Hey...
I won't waste your time. See list of excuses below and pick your favorite.
The next day Edd left for work while Kevin was at the gym. He left behind a sticky note saying that he would be going to the library that evening to research some information and that Kevin should eat without him. Kevin grumbled as he pulled the note from the wall and crumpled it in his hand.
A second note was underneath reminding him to stay inside and not cause problems.
Just who the hell did the dork think he was ordering him around like that?! Kevin was an adult, he could go do whatever he pleased. Well, sort of. He was currently trapped in the body of a small nerd who could barely run. That, and any friend group he would normally hang out with during his days off would not recognize him. He was seriously limited to what he could do during the day.
But still! Kevin was an adult and he could do what he wanted.
Yesterday he had simply stayed home and watched TV. He found an old video game console and set that up to play some really old version of Mario Brothers, but other than going to the gym that morning he hadn't left the house. Just as Edd had instructed.
Today was going to be different.
Kevin quickly got ready for the day, then checked the bus schedule so he could head downtown. It seriously blowed that Edd didn't have a car or anything. How did the dork deal with getting around on public transit all the time? Especially when he knew how to ride. Once Kevin got a taste of what it was like to be that free on the road, he couldn't give it up. He wouldn't give it up; not for the whole world. However, wishing wasn't going to manifest a car for him to drive, so the bus was going to have to do.
It took nearly an hour to make the 20 minute drive downtown. Kevin jogged off the bus and sighed in relief as he looked around. He hadn't really planned on doing anything specific once he arrived. He just knew that if Edd wanted him to stay in the house and "avoid causing additional trouble" he was going to do everything in his power to ignore him.
He started with grabbing breakfast at the local diner. He chowed down on overly salty bacon, an omelette with all the fixings, and hashbrowns. Edd's stomach protested all of the food, but Kevin was determined to be himself for a day, even if this body said otherwise. Maybe he was just being petty, but if Edd was going to be a jerk, he was going to be a jerk too. He flirted with his waitress, but she just rolled her eyes and asked if his parents knew he was out on his own.
Edd's stupid baby face is ruining my mojo.
His next stop was at the video game store. There was a new FPS game out that he wanted to pick up. Luckily he had reserved his copy and paid ahead of time. Kevin didn't have enough cash to buy the game and do anything else that day. He might be rebelling against Edd's wishes, but he didn't think it would be a good idea to try and use the dork's credit card. It would definitely be the weirdest case of identity theft the police had ever heard of.
It was only about noon by the time he left the game store, so he headed to the movies. He grumbled about Edd's baby face again when the guy at the ticket counter insisted that he needed to see an ID before he could purchase the ticket to the new R rated slasher horror movie.
One awkward sex scene, six bloody murders, and a cheesy 'oh no the monster isn't dead' cliffhanger ending later, Kevin left the theater and found a bench out front to relax on. His anger at his neighbor had dissipated considerably over the last several hours. Now he was just concerned again.
Sure, Edd had been a real ass yesterday. He had blatantly ignored him, and then continued to hide information from him about whatever had happened that day. However, something must have seriously rattled the poor guy to have him acting as spacey as he was. Edd was always so calm and collected. Even when they were younger and Eddy's scams would fail horribly, Edd would usually keep a level enough head to find some sort of solution to their problems. Logical and kind hearted; Edd didn't have it in him to be mean on purpose, so what had him acting the way he did?
Then there was the issue with Edd's ex. Edd said he trusted this guy to help fix them, and then turned around and said he wasn't sure how he would act given the friendship between Edd and himself. Jealousy could be a real bitch to deal with, but was this dude such a prick that he would leave Edd completely stranded as someone else for the rest of his life? What reason did this guy have to be jealous in the first place? He and Edd weren't that close. Closer than they had been before the start of summer, but switching bodies had that sort of effect on people. Was his ex just the kind of person who wouldn't give up on a past lover just because? The genius hadn't mentioned why the two of them had broken up, but Kevin got the impression that is was apparently a one-sided decision.
The whole situation gave Kevin a headache.
He leaned back on the bench and stared at the sky. The movie hadn't been that long, so it was still fairly early in the afternoon. He had a few more hours until Edd would be off work, and then who knows how many hours after that since Edd would be at the library for most of the evening. Probably long enough to completely dodge seeing him. Kevin was sure Edd didn't want to have a repeat of last night's conversation. It wouldn't surprise him if the dork stayed out all night to avoid him.
"Double D!"
Kevin found himself being pulled off the bench by his arm and gripped tightly by someone. He was spun in circles before being plopped roughly back on his feet. Kevin shook his head to get his vision back to normal before looking at his assaulter.
