Reese watched as she straightened up in her chair and she leaned backward, looking at him. The expression on her face changed dramatically in the space of a few short seconds. He didn't know what to expect, he didn't know what she wanted to talk about. He was just glad she had called him.
"Thanks for coming." She said softly. He still couldn't guess exactly what was on her mind, but she didn't seem hostile, she didn't seem angry.
"Last time we met here, the conversation didn't go very well. You got me a little nervous here, Joss." His attempt at humor brought a smile to her face and for that he was glad.
"There have been so many painful things that happened between us, I just….thought we needed to clear a few things up."
"Ok."
"You want a cup of coffee?" She signaled to her server and in a few minutes she came back with two fresh cups of coffee for them. He spun the cup around in his hands for a minute and it took him back to their first meeting where she gave him a cup of water.
"I know about the house." She blurted out and she was silent for a minute. He wondered how she found out. But given her great investigative skills, he deduced she put it all together.
"You're a hell of a Detective. I've always told you that."
"John, what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to take the house."
"I can't, I can't take it."
"Why not?"
"You know why I can't. It's an invasion of my privacy. You're listening to my phone calls, my conversations. You're interfering in my life, John. You are literally stalking me." She had a frustrated look on her face, but he was glad that she wasn't as angry as he thought she'd be if she found out.
"After everything you've been through…." he reached over and held her hand. "…after everything I've put you through, you deserve it. Besides I didn't buy it. Finch did."
"John…"
"All we did was make sure it was more affordable for you and to ensure that you would get it."
"The diamond earrings, John." She said trying to pull her hand back, but he wouldn't let it go.
"What about them? They were a gift."
"You give me expensive diamond earrings, and now a house. I just wonder if you want me to feel obligated to you in some way."
"Joss….if there's anyone who should feel obligated it's me. You saved my life…..more times than I can count. You stuck with me, no matter how much I pushed you away. You loved me when I couldn't understand why. And after finding out about Zoe….."
She winced and he realized the pain from that revelation was still raw to her. She had tears in her eyes just as he did.
"After finding out about Zoe…..I….I want to make it up to you. I need to make it up to you. I can't erase it, but I want you to trust me again. I want you to take this house. For you and for Taylor."
Bringing Taylor into the conversation was a little below the belt he knew. But he had to make her realize that it was the right decision to make. Appealing to her love for her son was a powerful way to get her to see that.
She pulled her hand away and took a sip from her second cup. She seemed to mull that over in her mind. So far he thought the conversation was going well. She hadn't threatened to leave, she hadn't asked him to leave and she hadn't yelled at him.
What he really wanted to know was where her head was. The last time he heard from her, she'd called him in the middle of the night while she was in Philadelphia with Martin. He knew she hadn't slept with him, but he still didn't know where she and Martin stood.
"What happened the other night?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you called me from Philly. I was worried about you."
"I was…" he saw her cheeks flush red with embarrassment and she turned her head to look out the window. "I was with another man….and…all I could think about was you." Her expression was so vulnerable and he felt an enormous amount of relief at her words. He knew after everything that had happened saying how she felt had to have been the hardest thing for her right now.
It gave him hope. After she found out about Zoe, he thought they might have been finished forever, but hearing that she thought of him while she was with Martin cause hope to spring alive inside him.
"I needed to talk to you. I needed to hear your voice, John….I don't know, it's stupid."
"Of course it's not, Joss." He said, with a smile tugging at the side of his lips. "I imagine Martin wasn't too happy about that." She didn't answer but the look on her face confirmed what he said. "About you and Martin…."
"I'm not going to talk to you about Martin."
"I think it's time for you realize…."
"John, I'm not doing this….."
"….that we still have some unresolved issues and Martin is in the way."
"I can't believe you wanna talk about unresolved issues." She glanced at her watch and looked as if she was about to leave. "I have to get to the precinct."
"You're always running away when we have a problem. Stay here with me and let's talk about this."
He wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. She was the one who always wanted to talk, while he never did. The role reversal right now was emphasized by the look of incredulity on her face. He knew this was a moment to be serious however, so he chose his next words carefully.
"I know I pushed you away before, Joss. I know that being with me hasn't been easy at all. But I'm here now; I'm ready to let you in. I want us to start over. Can you give us a second chance?"
