Chapter Nine

"You're off the hook this time. Next time, it's your loss."

The clock on the living room wall ticked. Ten fifteen. It wasn't that bad to Quinn. "It's only fifteen minutes past. Plus, someone's car was holding me up at the light."

Judy took a sip of some fresh, cold water that sat in her glass. "A lot can happen in fifteen minutes, Quinn."

Quinn scoffed. "What? I could get in a car crash? Mom, I know how to watch over the road. You can stop babying me now."

The blonde teen walked upstairs and dropped her purse on the desk. She checked herself out in the mirror hanging on her wall. Her hair was still straight despite the wind blowing in her car from the elevated car window.

She slipped her shoes off, relieved that she could feel her feet against the bit of breeze and to get the extra tension off. With her mother just on her about curfews, which sounded like nonsense especially to an 18-year-old, she had to take a break from everything.

Quinn came to the conclusion that the Valentine's Day party was a smashing success. She was unable to find Santana after the song, but she at least knew that she and her girlfriend had a blast. The blonde could only think that the two horny teens could be in Santana's bedroom, making out and getting ready to give up themselves once again.

The blonde slipped out of her party dress and took the clip off her head. She put on a jersey pajama shirt with some blue shorts that rode up to her thighs. God, that was the breeze she was waiting for.

She stared into space with almost nothing to do. Her IPhone with the purple casing was on her lamp stand. Listening to music seemed to be the only thing she could do right now.

She put the earphones in her ears and started playing "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes and stretched across her bed. It reminded her of two things: that she won't be alone on those days when she's lonely and down, and him…Joseph.

The one thing she can't put her finger on is why he was so nervous, especially when dancing with her. It's like every time she glanced at him, he would either be sweating or fidgeting.

Plus, he'll move away from her and step to the side a lot. What was wrong?

Quinn found herself to be the attention grabber when it came to boys getting anxious or excited around her. Like the black-haired Cheerio said, Quinn was like a supermodel. It made sense to her, a little. Not entirely, but somewhat..

The blonde's phone erupted with the featured ringtone of the week, Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me". Rachel was on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Hey Quinn. My two dads have me in my room now, so I was wondering what you were up to—"

"Are you, like, stalking me?" Quinn hid her laugh.

"Quinn…how could you say that? I would never—"

"I'm just messing with you."

The brunette on the other line chuckled, curing the cord of the home phone in her bedroom. "I guess you got me on that one."

Quinn laughed and then calmed down with a sigh.

"So, how did you enjoy the dance? I thought it was magical. Finn won some prizes from the game area, but then he wanted to…well, go there with me in the back somewhere. I declined it, though."

Quinn gasped. "Is Finn really that dirty?"

"I guess I have more exploring to do, right?" Her best friend giggled and rested her head on the pillow that sat on her bed.

Rachel drank a cup of pink lemonade her father Leroy provided for her. "Say, Quinn…"

"Yeah…"

"Tell me about Joseph. He seems like a pretty handsome, sweet, caring person. I could tell by the way you were dancing with him. I didn't say anything earlier because—"

Quinn cleared her throat. "I'd…rather not say much."

"Why not?"

"I just…" Quinn wandered around. The poor boy stuck into her head. All she could see that reminded her of him was the nervous wolf eyes on his face, the sweat pouring off his forehead, the stuttering that he couldn't seem to control, and the number of times he headed out to clear himself. "I'm just worried about him, that's all."

"About what?" Rachel ran her hair with the pink comb sitting on her desk. Quinn rolled over on her stomach. "It's kind of…personal."

Rachel smirked. "Oh, so you ask me about me and Finn, and I give you every detail. But when I ask about you and Joe, you're blank!"

"You do the same!"

"Name one time."

"Last week. You never finished that statement you made on what was going with you and Finn last week. It's going on Wednesday, Berry."

Rachel protested back. "Mercedes called you during our talk."

"And you should blame Mercedes for it?"

The brunette folded her arms as she adopted to the blonde's laugh. Oh, that girl. She was a hot mess. "Quinn, seriously. Tell me."

Quinn regained her breathing from the laughter and continued on, randomly playing with the stuffed rabbit on her bed. "I don't know, really. He was kind of sensitive throughout this whole night. He won't stop squirming and sweating."

Rachel imagined when she was in 6th grade, and a boy named Darwin Marcus was onstage for a school musical. For every lyric he got to, either his legs would shake simultaneously or he'll hide his big tomato face from the constant sweating. All of that reminded the brunette of Joe.

Quinn looked down at her stuffed rabbit. When she was only nine years old, Russell had taken her to Build-A-Bear Workshop and made her. The blonde named it Sally McLover. At the time, it sounded like a ridiculous surname, but young Quinn didn't care.

On the little shirt that came with the stuffed bunny was a pair of red lips and hearts surrounding it. She saw that as a symbol of what she witnessed tonight.

