Chapter 10- Charles Darwin and the warners + more!
Charles Darwin was sailing on the HSR Beagle to unlock the mysteries of Evolution when the warners who were riding on the back of a whale came aboard the ship.
'I hope I'll discover those different species of birds soon. Sleeping on this ship for 5 days straight has given me a rash' Darwin moaned to himself.
'Is this the famous UK cruise?' Yakko asked.
'No, this is the HSR Beagle. Who are you?' Darwin asked.
'We're the warner brothers, we like to sing a lot! My name's Yakko' Yakko sang.
'My name's Wakko' Wakko added.
'And here's our sister…' they both sang.
'Dot, I'm the cute one!' Dot exclaimed.
'Nice ship, can I eat it?' Wakko asked.
'No! I want to reach the pacific island to study the different species of birds' Darwin cried.
"Call me 'Dottie' and you die!' Dot yelled.
'Sorry' Darwin said, softly.
There just happened to be a French girl with blonde hair wearing a pink dress.
'Helloooooo French Nurse!' Wakko and Yakko exclaimed.
'Boys' Dot sighed.
'They're crazy in love' Darwin sighed.
'Do you know who I am?' Darwin asked.
'No, did you forget?' Yakko replied.
'I'm Charles Darwin, a famous scientist' Darwin replied.
'So you're a boneologlist? We've got a song for that!' Dot said as Yakko played a small wooden gitar.
Yakko:
Everybody knows about the ankle bone connected
To the other bones you have inside your leg.
Wakko:
And everybody knows, it's true,
Without the bones inside of you...
Dot:
Your body would become a scrambled egg.
Yakko:
So the toe bone's connected to the
Foot bone...
Wakko:
And the foot bone's connected to the
Ankle bone...
Dot:
And the slide is connected to the
Trom-bone!
Yakko:
The structure of the human body's
Something quite unique
And I'd imagine all the bones inside
Connected to each other
In a complex distribution
Formed by years of evolution
And there still is some confusion
Over how it came to be.
Wakko:
The foot and toes and ankle
Help us walk. We should be thankful
They're connected to the lower leg
Or else we'd all fall down.
And here's the tibia, the shin bone
And the fibula is ingrown
To the back of the patella,
Which is also called the knee.
The Warners:
Knee knee knee knee knee knee knee,
Knee knee knee knee knee knee knee,
Knee knee knee knee knee knee knee,
Knee knee knee knee knee!
Dot:
Here we classify bone
As the femur or the thigh bone.
It's connected to the pelvis
Or the lower lumbar region.
Up the sacrum to the vertebrae
And doctors all prefer to say
The sternum or the thorax
When they're talkin' 'bout your ribs.
Yakko:
The finger bones are numerous.
Wakko:
The upper arm's the humerus.
Dot:
The forearm's got two pieces
Called the radius and the ulna.
Yakko:
Then the scapula and clavicle...
Wakko:
The maxilla and mandible...
Dot:
The nasal and the frontal bone
And cranium on top.
Yakko:
The skeleton is really great.
Wakko:
It helps your body stand up straight.
The Warners:
Without it, all your brains and guts
Would fall out on the floor!
'What a strange song!' Darwin exclaimed.
'Want to know about all of the presidents away before President Obama?' Wakko asked.
'Who's that?' Darwin asked.
'Wow, dumber than advertised' Dot exclaimed.
'We'll tell you!' Yakko yelled.
Yakko:
Heigh Ho, Dayaknow, the names of the US residents
who than became the presidents and got a view from the White House loo off Pennsylvania Avenue...
Wakko:
George Washington was the first, you see,
He once chopped down a cherry tree.
Dot:
President number two would be
John Adams, and then number three...
Yakko:
Tom Jefferson stayed up to write
A declaration late at night.
So he and his wife had a great big fight
And she made him sleep on the couch all night.
Wakko:
James Madison never had a son
And he fought the War of 1812.
Dot:
James Monroe's colossal nose
Was bigger than Pinocchio's.
Yakko:
John Quincy Adams was number six
And it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicks.
So Jackson learns to play politics.
Next time, he's the one that the country picks.
Dot:
Martin Van Buren, number eight
For a one-term shot as chief of state.
