There's a rainbow out this morning. It's absolutely stunning. The air is crisp and clean. The roads are muddy. I am buckled up and holding on for dear life in the passenger's seat of Spencer's truck.
"Open your eyes you're missing all the fun!"
"No, I think it's that I'm keeping my breakfast in my stomach."
"It's not that bad," she laughs and I feel the truck going into 360s.
"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer," I'm not sure if I'm laughing or crying.
"Ashley, Ashley, Ashley."
I scream as I feel the truck slide, "please don't kill me."
I hear her put it into gear and we're off again. I know it may not seem like it but I am actually having fun. The only part I don't really like is when she decides to slam the breaks and make a sharp turn. I hit my head on the window. "Spencer geeze!"
"Move to the middle and you won't hit your head so much."
"There's no seat belt in the middle."
"Yeah there is," she holds up the lap belt for me to see.
"You're crazy, that won't hold me in."
"I didn't know you were such a big baby."
"I didn't know you were certifiably insane."
She makes a figure 8 in the field and I flop back and forth from left to right. Just as I start to feel like I'm going to be sick we straighten out.
"We're done?"
"Nope," she says, and I don't like the tone of voice she's using, or how fast we're accelerating.
"Spencer, what are we doing?"
"Heading to Boggy Branch."
"What? Why?''
"It's got the best mud hole in the county."
"Spencer please can we go home please."
"No way, and miss all this fun?"
We hit a pot hole. I bounce, hitting my head on the roof, "this is not fun for me."
She just laughs and hits every hole on the way to the branch. It's nice to see her having such a good time, especially after the other night, but seriously, there has to be a safer way to have this much fun. Out of nowhere she slams on the breaks. I fly forward; get caught the seatbelt and am thrown backwards.
"Spencer! Are you trying to give me whiplash?"
She revs the engine.
"Spencer."
She revs it again, eyes focused.
That is one giant mud puddle.
"Spencer," I say almost pleading.
She revs the engine once more.
"Spencer!"
She guns it. We are flying toward certain death. We fish tail along the road every time she switches gears. This is not good. This is not good. This will not be good. I'm going to die right here in the middle of nowhere with this beautiful girl by my side. She doesn't even know that I like her. She doesn't even know we've kissed. I'm going to a watery grave in the foothills of California and she's never going to know.
We go airborne.
"Do you remember kissing me?" I blurt.
We plow into the water.
The engine stalls.
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
I'm dead. That look she's giving me right now has killed me. I'm dead. I should have kept my big mouth shut. Oh crap and now I'm stuck here in a pool of mud and she's just giving me that look.
Speak.
Speak woman.
For the love of all that is good in this world open your mouth and say anything!
"Water's leaking in."
Idiot!
You can't drop a bomb like that on her then tell her what she already knows!
She's just looking at me!
Why is she just looking at me?
Say something Carlin, say anything at all. Open your mouth and speak to me!
"Yes, it is," she says.
Okay, well at least she's talking….right?
I'm caught in her stare oh those damn blue eyes, why are they so tasty!
"Should we move?"
Idiot!
Since when did I become the Queen of Stupid?
"I thought you were ignoring it."
Oh yes! She's talking. "What? Why?"
"It's been four days, Ash."
"I didn't think you remembered."
I remembered. Did I ever remember. Those lips that flavor, the way her hair smelled as she laid on my chest. Who could ever forget that?
"Ashley?"
"What? Yes no sorry, huh?"
"Why do you daydream so much?"
And the words spew out, "it's because of you. It's because of how awesome you are. Because of how friendly you are. You're amazing, and sweet and beautiful. You're not like anyone I've ever met before. You have such a life force and when you walk into the room I stop breathing. When you look at me those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, they make me forget how to function. And it's crazy I know. I know how crazy it is we've known each other a month. But I'm smitten. I'm absolutely taken by you. You're the star of my daydreams. And this rambling dialogue of what to say to you plays over and over in my head like a radio play. But you weren't single, and I was still heartbroken so all I could do was dream. Then you were single. Then you were drunk. Then you kissed me. And I didn't know if it was because you liked me or if it was because you were lonely or if it was because you were drunk and I was there and it was just a kiss. One kiss that's all it was. And you fell asleep. I didn't know how to tell you, you kissed me. I didn't know how serious you were about ending things with Maria. But mostly I just couldn't drive in the rain!"
My heart is pounding in my ears. Ears that cannot believe they just heard my mouth say all that. My stupid mouth that can't hold water. My stupid heart for having these feelings. My stupid head for meditating on all this. My, god, what a kiss.
Her lips are even softer than I remember them. They taste like honey. Soft, delicious honey.
"So what do you think now?" She asks pulling away, but not too far.
"Why do your lips taste like honey?"
Idiot!
She laughs at me and settles back behind the wheel.
"Sorry," I say sheepishly, "I'm not usually a dweeb."
"I think it's cute."
Well, thank goodness for that.
"Ash?"
"Hm?"
"You're daydreaming again."
"Sorry, I just you and the kissing and I can't make with the thinking."
"So you liked it?"
"Very much."
"Would you like to do it again?"
"Very much."
She leans over and sweeps those soft honey lips on mine. If this were a movie fireworks would be going off over our heads. I cup her cheek and move a little closer. She shivers.
"Good, hey?"
"No, I'm shivering from the water," she smiles, "but yes, it was a good kiss."
"Well, let's get out of here and get dry so we can do it some more."
"Sounds like a plan to me," she says and cranks the truck. The tires spin but we don't go anywhere.
"What's wrong?"
"We're stuck," she says as she puts it in reverse. The tires spin and we jolt back into our hole.
"What do you mean we're stuck?"
She puts on the overdrive and tries to climb out of the hole again. "I mean, we're stuck."
"We can't get out?" I say a little panicked.
"That's what stuck means," she says trying to back out.
"We're stuck, stuck?"
"Yes, Ash, we're stuck."
"What are we going to do?"
"Well, I'm going to keep trying to get us out of this hole."
"But what if you can't"
"I'll call Glenn."
"And he'll be able to get us out."
"You're cute when you freak out; did any one ever tell you that?"
"This isn't funny, we're stuck."
"Ash, it's not like our plane has crashed in the middle of Antarctica."
"Will you stop joking?"
"Only if you stop being so serious, learn to have a bit of fun."
"But this is not fun."
"Being stuck in a truck, with me, isn't fun?"
I blush, "how do you do that!"
"Do what?"
"Make me blush so easily."
"I have no idea. I didn't think it was possible for a rock star to blush as much as you do."
I unhook my belt and move over closer to her. "Should we call Glenn?"
She smiles at me and I melt. "We could do that."
I hand her my phone and she rings him, "Hey, yeah we're having a blast. Only one problem though. Yup. Boggy Branch. Twenty minutes? Why in the world is it going to take you twenty minutes to get here? Oh….oh she is? Really? Well that's just wonderful. No, no don't you dare! Twenty minutes. Okay. I don't know, we'll manage some how." She closes the phone and leans into me. "Now, where were we?"