**Disclaimer I do not own R&I**

She chose fish for the reception. It was a choice of beef, fish, or chicken. That was the menu of the night. Well, she was invited. She was there. She did what she had to and what she should and could. She did as a good friend would.

She chose fish because she remembered teaching Jane how to cut it for the first time.

When she chose it, it was the memory had made her smile, not it just made her cheerless.

The memories that filled her head made her feel as if anesthetic filled her body. She would know. She is a doctor after all.

She felt it in her veins spreading throughout her body. It felt as if she was bleeding out. It was as if Jane were a limb. She wondered if when
she left it would feel as if something of her was missing, like phantom limb. If anything she would feel it in her chest and lungs she assumed.

The drinks started getting to both Jane and Maura's heads and the wedding had not even started. They had already had more than their fair share.

There would be no more chances after "I Do". Harsh thoughts filled her head. She wanted to be caught between Jane and Casey. She had promised she would not make her choose, at that moment it seemed easier. She wouldn't interrupt. She could not.

The chimes went off wedding bells in full force. Maura was in the room with Jane. She was getting ready. Maura didn't want proof that it would not work. This was more proof than she needed.

It had been a month, she was hushed.

"Something new, something blue, and something borrowed darling." Maura smiled as she put a barrette into her hair.

Jane was close to tears as she laughed.

"This is really happening huh?"

"Yeah, sweetie, it is."

"Nothing will change?"

"Everything is going to, but that's okay. J and M forever right?"

Jane choked up. Since she called her M for the first time accidentally it had become their thing. J her new dubbed nickname. She laughed, it sounded as if there should be a heart around Maura's spoken words even though Jane knew it was impossible.

One day she would carve it into a tree, something she had never done, just for herself. To show her she wasn't crazy. Just to see how it looked.

Their initials sounded right together. She felt like a kid again. Only kids thought like this and should think as such.

"Right, right yeah, forever. Two more weeks yeah?"

"We will have our time Jane." She smiled.

Tommy and Frankie walked in. Jane refused to let her father walk her so she divided up the job between her two brothers.

They were ready and whisked her away.

Maura lied, well technically she hadn't. Jane asked if they had time. They would have their time, and they would, in an alternate universe, a place where things were easier and more understood. She was leaving that night.

She hadn't told anyone, but just as Jane knew she wouldn't marry if it were not done right away so Maura knew she would never be able to leave if she stayed one more second after the marriage. She booked the flight and was expected.

She could not stand saying goodbye. It would be too hard.

She did not want to find love anymore. Not unless it was with one Jane Rizzoli.

At this point Ian was not an option, just a distraction. She would at least have purpose over in the new place.

Casey's family was seated along with Jane's and friends from both. War heroes, veterans, and things along those lines were there for Casey.

People she knew from the station for Jane.

She took a seat after her brothers presented her as did everyone else in the group except for the bride and groom. They had taken pictures the day before. Some of Maura and Jane individually smiling to each other, both were looking beautiful, so they would not need to worry about that after the ceremony.

She would be able to enjoy the reception. She took hers next to Angela, who had tears welling in her eyes.

"Doesn't my baby look beautiful?" She asked.

"She is breathtakingly gorgeous." Maura replied.

She smiled towards the petite woman.

Maura was fine. She sat through the main parts of the ceremony. Then, it hit.

They got to the vows. She felt ill. As if someone had punched her in the gut. Someone had sucked all the life right out of her. She could not breathe. Her lungs could not process their functions. She felt suffocated.

She would leave then. She had her bags in her car packed already. She would go to the airport and wait all night if she had to. Insanity was the only way to describe it all every feeling and emotion that filled her.

"I-I" Her voice started to fail her. God knows she tried; she tried so hard to speak. "I have to go out. I need some air. " She murmured to the woman beside her as she started to walk out.

Maura knew that if one could hear heartbreak the whole universe, even the galaxy would have heard hers in the moment.

"Goodbye." She whispered to everyone and everything there, to all the friends and family, her family. It was said to the pieces of her heart that she had left which were in that moment given to the lanky woman standing at the altar. The last part which had been beating was now and would forever more beat for Jane.

Her body was strong as usual but more feminine and soft. She wished she could have seen more of that, the opportunity.

Jane did not notice as she stared on at Casey. She listened to the vows.

So, she walked out. Obviously this reaction was not harsh. Jane did not notice her slip away. This hit her gut once again. She didn't look for her, didn't look toward her. Stupid, why would she? Fantasy, it's all she was, a fantasy.

She was not this type of person. She was always in control. She could take emotion; rain on her house which was empty before Jane.

It would all be left unspoken. That was the hardest part, watching Jane leave, and never knowing, it all unfolding in front of her eyes. She would never know. She remembered the silence during their multiple fights. How she regretted it now.

She knew she would see her one day again. Bitterness would subside. One day they would see each other and share a knowing smile while shopping or doing some obscure thing like that. It would be okay. Today however was not that day.

"In sickness and in health, for better or worse, until death do you part?" Questions the priest.

"I do." Casey says simply, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

"Now if anyone objects to this union speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest states with authority. The room is silent, her stomach drops. Jane's palms were sweaty.

Wait. Wait a minute.

"Wait, aren't you going to ask me what I think?" The detective nervously snorts earning one expression of amusement from the man beside her all his own and the rest of the group watching intently. He always was a little forgetful.

"Oh why of course please pardon me. A Freudian error on my part of course this is, after all, just a formality at this point."

He went through vows but with her this time as should have been expected in the first place.

Jane Rizzoli was expected to say I do.

"I-I-"