Chapter 10

Sakura put down her bag on her desk. "Good morning," she greeted.

Syaoran, absorbed completely in the extra pile of work that he'd been given in the last hour, jumped in his seat. Syaoran looked over his shoulder and caught a quick peek of her. "Morning."

"Busy already?" She glanced at his computer screen.

"Yeah. Last night, we got all these calls from Sapporo. Apparently, something went wrong in the delivery and there's panic going on about not getting their orders on time. All I really know is Soshi's got me doing a lot of extra workload today." When that faint scent of flowers wafting in the air again, he couldn't stop himself. He turned in his seat and faced her. He subtly looked her over, the way men easily did without effort. Then he noticed the small bag that kept swinging back and forth in her hands. "What's that?"

"Hmm?" She hadn't realized she was still holding it. "Oh." Embarrassed that she was caught, Sakura absently scratched at the back of her head. "Well…since you paid for all that food the last few times we went out," she brought the bag level to her eyes and patted it. "I…tried cooking and made some food for you."

The rush of pleasure came at him before he could block it out. Knowing her lack of culinary skills, the fact that she'd spent time in the kitchen and prepared something for him suddenly made him happy. He stood up right then and grabbed the bag from her hand. "Is it edible?"

The happy look on her face soured. "Just because I'm no good in the kitchen doesn't mean I would offer you inedible food," she muttered, giving him a shove. "Besides you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I was merely trying to be a good person," she sniffed, turning her back on him.

"Thanks," he called out from behind as he watched her walk back to her cubicle.

When he sat back down, he bore holes at the white paper bag. Even from where he was sitting, he could smell roasted beef and fried seafood. He couldn't get his mind around it – why she would bother to cook it for him in the first place. He could count in one hand the number of people who actually did things for him to make him happy his entire life. There weren't many. So facing this now, he didn't exactly know how to react. Sakura was…willing to go through all that effort for him, though he'd done nothing to deserve it.

Argh. This was frustrating. He didn't like thinking about his feelings. It was too messy and almost always led him to make very bad decisions. But with how things were going right now, it was hard to ignore it.

Syaoran released a breath as he leaned forward. So he had feelings for her. He was aware of that. They weren't superficial, but all he really knew was that he didn't want to just play around with her. It was more than that at least. The realization brought along a huge sense of dread. The last time he let a woman in, she died.

And suddenly, it was like the rest of him was trying to catch up to his brain. His thoughts were leaping from one idea to another, and within seconds, a worrisome realization sunk in. Sakura would leave too. Of course she would. If he let her in, she would leave just like everybody else who was special to him. No one ever stayed, so why would she be an exception? He straightened up in his seat. Shit. Focus back on your work, Li, he reminded himself strictly. But even as he stared intensely at the folder in front of him, the words on the front page wouldn't register.

He clutched his forehead. The panic wouldn't go away. Syaoran's gaze shot to the white paper bag again. Dammit. Then, as though feeling trapped, he made a swift and careless decision. He couldn't pursue this. He wouldn't let this – whatever it was between them – develop into anything special. He couldn't afford losing her.

…

At half past noon, Sakura stretched out her arms and her back. Syaoran and the white paper bag were neither in sight. Curiously she pulled away from her desk and got on her feet. Maybe he was eating it right now in the kitchen. Just as she was about to peek, her cell phone rang.

She quickly glanced at the caller ID. "Hey Tomoyo."

"Sakura, I want to eat Chinese food today."

"Oh…" Sakura's gaze shifted to the kitchen.

From where she was, she could see what looked like Syaoran's arm. A part of her was itching to go there and find out what he thought of her cooking, but there was the other part that was afraid of what he had to say. Considering it was her first time even cooking something, a lot of things could have gone, and probably did go, wrong with the taste. Then she began to think up possible insults he could throw at her.

Sakura snapped back to the present. "Okay. I'm coming down now."

With quick and firm steps, she walked to the elevator, purposely ignoring the kitchen from her visual field. Just as she pushed the arrow button, someone took hold of her forearm from behind. She yelped as she felt her body get pulled back at least two meters.

When she regained her footing, she spun around to face Syaoran, who was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What?" She demanded, touching her elbow absently.

"Where are you going?"

"Tomoyo wants to eat out for lunch." She glanced down, realizing the first button on her blouse had unfastened. Her brows furrowed as she attempted to button it up. "So did you-"

"Don't cook for me again."