Yakko:
William Harrison, how do ya praise?
That guy was dead in thirty days!
Wakko:
John Tyler he liked country folk...
Dot:
And after him came President Polk.
Yakko:
Zachary Taylor liked to smoke,
His breath killed friends whenever he spoke.
Wakko:
1850, really nifty,
Millard Fillmore's in.
Yakko:
Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce,
The man without a chin.
Dot:
Followin' next a period spannin'
Four long years with James Buchanan.
Then the south starts shootin' cannons
And we got a Civil War.
The Warners:
(to the tune of "I Wish I Was in Dixie")
A war!
A war down south in Dixie!
Yakko:
Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln.
Dot:
There's a guy who's really thinkin'!
Wakko:
Kept the United States from shrinkin',
Saved the ship of state from sinkin'!
Dot:
Andrew Johnson's next,
He had some slight defects.
Wakko:
Congress each would impeach...
Dot:
And so the country now elects...
Yakko:
Ulysses Simpson Grant,
Who would scream and rave and rant...
Wakko:
While drinkin' whiskey, although risky,
'Cause he'd spill it on his pants.
Yakko:
It's 1877 and the Democrats would gloat.
But they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes
Wins by just one vote.
Dot:
James Garfield someone really hated
'Cause he was assassinated.
Wakko:
Chester Arthur gets instated.
Four years later, he was traded...
Dot:
For Grover Cleveland, really fat,
Elected twice as a Democrat.
Then Benjamin Harrison, after that,
It's William McKinley up to bat.
Yakko:
Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill.
Wakko:
And President Taft, he gets the bill.
Yakko:
In 1913, Woodrow...
The Warners:
Wiiiiillllllllllson
Takes us into World War I!
(Military cadence)
Yakko:
Warren Harding, next in line.
Dot:
It's Calvin Coolidge, he does fine.
Wakko:
And then in 1929,
The market crashes and we find...
Yakko:
It's Herbert Hoover's big debut.
He gets the blame and loses to...
Dot:
Franklin Roosevelt, President who
Helped us win in World War II.
Wakko:
Harry Truman, weird little human,
Serves two terms and when he's done...
Yakko:
It's Eisenhower who's got the power
From '53 to '61.
Dot:
John Kennedy had Camelot
Then Lyndon Johnson took his spot.
Yakko:
Richard Nixon, he gets caught
And Gerald Ford fell down a lot.
Wakko:
Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips.
Yakko:
And Ronald Reagan's speeches' scripts
All came from famous movie clips,
And President Bush said, "Read my lips."
Dot:
Now in Washington, DC...
Wakko:
There's Democrats and the GOP...
Yakko:
But the ones in charge are plain to see...
Dot:
The Clintons, Bill and Hillary!
Yakko:
The next President to lead the way,
Well, it might just be yourself one day.
Then the press'll distort everything you say...
The Warners:
So jump in your plane and fly away!
'Ahhhhhh!' Darwin cried as he jumped out the boat and swam away.
'I guess he didn't take our songs well' Dot said.
End of Skit
One of you – Galactic Idol
'Welcome to Galactic Idol with our Judges, Dot, X-5, Robo-Betty, Cadet Noah and Hello Nurse!' Dr Scratchy announced.
'Helloooooo Nurse!' Wakko and Yakko exclaimed.
'Boys' Dot said.
'No control' Hello Nurse added.
'Our first contestant is Yakko!' Scratchy announced.
(Announcer) Dot:
And now, the nations of the world, brought to you by Yakko Warner!
Yakko:
United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama,
Haiti, Jamaica, Peru,
Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribbean,
Greenland, El Salvador, too.
Puerto Rico, Colombia, Venezuela,
Honduras, Guyana, and still,
Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina,
And Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.
Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda,
Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan,
Paraguay, Uruguay, Suriname,
And French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.
Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland,
And Germany, now in one piece,
Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia,
Italy, Turkey, and Greece.
Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania,
Ireland, Russia, Oman,
Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia, Hungary,
Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.
There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan,
Both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,
The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal,
France, England, Denmark, and Spain.
India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan,
Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan,
Kampuchea, Malaysia, then Bangladesh (Asia),
And China, Korea, Japan.
