A long time ago (last year, I think) I wrote this, inspired in F91/00-Raiser's "Suffering in Silence", taking place immediatly after, so if you have yet to read it, then go now. ^^

Red

There's no God in this world. Or in any other. I know that now.

I did nothing of the sort after that afternoon in the park. I didn't reveal my feelings anymore for her.

You know, it's a weird feeling. I'm half happy that Nanoha was so dense to my real feelings that my confession flew right over her, and I'm half sad that I didn't have the courage to confess again.

I know. I'm a fool. And here am I, her maid of honor, watching the love of my life walking down the aisle.

She was the picture of an angel.

Her hair tied beautifully, braided in a skillfully made pattern.

Her gown, a pure white like the clouds she loves so much.

The bouquet, that both of us picked together. Ironically, she picked lilies.

She walked sluggishly to the altar, so everyone in the room could burn her beauty into their memories.

After she got to the altar, I couldn't help but to shed a few tears.

They weren't tears of joy, like the ones most of the people were letting out.

They were true tears of sorrow, but I smiled despite myself.

I watched as they both exchanged rings.

I hurt as they shared the 'I do's.'

I almost collapsed when I saw them kiss.

I don't even remember if I congratulated them, nor if I threw the rice as they walked out of the church.

As if to please me, the hellish ceremony was over, and Bardiche was calling for my attention.

An urgent mission was calling all off-duty operatives to the field.

A war or something had broken out somewhere.

They weren't telling me specifically that I needed to go there.

But for me, that was the escape route I was waiting for.

She almost said that she too would go, before her new husband and I convinced her that I was more than enough to handle it.

This time I did congratulate them, and wished them happiness. It wasn't from the bottom of my heart, but that was all I could manage at the moment.

I would truly wish them happiness if, at the moment, their happiness wasn't crippling mine.

It was selfish of me, I know.

The mission itself was a blur for me.

One moment I was in front of the church, and the other I was already in front of a legion of barely clothed rebels.

I took all my repressed feelings and charged at them.

Most of them didn't even know what happened.

Some of them were shocked in fear, calling me of yet another nickname.

Lighting Demon.

It would have stuck if I had really single handendly destroyed their fronts.

But I didn't.

My mind was waving back to the scenes that happened just a few hours before.

The aisle. The gown. The bouquet. The words. The kiss.

I almost didn't noticed the stingy feeling in my abdomen, nor did it register in my mind when the red liquid flowed from my mouth.

The whole battlefield was painted scarlet.

The white dress of my angel was all I could actually see.

The angel was all I wanted to see for the rest of my existence.

A/N: I hardly ever do this, but everytime I try to write (key word being try) angst, it turns into this kind of thing.