So new chapter, I was really surprised by all your reviews. I know some of you really didn't like the turn of events in Haley's relationships. With her being with Derek and all.

For those of you who were slightly confused about why Haley had such a trouble with talking about Taylor and the aspirin incident, there's an explaination for that in this chapter as Nathan and Haley have their first meeting since college.

Enjoy!

Chapter 10. Now It's just tears slipping through the cracks tonight.

"Is that an ultimatum?" Haley sat up in bed staring straight into her mans eyes. She rose from the bed and grabbed her robe from a nearby chair. "Because, I'm pretty sure you know me better than to do that."

"It is. Because I hope you'll finally see what your lies what caused us. That fact that the lies you tell have brought us here." Haley was speechless. She hadn't told anyone, who wasn't there when it happened what happened. And everybody who did know, knew not to tell the people who didn't.

The truth was that she could get the words out, open that door. It was too painful. That had been the worst summer of her life. The crushing pain of losing Nathan and almost dying while she had no control over any of it, had left scars the size of swords. Big, deep, uneven cuts, the kind that heal very slow, that result in big ugly scars.

She wrapped her robe around her tightly and left the bedroom. The rushed down the steep flight of stairs in the their living kitchen at the back of their home. She flipped on the lights and put the tea kettle on the stove.

Her kitchen was her sanctuary. From here she built her daycare. It was big and had a country like style, lots of light came in through the back window during the day. She sat down on one of the stool at the breakfast nook, when Derek followed, stumbling into the kitchen. "are you actually going to speak, or are you going to make this go away with your passive aggressiveness?" Derek sat across from her. "Well, You really are gonna fill this night with sipping tea, not saying a word?"

Haley got up to pour herself some tea as the kettle whistled. 'I don't understand why you find this so important." Haley spoke composed. With her cup in her hands she returned to her seat. "You realized that what you consider so trivial for our relationship is what I consider irrelevant. I can't talk about it." Haley's voice shook and her sight blurred up for a moment. "It hurts. I loved my sister and she hurt me. Almost ruined me. And I swore I never wanted to see her again and we've kept to that ever since. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. But it also has nothing to do with us. I never told you about her or ever will, because I can't go there. And It's not any of your business." She spoke still calmly.

Derek chuckled coldly. "It's all a nice sob story and yet you are willing to end our relationship, for this secret. Why is it that you won't tell me the truth."

Haley hung her head sipping her tea. "I can't. I wish you understood that I can't. I'm not doing this to spite you.. or because I don't trust you, because I do! I just wish you could see that it is not relevant."

"If this is so big you can't tell me than I don't know you. This is obviously such a big part of you, that you refuse to share with me! I suggest you tell me what it is, because I'm sure it isn't worth losing me over." He yelled, slamming his fists onto the surface.

"I can't!"

"or are you just waiting for an excuse to leave me. Go back to Nathan? I mean that's what you have always wanted right. For Nathan to want you, truly want you? Even though you've been going back and forth for years since high school you've never really been together, not since your were 16 right?"

Haley abruptly pushed the cup way, throwing it over in the process. "What! You think I wanted to dig into this! I love you. I've been trying to ask you to drop this and I have given up on Nathan a long time ago. So I don't understand why we are having this conversation. Frankly I'm tired. Of this. Of it following me. Of Nathan following me. I am tired." She got up and left the kitchen went up stairs and slipped into her bed. If Derek came to at all she didn't know. She'd fallen asleep right away.

When she woke up the following morning, the bed was empty anyway. When she came down stairs the kitchen was empty as well. She turned her eyes to the note that had been left on the table, the paper crumbled and scribbled on in a harsh frustrated manner, leaving a dent in the sheet beneath it.

"Left for work early, have a 48 hours shift to think about where this leaves us, I suggest you do the same. In case you already made up your mind, you can find your boyfriend at the Townsquare Hotel.

- Derek"

Haley stared at the piece of paper. There was a sense of dread in the last sentence, for the both of them. Because he wasn't sending her away, nor pleading for her not to go see him. But more like a notion that she had to face him to figure out where they stood with their engagement. They both knew Nathan was essential in figuring this out. After all he was the one to light the gas.

Haley hurried back upstairs to get dress, all dressed she dashed down the stairs grabbed her purse and keys on her way out and headed for the Hotel. She needed to face Nathan. She had come too far not to proceed. She wouldn't let Nathan ruin her life again. He had done that over and over again.

She pulled up the hotel twenty minutes later and went inside. She walked up to the lady at the desk, wearing what looked like rather rumpled clothes, like she'd been their all night and her night had been rough.

"I'm looking for Mr. Scott. Can you tell me what room he is in?" The woman looked up from her computer and nodded. "You are Haley James?" Confused Haley nodded. "He's expecting you."

