Rory finally had her start date for "The Yankee Dandy Scribe": three weeks from the following Monday. In the meantime, Clarice had asked her to meet her on Wednesday morning to give her the town tour. Rory winced, thinking of the encounters they'd likely have on the way with Kirk, Taylor and Miss Patty and so many others. She'd work in a stop to see her mother's inn and Dean's bookstore so that the tour would have some element of normalcy.

Mia had asked Rory to meet her at Luke's at eight thirty for breakfast and as she approached the diner, she could see through the window that the town's folk were already lining up to introduce themselves.

"Let the fun begin, " Rory muttered under her breath.

"So exciting to see you again," Miss Patty said to Clarice. "You must give Mia my love and I'll hope you'll consider my idea for writing a sex advice column for your magazine. You can ask anyone in town and I'm sure they'll tell you I'm the most qualified for the job. "

"Well, we'll see," Clarice responded uncomfortably.

"Hold it right there, toots!" Babette yelled out at Miss Patty.

"Excussse me!?"

"You heard me, Miss Patty! Where do you get off telling Clarice that you're the most qualified person in Stars Hollow to write a sex column when you know I got just as much experience as you, maybe more?"

"Oh, you think so, do you?"

"Have you ever had sex on a moving escalator?"

"Pleaasse! That's for amateurs!"

"The Concorde?"

"Many, many times!"

"Al's Pancake World?"

"Al's Pancake World? Now we could be talking about some competition!" Miss Patty mused, as she and Babette walked out of Luke's diner, forgetting all about Clarice and the magazine.

"You wanted Stars Hollows and you got Stars Hollows," Rory chuckled as she joined Clarice at the table.

"Yes, something tells me that. Remind me to never, ever eat at Al's Pancake World."

Next, it was Kirk's turn to introduce himself.

"Hello, Clarice, my name's Kirk. I conduct myself in many matters of business here in the township of Stars Hollow: floral deliveries, video rentals, rodent extermination, mold inspections, writing pornographic fortune cookie messages, cat walking, gerbil sitting, and many other endeavors too numerous to enumerate, but my most important achievement thus far is the cinematic contribution I have made in creating a movie which is featured yearly at our Stars Hollow annual film festival. Anyway, it would be a great honor if you would consider giving me the opportunity to work as a photographer for your very prestigious magazine."

"Kirk! " Rory screamed. "There is no such thing as a Stars Hollow annual film festival. They only show one movie every year: 'The Yearling.' And the only reason Taylor agrees to show your video before the movie starts is because you agree to work for free that day for him at Doose's market. The magazine already has photographers and I don't think 'A film by Kirk,' which is like a how to manual for 'The Theater of the Absurd, is exactly qualification material for a major national publication."

"Kirk, I'm afraid Rory's right. That we already have photographers, that is. But the magazine will have a photo contest featured in every issue. I would love it if you'd consider submitting your work for the contest."

"It would be my ultimate honor. Now if you excuse me, mother and Lulu have asked me to bring them these glazed donuts and I don't think they'd appreciate being kept waiting."

"Wow! You were so nice to him. That reminds me of how Mia would have handled his bizarreness."

"Well, we've both tried to follow the golden rule. I'd like to think that's what's made us both successful business women so far."

Next, in walked Taylor. Rory knew Clarice was going to get the full treatment of Stars Hollow today. Word had gotten around that there was a media celebrity in town and everyone wanted a piece of the action. It reminded her of an episode of Andy Griffith, where everyone wanted to be in a movie about the town. It seemed like everyone was coming into Luke's today, except Floyd the Barber.

"Clarice, so good to see you! Listen, I was hoping we could talk later. You, know mano a womano, about doing a photo spread of Stars Hollow. I have a lot of ideas for the magazine, we could start by doing a highlight of my up and coming German beer garden. I'm going to call it 'Der Big Weiner Garten.' Your readers will love it. Just love it!"

"That sounds …. interesting, Taylor. Yes … we'll talk later," Clarice responded, rolling her eyes behind his back.

" Golden rule, Clarice. Golden rule!" Rory reminded her.

"Well, you're right about the bizarreness, Rory. But I really find them more amusing than irritating, and their colorfulness is going to be a great inspiration for the magazine."

"If you're looking for a town with colorfulness, you're going to get a whole kaleidoscope here. I thought maybe we could start today by going to my mom's inn, 'The Dragonfly'."

"Oh, yes. I would love to see it."

" Hello, Rory. Hello, Clarice. How's the big tour going?"

"It's only nine thirty and we've already seen Miss Patty, Babette, Kirk, and Taylor. I thought I'd bring Clarice to your inn to prove Stars Hollow isn't a complete bizarro world. "

"Uh, well – okay! "Lorelai stammered. With Michel, Sookie and Rune lurking in the background, she knew anything was possible and she hoped they'd be on their best behavior today, in front of Rory's future boss.

The next thing they heard was Michel's voice on the phone and Lorelai knew the challenges at the inn were already starting for the day.

"Noooo, we do not have eny thing, kind lady. I have already told you we are booked for de month. Nooo, there es nothing. No…. wait, let me see. Ah yes, let me check for you. I see we have de Johnny Mathis suite ah-vay-able on de twelvh of neh-ver. Shall I hold it for you? Yes? We'll see you den. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye," he growled as he slammed the phone down. "Stooped, stooped, peepel!"

"Oh, I know that voice!" Clarice exclaimed with amusement.

"So do I. Michel!" Lorelai called out running to the front desk, trying to head him off before he said something nasty to Clarice.

"Michel! I'm so glad to see you. You're looking very debonair, as always!" Clarice greeted.

"As do you, my lovely lady, enchante," he murmured as he took her wrist and gently kissed her hand.

"Merci beau coup, monsieur," she responded.

"Parlez vous francais, mon cheri?"

"Oui!"

As the two of them started conversing in French, Lorelai escorted Rory in the kitchen to find Sookie. Rory looked at her in alarm, fearful to leave Clarice alone in Michel's company.

"It's okay, hon," Lorelai said, trying to reassure her. "Apparently they're quite friendly and even if they weren't, how would we know? They're speaking French."

"Sookie! Guess who's here?"

"Who, Lorelai?" she responded enthusiastically.

"Mia's sister, Clarice. She's offered Rory a job as an editor at the magazine the whole town's buzzing about."

"Oh, that's so exciting, Rory. I have an idea. Why don't you bring her back here for lunch? I'm starting my fall menu today. I'm making quiches with gruyere cheese and bacon and my famous autumn salad with walnuts, golden apples and herb goat cheese and a warm balsamic dressing."

"Clarice! It's so good to see you," Sookie gurgled.

"And you, too, Sookie. You and Lorelai have a splendid inn."

"I just told Rory you two should come back here later for lunch today."

"Thank you, Sookie. I'm looking forward to it. I haven't forgotten what a fabulous chef you are."

"Well,' bye everyone, we're going to tour the rest of the town now."

"Don't forget to show Clarice the giant slinky!" Sookie yelled after them.

After lunch at the inn, the final stop on their tour was Dean's bookstore. Rory thought Clarice would enjoy having a cappuccino in the garden and listening to the music.

"Please don't let me down, Dean," Rory thought as they strolled into the bookstore.