She jolted at the tone of his voice. Her head lifted.

"Just…don't do it again."

Syaoran immediately felt the guilt stab at him as the blatant look of hurt flashed on her face.

"It…it wasn't like I was…declaring any feelings for you!" She snapped, embarrassment quickly joining the bruise. "I owed you from before, so that's why I made it. Besides, if it tasted so badly that you felt the need to say that, then you shouldn't even have bothered eating the rest of it! You ingrate!"

Determined to see this through without breaking into a mess, Sakura turned around jerkily and opened the stairwell door. Though there were a good nine floors down before hitting the lobby, she was going to walk it all.

Sakura felt her shoulders shake as soon as she'd gotten down two flights of stairs. How could Syaoran have so much power over her feelings like this? One little comment and it was enough to sorely wound her pride. Sakura fisted her hand. So what, a simple, nice thing to do wasn't allowed anymore?

"Sakura!" Tomoyo greeted as she saw her friend walk out to the main entrance. Her smile died when she caught sight of her friend's face. "What happened?"

"What a bastard! Can't even appreciate a small act of kindness," Sakura cried angrily as she grabbed Tomoyo's arm and pulled her along.

"What? What happened?"

…

Syaoran walked aimlessly back to his cubicle. Her words resonated in his ears. That expression on her face. Why…did he just do that? As he crossed the hallway, he bumped solidly into Soshi. Syaoran looked up and saw the mild approval in his boss' eyes.

"Syaoran, has Sakura been a bother?" Soshi asked in feigned concern.

With a sharp gaze, he replied, "Why?"

"I didn't mean to overhear your conversation, but as your supervisor, I want to ensure everyone feels comfortable at the workplace, so if at any point you believe that she is crossing the line and being unprofessional or doing something that is interfering with your work, don't hesitate to let me know." He patted Syaoran's shoulder then began to walk away.

"She wasn't doing anything like that," Syaoran argued, turning back to stop Soshi. "It was my fault. Don't start assuming because of whatever it is you heard. She didn't do anything wrong." He didn't wait to see Soshi's response and instead marched off towards the opposite direction. Even if he wanted to punch the guy's face out, he had no right to, considering how he was being as big a jerk as Soshi.

When he reached his desk, he stared mindlessly into space. After everything that had happened between them, how could he have done that to her? He bit back a loud groan. Why was this becoming so much more complicated than it should be?

…

When Sakura returned to her desk, she plopped down on her seat. The lunch break had been a nice, therapeutic session with Tomoyo, but now, being in the same room as the jerk that couldn't even show an ounce of gratitude, she felt her anger come back completely and fast. From her visual periphery, she could tell Syaoran was walking around her cubicle and settling right in front of her, his face hovering just above her monitor. She kept her eyes fixated on the keyboard and ignored him perfectly.

Then he leaned against the cubicle wall. It made her blood boil. For a good minute, she was able to withstand the patient, lazy stare he was sending her. Then as her patience snapped, she threw the words at him with a clipped tone. "I'm busy. Leave me alone."

He was unfazed. "Are you still mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"You are."

"I'm not mad." She repeated with emphasis.

Syaoran inched forward and caught the flare of her nostrils. Yeah, she was still pissed off. "Stop denying it."

"THEN WHY…" She stopped, realizing her voice had gone two octaves higher. "Why bother asking if you already know!" She hissed.

He knew exactly how to push the right buttons. Of course, after all this time, how could she have been so stupid to forget that? With restraint that she had to dig up from all the way inside herself, Sakura spoke again, this time more calmly. "My reaction is perfectly normal. Why wouldn't anyone get mad over that kind of cruel, heartless comment? The least you could've done was show some gratitude, but no, you had to insult me and my cooking, so yes, I'm still very mad."

"I didn't-…I wasn't insulting you."

Frustrated to the point of exhaustion, she leaned back against her seat and threw him a murderous stare. "So what exactly were you doing?"

Syaoran restlessly moved around. Because he did initially want to hurt her, he felt the guilt. It was all because of all that fear and worry and distrust that had built up in a matter of moments during his emotional epiphany. That swift and careless decision that he'd made on the spot was probably the most idiotic one he'd ever made in his adult life. After he saw that look on her face, how hurt and angry she was, it left him feeling ugly and downhearted. It was scary how she could affect him so much.

