No one is speaking and the silence is deafening.
They have exhausted every lead, not that they had many to begin with and it now appears that Gibbs has given up, he didn't think that was possible, because they do not know where he is, they don't have a clue where he could be.
They don't know because they do not know him, they have never known him. They only ever met the mask.
He's racking his brain trying to think of somewhere DiNozzo might go to... He doesn't allow the thought to finish.
Then he remembers.
He looks up as he hears the elevator and watches Tony stride towards his desk, he looks a little frazzled. Then he sees his legs.
"Tony, why the hell are you covered in mud?"
He looks up startled. "What?"
"Your pants DiNozzo, what have been doing this morning?"
He moves his gaze from his dirty trousers and looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
"I was at a football field"
"You were playing football, in a suit?" his voice is incredulous. Why would someone play football in a suit, this early in the morning? He knows Tony has some quirks but this is just plain madness.
He lets out a little chuckle as he answers. "I wasn't McGee"
He opens his mouth to speak but Tony beats him too it.
"I was thinking"
"You can think?" The sarcasm escapes before he can even process the admission Tony just made.
There is an odd look in his eyes as he says "oh yeah McGoo, I can think" he continues before he can comment.
"I can think of all the beautiful touchdowns I made, all the great passes and if I do say so myself, my exceptional skills as an athlete and of course those cute little cheerleading outfits"
He rolls his eyes and goes back to his work, typical Tony.
When Ziva arrives he is still twisting his body trying to get a better look at the mess, she raises an eyebrow but does not comment and he forgets that Tony let his walls down for a moment.
He never knew what Tony was thinking about that day. He feels yet another stab of guilt as he remembers he never asked.
He recalls other details now, things he overlooked at the time.
He can see the dark circles under the other agent's eyes, the paleness of his features and the slight shake in his hands, as he powered up his computer.
"I think I might have an idea where to find him" their heads shoot up at once, Ziva's face a picture of hopefulness. Gibbs is more restrained but he reads it in eyes, he figures it mirrors his own.
So he tells them about the conversation, if that's even what it was.
Ziva just looks at him.
Gibbs speaks. "A football field"
"That's what he said boss"
"There are a lot of football fields in D.C yes" He knows Ziva is right but that doesn't stop his frustration from building, because this is the closest they have been to finding him.
"Then we'll search them all" That sounds more like his boss, determined, focused, he is relieved at the return of the formidable man.
He turns to his computer to find out just how many football fields they are going to have visit. He realises it doesn't matter, he is not going to give up.
He is going to show Tony that he cares about him, and if it doesn't make a difference then at least he tried. Maybe that's all Tony wants from them.
Maybe he needs to believe that he is worth their efforts.
He hopes he gets the chance to show him that he is.
...
Five fields later and still, no DiNozzo. He hates this, almost hates him for putting them through it.
He is proud that Tim remembered his chat with Tony, he's glad he came in covered in mud that day, he has hope again now it is burning through him as he knows the possibility of finding him has risen.
It makes sense now he thinks about it. That Tony would go to a football field.
He knows that football was a kind of haven for Tony as a child, an escape of sorts, from the harsh reality of his life. He would have relished the idea of being part of a team, of being depended on. It would have made him feel like he belonged. A feeling he must like to remember. He was good too, really good, could have gone pro if he never got injured. Not that Tony ever talks about that.
He presses down on the gas a little harder and he wills the car to speed up, he notes that there have been no protests about the speed he is going, or the way they are being thrown around.
Questions begin to bounce around in his mind and he knows his team will be thinking the same things.
Are they already too late?
Have they already lost him?
Can they even stop him from pulling the trigger?
Can they really save him from himself?
A/N Will anyone kill me if this doesn't have a happy ending?