Disclaimer - I own nothing but my twisted mind.
We stay like that, unmoving, and it feels so right that I give in to it. If God is testing me, then I believe that I am about to fail.
"I need to see you," I whisper.
"Meet me tonight. Do you know the Well Care Veterinarian Centre? I can meet you there anytime."
As wrong as I know it is, I send a prayer of thanks. I am thankful for my understanding friend who had not questioned my strange request earlier in the week.
"I know it…I asked Emmett to show me where you worked."
"Tonight, then. At eight. I will be waiting for you, Edward," she says and walks from the confessional booth.
I sit there in agony, a mess of conflicting emotions, breathing in the scent she has left behind.
Bella's POV.
Eight o'clock can't come fast enough. Waiting is like foreplay—a slow, torturous teasing of the senses. The anticipation of seeing him, touching him, kissing him, has me unable to eat or think straight.
I watch the clock and check the batteries as the hands are moving so slow. I shower—twice and brush my teeth three times. After the fourth change of outfit, I give up waiting and leave. It's seven pm. I arrive at my destination just after seven-twenty.
I let myself inside the huge white building where I work. There are no people around at this time of night because everyone finishes up at six, but if anyone sees me, then they would think nothing of it. We often keep sick horses on the premises, and it's not unusual for me to check on them when we are closed.
The only horses we have stabled at the moment are an old foster mare and foal. As I walk to the big indoor, straw filled stalls, I watch them idily, scratching the old mare behind her ears, and letting the foal gently snuffle my fingers.
The mare is a black and white Gypsy Varner, with huge feathered feet. Her fostered foal, a classy, leggy Warm Blood huddles by her feet. They are a strange combination of tradition, and young innocent beauty—thrown together because one had lost it's mother and the other it's child.
They had taken to each other immediately and had a true bond. Observing them, knee deep in straw, content and happy, I only wish my life was that simple.
I hear the bell and glance at the clock. Seven-thirty.
I turn away from the horses and go back to the main entrance. Taking a deep breath I open the door. Edward is early too, and looks as nervous as I feel.
My breath catches as I stare open mouthed at his utter perfection. He is wearing all black, and worryingly, his dog collar is in place. His smile, shy and sweet, gives me hope. He only just meets my gaze before looking back down to his feet.
He seems to shuffle a little uncomfortably and mumbles, "Hi."
I feel nervous and awkward as if I were seventeen again. All this morning's confidence has evaporated without the partition between us. Or maybe it's the dog collar reminding me about the sin I am committing, and the fact that I want to commit far worse.
"Come in, Edward," I say, and motion with my hand for him to enter. He steps inside, running his hands through his hair and looking about—looking everywhere but at me.
Neither of us says anything more as we walk through the long white corridors, and I head naturally towards the mare and foal that I was previously petting. Once we get there I lean over the door watching the foal feed contentedly from its foster mother.
"How long have you worked with horses?" he asks, and for the first time he looks at me. He is standing a slightly behind, so if I want to catch his eye I have to turn a little, but I decide against it. Instead, I continue to watch the foal as I answer.
"I have worked with them since I qualified to be a veterinarian when I was twenty-four. So, three years, professionally, but I have loved them since I was a little girl. My dad finally gave in and got me riding lessons when I was eight, that was when the love affair began." I stretch out my hand and the inquisitive little foal pushes his nose into my palm.
"How long have you been in the Church?" I ask.
"Forever." His reply sounds desolate. Taking a breath he continues. "I was ordained five years ago."
He looks at his hands and twists them nervously. I congratulate myself on mentioning the only thing he probably doesn't want to talk about.
"Do you like them? Horses, I mean," I ask, trying to steer the conversation back into more comfortable territory.
"I've never really been around them," he answers. Looking at him from the corner of my eye, I see he looks nervous, his hands repeatedly running through his hair. I wish I could run my fingers through it, but I resist the urge to do so.
I reach into my pocket for a tip-bit.
"Here," I say, and place it in his hand. He looks at the small green square and then brings it up to his nose to sniff. He holds it out to the foal in his fingers.
