Chapter 10

Sean's Point of View

I moved to go after her but the second I got out into the corridor she was already gone. I rushed back to my room and put on some trainers before I grabbed my jacket and car keys. I contemplated telling Han what was happening but as I got to his room I just kept on walking. He wouldn't be happy and Ellie would hate me even more.

When I got outside there was no sign of her. I got into my car and willed myself to drive slow enough to look out for her. I tried to think of the places she might go. We usually went to a lot of the same places so there really wasn't much of a choice unless then she had no plan in mind.

I felt stupid for the way I had brought it up. I should have waited for her to calm down before I suggested that it could have been real, better yet, I should have gotten Han. He would have known how to handle it better. Now she was out there in the worst possible condition. I had screwed up a lot before but I wasn't about to screw up my life in Tokyo and the people I loved here.

Ellie couldn't have gotten too far since she was on foot and had nothing with her to be able to take a taxi. I had never really paid attention to the amount of people there was in Tokyo until I was looking for just one; a needle in the proverbial haystack. This was all my fault and if anything happened to her I would never forgive myself. I was about to swallow my pride and call Han when a light blue ball caught my eye. She stood out against the dark building walls behind her and I parked the car as soon as I could find a spot. I jogged over to where she was sitting on the sidewalk, hands twisted in her hair, looking more broken than I had ever seen anyone before.

"Ellie?" I crouched down next to her but she didn't seem to notice me.

"He's dead…he's dead…he's dead…" She repeated so many times I wasn't even sure if she knew what she was saying anymore.

Ellie's Point of View

I ran until my legs grew weak and my chest hurt with each breath I tried to draw into my lungs. It was like a dam had opened in my mind and images were flashing through so quickly that I started to get dizzy. He's dead. I remembered going to daddy's race, watching Linder clip his car, it slamming up against the cement wall. He's dead. I could hear the screams, I remembered trying to get to him when Vince caught me and held me back. Linder was there. He was standing off to the side with a smug smile on his face as my dad's car went up in flames. He's dead. I remember yelling at him before he put his hands on me and I fell. Daddy had died, Dom had gone to prison for beating Linder within an inch of his life, and I had blocked it all out. What had I done? What had I put my family through?

I sunk to the sidewalk and pulled my knees up to my chest as hot tears streamed down my face. I could hear Dom's words as clear as day in my head.

He's dead.

Sean's Point of View

I didn't know what to do and when I reached out to brush the hair out of her face she didn't even acknowledge my presence. I thought about calling Han but I also knew that her sitting out in the cold wasn't doing her any good either so I carefully scooped her up. Her arms went numbly around my neck as I carried her back to my car and her whole body shook with sobs.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling horrible that I had done this to her but a small part of me wished that maybe now that she knew what was going on that she would be able to get over it or at least begin deal with it somehow.

I went to place her in the passenger seat and her arms tightened around my neck, "He's dead."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, because I had no idea what to say. I didn't know the full story, not in enough detail to help her properly. "I'm going to fix this, okay?"

She didn't say anything, not even when I lowered her into the car and strapped her in. She would never forgive me for it but seeing Han had to be the next logical step. He would know all the right things to say or do in this situation, maybe then I could actually step up and do something.

I shut the door gently and moved quickly to the other side. When I got in she was still muttering the same words to herself. She was curled up, one hand gripped tightly at the seat belt across her chest and the other hand clenched into a fist that dug into her thigh. I could just imagine the mark or the bruise it would leave but I left her alone. I only wanted to get back as quickly as possible but I managed to keep my speed almost under the limit not wanting to scare her further. We weren't far from the shop but I kept glancing over at Ellie every couple of seconds as if she would disappear in front of my eyes. In a way she already had and I wanted the carefree girl back that was laughing at my jokes this morning.

I stopped the car outside of the shop and I didn't even bother to check how my parking looked. I was around Ellie's side of the car within seconds and as I lifted her out she was still mumbling to herself. She seemed a little more with it as she gripped onto me tighter but there was still that far off look in her eyes.

