Title: Touched by an Angel
Author: loonie_lupin
Fandom: HP, SPN
Rating: PG
Summary: Faced with a horde of dementors, Harry uses a memory he didn't dare before.
For: crossovers100
Prompt: 047. Heart.
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of their respective creator. I own nothing.
Thanks to dixid who read through the story to correct my mistakes. If some are left, they are my own.
047. Heart.
Whenever Harry was in class with Remus, the one where he was trying to learn how to make a patronus, he knew he wasn't giving his best. Oh, he had every intention of really learning how to fight dementors. He knew he simply could not afford not to, not if every single time he was in front of them, he had to relive the memory of his parents' death. Yet, even knowing that, he was still holding back.
A happy memory. That was what Remus had to him. Harry had to use a happy memory to make the patronus spell work and he wasn't very surprise to see that everyone around him thought that the happiest one he had was his learning of the existence of magic. His friends and teachers mostly knew about his family life so, really, why would they think anything else? It wasn't difficult to understand.
When that particular memory hadn't worked the way he hoped, he had tried to imagine his parents. It wasn't really a memory but it had worked quite well, if he said so himself. It hadn't permitted him to perform a corporeal patronus but it had been more than enough to go against the boggart and he had no doubt that, if a dementor was suddenly in front of him, it would be enough to prevent any loss of consciousness. He still knew it would not be enough to fight the creature.
He had gone on with this, practicing and finding a target in real life, so to speak, when Malfoy and his goons had decided to imitate the creature to destabilize him. At least, he knew he could call on a patronus whenever he wanted to but not a corporeal one, not yet.
Later, Harry would wonder how long it would have taken him to find success with the memory of his parents if what had happened hadn't. If he had just continued to train aimlessly, with the same focus, would he have been able to one day make a corporeal patronus, one strong enough to make dementors leave?
He didn't know and never would.
Everything had change the night of Sirius' big escape, when Harry had first been certain it had been his father that had saved them from the onslaught of the dementors. It was strange, his father was dead, he knew that and he was also aware that you couldn't bring back the dead. Yet, he had been so certain it had been him. Who else could it be? There was no one else that looked enough like him and there was no way it could have been him, no?
Yet, apparently, it was. The suspicion had been nagging in the back of his mind since the moment Hermione took them back in time. Yet, there were still some inconsistencies. After all, he wasn't capable of doing such a powerful patronus. Someone else, someone way stronger magically, had to have done it and who could it be except James Potter?
Yet, in the end, Harry found himself in the exact spot where he had thought he had seen his father and, when no one else arrived, when Hermione was watching helplessly from behind him as they couldn't do anything to save himself and Sirius, he realized that no one else was going to come to their rescue. That their savior had actually been himself. The question was how?
He had thought for a second that he should use his patronus but it would never be strong enough. His parents memories', as happy as they made him feel, weren't enough. He loved them, would have loved to meet them, but that would never happen and it kind of dimmed the happiness of his thoughts. Maybe that was the reason that, while it produced something, it would never be enough. Because it wasn't real and would never be and that was a sad thought.
Yet, he had to find something and, apparently, he would because, technically speaking, it had already happened once. Now, he just had to find out what the solution was and he had an idea. He wasn't sure it was a good one, wasn't sure what the consequences would be because it was something else, something he shouldn't have, not according to anyone, but it was a memory, a powerful one, magical and more ethereal that anything in his life.
Castiel.
Castiel was in his happiest memories. The mere fact he would never be alone, that the angel was always there, with him, when he needed him, that he was loved in the purest form of love, that no one on this earth could feel, always made Harry the happiest person on the planet whenever he thought about it.
He thought back about that night, the night Castiel had appeared to him for the very first time, in the form of his vessel and not only by his presence, invisible. The night Harry had realized, with all the awe of a child that he was talking to a real honest to God angel, an angel that was always looking on him. He thought back on everything he had seen in Castiel's eyes, all the love, the caring, things he had never thought anyone would feel towards him and he closed his eyes, savoring the emotions, not seeing Hermione who was looking somewhat curiously at him.
Once he was impregnated with that feeling, he took his wand out, aimed it where he wanted the patronus to appear and announced in a clear voice "Expect Patronus", never once taking his mind off that night that changed his life.
The power of the patronus was almost enough to knock him back as it left his wand. He had never expected to feel anything like this but his heart was overwhelmed by the happiness around him and he understood it was that feeling that the patronus created that the dementors couldn't stand. It was beautiful and the form it took was the one of an angel, the one of Castiel, that night in the Chamber of Secrets. It was the most beautiful thing in the world.
"What is it, Harry?" Hermione whispered, in awe not only because of the strength of the patronus, but also because of its shape.
"My guardian angel," Harry answered and, while he knew that his answer was a truthful one, he also knew Hermione would think he was just telling her that the patronus was looking after him.
Yet it didn't change that the most powerful protection, the one who made him feel the safest, was and would always be Castiel.