Penumbra
[Josh/Wendigo!Josh x Reader]

Chapter 9

A/N: Again, thanks for all the faves and follows, and to Acro111 and Agnes for your reviews. And Agnes, just keep your fingers crossed! X'D. Anyway, the final part is scheduled for release tomorrow, and I think the finale of this coincides nicely with this time of year, where everyone is getting hyped for Halloween :D

Yet again, he chose to run away.

Run away from his problems.
Run away from his fears.
Run away from you.

And the guilt quickly set in.

As Josh's own Wendigo-fuelled footsteps carried him far far away from you, and ever deeper into the mine, he was haunted by thoughts of what would happen to you now that you were alone. If you died, or were hurt, he could only hold himself responsible. He had abandoned you...

But what would have happened if he had stayed? What if he had properly attacked you, shoved you down and tore you apart just so he could get to that precious carmine flesh of yours? Exposed your ribcage, and everything that kept you running...ate every piece until there was nothing left but a head, serving as some sort of makeshift trophy?

You'd have died then too. And it would have been worse. You, killed by him. Him, killing you.
Neither party won in that sort of situation.

At least...she stands a chance if I leave her now...
I just can't bear to...I can't...I can't...

Josh gripped his head and stumbled while he ran, cutting a haphazard zigzag across the rock-laden path.

I'm...a monster. But I...don't want her to remember me that way...

And just like that, his thoughts seem to finalize it. He wouldn't be going back to see you again. He hoped he wouldn't meet you again.
That was it. It had been a lousy farewell, but a farewell nonetheless.

In his eyes...it was done.

…

But in your eyes, it wasn't.

You didn't care what Josh was, or what he thought he was, or what he looked like, or whatever. To you, he was still Josh. He still pulled back before he bit you. He still ran away because he wanted to protect you. That proved his humanity was still there, at least fully enough to tinge his actions with morality.

And so long as there was still a part of Josh that was the boy you knew, you weren't going to give up on him. So, relentlessly, you chased him through the mines, hopping and leaping over any debris in your path, ducking under uneven stalactites that had formed below the ceiling.

Yet as fast as your legs carried you, they weren't speedy enough to catch him. You lost sight, then sound of him, and eventually you were alone. Though you kept running at full pelt on the straight paths, any crossroads would cause you to stop and consider for a few moments, guess, then proceed. It had turned into a wild goose chase, but you were determined nonetheless. You had gone through worse than this to come after him, after all. Hannah nearly ripping your head off was still a vivid memory...

You came to another crossroads, a split between a sloping path and a narrow crevasse, when suddenly there was a loud noise. It sounded in the distance, like some sort of scream, but it was so distorted that you couldn't determine whether it was human or not. Listening closely to the lingering echo, you determined that it had come from the fissure in the wall, and without wasting a single second, you squeezed yourself through.

Now, you weren't claustrophobic, but you doubted anyone would feel comfortable when they were in a space this tight, especially in a place as creepy as this. The walls of stone around you were slightly moist and clammy, and seemed to cling to your skin as you pushed through. Stray pieces of jagged rock that jutted out caught on your clothes and flesh, tearing each equally. You ignored the feeling of blood oozing from your palms and arms, and the wet smears of dirt that coated your cheeks, as you urged yourself onwards.

Breathing faster...your mind started to reel as you ventured deeper into the crack. What if it only got narrower and narrower as you went along? What if, eventually, you stopped being able to move forward, and couldn't move back either? Imagine getting stuck here...all alone...dying a slow and dehydrated death...while your lungs were squeezed, your body trapped in a natural vice.

However, eventually, thankfully, you forced your body out into a wide open area, with walkable structures that extended rather high on either side of you. Partially broken fences of wire mesh lined the area, and part of an iron ladder lay in the dirt to your right, along with a wide hole which you made sure to avoid. And with narrowed eyes, you peered into the darkness on your left, seeing something red, and flickering, which grew larger as you walked into the centre of the area.

As your gaze adjusted to the dim light, you realized that the erratic red glow was coming from some kind of switch, and said switch was inside an old elevator. The fact that any light was coming from it at all told you that it was still functional...hopefully.

That's our way out of here...
I just need to find Josh first, and then we can finally leave this fucking place...

…

"Josh...Josh...Josh..."
"WHAT!?"