Joe's only a sophomore, after all. He's not that daring or comfortable as people like Mike Chang and Noah Puckerman. Furthermore, being that he's an avid Christian, he wouldn't do much when it came to love and stuff like that. The white toy on Quinn's bed was symbolic of him. Sally was a symbol of having a soft side. The blonde thought the two can relate.

"Then when it was time to go, he approached me…" Rachel's eyes were alert. "He told me that I was beautiful. He looked at me with those…those…"

Rachel nodded. "You can say it, Quinn. Don't be ashamed." She paused. "Those lustrous eyes, right?"

Quinn smirked again and heard Rachel cackling.

"Anyways…" Rachel stopped laughing and paid attention again, sipping the last few drops of her lemonade. "He told me that I was beautiful, looked at me, and…well, he wanted to kiss me."

Rachel gushed. The sound of awes blew through Quinn's cell phone.

"But he couldn't."

There was silence at Quinn's last statement. "Quinn, why not? He clearly crushes on you bad."

"I see that, obviously." The blonde played around with Sally. "But that's the part I'm trying to get across. I mean, I know we're not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend or anything."

Rachel brushed her hair. "But you want it to be, right?"

Quinn shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I want."

No one said anything after that. Rachel felt bad for her. She went from being alone to having a good time to being alone again. That wasn't the Quinn Fabray she knew at the beginning of the year.

The blonde aimlessly looked around in her room, having thoughts on what she wants as opposed her love life. Sometimes, the road to love has multiple detours for her. They just weren't right.

Rachel pouted. "Well, I think it should matter, Quinn. You have a lot of needs, especially for your future, such as getting a degree from Yale and…well…"

"I appreciate you trying to help me on this, Rach, but…what really matters to me are the needs like you said. Frankly, I don't want or need a relationship with anyone right now. I need to graduate. I need to go to Yale. I need to make something of myself. I need to make things right with myself after the years of torture."

Those words of strength hit Rachel like rocks. No one else's could be more vivid than hers.

"Are…are you sure that's—"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Joe, we need to talk."

"About what?"

Sam placed his tray beside his on the empty table where Joe was sitting. He didn't seem lively today.

"I just want to know what all happened."

Joe moaned. "Do we have to talk about—"

"Yes, we do. You had a shot with Quinn. I believed in you, man."

"Who said that I wanted something with her?"

Sam folded his arms and stared at the boy. Don't lie to me. Just—come on, don't lie. The same thought repeated the more time it took for the dreadlocked boy to look at him with a straight face.

Joe stared back, but all he could think of right now is how upset Quinn probably is right now. Quinn. Quinn Fabray. Her name called to him and never stopped.

He finally gave up. "Okay…say if I…kinda do want something with her."

Sam nodded and ate a piece of broccoli that sat on his tray. "Yeah, go on."

Joe looked down at the spaghetti on his plate. Combine that with the strange feeling he had at the end of the party, and he felt nauseous.

"In fact, I actually do. I almost kissed her at the Valentine's Day party the other day."

Sam applauded. "Nice."

Joe nodded. "Well, yeah, except…well…I started having…" God, should I tell him this? It sounded really awkward and private to discuss with Sam. He couldn't even look down in his seat at his lap where his privates in his pants contained. He looked disgusted.

Oh God, how do I say this? How do I…?

"Feelings."

Sam was perplexed. He couldn't understand what Teen Jesus was telling him. However, he did have a small hint. He popped a chicken nugget in his mouth. "I see."

Joe looked back at him. "Is that all?" He still felt awkward.

Sam shook his head while drinking his diet Coke. "You've got it bad. You want her. You should get with her."

"I don't know how, though."

Sam shot his head up to Joe's face. "Who doesn't know how to ask a girl to be their girlfriend?"

Joe's fingers reached the cross on the necklace hanging from his neck. His mother and father gave it to him when he was only 8 years old. He would promise them that he would stay pure and wait for sex until he was married to someone he truly loved.

The sex part of that statement was the only thing he thought of the previous night with Quinn. He wasn't ready.

He was closely connected with his mother, and believed that she showed a lot of sympathy and consideration for her son. His father, however, was very strict with him. So if Joe made the decision to be Quinn's girlfriend and go over the limit, he would get what's coming to him.

"It's not that I don't know," he told Sam, who was waiting for a response from him. "It's that…well…the temptation. I can't seem to control myself when I'm around Quinn. But I have to. My mom and dad would kill me if I had relations with a girl before marriage. It's a belief I strongly go by."

Sam nodded. Being in the God Squad with him and the girls, he had it coming that Joe was going to mention his beliefs.

But then, he remembered the couple rounds of stripping he did before transferring back into McKinley. He danced, got paid a lot of money, and even got laid. It seemed like the best guilty pleasure of his time since he started.

