Chapter 9 – part 2

No, there's nothing
that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love

They had waited for Mark to come home, grabbed a coffee, listened to Addison bitch about her cold, and then they had left to go back to Boston. Derek couldn't wait to be alone with Meredith, and it was extremely awkward to stay with Mark and Addie, playing happy friends, when they didn't know where they stand with their relationship.

The first half of the trip home was spent in total silence. Derek had turned on the radio, just to fill the terrible silence. That wasn't them at all.. His best friend and he were able to chat and laugh without even need to stop for breathing. And now, Meredith was humming along with the song, her head resting against the car window, dressed just in light brown shorts, a lace sleeveless blue shirt and ballerina flats. Her hair were down and straight – she had managed to straight her curls in ten minutes before leaving – and the big, pink sunglasses hid her make-up free face.

Derek took a deep breath.
He needed to push the situation a little.

He reached down to put a hand on her knee, her skin hot and soft against his palm. He felt her tremble slightly.

"You're so sexy dressed like that," he told her, her warm voice caressing her ears.

"Uhm – thanks. You too," she replied, eyeing the relaxed muscles behind the white t-shirt he was wearing. Anyway, she constantly thought he was sexy.

"Do you want to go hid in my apartment when we arrive? Or… you wanna go home, maybe?"

"I need to go home and maybe take a shower."

"Wouldn't be the first time you shower in my bathroom," he stated.

"That's true," she bit her lip. "But I was your best friend then. Now I don't know what I am."

"You're…" he sighed deeply. "Well, we're working through you being my girlfriend, I think."

Despite everything, Meredith smile widely. Her elegant hand joined Derek's hard one on her knee.

"Ok, so," Derek started, his smile matching hers. "We go home, you shower, I make us something to eat and we can watch a movie. What do you say?"

"Works for me," she nodded. And then again, the silence came. Derek breathed: "I'm sorry I interrupted your time with Addison but I just wanted you home. I was scared of your feelings. That's what stopped me."

"I've never asked you to feel for me what I feel for you," she remembered him.

"I know. But… you.. still?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Derek…" Meredith breathed. He was almost thirty and yet he was afraid. "Yes. Since the first time I saw you. And I don't see it changing anytime soon. Even if you're brainless."

Derek laughed softly. "Well, I'm glad," he said with that soft, warm, sexy voice which sent thrills down her spine. She dared imagine for a second about his tongue tracing the same path. He laughed again: "I think I might be obsessed with your hair like this," he commented, reaching out to touch a silky, golden lock. "I'm used to it being curly."

"I wanted to change," she shrugged. "I'm glad you like it."

When they arrived at Derek's, Meredith played for a while with Summer, then excused herself to take that shower.

"Are we going out?" she asked, looking into her luggage to decide what to change into.

"No. I mean, do you wanna go out?" he asked. "It's almost five, I thought we could eat here."

"Okay," she nodded. "I'm hungry since we didn't exactly had lunch."

"Go shower, I'll cook," and impulsively, Derek ducked his head down and kissed her on the lips. Her eyes went wide. "Are – uhm. Are we allowed to do that, now?"

"I don't know," he mocked her, his hands going on her hips. "Are we allowed?". In moments like this, he could really see how much she was Ellis' daughter. She was controlled, always, and she had allowed herself to be all over the place a little, when she had told him she was in love with him.

"Mer, we don't have rules," he told her, serious again. "We want to explore what are we feeling for each other, right? So I think we just have to do what we are comfortable with. I just wanted to give you a kiss before you go shower."

"Okay," she nodded. She bite her lip again and Derek found that gesture a little too sexy for his own good. She reached out as well, ready to give him a kiss back. Her hands found their place against his chest and she leaned her body against his. "I'll be back," she whispered, and she pressed her lips against his.

Meredith emerged from the bath fifteen minutes later, and Derek was surprised: he was sure she was the kind of girl who took forever to get ready. She was wearing a yellow sundress with spaghetti straps which reached middle-thigh, a light make up, her hair done like it had been in the car. Plus, she was barefoot and Derek found all of her to be incredibly sexy, once again. How was it possible that he had spent months without realizing how hot she was?

He had cooked steaks and potatoes with a salad, a little table for two ready on the little balcony. Summer had already eaten and was napping on the couch.

"This is beautiful," Meredith commented to the table, set with two candles. "It feels like a date," she murmured.

"Well, it is, " he assured her, helping her with her chair. "It's our very low-key, very informal first date and you look lovely."