Mongolia, Laos, and Tibet, Indonesia,
The Philippine Islands, Taiwan,
Sri Lanka, New Guinea, Sumatra, New Zealand,
Then Borneo, and Vietnam.
Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola,
Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana,
Mozambique, Zambia, Swaziland, Gambia,
Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.
Burundi, Lesotho, then Malawi, Togo,
The Spanish Sahara is gone,
Niger, Nigeria, Chad, and Liberia,
Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.
Tanzania, Somalia, Kenya, and Mali,
Sierra Leone, and Algiers,
Dahomey, Namibia, Senegal, Libya,
Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.
Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar,
Rwanda, Mayore, and Cayman,
Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia...
Crete, Mauritania, then Transylviania,
Monaco, Liechtenstein, Malta, and Palestine,
Fiji, Australia, Sudan!
"Thanks, Yakko. Next is Wakko singing 'Wako's America'!" Scratchy stated as Wakko bowed and then began to play the violin.
' Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Indianapolis, Indiana,
And Columbus is the capital of Ohio,
There's Montgomery, Alabama, south of Helena, Montana,
Then there's Denver, Colorado and then Boise, Idaho.
Texas has Austin, then we go north,
To Massachusetts' Boston and Albany, New York.
Tallahassee, Florida, and Washington, D.C.,
Santa Fe, New Mexico and Nashville, Tennessee.
Elvis used to hang out there a lot, you know.
Trenton's in New Jersey, north of Jefferson, Missouri,
You've got Richmond in Virginia, South Dakota has Pierre,
Harrisburg's in Pennsylvania, and Augusta's up in Maine,
And here is Providence, Rhode Island next to Dover, Delaware.
Concord, New Hampshire, just a quick jaunt
To Montpelier, which is up in Vermont.
Hartford's in Connecticut, so pretty in the fall.
And Kansas has Topeka, Minnesota has St. Paul.
Juneau's in Alaska, and there's Lincoln in Nebraska,
And it's Raleigh out in North Carolina, and then,
There's Madison, Wisconsin and Olympia in Washington,
Phoenix, Arizona and Lansing, Michigan.
Here's Honolulu, Hawaii's a joy,
Jackson, Mississippi and Springfield, Illinois,
South Carolina with Columbia down the way
And Annapolis in Maryland on Chesapeake Bay.
They have wonderful clam chowder.
Cheyenne is in Wyoming, and perhaps you'd make your home in
Salt Lake City out in Utah, where the buffalo roam.
Atlanta's down in Georgia, and there's Bismarck, North Dakota,
And you can live in Frankfort in your old Kentucky home.
Salem in Oregon, from there we join
Little Rock in Arkansas, Iowa's got Des Moines,
Sacramento, California, Oklahoma and its city,
Charleston, West Virginia and Nevada, Carson City!
That's all the capitals there are!' Wakko sang.
'Go Wakko!' Dot cried.
'He's good but I've heard better' X-5 said as the audience booed him.
'The third contestant is Atomic Betty!' Scratchy yelled.
'Go Betty!' Noah cried.
Then fast-paced rock music played.
' Back in space is where I wanna go
Back in space is where I feel at home
I wanna go
Back in space is where I wanna be
Back in space where no one laughs at me
I wanna go
I wanna go (Let's Go!)
Have to take my rocket ship
I'm orbiting the outer rim
I'm fighting evil aliens
It's good to be in space again
I'm traveling at hyperspace
'Cause somewhere there's a friend in need
I'm guardian of the galaxy
And everybody loves me
Blast off to outer space
To save that alien race
No place I rather stay
Than up and away
Back in space is where they think I'm bad
Back in space is where I never sat
I wanna go
Back in space, I'm leaving Earth behind
Back in space, but I'll be back in time
I wanna go
I wanna go (Let's Go!)
Have to take my rocket ship
I'm orbiting the outer rim
I'm fighting evil aliens
It's good to be in space again
I'm traveling at hyperspace
'Cause somewhere there's a friend in need
I'm guardian of the galaxy
And everybody loves me
Blast off to outer space
To save that alien race
No place I rather stay
Than up and away
Back in space (I wanna go)
Back in space (I wanna go)
Back in space (I wanna go)
Back in space
(Atomic Betty reporting for duty! Hyah!)' Atomic Betty sang.