So he'd sat himself down and really thought everything through. He decided to stop denying it. He liked her in that serious, only-want-you-for-myself way that he had successfully avoided for four years. And as much as it scared the shit out of him, it was foolhardy to push her away and act like there was nothing there. Because just looking at her face made him want to go after her.

Hell, looking at her right now was making him want her even more.

So knowing she was still feeling testy, he chose his words carefully. "First off, I'm sorry. I… only meant, don't go through all that trouble for me again. I don't deserve it. You must've had a rough time too. Cooking takes a lot of time and it can be hard, especially for someone who has no experience in the kitchen." Syaoran straightened up in discomfort. "But thanks…for cooking for me. It was good."

Sakura stared up at him for one more moment, trying to measure his sincerity, before looking away in embarrassment. She had just spent a good a half-hour throwing insults at Syaoran behind his back, and now, those simple words he'd just said easily swayed her heart. Was this how it was to be in love? No, 'in love' was probably too strong a phrase right at this point. With pursed lips, Sakura met his gaze squarely.

"You can't just take everything back like that," she responded hotly, unwilling to soften up her self-control, despite the way her heart did. "It sounded like an insult to me." She added with a miffed tone.

An apologetic smile came out, and as small and hidden as it was, it was genuine. "I'll do whatever you want me to do."

"Make me dinner. If you really didn't mean to insult me, you'll make me dinner," she challenged. "You need to pay me back for all the hard effort I put into making your lunch."

Tomoyo had said not to give up on him, amidst Sakura's angry release of words. She hadn't been planning on doing that anyway…all it was, was just that it hurt to hear that from him. Taking out her anger on Tomoyo had helped, since the woman had laughed and comforted her through it, assuring her that Syaoran was probably just as confused about his own feelings as she was. Though she didn't believe that assumption the moment it was said, Sakura studied him now, wondering if there was some truth in it.

With almost a defeated feeling, Syaoran let his gaze roam her face. Was there really no way he could stop anything now? It didn't seem like it. How had he been so naïve to think that he could push her away so easily when he badly wanted her like this?

"What?" She demanded, though her heart was trembling.

As he looked away, he said, "Don't bring your car tomorrow."

When he walked past her, she released the breath she'd been holding.

:::::::::

Sakura watched as Syaoran walked to the kitchen and came back to his desk with a cup of coffee. He hadn't said a word all day, only some mumbles of greetings. So now that the day was dwindling down, Sakura couldn't help but feel a little doubt at the plan they'd made the night before about dinner. It was hard to be sure when the guy had such awful mood changes. One minute he's easy to talk to, the next he shuns everybody out.

Was there even going to be a dinner tonight? Or was he playing some kind of cruel game, where she would end up having to take the bus home because she didn't drive that morning? The second thought suddenly made her angry. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't. Would he? Realizing how fast her thoughts were spinning to the negative end, Sakura stood and walked directly to his desk.

He looked up over the rim of his cup. "What?"

"Did you cook dinner for me tonight?" She asked, resting her hands on her hips in a sign of agitation. She wasn't going to look pathetic, not now.

He raised a brow and put his cup down. "No."

Her mouth opened in shock. What?

He put a hand up. "Before you freak out on me, I haven't made it yet. When I get home I'll cook, obviously."

After a long and sleepless night filled with thoughts of how badly he was going to end up treating her and how awful this possible relationship between them would inevitably come to, Syaoran wasn't in the best of moods. No matter how many times he'd repeated to himself that he wasn't going to let her in, she was getting closer and closer instead. And as much as he wanted to blame it all on her, he had accepted that at least half of the reason why was because he wanted to let her in.

In relief, she raked a hand through her hair. "Fine. When are we having dinner?"

"I won't be done until 7."

She raised a brow at the tone of his voice. "I know." Syaoran rarely finished work at 5 and he was often the last person to leave the office. She wouldn't have known it had Soshi not asked her to wait that one night.

His gaze followed her as she walked back to her cubicle. It was already nearing 5, the time that Sakura usually went home. He could see from the way she kept on looking around, trying to find things to do, that she was done all her work. Despite not understanding why she was willing to wait two hours, he felt absurdly touched by it. Syaoran stood up.

He pulled her arm. "If you knew that, why would you wait that long?" The pulse of her wrist under his hand was going a little faster than normal.

Sakura cautiously met his gaze. "Why not?"