His screaming exclamation resounded throughout the cavern, but a hand quickly expunged his speech before it could sound again. Yet this hand wasn't soft and sweet like yours. It was cold and bony, with skin like dry, rubbery leather, and claws that ominously traced upon and dug into his skin. And those claws found a similar feeling to their own flesh.

Not long now...

"Josh...we must be quiet...or she'll find us. Hush..."
"...Who...who's...?"

Josh's voice was stuttered, and nervous, even as it sounded inside his own head now. It wasn't like he could speak aloud in his current predicament anyway. However, that was alright. She still heard him, loud and clear. Their bond was just that strong.

"You're tired Josh...you're so pale..."

Hannah's face gradually began to show itself, as his glazed eyes focussed, and his Wendigo gaze revealed her to him. Even in this skewed vision, she was ever so horrifying. Yet his twisted mind began to see her former self, instead of the hideous monster she had been replaced with.

A bald scalp was suddenly laden with thick, dark locks. Bulbous bluish eyes turned smaller, and innocent again, even if she still looked strange without her glasses. Her lips returned to some kind of normality, no longer peeled back to accommodate large, shark-like teeth. And her skin grew rosy and warm again, ceasing to be so taut around her bones. Her hand turned plush around his jaw, as she gently slipped it away, letting him part his lips and breathe the dank air into his stifled lungs again. His voice now sounded aloud, though Hannah would have heard it in all forms.

"Hannah..."
"You haven't been eating...have you Josh?"

He looked aside, and subconsciously curled his arm closer to his stomach. Admittedly, there was an empty, gnawing feeling there, and the more he thought about it, the more the organ seemed to twist and curl inside him. How had he been able to ignore this? It hurt...it was torturous...

"You're making your sisters worry, Josh. You don't want to make us worry, do you?"
"...Sisters?"

Josh stared at her with bewildered eyes, and she gave him a charming smile, before pointing over his shoulder with a slender, decidedly human finger. He slowly turned to see what she was indicating, and his eyes went even wider when he saw her standing there.

Beth. But she wasn't grotesque and deformed as he usually saw her. She looked just as human as Hannah did, perhaps even healthier than she had when she was alive. She gave him that warm smile too, the kind that made his aching eyes tear up.

"Beth..."
"Josh...Hannah's right...we're both so worried about you..."

Her voice was cloying and concerned. Even in life she had never sounded so kind and caring as she did now. The tears that had welled now rolled down his cheeks.

"I...I don't know what to do...I don't..."
"You need to eat something Josh...you're going to get sick if you don't..."
"We don't want that Josh...we don't want you to die too..."
"Though we never really did die, did we Josh? We're always here...we're here to help..."
"So just do what we say...that's all..."

Their voices were starting to sound similar. Of course, they were twins, so this had always been the case. Yet even Josh couldn't tell them apart anymore. And their figures were fading from sight, his own vision clouding with a thick shadow and obscuring their forms. His fingers went to his temples and he dug his knife-like nails right through them, ignoring the warm treacle that spilled out. He doubled over, and his maw hung open, but rather than a wretched scream, the only thing that emerged from his throat was a struggling moan.

"Poor Josh...poor poor Josh..."
Just Hannah now.
"Eat something Josh..."
Her hand was snaking up his face again.
"Eat her Josh..."

It didn't feel human at all.

…

"...Josh...I-"

Your throat was tight. The phone receiver felt boiling hot, as it pressed against your ear. Your parted lips hovered over the speaker, yet the sentence turned to sand on your tongue. What could you say that would justify it? How could you possibly apologize to him after what had happened, when apologies would never be enough?

You didn't know what it was like to lose a sibling. You had always been an only child, and the only loss that had ever happened in your family was a distant aunt dying peacefully in her sleep one night. Hardly traumatic.

As you stood there in the hallway of your house, plush carpet underfoot and the dim sound of the TV in the living room serving as a backing track, you were awash with a rotten feeling of guilt. Weren't you just phoning him up to get the weight off your mind? Didn't you just want to...set this all aside and...move on with your own, perfect little life?

Yeah. Just forget what happened. Forget that you and Hannah were ever friends. Same with Beth. Forget about them both, and just move on.

You stared at the wall. Your parents proudly kept your grades displayed there, for anyone and everyone to see. Right there in the entryway to your house. Even the broadband man had been privy to your grand achievements, when he had come over this afternoon. At this rate, you were on track for your number one university choice. You had the chance to do your dream degree.

