"Dez, wake up."

Rolling over, I opened my eyes and looked into my friend's. The fires had gone out, and the rooms was freezing. I rubbed my arms, drearily looking around, try to focus.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No. Come."

He helped me to my feet, and handed me my pack. I put it on my back, yawning, cold, and tired. The mattress hadn't offered me a good sleep, and it stinks like burnt flesh down here. I have no room to complain, though. My ghoul friend had slept in a chair, that's worse than any old mattress, I guess.

Leading me down the stairs, I stuck close to him, following him through the twists and turns of the tunnels. He didn't speak, and I didn't ask any questions. Our feet, and a distant hiss every once in a while, was the only noise we heard. I tried to block out the hissing, tried to not let it bother me, but it was no use. Once it was in my ears, it rang, and made my whole body shake. I stepped closer to my friend, each time their cries echoed loud enough, and I closed my eyes, trying to block out the world. I hate it out here, it's horrible, it is.

I remained silent as he led me outside. He climbed up the small building that housed the door, reaching down to help me up.

"Why'd you wake me up so early?"

I said, yawning, stretching. He stood next to me on the roof, facing East. Crossing his arms, he looked off into the distance, and I saw the faint orange glow of the rising sun.

"Do you see what I see, Dez?"

Nodding, I held back another yawn and wiped some sleep from my eyes.

"It's the sunrise."

"Have you ever seen the sunrise over the Capital Wasteland?"

Thinking, I realize I hadn't. I was always asleep too late, or locked in the Citadel. I only ever saw the walls of that place, never anything outside of it.

"No…not that I can remember."

I watched the sun slowly peak over the sand and dirt, over the buildings, and I felt the first few rays of warms in my bones as it hit my flesh.

"I want you to understand something."

He said, and I nodded, but didn't look away from the sun.

"What?"

"Today, you are going to be faced with a task. Today you are going to witness death first hand, and hear the screams and cries of people begging for mercy. You will see the ugliness that has plagued this world, the death and torture. You will see pain, and watch families be torn apart. It will be the hardest thing you have ever witness since leaving the Citadel."

My heart froze, and I couldn't speak. I blinked, looked up at him, terrified.

"I want you to remember, that even though there is so much ugliness in this world, there are moments and scenes, that make up for it. There are times in lives, that are so filled with emotion and pleasure, we cannot compare them to anything, but simply acknowledge their existence, and move forward."

Staring at the rising orange globe, I swallowed hard. He's right. If…if they want to go on with what they talked about, then I'm going to have to help. I'm going to have to chase people from their homes, and fire a gun. I'll see death, for the first time since I've been out here. For the first time in my new life. I don't want to. I don't want to see it now, at all, or ever. I think in the past, I've seen it enough for me to last a lifetime, or two. I can just feel my insides shaking, churning, twisting with the thought of what I might have to see, what I have to take part in. I'm not ready for that.

"I…I can't do that…"

I said, feeling the warm glow wash over me. I'm sorry, but I can't. I just can't bring myself to hurt people. Sure, they may hate Roy and they may not like ghouls, but that's no reason to kill them.

"Why?"

He asks me like it's a justified question. Like it was something people actually wondered about out here.

"Because I can't! They didn't do anything to me, and-and I don't even know how to shoot a gun, let alone kill someone."

I glanced at him, and caught the look in his eyes. There was no comfort or safety, there was only the harsh, mean truth of reality.

"You have no choice. If you do not kill, you will be killed. You cannot walk around this world, expecting people not to harm you because you did no harm to them."

"Why?"

"It is unrealistic. People out here wish to survive, and they will do anything to do that. People aside, there are also insects and animals that will have no problem making a short meal of you."

He's right. There's no other way to deny it, no other way to say it. I don't like it, but there's no other truth. This is the world, it's cold and mean, and this is what I have to do to survive. If I don't help them, I have this strong feeling, Roy or him, will get me back for it. I don't know how, or why, but I do. My heart feels like a brick of lead, like someone's pulling at it, tearing it down and making it sink to the pit of my stomach. I glance over at the tower, frowning. All this, for a home? For shelter? Well, I guess I wouldn't want to live out my days in a sewer, anyways.

"If it makes it easier for you, I will stand by your side during the fight. I will protect you, and ensure that no harm comes to you."

I felt my fingers and hands shake. Just hearing him talk about it was enough to give me the jitters.

"I-I-I don't want to…I can't."

"Then you can allow yourself to fall victim to the feral ghouls. Or perhaps you would rather be shot by a Tenpenny citizen?"

I bit my lip. The sun was higher in the sky now, slowly climbing, slowly warming everything inside of me. Nodding, I agreed with him. I'll help, I have no other choice. I wish I did, though. It seems I'm wishing and hoping an awful lot, for something that doesn't come true. That doesn't seem to happen.

"Okay. I'll do whatever you need me to, I guess."

Sitting down on the roof, I let my legs dangle over the edge. I don't feel afraid of falling, I feel quite numb, actually. Agreeing to take part in a massacre does that to you, I guess. It makes you upset, and it hurts like hell on the inside. I don't know if I can do it. I'm a bit worried of getting hurt, but what other option do I have, really?