Disclaimer:Jo owns it all. Lyrics by the Killers.
Chapter Ten
Mr. Brightside
Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
Cus i'm Mr. Brightside
I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doin' just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
-the Killers "Mr. Brightside"
Ben helped me search the shelves for the book on ancient charms that Lily might have read. What James could have possibly done to make her resort to magic is beyond me. They were doing so well and Lily was so happy. I sighed as I put another book away. I was never going to get my homework done if I kept this up. I've been at this for an hour!
"Looking for something, my dear?" I heard a slimy voice ask. I turned towards it to see Lucius Malfoy standing at the end of the row I was looking through. I didn't have time for him and pulled another book from the shelf.
"Don't you dare, ignore me, Cullen," Malfoy was right behind me now.
"Look at that," I muttered sarcastically, "I dare!"
The thing about Malfoy is that he thinks he better then everyone else because he's rich and a pureblood. He doesn't realize that the Sirius is rich and a pureblood. Or that James is rich and a pureblood. So many people can careless about bloodlines, but Malfoy finds the need to think everyone is below him and he should be treated as a king. He thinks its fun to pick a fight with the people who don't. Like me and Sirius and James.
I could see Malfoy reading the titles of the books I pulled out over my shoulder. He smiled to himself. I hated his smile. And not just because he didn't have dimples. He had a slimy sneer for a smile that looked suspicious even when he really was happy. Not a good thing to see him smiling when it comes to being alone with Malfoy.
"Helping your friend out, are you Cullen?" Malfoy hissed.
"What do you know about that?" I snapped. Oops. I was supposed to be ignoring him. I need to work at this silent treatment thing.
"Nothing really. Everyone knows Evans has a bit of a temper," Malfoy snickered. I turned to face him. The Slytherins was standing closer to me then I would have liked. I took a step back, but bumped into the bookshelf. Where was Ben?
"What do you want?" I asked darkly, preparing myself for a fight. I didn't have my wand. It was in my bag with my books from doing homework. It was uncomfortable in my jeans and I had put it there for safe keeping.
"I just wanted a little chat with Sirius Black's newest toy," Malfoy said looking excited. Oh no.
"Toy?" I repeated, temper rising, "I'm not one of Sirius's toys. And if you haven't noticed he hasn't touched any girl in this school since we returned!"
"Yes, because he wants the one girl that doesn't want him," Malfoy said, putting on a fake concerned face, "I don't blame him for wanting you so badly. All that anyone can talk about is how much you've changed since last year."
"Leave me alone," I snapped trying to slip away from them, but Malfoy blocked me. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me further down the row before slamming me against the wall. I gasped as my head hit the stone.
"Don't you try and walk away," he snapped, his hand around my throat, "It's rude."
"You're mother obviously did not teach you the proper meaning of rude, Malfoy. Choking a girl doesn't seem very polite," I gasped for air as the hand tightened.
"Just as you're mother didn't—oh, that's right. You're mother is dead!" Malfoy snapped, "She died before she could teach you proper manners, didn't she? You're filthy Muggle father had to raise you until he died too, didn't he?"
"They died before I understood what death was," I countered, "Using them to get to me is pointless." A total lie, but Malfoy didn't have to know that. However, I did need to get away from him. My hands were still free, as were my legs. I could easily kick him where it hurts or I can punch him.
"How would you like to join them, then, Cullen? Get to know them," Malfoy offered, "But first I want you. And I am going to let you run away like that Hill did when he—" Next thing he knew, my fist was in his face. His nose cracked with a sickening crunch. Wow. I hit him harder then I thought I could. I didn't stick around to see how bad the damage was, I just ran for it instead.
"Libby, I found something that seems good," Ben said appearing from another row when I had escaped from the row Malfoy was whimpering in. I didn't bother running any more now that I was in front of people. Suddenly registering what Ben has said, I looked at the books he was holding. They were titles read something like Charms of History and The Great Book of Ancient Charms. Stuff like that. He had about five there, all piled in his arms.
"This works," I said, nodding, "I found nothing that would be useful."
"It's almost dinner, do you want to get this to James and Sirius so we don't miss it?" Ben asked. I looked at him.
"Yeah, sure. I want to make sure James is okay, though, too. And Lily. She's probably still fuming," I explained. We picked up our books and swung our bags over our shoulders. I checked out the books and we left the library.