"It's a long time."

"But you said you'd make me dinner," she countered, frowning.

"Oh yeah. You waited for Soshi for hours that one time, I remember. You're pretty loyal, aren't you?" He said as he sat on the edge of her desk.

Syaoran glanced down at her small wrist in his hand. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't seem to let go of her. Instead, his hand slid down to take hers. Her skin was so soft.

Her heart hammered. Afraid she would stutter, Sakura could only shake her head in response to him. The way he was touching her, it made her feel warm, anxious. He never touched her like this before. "If I was willing to wait for Soshi for hours, I'd do more than that for you," she spoke quietly, meeting his eyes again.

"Why?" He demanded, tugging her hand and inadvertently pulling her even closer to him.

"Because," she began, despite not knowing what to say. "You…" She couldn't lie, even if she wanted to. His eyes always seemed to wipe out any thoughts she might have had. "You…obviously mean more to me."

Syaoran straightened from his position, but because he still had some control left, he released her hand. "Let's go."

"Eh? But you're not done. I'm really okay with waiting, Syaoran."

He buried his hands in his pockets and walked away before he could touch her again. "Yeah I know. That's why I'm not going to make you wait two hours for me." Syaoran bent down and gathered his things. "I'm really hungry anyway. Get your stuff ready."

Speechless, Sakura watched as he organized his desk and began turning off his computer. She did the same. He was being unbelievably considerate of her. How had she gone for years being so oblivious to it? When she looked up, he was watching her. Her cheeks flushing, Sakura followed him to the elevator.

...

When she stepped foot into his home, curiosity got the best of her. Sakura started at the living room, walking around the small two-bedroom suite of a high-rise condominium. There was a long, black leather couch in the shape of a square bracket that leaned against the white wall. Across from it was a flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. It was typically male, but surprisingly cleaner than she would have expected. Instead of paintings on the walls, there were photographs, some black and white, others vibrant in color. Sakura smiled. So he appreciated art too. The photographs didn't have any particular similarity between them that she could tell right away.

Off to the side was a built-in fireplace. Above it were two framed pictures. One was a picture of a kind-looking grandpa. She figured this must have been the old man who took care of Syaoran. Her focus shifted to the picture frame sitting next to it. Her heart skipped. In it was a young, beautiful girl, with long brown hair and dark blue eyes. She wore glasses. Her smile was a little reserved. Sakura's gaze travelled to the younger version of Syaoran standing beside her. His hair was a little bit longer and wavier, and he had a boyish smile on his face, with his arm loosely hanging over the girl's shoulder.

"You can put these on." Syaoran walked into the living room with a pair of slippers. He stopped, realizing where she was standing.

Sakura turned. Much to his surprise, she broke into a smile and accepted the slippers. "Thanks."

"Ah…" He glanced at the picture frame she had been looking at. "That's…"

"Yuki, right?" Despite the twinge in her heart, she tried to keep her spirits up. Even if she hadn't experienced having a first love, she knew it was a special thing to have and respected it. It was just strange that he had her picture up here. So he hadn't forgotten her after all this time. "She's beautiful."

Instead of answering her, he took her arm. "Help me with dinner."

Sakura's gaze landed on the marble grey floor and white countertops. The kitchen was very clean and organized. It was indicative of how Syaoran lived; he was a neat kind of guy. He liked to keep things orderly and where they needed to be. She glanced over at his sink and stove and saw no trace of dirt or stains whatsoever. Thinking back to her own apartment made her want to shudder. She needed to clean that place up sometime soon.

"You're shockingly tidy," she remarked with a light laugh. "I didn't really expect anything too far-fetched, but…wow. It's so clean. How can that be possible in a man's house?"

He chuckled, grabbing several bags of vegetables from the fridge. "The families I lived with, they were real strict on house chores and cleanliness. I once had to sleep outside in the garage for not sweeping the floors."

"What? That's awful!"

"Yeah, well. I'm sure they just didn't want me around for family night." He shrugged, nonchalant about the whole situation. "After that and a few more, I learned my lesson. It kind of carried over through time." He took out a bag of shrimp and squid from the freezer. "You like seafood right?"

Sakura nodded, leaning her back against the counter and waiting for him to get all the ingredients sorted out. "You've got a nice home here. It fits your character," she judged as she glanced around the rooms and hallways. "How come you went for a two-bedroom suite? I would have thought one-bedroom would be good enough."