Ed, and behind him stood Eddy.
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!
"Where ya been Sockhead? We've been calling you. We both got the day off and wanted to hangout," Eddy said.
Kevin tried his best not to look like he was panicking, but it was really difficult since he felt like was about to have a heart attack. He just stared at the two Eds and didn't say anything.
Eddy raised an eyebrow, "Yo! Earth to Brainiac! What's wrong with you?"
You have to say something Kevin! Dammit, why didn't Edd prepare me for talking to these guys!
"I-I...uhh…I left my phone at home since I was going to a movie." Kevin avoided eye contact with the other two. He and Edd hadn't exchanged phones since Edd needed to be able to contact his ex. Edd probably didn't have any idea that he had missed calls from these two. His phone would probably be in the locker at work so it didn't get damaged in the shop.
"Pssh. You could have just put it on silent. You didn't have to leave it at home." Eddy rolled his eyes, "Anyway, Lumpy and I were gonna go see that new horror movie. Wanna come?"
"Oh. I...uhh...already saw it. That's why I'm here." Kevin looked sheepishly at the ground. This was not how the day was supposed to go. These two were going to suspect something.
"You watched it without us, Double D?!" Ed pouted.
"Yeah! What the hell, Sockhead?"
Kevin shifted uncomfortably, "I...needed a break from my project, so I decided to watch a movie."
That's a good excuse. Right?
"And you didn't think to call us first?"
"Well, normally you are working so I didn't think to…"
"Some friend you are." Eddy scoffed, "Well, since you've already seen it, let's go back to my place and chill. I've got that new video game that just came out."
No. Bad idea. Such a bad idea.
Kevin shook his head and backed away from the two, "I-I should really get back to work on my project."
Eddy groaned, "Just do it later! You've got the whole freakin' summer to finish that stupid thing."
The twisting feeling in Kevin's stomach just kept getting more intense the longer the conversation went on. Edd had mentioned that he might have to hangout with these two, but the earliest was supposed to be Friday night! He was seriously starting to regret rebelling against Edd's wishes. If he hadn't been so angry and impulsive and just stayed home like he was told to, none of this would be happening.
Damn that stupid dork for being right.
He found himself in a waking nightmare. Ed had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to Eddy's car. Eddy had bought the car from his dad's dealership before freshman year of college. The car itself wasn't fancy, just a Ford Taurus, but Eddy did his best to add some style to it. There was a set of fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror and equally fuzzy covers over the front seats. The front dash was littered with knickknacks and fast food wrappers. The back was similarly covered.
Kevin was sure that if Double D had gotten into the car his OCD would kick in immediately and he would reprimand Eddy for the state of his vehicle, but Kevin couldn't bring himself to care. He was too panicked about being trapped with Dorky and Dorkier. He tuned out the rambling conversation that the other two were having in the front seat and tried to concentrate on figuring out a way out of this mess. Part of him contemplated just jumping from the car. If he was himself he'd probably survive. Edd's tiny body however…
He grumbled lowly in his throat realizing he was actually going to have to spend an evening doing whatever it was that the three Ed's normally did together when they hangout. Once upon a time he might have assumed that Eddy would try to drag them into some strange money making scheme and they'd be tricking their neighbors into buying cheap junk, but now? Now, he wasn't sure what to expect. All he knew was he was going to need to find some excuse to get away from these two for just a minute so he could call Edd and hope the genius had a brilliant plan to help him escape.
"Yo! Sockhead! Why're you so spacey today? We're here." Eddy yelled as he slammed the door shut and sauntered towards the door to his house.
Kevin scrambled out of the car and glanced longingly at the safety of Edd's house just down the street. He kept his head down as he followed the other two into the house. He'd never been in Eddy's house before; he did his best to avoid situations that would require him to go inside. It really was just a normal home, not too unlike his own. Furniture that looked worn, but not in horrible condition. The kitchen had a few dishes stacked next to the sink. Family photos and decorations lined the hallway. All normal.
Eddy's room looked very much like his car. There was an extremely dusty disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Shag carpets and neon colored paintings were placed randomly around the room. The furniture, minus the dresser, was centered around the TV, so that whatever seating arrangement guests decided to take there would be a good view of the screen.
Breathe Kevin. Say something that sounds reasonably intelligent and excuse yourself to make a phone call.
"Are you ready for the movie Double D?!" Ed shouted despite being right next to him.
Kevin flinched away, "Uh sur-I mean, yes, I am. I just need to make a quick phone call." Eddy quirked a brow at him. "I won't be but a moment." Kevin smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring and Double Dork-like manner.
"Whatever, just hurry back."
Oh thank God!
"I shall."