Ben went on to the Ravenclaw common rooms, promising me that he'll see me at dinner. I nodded and continued on towards the Gryffindor common room. I hurried through the portrait hole and looked around. Lily and Kirsten were talking on the couch in front of the fire. Lily was smiling, too. She wasn't mad anymore, but I don't think she lifted the charm either.
"Lily!" I said walking over and dropping my bag on the floor, "What in the world did poor James do to make you glue his mouth shut?" I asked.
"Poor James?" Lily repeated raising an eyebrow, "James was being a prat! He and Sirius were fighting with Snape again! When I took points off Gryffindor, James got mad because I didn't take points off Slytherin. I saw the whole fight and Snape had been doing nothing before Sirius had him hanging upside down and James was hexing him! Then because I told James that I'm not going to go out with him until he grows up and he started saying all this crap so I wouldn't leave and so I made him shut up. Maybe he'll open a book for once to undo the spell."
"You're happy that you charmed you glue his mouth shut after breaking up with him!" I shrieked. Lily looked a bit smug about the whole thing. And Kirsten seemed to find this whole thing funny.
"I didn't break up with him, Libby. I just told him I'm going to date him when he has to grow up! He's getting older and more immature. I just need a break until this weekend," Lily said shrugging. I grabbed the two books from my bag and glared at Lily.
"Well, I'm going to help him undo the charm!" I snapped. I headed towards the boys' dormitories shouting, "If you had any idea how much James liked you, I doubt you would even dare to look at him out of shame of how you treat him!"
"You're not allowed in their dorms!" Lily shouted after me, she was angry that I was choosing sides with James for once and not her. I always agreed that James could be a bit of an arrogant prat, but this I knew he didn't deserve. I turned around to face Lily.
"I don't care!" I snapped, "I'm helping my friend!"
I went up the staircase and knocked on the door twice before Sirius pulled the door opened slowly and suspiciously. Seeing me with books in hand, he grinned and pushed the door open all the way, letting me inside. James was laying flat on his back on his bed, a roll of parchment next to him. His quill and ink was on his bedside table. He looked at me and sat up when he spotted the books. I had never seen such a sad look in James's eyes before.
"I would have found more if Malfoy hadn't tried to seduce me," I muttered, thinking it was best not to let Sirius know that Ben found the books he and James were flipping through. They both froze.
"What did Malfoy try to do?" Sirius asked in a dangerous voice.
"Well, first he was just being a prat, saying that I was you're newest 'toy'" I explained, "And then he started talking about how my parents are dead, which lead into the regular threats to kill me and then he said he wants me before he kills me."
"What did you do," Sirius asked. I had never seen him so mad before, and I must admit, it was a bit scary. He was shaking slightly, his eyes flashing, and his voice low. It was almost as if a shadow had been cast across his face.
"I punched him," I shrugged, trying to sound like it was no big deal to calm Sirius down a little, "He'll be pissed when I run into him again."
"Oh no," Sirius said shaking his head, "You won't be running into him again."
"Sirius, please, stop, you're scaring me!" I said finally. The way his voice sounded and the look on his face really was. James writing away on the parchment. He thrust it a me and I read it. My eyes widened for there was some very, very bad language written down.
"We'll take care of him, Libs, don't worry," Sirius said. He went back to the book he was looking through and so did James.
I picked one up, too. I had been looking through the contents for a while before I realized that Peter was missing. I put the book down and looked around.
"Where's Peter?" I asked. James shrugged and turned another page.
"Dunno. Kitchens maybe," Sirius said, "Hey, James, this charm here is good for pranks!"
James looked over Sirius's shoulder and nodded, smiling as much as his shut mouth would let him. I looked at it, too, and grinned. Only the Marauders would be able to make hair growing charms for balding witches and wizards, into a joke.
"I had a fight with Lily," I told James after looking through some more books. James raised and eyebrow and Sirius gasped.
"You did?" he asked.
"Yeah. She said you were bullying Snape again," I explained, "I don't think Lily got the full story though, did she?"
"Nope," Sirius answered as James reached for the parchment, "Snape had been provoking us and when he started saying things about you, we couldn't just sit there."
"Geez, I'm a target for Slytherins today, aren't I?" I asked.