"John…."
"Please…..give me a second chance."
He finally took a drink of the coffee in front of him and it was a way to pretend he wasn't anxiously awaiting her reply. He knew it was a lot to ask in one conversation. If all she said was that she'd consider it, he would be happy.
"I need to sort things out with Martin, first."
"Joss…."
"I just need some time, John. Can you give me that?"
He reluctantly agreed and when she left the table this time, he walked alongside her. They walked the block together, slowly and he let his shoulder touch hers. It wasn't exactly where he wanted them to be. But it was a positive step forward.
"I also need you to stop tapping my phone. I know it's hard for you not knowing my every move all the time, but please. Seriously John, allow me some privacy. At least for a little while."
He nodded his head looking down at her. "Okay."
She fished into her pocket and handed him a key. "Here. I forgot to give this to you. It's your spare key. Got it from Finch when he asked me to check on you."
He folded the key into her palm, not taking it. "Keep it." He whispered in her ear and turned to leave.
O0o0o0o
It had been two days since her breakfast 'date' with Reese when Carter was finishing up some last minute reports at her desk. She was a little tired and was ready to go home. The home cooked meal she promised Taylor was not gonna get made tonight. Tonight he would have to settle for takeout.
"Hey Carter you got any more envelopes? I need to borrow another." Her head shot in Fusco's direction and he was walking up to her desk.
"Running out supplies again, Lionel?" She shook her head and opened her bottom drawer. "I should have a couple more in here." Her hand hit against something solid and she looked down to find the crystal jasmine Reese had bought for her all those months ago. She put it on the desk in front of her staring at it for a minute.
"What's that?" Asked Fusco as she handed him a few envelopes.
"That's…..it's…it's a flower, Lionel."
She got home about an hour later, takeout in her hand and was greeted at the door by her son. He grabbed the bags out of her hands and eagerly unpackaged the containers. He told her about his day at school and she was glad they were getting back into their routine. He was opening up to her again and he finally told her about his girlfriend at school. He gave her a name. Finally she knew who this girl was.
Whatever Reese had said to him the night he found him had done wonders and she couldn't help but feel grateful to have her son back.
She had to take the house. If not for her, for Taylor as Reese said. He was a good kid, he deserved it.
"Mom, you're spacing out again. What's going on?"
"Well I was waiting to get a word in so I could give you the good news."
"About what?"
Good news it was. There was something wonderful about it. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, it became real. Taylor was ecstatic, he was so happy and he got right on the phone with her mother. Of course that opened a dialogue that she wasn't yet prepared for, but she didn't mind the probing questions about how she got it, where it was and how much it would cost.
She finally felt happy. And she felt like this was a new beginning for them.
She took Taylor to see the house after school that Friday. He immediately claimed the back room of the three bedroom house. He loved the size of it. It was bigger than the room he had now, it had a larger closet and he finally had space for a desk and a small study area if he wanted. She would take the room closest to the front. She would have her own walk in closet, with space for different clothes, shoe compartments and a storage area at the top. It was a dream come true. She loved the dark wood floors and she loved the light that could now come in because she had larger windows. This was definitely a place they could call home.
The room opposite Taylor's would be a guest bedroom for when family came to visit. Now she could invite her sister to stay without wondering where they'd all sleep.
There were some minor repairs to be made, a few windows that needed to replaced and she had gotten a few extra dollars from the bank to take care of it all. She wanted the floors in the kitchen and bathroom to be redone and she wanted new carpeting in the den. She planned to change the colour scheme on the walls and imagined how it would look once the furniture was brought int. She was getting all new appliances and got a deal for a stainless steel stove, refrigerator and a washer and dryer.
While the repairs were taking place, she and Taylor set about packing all their things for the big move. She hadn't realized they'd accumulated so much stuff over the years. Much of it was discarded and she felt like she was shedding a lot of weight from an old life she was saying goodbye to.
She was excited as they packed everything into boxes. And though she knew it was going to be a hell of a lot of work, she was looking forward to putting everything into its place in the new house. She arranged for a few weeks time off so she could do it. And she planned to take her time.