Noah did the foxy whistle and Wakko stared.
'The last contestant who insisted to preform or her dad would threaten to fire me, is stupid Penelope!' Scratchy declared as everyone booed and threw rocks at her.
'Get off the stage!' a male voice cried.
'Play the music!' Penelope cried.
'I'm a fighter girl, want to rule the world! Want to see and take to over-hurdle!
I just want to destroy Betty! Yeeeeah!' Penelope sang badly.
'Stop! Stop, Stop, Stop! I've heard a monkey sing better than you and I've been in showbiz for a long time' Dot exclaimed.
'You sound like a screeching hyena' Hello Nurse stated.
'You're mean and your singing sucks like lemons so get off the stage!' Robo-Betty shrieked.
'I know a toaster-oven that sings better' X-5 said.
'Get off the stage, Penelope! You're banned from Galactic Idol forever!' Noah cried.
'I'm staying right here!' Penelope boomed.
'Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!' The audience chanted.
'Betty, Yakko and Wakko are the winners and we have a special surprise for Penelope!' Scratchy declared as a red curtain behind Penelope was lifted.
'Warners do your stuff!' X-5 commanded.
'Oh Lady! Oh Lady Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady!' The warners chanted.
'Nice Lady!' Wakko exclaimed.
'Yakko, stop badgering Penelope!' Scratchy cried as Yakko held a badger in front of Penelope.
'Sorry' Yakko said.
'What are you doing now?' Dot asked.
'Goating Penelope' Yakko replied.
The Wakko did the drum roll for the joke.
Penelope screamed and sprinted away.
'You there remind me of a very young yippy, yappy and Yahooy!' Slappy said as she pointed at each warner before disappearing.
'I have now idea what that meant' Dot said.
'And now to congratulate the winners, the Warners will sing a very special song!' Captain Chuck intervened.
Yakko:
There are fifty thousand diff'rent kinds of animals
And there are fifty thousand more that used to be.
There's a hundred million ants
And a half a billion plants
And a lot of fish down underneath the sea.
There's gotta be a couple million spiders,
A hundred fifty million butterflies and bees,
And a bunch of different mammals
Like those elephants and camels
And approximately fifty billion trees!
Yakko and Wakko:
(While Dot "oohs" in the background)
But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
You stand out among the other things, it's true!
The Warners:
Yes, the universe is large
And whoever is in charge
Made lots of things but only one of you!
Yakko:
A one and a two and a three and a four
A thousand and a million and a billion or more!
There's a trillion drops of water in the ocean,
And a billion trillion molecules of air.
There are insects here en masse
And a trillion blades of grass
And a thousand strands on every head of hair.
A lot of little grains of dirt make up this planet,
A billion atoms on the head of every pin,
A million birds that all can fly,
A trillion stars up in the sky,
And all the many different people there have been!
The Warners:
But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
Yes there is nothing else exactly like you are!
As you're unique and you're terrific
And you're kinda built specific
'Cuz there's no one else the same
As the person you became.
Wakko:
In fact you're kind of weird!
Yakko:
But we like you just the same!
The Warners:
'Cuz you're the only one of you there are!
Baba-dootin baba-dootin' baba-doo-bah!
'This has been another episode of Galactic Idol, Goodnight!' Atomic Betty announced.
'Goodnight everybody!' Yakko exclaimed.
Dot's Poetry Corner
'And Now Dot's Poetry Corner'
'Freedom. Freedom to joke, freedom to laugh
Freedom to get the things I never had, Freedom to bring smiles to everyone's faces
Let us out of the tower I say! Or we'll ambush the guy who cancelled us either way!
Now I have to tie my laces and I'm going crazy! Thank you' Dot recited as she laughed manically.
'This has been Dot's poetry corner'
End of Skit
I hope you like this very special chapter! If you have any ideas for what I should do with the warners next, then PM me OK? I'll be on a short break cuz I'm going to Ireland on Wednesday and I need to revise for my exams coming up! The warners: 'Hush little fans, Please don't cry. We're gonna sing you a lullaby, a big scary monster man is coming for you; He'll gobble you up like choppy beef stew! Goodnight!'
Read and review or The warners will drive you crazy!
Ranger Grace Out!;)