Kevin hurried out of the room and hid in the kitchen. He dialed the number for the shop and prayed that Edd wasn't in the middle of anything so serious that Cory would be willing to let him answer the phone.
The line clicked as the ringing stopped, "Cory's Machine Shop. Cory speaking, how may I help you?"
Kevin couldn't help but grin, he always liked Cory. He was a giant nerd at heart, but kept it hidden under his tough guy, mechanic exterior. "Hi, could I speak to E-Kevin please?"
"He's in the shop at the moment. Is this about a car he worked on?"
"No, this is a friend of his. I just need to speak with him real quick. It's kinda important."
"Just a minute." The line crackled for a second, "Who's calling?"
Kevin thought for a second. If he said Kevin, that would be a little odd. Edd probably wouldn't know if it was him, or some other Kevin that was calling. The dork was always one to overthink stupid stuff like that. The same went for saying Edd. He knew he didn't know any other Edd's, except the three he grew up with. That's not complicated at all. There was no way to know that Double D didn't know that... Oh! Double D!
"Tell him Double D, he'll know who I am."
There was a slight pause before Cory mumbled something unintelligible and the line went to hold music. Kevin drummed his fingers against his leg as he waited and hoped that Edd would know this was important.
"Hello?" Kevin heard his own voice through the line. Still weird.
"Edd." He hissed into the phone, "Your friends found me and dragged me to Eddy's house for a movie. What the hell do I do?"
"Found you? What does that mean?"
Kevin rolled his eyes, "That's not important!" Well it probably was, but he wasn't going to tell Edd that he deliberately ignored his order to stay home and went wandering around town. "The important thing is they won't let me leave and I don't know how to be you! So find a way to get me out of here."
"Right." Edd hummed into the phone for a second, "Well you'll probably be watching a movie, so there won't be much of a reason to converse. Simply nod at anything Eddy says and tell them to stop arguing because it's childish. That will cover the majority of any conversations."
"What?! I'm not staying here! Find a way to get me out of this!"
"This was going to happen at some point. It would be for the best to simply get it out of the way. As we are stuck as each other for the foreseeable future, I suggest you make do."
Since when is the dork such an ass?!
"Edd I swear when I am myself again I am going to give you such a pounding!"
Edd chuckled into the phone for a second, "Oh that sounds lovely. Do let me know when that will be happening? I like to be prepared before I get pounded."
Kevin's eyes widened in horror as he blushed from head to toe. The dork was at it again! What the hell?! "I-I-I…"
"Ah. Ah. Ah. Use your words." Edd teased quietly, "You were so eloquent just now, I know you can express yourself better than that."
"I-I...Sh-shut up, Dork!"
"If you insist. I must be getting back to work anyway. Have a wonderful evening, Double D." The line went dead.
Kevin was shaking with shock and nerves. Edd was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. He took a deep breath and exhaled as slowly as he possibly could. His fate for the evening was pretty much sealed, he'd have to act his part just as Edd had to the day before. Part of him had secretly hoped that the genius would have them fixed before it came to that. He sighed and hid his phone. At least Edd seemed to be returning to normal if he was being a sassy flirt. Kevin figured that was a small win for the day.
So here's my reasons:
1: Remember how I said last chapter that it was my birthday soon? That took up way more of my free time than I thought it would. I had a party one weekend. I went out of town another weekend. I went to a concert a third weekend. I was a busy social butterfly.
2: My work had an issue come up that required me to work 12 hour days for a while. So I my schedule for weekdays was pretty much wake up, work, eat, pass out. I was still writing a little bit when I could, but I really only had the energy for maybe a paragraph before I went to bed. That awfulness should end this week, so here's hoping I get back to biweekly updating.
3: Writing Kevin is HARD. I knew I needed to get a few chapters of the jock, but I relate so much more to Edd than I do Kevin. I was kind of the nerdy know-it-all in high school, and I don't do sports. Or cars. Or working out. Pretty much everything that I made Kevin into for this story. Love him anyway, but I was struggling with his dialog and mannerisms for this chapter.
I hope one of those is fair enough for why it took me so long to get this to you guys. I am so terribly sorry.
I had fun with this chapter though. I know I have things in here that don't necessarily make sense. Like Eddy and Ed getting mad at "Edd" for seeing the movie without them when they were going to go without him, but I picture Eddy being that kind of person. Also I think they are kind of oblivious which is why they didn't think to mention anything about "Edd" suddenly having a phone when supposedly left his at home earlier. It's little things like that that make up Ed and Eddy in my mind. Very spur of the moment and not the best at retaining information haha.
More soon. Promise.
Thanks for reading!
Cthepolkadots