She spoke to Reese regularly. He would call to check on her and Taylor and he stopped by at least once a week to see their progress. She appreciated that though he was there, he didn't spend the whole time crowding her, or pressuring her. He was never imposing or grabby. He was the perfect gentleman. In fact a lot of his time was spent with Taylor catching up with school happenings and helping him pack. She'd hear their voices and laughter coming from Taylor's room and wonder what they were talking about.
They were getting closer. It was a fact that made gave her joy, but also made her nervous. She still wasn't 100% that the two of them getting back together was the right thing. She still had to consider Martin and if it made sense to continue their relationship.
After he helped her pack up her last box one evening he handed her a card.
"What's this?" She asked, reading it and wiping the sweat from her brow.
Davidson Movers – the card read.
"Call them whenever you're ready to take your stuff to the new place. It's already paid for." He said.
She started shaking her head in protest, but he put a finger to her lips.
"Sshh….just say thank you."
She took a deep breath and decided not to argue. She thanked him and tucked the card into her jeans pocket.
After he left she got into the shower and was happy to wash away the dirt and sweat from her body. She got out fifteen minutes later and toweled herself off getting into a cotton t-shirt and shorts after misting her body with some jasmine water.
She wondered how Martin was doing.
Since the disastrous trip to Philadelphia she hadn't heard from him. He had left the ball in her court really. She knew where he stood as far as she was concerned. She knew what he wanted. It was up to her to think about what she wanted and to decide based on that knowledge.
She thought about calling him, sharing the news of the house with him, but he'd think she was calling to talk about them. The conversation could get complicated and she didn't want that right now, not when her mind was not fully made up.
She decided to call her sister. Donna was at home, and she was tired after a long double shift at work, but she was glad to hear her sister's voice on the other end of the phone.
Carter gave her the good news about the house, but apparently their mother had already beaten her to it.
"I'm so happy for you Jocelyn. There's nothing like owning your own place. I know Taylor must be over the moon."
"He is and frankly so am I. We just finished packing up the rest of the stuff. Come Monday when I start my vacation time we'll start moving."
"Are you gonna do it all by yourself?"
"I won't." She said settling on top of the covers, leaning back and crossing her legs. "I have Taylor and the movers will help set the furniture up when they deliver the stuff. I took two weeks to get it all done though so I have enough time."
They spoke about the house a while longer, caught up with how Donna's kids were going in school, then Donna asked about Martin.
"I haven't heard from him, and I haven't called."
"Still haven't decided what you want to do?"
"No, not yet." She said quietly and her sister chuckled on the other line. "What are you laughing at?"
"I'm laughing because I can picture you biting your bottom lip worrying about what to do." It was funny because it was true and they both laughed. "Oh Jocelyn, as much as you hate to admit it, you need to face that fact that maybe you're still not quite over your mystery man. If Martin is as great as you make him out to be, there shouldn't be a hesitation. You can't move forward because your heart is elsewhere."
"You think you know a lot about me don't you? Hmph." She said hating that her sister was right.
"I know you just as well as you know me. I wish I could talk to this guy, see who he was and what he's like. How come we never met him? Does mom know who he is?"
"No, she doesn't."
Taylor was the only one in her life who knew about or met Reese. He'd refused her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner last year. Well that wasn't quite true. He hadn't refused it; he'd been terrified of it. In hindsight she realized that maybe it'd been too soon for her to invite him and the issues he had with family and his past were a huge obstacle for him. It had been wishful thinking on her part that he'd want to come and be a part of it. Thinking about it now, if it had been Martin she invited she was sure he'd have no problems integrating with them.
"Go with your heart, Jocelyn. Has your heart ever steered you in the wrong direction?"
Donna's question led to others long after their conversation ended and she lay in bed trying to figure out what to do. Her heart had led her to Reese before and he'd hurt her. He wasn't ready before, she knew. Ever since his breakdown at his loft, he seemed a changed man. She wasn't sure yet she could trust it. What would happen when things got tough again? Would he end up pushing her away like before?
That was her greatest fear; being turned away, being replaced with someone else. She thought of Zoe again and it killed her to think of Reese with someone else. Her reaction to seeing them together had cut her deep. But she realized now that he had made a mistake. It was a stupid mistake, a careless one, but he realized the scope of his actions and how wrong they were. He'd asked her for a second chance. She had to decide whether or not to give it.