"Seems like it," Sirius laughed, "Anyways, Lily had only seen the part where James and I ran after Snape to get better aim to hex him. Of course, she jumped to conclusions and now, here we are!"
"She's mad at me. Not only am I breaking a rule, but I yelled at her. I had never yelled at Lily before. Merlin, I only yell at Slytherins and, before this year, you, Sirius," I said. James started bouncing pointing to the page he had been reading. Sirius and I leaned over and saw that James found the spell to reverse the charm.
"It's advanced magic," I observed.
"We've done stuff harder then this," Sirius grinned, pulling out his wand. He pointed it to James and said the spell. For a moment, I thought it worked, but then there was a loud pop and James had pink hair.
"Ad–oot!" James said out of the side of his mouth. The spell only partially worked it seemed. He could now open the left corner of his mouth. His facial espression with the pink hair was to funny. I glanced at Sirius and our eyes met. We instantly started laughing and James ran to the mirror to check the damage.
"Wot did yoo do?" he yelled. Sirius laughed harder.
"James, relax, I have a bunch of spell books that tell you how to change your hair color. It'll be back to normal in no time. I'll just run to get them. But first..." I pointed my own wand at James and muttered the spell. There was another pop and James's hair changed purple. Luckily, his mouth also parted, finally giving him the ability to talk.
"Yes!" James cheered, "Now, I have to get Lily back!"
"Your hair, Prongs," Sirius said, still laughing.
"Fix it Libby," James whined.
I excused myself from the room and went to my own. I looked through the bookshelf that stood against the far wall and looked at all the books from the past years that we left here at Hogwarts. I finally found the Hair Care for Witches book and grabbed it. I was almost out of the dormitory when Lily and Kirsten walked in. They glared at me.
"What?" I asked, frowning.
"Done helping your friend?" Lily asked coldly, if not a bit hurt.
"Almost," I replied.
"Tell him not to try and get me back," she continued, "I don't have time for him."
"Why now, Lily?" I asked, "You two had been doing so well, weren't you?"
"We were. It's just, James can act like such a little kid. I'm behind in my work and I am distracted in classes because of him. I care about my grades and my work. James doesn't," Lily explained.
"But he cares for you,"I said. Lily looked at me.
"You make it seem like I don't know that," she snapped.
"Well, right now I feel like you don't," I countered, Lily frowned as I headed towards the door.
"For the past five years you didn't let James get between us," Kirsten said as I opened the door. I looked at her as she continued, "Why are you letting him now?"
I hesitated for a minute before saying, "Because he's hurt."
Lily and Kirsten didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Or all of Monday. At first, I tried sitting with them at lunch and during classes, but with their back to me. I didn't want to sit alone and the Marauders missed all the morning classes for some reason, so I forced myself to sit with Lily and Kirsten everyday. On Tuesday, James and Sirius made me sit with them after they saw how Lily and Kirsten were treating me at dinner the night before. On Wednesday, it was the same. As the Gryffindors and Slytherins stood outside the potions room waiting for Professor Slughorn, Lily and Kirsten stood a distance away, laughing with one another.
"I don't know why she has to ignore you, too," James muttered.
"What happened?" Remus asked. He looked tired and a bit ill himself after returning to school the night before.
"Lily and I had a disagreement," I explained, "And now she's giving me the cold shoulder. Her and Kirsten."
"Oh. You guys never fought before, have you?" Remus said.
"Only once before and it was a quick little fight that we forgave each other the next day. This is different." I shrugged.
"This is my fault, though," James moaned, "If it weren't for me, you would be standing by Lily right now."
"It's fine, James, don't worry about it. They'll be talking to me again by Saturday night," I said, hoping Saturday comes quickly.
"Why then?" Sirius asked, curiously.
"Because that's Hogsmeade weekend," I replied. Sirius still looked confused.
"She'll be talking to me again," James said, "Giving her no reason to be mad at Libby anymore."
"That and the fact that they'll both want to know all about my date with Ben," I grinned at the thought. Sirius scowled, but I wasn't paying attention to him. Slughorn arrived and ushered us all into the dungeons. Luckily, today wasn't a double period and lunch was right after.
I put my books down at the usual table Sirius and I sat at and settled down in my chair. Sirius dropped himself moodily next to me. I didn't understand why he was so angry suddenly, but didn't have time to dwell on it. Slughorn was starting the class now that everyone had settled down.