The woman gave her the room number, unaware of Haley mood switch. She didn't bother the mutter a thanks to the woman, as she stormed off to the elevators. She was infuriated with the fact that Nathan 'was expecting her'

The smug son of a bitch, was expecting her. Probably all riled up, after all that how he loved getting her, knowing he'd caused big trouble in her relationship. What she couldn't wrap her mind around however was why? Why now? After 8 years?

She sighed. As the elevator bell rang, to indicate their arrival at the top floor Haley got off. She took three deep breath in attempt to calm herself down. She was going to surprise him with calm timid Haley. She wouldn't let him get under her skin not this time. She was done playing games.

She wanted him to leave Seattle and let her live her life.

She knock composed on his door in the most gentle manner. Waiting to the door the open she trying to keep her hands still and not fumble to much with them. She wasn't nervous of seeing him again.

When the door swung open it revealed a half dressed Nathan, only wearing a towel. "Hales!" He cheered. "good morning Nathan. How nice of you to invite me over through my fiancé. You could have just emailed me." She said nicely and calmly

"It's good to see you Hales." He spoke when he picked up on her composed demeanour.

"I wish I could say the same of you, but your little stunt from last night has Derek staggering. I can only assume that was the aim so... What is it that you came here for."

Nathan was a little taken aback by the calm exterior. He'd expected her to be infuriated. Now that she'd come straight to the point it took him a minute to recover and then plead his case with her.

He pulled the towel off unashamed, in her presence, while she didn't bother to look away. She knew Nathan that way better than anyone. His nude form walked over to his suitcase and pulled out a pair of boxershorts.

"I've loved you since I was 16 years old, Haley. I was ready to marry you when I was 17 and I screwed that up." He began and sighed before continuing.

"I've never stopped loving you though. I remember having finally given into Peyton's excessive complaining and having asked her out during Christmas break, when I found your note in my mailbox..." He bent down over his suitcase and pulled out this little card. "...I had been hoping for you to say these words for so long. But they never came and when they finally came they only had me confused Hales. You waited two weeks before sending me this, two weeks after I wrote you the last note. I thought it was some twisted kind of good bye. Saying you'd miss me." Haley turned around. She found it hard dealing with all those feeling from years ago. Though most of it was as clear in her mind as yesterday was, the feelings she'd tried, again and again to bury them deep.

"I wasn't saying I would miss you Nathan! I was saying I missed you and I didn't realize I did until that last note hit my doormat. Only minutes before Brooke screamed at me, for being stubborn. Saying how I should forgive you because you weren't going to hang on much longer and I was going to regret it when you stopped. I told her she was crazy. That I was DONE and two minutes later that card landed on my door mat. And all that was out the window! Because I lo-" Haley stopped talking. She had unleashed those feelings and now she had no hold on them whatsoever.

She didn't dare to look up at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest and breath was ragged.

"You came to Duke to get me back, didn't you? You messed with me and Peyton and I was mad at you for ruining to little bit of normal life I had after you. I hated you for that, that and for ruining me for any other woman!"

Haley sat down on the bed. She knew I was way over due that they talked about all of it. But she was scared, everything had settled a deep sense of uncertainty about herself inside of her.

"You proposed to me and then you left me when you thought I was pregnant? You came running back when you heard to truth but you went to visit HER. And yet after all that you end up hating me? You said that last outing of our Love was a mistake,. You ruined something that was so precious between us and called it a mistake. Making me feel, again, like I was a no good slut. WHY was I the victim of your bad decisions?"

Nathan opened his mouth to answer her question but nothing came out. When emotional he had always been a little erratic.

"Right.. Why are you here Nathan? Why are you again dragging up all of this. I'm finally Happy. You really hate me this much?"

Nathan got up and rushed over to her. "No, Hales. The exact opposite! I love you! We love each other, I'm here to make you see that. I realised that when I heard Brooke say you didn't tell Derek about to aspirin. "

Haley pushed him away. "I don't love you! I haven't for a really long time. Because all you've done in the last ten years is hurt me Nathan!"

Nathan pulled her by her arm forcing her to face him. "If that is so, than why haven't you told Doctor Perfect the reason you don't speak about or to Taylor?"

"Don't you dare say her name!" Haley hissed. 'Why do you still Hate Taylor after ten years Haley!"

Haley pulled her arm out of his grasp and crossed the room grabbing her purse and making a beeline for the door. "Haley stop running! Face it!"

"No! I'm leaving I'm going to try and fix my relationship you so conveniently ruined. Like you ruin everything in my life that you touch!"

"I didn't ruin everything Haley. You are scared! You push me away, because you are scared and you do love me. Otherwise you would have told love boy the truth by now."

Haley stopped dead in her tracks. "the only reason you Hate Taylor so much is because you hold her responsible for breaking us up. And we both know that it you told lover boy what happened ten years ago, he'd see that too."