...And who did you have to thank for that?

Oh yeah. The girl who had sat with you in class and helped you answer every question that stumped you. The girl who had invited you over on Thursday evenings for cheerful study sessions, sitting with you on her bed and sharing chips while you both mulled over equations. The girl who had sat on that very same bed and confessed her love for a certain ladies man.

The girl who you wanted to forget.

"[Y/N]...are you...are you there?"
Josh sounded confused, and a little worried, on the other end of the line. No wonder too. You had been standing there in silence, refusing to proceed for a good few minutes now. What had you even been about to say?

"Josh, I'm really sorry about your sisters, anyway, wanna go see a movie this weekend?"
Or how about...
"Josh, I am so sorry about what happened. Lets go have some drinks to take the edge off, yeah?"
Or even...
"Josh, I've been thinking, maybe the best thing we can do is just move on. Beth and Hannah would want that."

Yeah. Magically making it all better with a single phonecall. Bandaging all wounds.
Who did you think you were?

"Are you still there? [Y/N]?"
"..." You paused for a moment, before finally clearing your throat, and forcing out an answer. "Um...yeah...sorry, I just heard a noise and I was...uh...anyway-"
You swallowed thickly, before boldly pushing onward,
"-I...really don't know what to say. Except...I'm sorry."

Josh went silent.

You cringed a bit, already convinced you had selfishly messed up, but proceeded anyway. The hole was probably already too deep to get out of, even if only after a handful of words.
"And I know that 'sorry' doesn't make up for anything, and I wish I could go back and just...turn back time and just...make it all...un-happen, y'know? I was such a...a fucking coward and I-"
Your voice cracked, and when Josh heard it, he quickly cut you off.

"[Y/N], don't cry, please. You don't have anything to feel bad about, okay? I don't blame you for anything." He let out a little sigh, before continuing. "Is this why you called? To apologize?"
"...Yeah..." You sniffed, holding the phone away from you while you wiped your eyes on your baggy sleeve, before returning to it. "Yeah, yeah I...I just felt like I ought to say something. But I know it's not enough."

"...Thanks, [Y/N]."
Your moist eyes widened.
"I'm sure that...that they would he happy to hear that. And I'm sure that they don't...hold any grudges or anything..." He sounded like he was struggling to speak about them, but he too pressed on. It wasn't an easy conversation on either end.
"-And it's funny that you should phone, actually, because I was thinking that...y'know, I know it's still the start of the year but, maybe we could all get together for our...winter getaway again? Next year?"

There was another long silence over the phone. You could hear your dad putting plates away in the kitchen.
"...Are you sure Josh? You don't have to force yourself-"
"No I, I want to. I think it would be good if we could all, y'know-"

You took a sharp breath as he finished.

"-move on."

…

When you saw them, you flinched, and were silently thankful that you hadn't moved earlier. Seeing Josh was, of course, a relief. But seeing Hannah with her claws around him wasn't so comforting. You had finally found him, conveniently here in this elevator room. But he was in the palm of his sister, and you knew she'd be making him dance soon enough. He was already practically on his knees and groaning, his monstrous hands clawing and gripping at his face.

Blood.
Trickling down to his jawline...

You grit your teeth angrily while you watched the Wendigo cooing to him. You didn't know what she was saying, since all you heard was a twisted little series of grunts and yelps. But whatever she was saying, he was listening. And his eyes were darting madly, and he looked scared. And you wanted to rush forth and hold him close but you couldn't.

There you stood, rigid and still, like a coward. Hannah wouldn't notice you, so long as you kept quiet and didn't move. But the longer you remained in your place, the more time she had to corrupt the mind of that innocent boy. Her deformed, jagged fingers ran through his dark hair in a petting motion, as she appeared to be comforting him. You tensed further, as her spidery body circled around him, her mouth pulled into a horribly wide and twisted smile.

You couldn't watch this.

"HEY!"
Such a simple word, yet her eyes were on you in a millisecond. However, she let out no hideous scream, nor did she dart towards you with the superhuman speed you had come to expect from these creatures. No, instead, she simply calmed her initial alertness, and instead turned her eyes onto Josh instead.

Josh...
No...

Not Josh.
The boy that slowly stood and lowered his frantically scratching hands away from his temples, who inhaled deeply and gradually pivoted his body to face yours, whose clouded eyes glowed just as bright as the glow in the elevator...was not Josh.

Not anymore.