"I use the other one as my office-slash-gaming room." Syaoran flashed her a smirk just before he took a pot and pan out of one cabinet. "Yeah, I'm not complaining. It's a great place. The balcony's pretty awesome too, gives me a good view of the city. I think I could probably see your apartment from here. Check it out if you want."

Immediately excited, Sakura walked to the glass doors at the opposite end of the room and unlocked it. When she stepped out, she could already see the wide view of the city. Syaoran lived in the 22nd floor. Standing just a little bit off from the railing, Sakura appreciated the scenic landscape in front of her. When she studied the tall buildings and the small homes, Sakura tried to recall exactly where her address would be. Through her thorough study of the view, she then found the blue and white apartment. It looked like a tiny thing from where she was.

So Syaoran can see me from here, she thought with faint pleasure. It was odd to be connected that way. She wondered if she would be able to see his building from her balcony, though she only lived on the 10th floor.

"Find it?" He asked as soon as she stepped back into the kitchen.

She nodded. "It looks super small from here, but you can still see it. For some reason that makes me happy," Sakura said, smiling.

He caught it, and because he felt his pulse jump at the sight, Syaoran immediately turned back to his cooking. "We should connect two tin cans together with the longest rope we can find then try talking through it. It would work. I bet we'd make the world record by the longest, primitive telephone ever made."

She laughed. "That sounds stupid."

"It could work," he argued with a grin.

When Syaoran finally served dinner an hour after, Sakura sat eagerly in her chair and waited for him to come back to his seat. The food that Syaoran had prepared smelled so delicious, it was hard not to be affected. "You really cooked me dinner," Sakura murmured with genuine pleasure in her voice. When she raised her eyes to meet his, he smiled cockily.

"I'm a damn good cook, so eat slowly and savour, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

She quickly clapped her hands together. "Can we say it together?"

Surprised, Syaoran looked up. With a nod he followed suit, and together they said, "Itadakimasu."

"Thanks for the food, Syaoran. I will really enjoy it!" She said with determination just before grabbing her chopsticks.

He laughed as her eyebrows furrowed and she attacked each prepared dish on the table. It was the first time he'd eaten dinner with someone else in this house. A warm, unknown feeling settled at the base of his heart. It surprisingly felt really good to be able to share it with her.

…

After dinner, Sakura settled against the back of the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She sipped lightly as she studied one of the photographs on the wall. It looked something related to the world wars. The picture was monochrome and the contrast between light and dark were heavily heightened. She wondered why he'd picked that out in particular. These kinds of things usually said something about the person after all.

Syaoran returned from the kitchen and sat near her. "Good meal. Didn't I tell you, I'm an awesome chef."

"I won't argue with that. Thank you," she repeated, facing him. "It was amazing…probably some of the most delicious cooking I've had."

"High praises for someone who goes out to lunch almost every day," he said lightly, patting her head. "And has no experience in cooking."

"Exactly! Which means it must be true," she responded vehemently. "I'm very appreciative of good food, especially food that is unique to the taste. So you must have been following that old man like crazy when you were in high school, huh? I mean, to learn to prepare so many dishes at once and knowing exactly how much of a seasoning to put in one and in another."

Syaoran shrugged. "I was curious and had nothing else to do. And he liked teaching it to me, so I thought, why not. By the time I was thinking about living on my own, I got pretty serious about it. I figured, I needed to know how to take care of myself and that meant learning how to cook too." He took a drink and put the wineglass down on the coffee table.

Sakura set her own wineglass on the table. Curiosity was biting at her. She pressed her lips for a moment, wondering how to go about bringing it up. The whole night she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it – the picture frame sitting atop the fireplace. Sometime in between dinner and moving into the living room, she had noticed it was gone. Because of that, it poked at her even more.

"Can I…" She glanced up now, a little worried what his reaction might be.

He met her gaze.

"It's probably not my place. Um…" Struggling to find the right words, Sakura shifted in her seat. "About Yuki." She ended up saying it directly. "I'm just…"

"What do you want to know?" He interrupted lightly.

"Do you still… love her?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Not…that way. Not anymore."

"Then why do you have her picture here?"

"Does it bother you?" He asked in turn.

Astonished at the quietness in his voice, Sakura glanced away. So it was a closed-off topic. She couldn't help the sting of pain flittering through her chest.