Martin was perfect. He was perfect in every way that mattered. He wasn't some vigilante working on the opposite end of the law. He was open, communicative, he was attractive and he was kind. He was ready to be with her without hesitation.
He was perfect.
"But he isn't John." She said aloud as she turned to her side and put her hand under her chin. Her head burrowed into her pillow. "He isn't John."
O0o0o0o
Reese took the hand Fusco held out to him and got to his feet. He cast a glaring eye in the direction of the latest perp, Victor Nunez and left him in the process of getting his rights read to him and a new pair of bracelets for his wrists.
He touched his knuckle to his cheekbone, feeling the slight pain from the bruise that was now forming and wiped at the faint smudge of blood on his hand. What a way to end the week he thought walking out into the street and made his way home.
He was hungry and he stopped for takeout from Bakshi's a small family run Indian restaurant he and Carter used to frequent. He hadn't been there for a while and missed the food there. When he got home, he got into it right away, barely taking his jacket off to throw it over the back of the couch and sat down.
It was just as good as he remembered it. Carter had been the first person to introduce him to the place and he remembered the first time they ate there. That night instead of take out, they sat at a secluded table at the back, enjoyed the food and each other's conversation.
He remembered watching her lips move as she spoke, listening to her laugh, the curves of her cheeks and twinkle in her eye. He remembered wanting her so badly he was straining against his pants. She hadn't even realized the effect she had on him that night. She innocently talked to him, running her hand casually over his, all the while he thought of nothing more than taking her into one of the back rooms of the place and sinking himself into her until he was dry.
He missed making love to her. Even now after all these months, his desire for her hadn't waned in the least. Even after Zoe, he still only wanted Joss and he longed to be with her again. Soon he promised himself, finishing off his meal, soon.
Tomorrow was the big day. He got word from Taylor that she was taking time off work to start the process of getting the new house ready. He kept his promise of not listening to her phone conversations or eavesdropping on her but it wasn't easy. Instead he had relied on Fusco and Taylor to let him know what she was up to.
Taylor had said she was happy about the move. Besides work, it was all she talked about on the phone to her mom and her sister. He casually asked if she had been out at all since she'd been back from Philadelphia and Taylor had said no. Both of them aware of the unspoken question of Martin's continued presence in her life. As far as Taylor could tell, she'd been pretty much on her own. The phone calls had stopped; she no longer went into another room to take her calls. The only man Taylor had seen had been him.
He'd breathed a sigh of relief then.
He walked into the bathroom and got out of his clothes before he went in the shower.
Soon, he promised himself again, soon.
He'd gone by the new house, and after the work had been completed on it, he broke in and took a look around. He liked the space, he liked the lighting and he liked that it felt like a real home here. He was glad that Carter liked it, he was glad she'd been able to get the place she wanted.
He walked onto the hardwood floors of the room she'd chosen as her own. The crown molding was amazing and the room had its own bath separated by a perfectly ornate door. He looked around and thought that a room like this deserved furniture to match its splendor. The bedroom suit that Carter currently had didn't belong in here he thought. She needed something better than the modest set to lay her head on at the end of the day.
From following her one afternoon when she walked into a furniture store, he noticed a particular set had caught her eye. He watched as she eyed it, running her hand over the wood, the padded headboard and he could see from the look in her eyes that she really wanted it. So he bought it for her and he arranged for delivery sometime tomorrow afternoon.
As he applied shampoo to his hair he knew she would be furious about the purchase. She'd taken a lot of cajoling to accept the house, she wanted to protest the movers, now new furniture would be another story. He hoped to do his best to convince her to accept yet another gift from him.
It was Monday evening when he decided to drop by. Taylor was unloading boxes in his new room and she was directing the movers to different parts of the house.
She looked so cute in her cut off jeans shorts and blue t-shirt. Her legs were exposed and he raised his eyebrows as he took in the sight of them. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail in back and she watched the men like a hawk as they loaded boxes and furniture in the house.
She smiled when she saw him walking toward her and he returned it. She was about to say something to him, but a loud thud from inside got her attention right away.
"Please do not break anything." He heard her say before firing off a fresh new set of instructions.
He saw them about to take her bedroom furniture into her new bedroom, but he redirected them.