Haley slowly turned around. "I hate her because she almost killed me, while eliminating everyone who could have noticed I was slowly dying! I could have been dead Nathan. My own sister tried to kill me. Ruined my life and then went on with her own!"

Nathan sighed and turned away. "Do you even hear what you're saying Haley?" he mused staring out the window. 'We were in love, she came along and slowly all that fell apart. We fell apart. She ruined our life. That 's exactly what I've been telling you. You hate her, because you still love me. The day you stop loving me is the day you will stop hating your sister and tell Derek the truth."

Nathan sighed. He never really realized what that summer had been like for Haley. Until today. When she walked in here, calm and composed as she was he realized it. He recognised to look on her face. The summer had been hell for her and the months that followed hadn't been much better. When he didn't hear Haley reply he looked around expecting to find, she'd left. But instead he found her sitting on the floor against the door. Her head in her hands and softly sobbing.

He went to sit next to her, without saying a word. She slowly leaned her head against his shoulder. "I can't forgive her Nathan. I tried. I've stood on her doorstep ready to knock on her door to tell her I forgive her. But I can't. I don't . I hate her." She quietly sobbed on his shoulder.

"She took everything we built Nathan. She took everything." Nathan wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry, for all the mistakes I've made and for all the pain they caused you. Sometimes I still fantasise about you in that shower. I never regretted that. I only regret telling you it was a mistake. None of our moment together have been a mistake Haley. I love you." He closed his eyes and hugged her close, sniffing the sweet scent of her hair as he buried his face in it.

Haley looked up from where her head leaned on his shoulder, her teary eyes looked up at Nathan surprised at his words. Was it actually possible for him to still love her after all that time. The idea that there was this guy that still loved her after all they had been through. Loved her so much.

Looking back she was drawing back in her memories; That day in her dorm when they put together that bookcase. The flash of vulnerability and love they had that had cracked between them for a moment. The day Taylor came to town and she cried underneath a cold shower. When Nathan found her and held her till Taylor left. comforting her, telling her everything would be better. The day when they moved in together and Dan had yelled at her for being a slut and misleading his son and then got the same speech from Deb. She had sat in their living room crying tears blurring her vision just like now, until Nathan was there wrapping his arms around her and Leaning down to kiss her. Kissing all the pain away.

Haley ran her tongue over Nathan's bottom lip slipping her tongue inside his mouth. Her hands cupping his face. He tongue wandering through his mouth, seeking out all the familiar corners of his mouth. Tasting the love she'd always had in the past as he kissed her. Nathan's hands wandered up over her sides pulling her closer. Their lips slanting over each other, their tongues still battling for dominance, Haley hands wandering into his hair, her fingers knotting the thick black hair. She gripped it tightly wanting him closer, as close as she'd had him all those times before when she needed him. Cupping the back of his head she pulled his head down with her own and she lay down on her back on the floor.

His hands wandered up and down over her sides, slipping underneath her top and running his thumbs over the smooth skin of her tummy. While massaging her tongue with his own.

He reached the clasp of her bra, and didn't think of asking. They were way passed the point of asking each other for permission. There were no longer boundaries, they were in love.

They broke their kiss and Haley lifted her arms above her head letting Nathan free her from her top. Nathan's hands returned to her waist and moved smoothly down to her hips and the button of her jeans. He kissed her neck as she turned her head back. He sucked and kissed and licked her neck, getting high on her moans and whimpers.

Her nibbled on her skin, down her neck to her collarbone to her breast, licking the sensitive skin and grazing her nipple with his teeth.

High pitched moans filled the room, making Nathan grow harder and harder in the pair of boxershorts he'd slip on when she'd come in. He popped the button of her jeans and slid them off her legs. He ran his hands back of her smooth legs dipping them to the inside of her thighs and brushing his thumb briefly over her centre.

"Ahhh..." Haley moaned buckling her hips up at him. Her hands wandered over his broad muscled back, clinging to him. Brushing her chest up at him seeking much wanted friction and buckling her hips into his hand.

She moved her hands over the tough muscles down his back, slipping them into the shorts to feel his tight, taught ass move into her hands. She squeezed his ass, digging her nails into it, urging it to seek that friction with her wet centre.

Feeling her nails dig into his behind and her hips buckle up, he made quick work of losing his boxers.

He detached his lips from her and pulled her up to her feet. Pulling her back into a deep kiss he walked them back to his bed and laying her down on it he covered her petite figure with own, and thrust into her, eliciting a strangled moan from Haley and he groaned as he was finally home.

So what do you think Is gonna happen? How I Haley gonna cope with the consequences of sleeping with nthan? Is she gonna pull a move like nathan in the shower? or is she gonna be a grown up about it and face up to the fact that she is in Love with nathan and that she can't keep hiding. That she doesn't have to.

What do you think? What would you like to see happen? Let me know!

- Philine