She smiled. "Thank you. You do, too, even if you haven't changed."

"I'm sorry I was too busy cooking you dinner, princess."

"It better be good," she commented, taking a bite of her steak. "Okay, it's great. I didn't know you could cook."

"Oh, I do. Always have," he nodded. "And I really enjoy it. I'm sorry I've never cooked for you before, I wasn't a great best friend, apparently."

"You were an amazing best friend. There was plenty of pizza."

"I thought about that for a moment but I wanted it to be different. You're not just my best friend anymore."

"I'm glad I'm not," she murmured, and her light green were full of the answers he needed.

"Come here," he suggested out of the blue.

"What?"

"Come here." He patted his legs.

"I'm eating," she stated.

"I don't care, I want you close."

Meredith's eyes were two pools of confusion. Anyway, she stood up and gingerly walked to him, sitting down on his knees. He hugged her tightly around her waist. The summer air brought sexy scents to the balcony, of flowers, of nights, of dreams, and for the first time since they had kissed on the bench he felt entirely happy.

He looked into her beautiful eyes and stroked her jaw with a finger.

"What's the matter?" she breathed softly.

"Nothing. You're beautiful."

She smiled shyly. "I'm not, but that's okay."

"You're not? Oh, Meredith. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen…" His finger travelled down to stroke the skin of her neck and Meredith shivered in his arms. With one arm, he brought her even closer to his chest and kissed her temple and her cheek, before taking her lips in a long, deep, passionate kiss.

Meredith sighed softly against his mouth, her arms around his neck while her fingers caressed his curls. He kept on kissing her, ravishing her mouth, his hands going down, caressing her hips and her thighs. He wanted to touch her but he was afraid he would push his boundaries a little too far. He knew she was a virgin, even if they hadn't talked about it yet.

Suddenly, without breaking the kiss, Meredith turned her hips and straddled him. They weren't so close that their centers could touch but just the thought of her, so exposed, in front of him, made Derek shiver. He forced himself to pull apart from her, and of course, Meredith noticed his change of expression.

"What's up?" she frowned. "I did something wrong?"

"No," he shook his head. "I thought you wanted to finish your dinner."

Meredith blushed. "I was enjoying the… dessert." She bite her lip again and Derek felt his jeans becoming tighter. He pushed her off his knees.

"Hey!" she protested. "You almost pushed me to the floor!"

"Sorry," he replied, trying to smile. "Do you want more wine?"

She nodded. Something was off. She fought the urge to grab Summer and go home. "Derek, did I do something wrong?" she asked, looking at him straight in the eyes.

"No, Mer. Don't worry."

"So…" she started. She took a deep breath. "Do you want me to stay the night? My mother doesn't know I'm back yet, so we can… talk more." She stressed the word talk.

He gulped. "What? No, no. I…" he swallowed. "I need to – I need to go to work tomorrow morning, so – it's better if you stay over another time".

Meredith nodded, her gaze on her plate. It wouldn't be the first time that she stayed at his apartment while he went to work but anyway, she didn't reply. She just wanted to finish her dinner and go home. She felt the great need to cry but she would rather die that cry in front of him. Apparently, he had took a step in her direction but he was afraid of the physical contact. Maybe he didn't want her? Maybe he just saw her at his best friend? She shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked, and he moved his hand to grab hers, on the table.

"No," she denied, removing her hand quickly from his. She wished to be already a doctor because she needed a fake page to go away. Quickly.

They finished their dinner in silence, then Meredith stood up. Ready to leave.

"Okay, well.. Thanks for dinner. It was… really good. Summer, baby, c'mon!"

The dog arrived quickly, barking excited. Apparently, she was happy to have her girl owner back.

"Are you going already?" he asked, puzzled. "I thought we would watch a movie."

"Well, you need to work tomorrow, you said so yourself. So… you might want to call it a night."

"Mer…" he started, but she didn't give him time. She grabbed her things.

"Let me drive you home."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's a five minutes walk. Summer and I would like some fresh air."

"But you have your luggage."

"Summer weights more and anyway, it has wheels." She smiled. "Good night, Der."

And she was gone.

Derek breathed deeply. She had run. What the hell happened? One minute they were happy, and the next one… he considered running after her but he didn't know how to break the wall she had raised. Little did he know, in thirty minutes he was going to receive a yelling call from Addison.

Here you are… Derek the brainless brain doctor! I'm about to finish my thesis so… I might promise you a new update at the end of the week! And by the way, I'm really considering moving this story's rating to M. Opinions?