I tried to pay attention as he told us about the Memory potion. Unfortunately, we would not be making the potion today because of the shorter period. That meant over 45 minutes of sitting on hard chairs and listening to Slughorn ask questions just to call on Lily or Snape and to award them so many points each time. I took out some parchment to take notes like some other kids were doing.
"The Memory Potion has both Doxy eggs and Ashwinder eggs, not something you get in most potions. The effect they have when combined causes..." Slughorn was saying. Sirius was playing with his quill. I rolled my eyes. Only a Marauder could find ways to play with a quill.
I turned my attention back to Slughorn and was about to make another note when Sirius took my parchment. I glared at him and tugged on the corner to show him that I wanted it back. He nodded and kept writing. I frowned. Now I was going to have to use the last of my Vanishing Ink Eraser. Sirius pushed the parchment back to me. I was staring at a picture of what looked like a Slytherin falling off their broom. It was horribly drawn and rather cruel, but I had to smile at it before looking at Sirius and shaking my head.
Sirius pulled my parchment from me once more and wrote something. When I looked over his shoulder I saw him writing the word 'Snivellus' with an arrow pointing to the Slytherin. I shook my head trying to hide my smile. As Sirius added more and more cruel things to the picture(a bludger getting ready to hit it's target, rain threatening to wet his greasy hair, etc.) I was biting my lip to keep from giggling.
"Miss Cullen, Mr. Black, what is so interesting at your table?" Slughorn asked. Any trace of a smile on my face disappeared as Sirius and I looked towards the Potions Master.
"Nothing," Sirius shrugged, he was still drawing, the idiot. Slughorn made his way towards out table. He looked over Sirius's shoulder and frowned more so at the insulting picture of his favorite student.
"Both of you please stay after class," he said taking the parchment from Sirius before going back up to the class, "Now, Miss Evans, if you could tell me what your Memory Potion should look like when you complete the last step..."
As Lily answered the bell rang. I packed slowly with Sirius.
"If we get detention, I'll hurt you," I said.
"We won't get detention," Sirius said confidently, "We are allowed to take notes the way we want."
We went up to Slughorn's desk and he frowned at both of us and then at the picture. I was trying my hardest to look innocent. Sirius, suddenly realizing it was lunch time, was looking at the clock.
"Crude pictures of students is not acceptable," Slughorn began, "I am afraid that I will have to give you both detention."
"But sir, I didn't draw the picture!" I gasped.
"You were still finding it extremely funny and disrupting the class to watch Mr. Black watch it. I'm sorry, but detention it is. Both of you will come to my office tomorrow night at eight o'clock. Now, off to lunch!" Slughorn waved his hand as he dismissed us. I sighed and left with Sirius, knowing it was pointless to argue.
"You are a prat," I said to Sirius as we left the dungeon.
"Maybe," Sirius shrugged, "But at least I'm sexy!"
"You wish," I muttered. Sirius's grin disappeared.
"That's hurt Libby. That really did," he put his hand on his heart and looked down, eyes closed as if he were going to cry. I had to smile.
"I can't believe you got me a detention, though!" I said shaking my head. Sirius laughed quietly.
We entered the Great Hall and found Peter, James, and Remus sitting half way down the Gryffindor table. James looked miserable, as he had since his fight with Lily. I felt bad for him. He didn't really do anything wrong to make Lily so angry. She was just over reacting like she always did when it came to James. I wished she was still talking to me though. I'm in need of some serious girl talk after listening to James and Sirius argue which model in Witch Weekly is hotter. I don't even know how they got a Witch Weekly magazine!
As soon as I took a seat, I pulled some food towards me politely taking my helping. Unlike Sirius who dumped half the dish onto his plate and grabbed another side. I shook my head.
"You know, Sirius, girls will find you more attractive if you didn't eat like that," I said as he shoved some potatoes in his mouth and reached for some corn at the same time. He paused.
"What's wrong with how I eat?" Sirius asked with his mouth full.
"Uh, it's disgusting that you can eat that much and still be hungry. And swallow before you talk. No one wants to see half chewed food," I said.
"Well, if it bothers you, why are you watching me?" Sirius shot at me. After he swallowed the food in his mouth. I was awear of James and Remus watching us with knowing smirks on their faces. For some reason, that annoyed me.