"I wonder, if I had a first love…would he have been so precious in my life that I would keep a picture of him in my house? I don't mean that in a disrespectful way," she clarified quickly, gesturing with her hands. "I just… really don't know what it's supposed to be like."

After a long, silent pause, Syaoran spoke again. "If you knew you'd never see him again…that there was no chance you'd ever be able to see him again." He stood and leaned against the balcony glass door. "If that was the case, is it easier for you to imagine why I'd have her picture?"

She sat still, unable to speak. It took her some time to absorb in what he'd just said. But as realization struck, Sakura felt her heart constrict. She couldn't push herself off the couch to go to him, though a part of her wanted to go to him right then. "She…"

He looked back at her. Those sad eyes she'd seen a few times before were looking at her now. So this was why. He'd lost everyone in his life, including the one woman he'd loved. Her heart broke even more at the sight. When Syaoran walked over and touched her cheeks, she was surprised to see the wet tears on his fingers.

"Stop crying," he ordered.

"Sorry," she murmured, knowing the words were inadequate and pointless. "I…"

He sat on the edge of the coffee table and positioned himself in front of her. Mystified by the burst of emotions that had come out, Syaoran could only watch her try to regain control on them. Feeling an unmistakeable need to make her tears go away, he grabbed a tissue from the tissue box sitting on the table. As he brought the tissue up to her cheeks, Sakura wrapped her hands around his wrists and stared into those sad brown eyes. Was it normal to feel this much pain for someone else? She had never felt this broken over another person's pain before. Though questions were sitting at the tip of her tongue, she decided to take some of his pain. Without reluctance, Sakura threw her arms around him.

In shock, Syaoran remained still. "Sakura-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

When she pulled back and sat in front of him again, the tears were gone. Glad for it, Syaoran pushed off from the table and walked to the kitchen. This was too hard, being too close to her and having his feelings out there in the open. He never put himself in such a vulnerable position with anybody around. It was frustrating that with Sakura, it was like that wall he'd built around himself all this time seemed weak and easy to break down. It bothered him that she'd cried like that…for him.

When he returned, he pushed a glass of water into her hands. "Four years ago," he supplied. Syaoran took a seat on one end of the couch, a little farther from her now. "She was sick."

Sakura took a sip and held the tissue in her hands. "What kind of person was she, Syaoran?" Her reaction earlier hadn't been what she expected of herself. The tears had come out involuntarily. Her heart truly hurt for him.

"You know a little about her already. She was the first person who made the effort to get to know me. I was really anti-social for a while. She just stuck around. She…she's like you in some ways. Loved the beach. Yuigahama Beach was her favourite place." He let himself remember for a moment. "Ah…I remember, she was in love with one of our senpais at school. He was the good-looking, strong, and smart type." There were days filled with joy, he recalled now, having forgotten it over time. "One time, she actually made me follow him one night so I could find out where he lived."

Sakura smiled wanly. It wasn't hard to picture Syaoran falling in love with someone like that.

"The only thing was…" Syaoran's smile then faded. "Even when she was sick, Yuki wouldn't lean on me. I wanted so badly to take care of her, but…" He rested his head on the top spine of the couch, uncomfortable with the sudden sense of grief filling his chest. "I usually try not to remember. Sorry." With a quiet sigh, Syaoran closed his eyes.

After a long period of silence, he felt soft, warm lips touch his. Syaoran's eyes shot open and stared up, catching sight of water-filled emerald eyes. His heart thudded helplessly. "Why?"

"You looked like you needed it," she offered quietly, feeling her bottom lip tremble. She didn't know what else she could do for him, if only to take away that sorrow for a moment. Before Sakura could walk away, he stood and yanked her into his arms.

"Whatever happens now, I won't stop it," he said, almost as a warning. "I'm really not what you're looking for, Sakura, and I've got too much baggage." Syaoran pulled away slightly. "I'm going to end up hurting you."

She could only shake her head in denial. How was it possible for her heart to feel like it was going to burst right out of her ribcage? Was it really possible to be so happy and sad at the same time? Unable to say a thing for fear that the tears that Syaoran hated to see would come again, Sakura stayed silent, unsure what to say or do.

He looked deep into her eyes, trying to make her understand. "Don't misunderstand this time. I'm not sorry for doing this."

She had no time to respond as he bent down and took her lips forcefully, passionately.