"Not like that." Grabbing the sleeve of his shirt, I pull his hand back from the foal's open mouth. "Not if you don't want to get bitten, anyway." I gently stretch his hand out flat. "Keep your palm and fingers flat, like this." Placing the treat in the center of his palm, I tentatively put my hand under his and move them forward together.
The little foal's velvet muzzle takes the treat, and I watch with a smile.
"You know if God created anything more beautiful than a horse, I think he kept it for himself," I say.
"I can't agree with you there." I hear Edward's reply. As I give him my full attention I find he is staring at me so intently, with a passion in his eyes that could scorch us both.
My hand is still underneath his, until he turns so that we are palm to palm. Never letting me leave his gaze, he slowly begins to trace the outline of my finger tips with his own. Drawing his fingers down towards my palm he traces little circles.
I am powerless to move. The onslaught of blissful sensation that are traveling down my arm, and his hypnotic eyes are to much. I have to remind myself to breathe.
He steps in closer to me, and leans his face towards my ear. I feel his cheek brush against mine and his breath against my neck. He smells of soap, tea tree, and mint—almost edible.
His voice is no more than a whisper. "I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever, or will ever see—on Earth or in Heaven."
When he pulls away, my knees are weak. I want him to kiss me so bad that I'm worried I might actually jump on him if he doesn't do it soon. My stomach is doing somersaults and I feel light headed.
It's not like me not to go straight for what I want, but I am listening to some sixth sense. Watching his gorgeous green eyes, I see that they are filled with confusion.
They flick down to my lips, and I can't help slipping my tongue out a little to wet them in anticipation of what is to come. The slight but significant action makes him groan. I take this as a good sign and move a little closer to him. Our hands are still connected and he raises his towards my face. He uses the back of his fingers to trace from the tip of my ear, along my jaw line but stopping at my chin, leaving my skin tingling from his touch.
My hand falls from his and my breathing becomes shallow and fast as his other hand snakes around the back of my low pony tail. He caresses the tiny hairs at the back of my neck and they stand on end. Shivers running down my spine.
"I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this," he mutters, and shakes his head a little.
Before he draws away from me, and ignoring my sixth sense, I grab the front of his shirt. The crisp cotton feels smooth against my finger tips, and I pull him closer.
"Yes, you should, Edward. Let me show you why." I push myself up on my tiptoes, and place my lips on his.
It's meant to be the most gentle of kisses, and at first it is, our lips joining once, twice, three times. His hands move to hold my face while his thumbs trace my cheekbones.
I open my eyes to look into his, and there is no confusion there now. Only a white hot heat that makes me want to drop my panties immediately.
I kiss him again, a little harder this time. I catch his top lip between mine, and the stubble scratches me softly. He responds by moving one of his hands around to the back of my head, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. The other hand falls to my waist.
I run my palms from his chest, up around his neck, to the back, where I finally get my fingers in that hair of his. It feels soft against my fingers, and I grab handfuls and tug gently. As I do so, my top rides up half an inch—enough for his fingertips to touch my bare skin, and the sensation sends shivers through my whole body.
"Bella," he groans, and pushes me against the stable door. His mouth is as hungry as mine, and as I let my tongue trace his lips, he opens his own in welcome. He tastes of mint—fresh and clean. Our tongues collide and massage each other, so wet and warm.
The sound of our lips moving together and our heavy quick breaths is multiplied a thousand times and it's all I can hear. He fills all my senses. There is only him.
I push my crotch against him, trying to create some friction to ease the throbbing.
His hand that's on my waist inches up inside my top, and begins tracing my spine with tortures slowness. Every tiny hair on my body rises, as if in anticipation of his touch. He travels downwards, moving under the waist of my skirt until he encounters the top of my panties. His fingertips trace the top edge of the material.
"Don't stop," I plead.
"Bella, what are you doing to me?" he whispers in my ear, and his voice is thick with longing. Then he takes the lobe in his mouth, biting gently as his hand slips half an inch lower.
"Yes, Edward. Yes."
I grind into him, and I can feel his cock as hard as marble through the thin material of his trousers, digging into my stomach.
