let a reaper devour him to protect her, the countless adventures they had shared, or that one beautiful kiss at the temple. She didn't understand why he seemed to love her so fiercely, when she had only just met him.

He tried one more time to run his fingers through her hair, and this time she let him. She looked at him after a moment, and her eyes widened at the tears making silent tracks down his face. "Rose, you belong with me. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll get a smaller house; I'll quit my job, but please give it a chance. Give me a chance to prove to you that we belong together. I don't want you for things or for my friends to like you. I want you because you can only be you. I want you because you are Rose. You took my breath away the moment I saw you and I'm still struggling for air."

Rose's hearts were beating out of her chest at his words. His eyes were sincere and his hand in her hair was strong and desperate. She blinked.

Burning, burning, and fire. Everything cloaked in black smoke. A lone man stands, his faces change but her name passes his lips all the same. She awakes.

The vision snapped away, and she couldn't remember ever having a dream like the one in the memory just passing her mind. But she knew the man was the Doctor, and she couldn't let him go. Perhaps he truly wanted her because he loved her. Perhaps she was all he wanted. He was certainly all she wanted.

Tears still falling down her face, she nodded. Relief poured out of him in a long sigh, and before she knew it she was pressed against him in a desperate hug. She returned the embrace just as desperately, forgetting how inappropriate it was. His breath against her hair was still stuttering, his hearts beating quickly. She felt warm with him around her, and felt a calm reassurance from his embrace. He would never hurt her.

In a few moments, he remembered himself and pulled back, embarrassed at his horrendously inappropriate behavior. She wiped her tears from her face and gave him a small smile, which made him grin with that touch of manic that made her hearts pound.

"So, Doctor. Where's my room?"

His relieved laugh made her smile wider, and he jumped excitedly.

"Upstairs, my dear. Allons-y!"

A/N: I am SO, SO, SORRY for the long time it took me to update this! My senior year of college is trying to eat me alive and the Christmas Break has been nonstop as well. I haven't forgotten about this fic, and I'm going to do my best to update more often! Thank you to all my loyal readers and reviewers for being so very patient as I attempt my first full-length fic. I've been writing on this site for just over a year and it means so much to me that all of you still read and review my work! I hope you had a Merry Christmas and may your New Year be filled with joy! (and Billie Piper returning to Doctor Who…(sob)…I miss her…)

With Love,

doctorrosetyler