"We're almost home," I told her gently, shifting her in my arms slightly.

"He's dead."

I didn't respond as I carried her back inside. The lights were still on so I took her straight to the sitting room. Han was in there and thankfully alone. As I moved further into the room to set Ellie down on the couch he turned to us. In all the time I'd known him I had never Han look so angry or distraught. He visibly relaxed at the sight of Ellie.

"What's going on?" he asked me calmly as he sat on the coffee table in front of Ellie.

"She's starting to remember what happened in LA," I lowered my voice a little afraid that Ellie would overhear and barely whispered, "With her dad."

Han's eyes flashed to me. "When? How much does she remember?"

I shrugged, feeling stupid for not knowing, and wondering how much I should tell Han. I finally decided that he needed to know and she could be pissed at me later as long as she was okay. "I think she's been piecing things together for awhile now. She wouldn't say anything and she didn't want you to know but there was a couple times I found her crying. I heard her again tonight and when I went to see if she was okay she was crying out in her sleep. I woke her up, tried to talk to her about it, and she ran. I'm sorry, I didn't even think about anything but finding her and when I did all she would keep saying is that he's dead."

"Oh, Ellie," Han said softly as he shifted over to sit beside her and when he put his arm around her she made no objections. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. I had never seen Han like this with anyone. I had heard him briefly mention some people, especially a few from LA but I never realized how close he was with them.

"What do we do?" I half asked, half begged.

"Go get her some water," Han said but I knew it was more of a suggestion, he wasn't too sure either. "We need to get her talking, snap her out of this, maybe then we can really think of something."

I nodded my head but as I moved towards the kitchen I heard her mumble the same words again and I knew it was going to be a long journey. When I got back to the sitting room she was still curled into his side the same vacant expression on her face. Han had settled into the couch ready to stay there all night if he had to and I sat on the coffee table across from her ready to do the same.

Ellie's Point of View

I couldn't believe it, didn't want to, but somewhere deep down I knew that it was the truth. It felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes and though I remembered most of it there were still some parts that I was fuzzy on. I loved Han like he was another brother but he wasn't what I needed right now. I needed Dom but as far as I could remember he was in jail. I wanted to be selfish and call home, beg Vince to come get me, and have him make this nightmare go away but I couldn't. I had already caused them all so much pain with not being able to remember what happened I needed to deal with this myself. I just didn't know how.

"Dom…" my voice cracked when I spoke, "How…how long?"

I saw Sean's eyes shift over to Han waiting for him to answer and I could feel him sigh as if he was debating whether or not to tell me. "He got five years."

"No," I breathed out, my chest tightening again as hot tears streamed down my face again. The one person who would be able to take all my broken pieces and put them back together was dead, my brother had been taken away from me for five years, and I had never felt so alone.

I don't know why but memories of the court room flashed through my mind of when Dom told the judge that he had attacked Linder because the man put his hands on me. This was all my fault. I should have listened when Dom and Vince told me not to go to the race that day and I should have never gone over to Linder. If I had been able to control my anger Dom would be home. Daddy hadn't broken our family up. I had.

The anger at myself started to build and my eyes locked onto the glass of water sitting next to Sean. Without a second thought I got off the couch, snatching the glass up in my hand, and chucking it across the room as hard as I could so that it smashed against the wall. I almost expected Han to scold me, though he had never before, but instead he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees just watching me. I stood there for the briefest of seconds before letting my anger get the best of me again and I destroyed the room. Pictures were tossed causing the glass to break, the lamp pulled from the wall, and a stack of magazines pushed over. Anything I could get my hands on was destroyed and Han just sat there the whole time, ducking once when a picture frame came flying his way by mistake. Sean, on the other hand, was trying to get me to calm down and when he realized that his words weren't resonating he resorted to just making sure I didn't hurt myself in the process.

When there was nothing left in the room to destroy I stood in the middle of the mess before sinking to my knees and crying again. I vaguely remember Sean crouching down next to me and him rubbing my back, whispering comforting words in my ear but all I could think was that my hero was dead.