His hand leaves the top edge of my panties, and I moan a little in frustration. I want to feel his hands on me.
I'm not frustrated for long as hesitant fingers run the length of my skirt. They stop at the hem and dig into my flesh with a firm pinch. He hitches my leg up around his waist, the material of my skirt falling back to expose the flesh at the top of my thigh. Hooking my calf around his waist I feel his belt biting into the skin there. His hand runs up and down my leg sending wave after wave of pleasure through me.
His cock is now perfectly placed and I couldn't be happier—well, unless we were naked—then I would be walking on air.
My lips are at his neck, kissing his pulse point. My tongue flicks out as I nibble and suck. His skin tastes of salt, and as I hear him murmur his appreciations, I can feel the vibrations through my lips.
I can't help it as my hips buck against him, causing the sensations that are building inside me to soar.
His lips are back on mine—harder and more urgent than before. The hand that is around the back of my neck moves to the front. It lingers there, tracing circles, and then slowly moveing downwards over my shirt and around to the side of my breast. His thumb just grazes my nipple gently over and over. They're already so hard, aching for a stronger touch—for the feel of his skin on mine without the layer of satin between us.
I keep bucking against his erection, helping my orgasm to build, wishing the friction would burn through our clothes. I realize that he is thrusting, too.
I'm dry humping a priest against a stable door. I suddenly have the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it, but I snap out of that train of thought.
"Bella. Bella. Bella," his voice whispers against my ear. His breath is hot against my jaw and I'm riding on a wave of pleasure.
"Edward," I cry out as the sensation explodes from between my legs, radiating out through my body. My muscles clench over and over as I pull his mouth to mine.
I can feel a warm sensation against my panties.
I've just made a priest cum in his pants—I'm going to hell for sure.
Suddenly his hands are no longer on me. His lips have left mine, and as he pulls away my hold on his neck breaks, I find my hands by my sides. The heat of him is gone so suddenly that I feel disoriented.
He is shaking his head. "What am I doing? I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I reply, and try to move against him once more, but he steps back.
"I have to go," he says and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I shouldn't have come." With a shake of his head he turns from me, and heads back the way we came.
"Don't you dare leave me, Edward," I growl. I am furious with him all of a sudden. How could he be sorry about this? This was right.
He stops and turns, and his face so sad it could break my heart. My fury dissipates, and is replaced by compassion.
"I don't want to. . ."
"Then don't."
"I have to, Bella. When I'm around you I can't think straight. What I have just done…I can only ask you to forgive me. You deserve better. I have nothing to offer you," he says and holds his hands out in front of him palms up.
"I don't want anything but you," I cry and step towards him, but he steps back, refusing to let me close the distance between us. "And what we have just done has sent me to Heaven and back for a few brief moments. It felt so good, Edward. No other man has made me feel like this."
He clenches his hands into fists, and spins round, walking stiffly to the exit.
"Don't you dare feel guilty over this. Everything about us feels right. There's no way it can be wrong," I call after him as he flees.
I don't follow, and I don't know how I feel.
Scrap that. Yes I do—I'm frustrated as Hell.
Glancing at the clock, I see I've been here for half an hour.
If I didn't know it before, then I know it for sure now—I am in love with him.
My skin still burns from his touch, and I feel his absence like a missing limb. I know we should be together—deep in my soul with such an intense certainty that it scares me. Even though he ran from me, I know that he knows it, too. I saw it in his eyes.
Locking the main doors, I turn to leave with a sigh. I had no idea it was possible to feel this happy and sad at the same time. It's as if I can feel the earth moving under my feet and can't keep my balance. That must be the reason it's called falling in love.
A/N Okay, so how many of you are scrolling down and going, "Where's Edwards POV?" Don't worry, he is getting the whole of the next chapter, starting where this one stops.
If you would like to read Edwards POV of the above however, just let me know and I will send it to you. This is not a vain attempt at reviews (although they're always nice. lol. ) As you can PM me for it, or find me on Facebook, where it will be posted in my notes soon.
Please take into account when you read it, that it will not have been beta'd.
On that note, thanks to my beta's Leanne and Isabel. I love you guys lots and lots like jelly tots!