"Temptation's not a problem for me."

"Really? How'd you get over it?"

"I didn't really try anything. I mean, I had sex last year at a stripper joint. Wasn't that hard."

What? Joe couldn't believe what he was hearing. Plus, the fact that he thought that Sam had something with Mercedes made Joe to believe that he was even guiltier.

"Sam, that's a sin!" he exclaimed. "We're supposed to wait until we're married."

Sam scoffed and pointed to the tattoo showing in his chest from underneath the sophomore's shirt. "Uh, yeah, and we're not supposed to get tattoos, either."

Joe looked down at his chest where the Bible verse had been printed on. It had been a while since Joe has read the book of Leviticus. He had gotten the tattoo about a year and a half ago.

He gritted his teeth and moaned, recognizing that he had sinned.

Sam drank a little more of his diet Coke. "You see, when you're Christian, there are things we have to…well, hold back on. The tattoos, the partying, the intercourse. Some of those Christians like me won't be able to resist. One day, you won't, either."

Joe's eyes shot back up at him. "How do you know?"

"How can any guy resist a pretty girl like Quinn? She's like the cherry popsicle that every kid on the block craves for in the summer. You can't keep away from her."

"Wouldn't God be mad if we went against him at such a young age? I mean, my dad kinda taught me that the spiritual should dominate over the physical. Then you'd…well, feel closer to God. You know?"

Sam clearly understood where Joe was going with this. He looked so innocent. He never had sex before. Sam also understood how his mother and father would react to Joe doing such a thing.

However, they were both in high school. In high school, there were students who couldn't contain their hormones. The girls went crazy for the boys. The boys went crazy for the girls. They wanted it. They wanted it bad. They wanted it now.

For Joe to exist around horny, hungry teenagers, it was difficult to fight his urge for sex. Even with a girl who has had sex about two years before meeting him.

Sam shrugged as he finished off his nuggets and broccoli on his plate. "It's your choice, though, Joe. You decide. If you want to be closer to God, you keep staying pure and do the right thing. If you want to be closer to Quinn, you've got some changes to make."

Sam got up and brought his tray to the trash.

Joe looked down at his full tray of spaghetti, salad, and lemon cake. He was clueless on what to do, although he took Sam's words into cautious speculation.

As he sat alone and finished his food, he glanced over to another table. Mercedes was headed towards a table where known Glee club members Mike Chang, Tina Cohen-Chang, and Noah Puckerman were sitting. And guess who was with her? Quinn Fabray.

The dreadlocked boy's heart raced. She looked beautiful as always. Her hair still stood golden on her head. The blue dress she wore today looked cute on her, and the flats matched.

Quinn was the only thing Joe could think about ever since the Valentine's Day party. She was wonderful. Why can't he contain himself?

And then, it happened again.

Joe started feeling another erection coming on. His legs shivered in his seat, and his hands gripped the edge of the table. He quickly turned away from Quinn, hoping it would go away if he didn't any attention to her.

Unfortunately, it didn't work at all, and he continued to fire away down there.

He folded his hands, trying to calm himself down, and directed his eyes to the ceiling. The only thing he could do was ask God for answers.

God, I pray to you at this very moment, right now.

I would never go against you. I mean, you've done a lot for everyone. You've done a lot for me. I wouldn't be living if you hadn't done all you did. I wouldn't be growing up alive and healthy if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't even be at this school if you haven't given my mother and father the courage to let me move on.

I'm suffering through a crisis. It's about Quinn. She's not the crisis; it's actually my temptation when I'm around her. I can't control myself. I understand that as a Christian teenager right now that I'm not supposed to have sex or anything until I'm a little older and married to someone I truly love.

But…well, something about her makes me crazy. She captures something in me that makes me go nuts. Is it her eyes? Is it her smile? Is it her voice? I'm not really sure. I need answers.

This makes me wonder if I made the right decision to get out of being homeschooled. I like the people, the classes, the teachers—everything. However, my feelings are trying to take over me somehow. One day, I'll go crazy and end up doing something stupid. Something that you don't approve of. A sin. The tattoos thing, I've already sinned on that, which seemed pretty simple. I apologize for that time, especially.

This is extreme. This is about sexual relationships with a girl. Wait—not just any girl. Quinn Fabray. A senior, for God's sake. She seems more experienced with sex than I am.

If I end up carrying on with this, I'll end up losing my virginity. I'll lose my innocence. My comfort. My sympathy from my father. Jesus, I wouldn't want to look him in the eye and let him yell at me, spitting several rounds of saliva in my face.

I pray to you right now. Help me calm down. Just help me control myself. I can't let my mom and dad down.

I need you. I just need you right now.

Can you please help me? It's all I ever pray for at this moment. Thank you. Thank you so much, God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.