"Fellas, that one goes to the back room on the right."
He took his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves. "Where can I put this?" He asked her and she took it from it, putting it in the coat closet.
"What are you doing?" She asked the movers. "No that set goes in here."
The men looked at Reese in frustration, the furniture was quite heavy. He nodded his head and he signaled for them to continue.
"John….what….?" She stopped mid sentence as another truck pulled up and she put a finger up to him before he could speak, heading outside.
Her new furniture was here and he watched as she spoke to the driver for a minute, confused. He put a smile on his face and walked over, a hand on her shoulder.
"Excuse me sir. I forgot to tell my wife about the new set that was coming. You can take it inside. First bedroom on the right."
She looked at him, and the wrinkle between her brows was in place. "It was supposed to be a surprise." He said as they watched the guys unload the truck. She was seething right now, but she looked on as the set she wanted so badly was being taken ever so carefully into her new house.
His hand was still on her shoulder and she bowed her head down for a minute, not speaking. He spun her round to face him, his hands on her shoulders. "Now I know what you're gonna say Joss, but hear me out."
She was shaking her head vehemently. "No….you don't know what I'm gonna say John. I am furious with you. I really am." She raised her head up and he could see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I am so mad at you right now". She said.
"I just wanted to…"
"Thank you so much." She said and grabbed him by the waist and hugged him hard. His arms went around her shoulders and it felt so good to hold her again.
"Thank you." She said again. She stayed in his arms for a minute and they were both oblivious to the movers who watched them curiously as they took the rest of the furniture inside.
He finally let her go and looked down on her. She gave him a reluctant smile and he wiped at the tears on her face.
"Still mad?" He asked and they laughed together.
"Hey mom!" Called Taylor from the front door.
"What is it baby?" She said, looking at him. Reese's hand was still around her shoulder, he didn't want to let go and she still held onto his waist.
"The guys wanna know how you want the furniture set up."
"Okay, I'll be right there." She pulled away, dragging Reese by the hand. "Come on."
When he got up on the porch Taylor was studying them, a slow smile crossing his mouth. He raised an eyebrow as the boy held his fist out to him. He smiled as he held his fist out and bumped Taylor's before they all went in.
O0o0o0o
Hours later all the furniture had been assembled and put in their respective rooms and spaces. There was only light unpacking to be done like the dishes, photo albums, and other personal touches to the house. Carter decided she would do that tomorrow. She couldn't move another muscle.
Taylor had gone to a friend's house to spend the night and she and Reese had been left alone. He'd ordered delivery for them and they enjoyed the food and the drinks in silence. The house was quiet and they were both exhausted. She was glad he had stayed around to help. They were seated side by side on the enormous sectional she'd bought. It was in the middle of the floor and they both stared up at the ceiling together, heads rested on its soft comfortable back.
"Tired?" He whispered.
"Yeah." She said and he looked over at her, before resting a hand on the top of her head. He ran his thumb over her brow and she closed her eyes, finally starting to relax.
"Mmmm. That feels good." She said.
"You're so beautiful, Joss."
Her eyes remained closed and she smiled. "No I'm not. Right now I'm sweaty, my hair's a mess and I need a shower."
"No. You're beautiful." He repeated and she opened her eyes.
"You trying to win some brownie points with the compliments? I think what you've done today; well the last few days have earned you plenty." His fingers moving over her scalp felt so good. She felt like she could just fall asleep right now in this very position.
She felt his gaze on her and looked over at him. She still loved him. God help her she did. It had been almost five months they been apart, but she still loved him. She put a hand on his face and kissed him softly on the lips. Her mouth lingered there for a moment before she leaned back onto the couch.
He didn't say anything, but he reached down and held onto her hand, lacing his fingers through hers.
"I think you should stay tonight." She said quietly. "I mean…..if you want to." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes and he nodded his head.
"I want to." He answered.
"Good." She said, releasing the breath she realized she'd been holding in. He got up to secure the front door and cut the lights off.
They were left in the dark then and she held onto him as they both lay there, talking, listening, breathing together until there was nothing more they wanted to say.
"Goodnight, Joss." It was the last thing she heard finally before she fell asleep in his arms, her hand to his chest while his hand rested on the small of her back.