"It's hard not to notice. Your manners are horrible," I explained.
"Why do you care?" Sirius muttered staring at his full plate.
"I'm just saying Sirius. I don't care how much you eat, it's just more attractive to watch you eat like a person. Not a dog," I shrugged. James and Remus smirks got bigger as I realized that I had just said, "Uh, not that I watch you eat all the time," I said quickly, "Or find you attractive at all."
"Sure, Libby," Sirius said flashing me his best smile. James and Remus started to laugh. I frowned.
"Oh please, if I was attracted to Sirius would you really think I would agree to go out with Ben?" I snapped. That wiped the smirk off Sirius's face and made James and Remus stop laughing. Silently, Sirius started eating once more, this time like a normal person. James glared at me for a moment and then went back to his salad, which he has been eating a lot of lately. I was very confused by the abrupt cease of their laughter.
"Hey, Libby," Ben's familiar voice said behind me. I turned, smiling, though it wasn't my real smile.
"Hey," I said.
"How's your day been so far?" he asked, sitting down. Sirius glared at him.
"Alright, I guess. Yours?" I countered.
"I've missed you!" he said, smiling. I blushed.
"I've missed you, too," I said.
"Oh, get a room, both of you," Sirius snapped. I glared at Sirius for a long time. Ben shifted uncomfortably.
"I'll talk to you later, then, Libby," Ben said. He gave me a soft kiss, one that didn't make my heart beat faster, and went back to the Ravenclaw table. I rounded on Sirius.
"You are such a prat!" I snapped, my eyes flashing with anger, "You said you had no problem with this!"
"I'm not the one getting ready to snog while people are eating," Sirius countered.
"We weren't going to snog!" I said, "We were just talking!"
"Yeah, well, it was making me sick," Sirius said eyeing Ben's back. I realized he had mash potatoes, smothered in gravy, on his spoon, which he was bending back easily, getting ready to shoot at Ben.
"Don't you dare," I warned.
"Padfoot, no," James groaned.
"Stop, Sirius, don't," Remus muttered, getting ready to shut his eyes. Peter bounced up and down, watching the scene before him.
Sirius smirked at me before letting the spoon loose. He has good aim. The potatoes hit Ben right on the back of his head. He froze and turned around. Sirius was smirking even wider now, everyone who had seen what happened had gone silent. Slowly the rest of the school went silent, too. Teachers looked up at the fall of conversation. Ben and Sirius was looking at one another with these murderous glares. If looks could kill, they'd both be dead.
"You are such an git!" I yelled at Sirius, standing up. My voice echoed for the whole school to hear, "God, Sirius, if this isn't you jealous I would hate to see you when you really are! Get over yourself and stay away from me!"
Hot tears threatened to spill over my cheeks. Sirius stared at me, shocked, as I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder. I was about to walk away, but I decided to be more dramatic. I lifted my glass of pumpkin juice and threw the contents all over Sirius. Of course, the effect of Sirius sputtering and rubbing the juice out of his eyes was killed because girls gasped, feeling sorry for him, and he still looked amazing with orange staining his white uniform shirt.
I marched out of the Great Hall trying hard not to let those tears spill. If I had turned around I would have seen Sirius watching me go with a mixed look of shock and regret. At the Ravenclaw table I would have seen Ben, staring at me, confused. And at the staff table, I would have seen Professor Dumbledore and a stressed Mcgonagall look at one another. But I didn't turn around and I didn't care who was watching me. I just wanted to get away from Sirius.
Once I was out of the Great Hall and up the stairs, I leaned against the wall and let the tears spill over. To many on lookers, they would say I was over reacting because all Sirius did was ne himself. Reckless, immature, attention seeking. I ,myself, felt like I was over reacting. I couldn't understand why I was standing here crying.
I must have stood by the wall for a while because I soon heard people hurrying to their next class. I didn't move and got some looks from people passing me. I caught some of a passing group of forth year girls' conversation.
"—Ravenclaw guy over Sirius Black?"
"She must be on something."
"Or playing hard to get..."
After that I headed towards the Gryffindor common room. The halls emptied as I walked and I hoped that Filch didn't appear suddenly. Or that stupid cat of his because I would probably kick it for the horrible mood I am in at the moment. I said the password to the Fat Lady and crawled through the hole. I realized that for the first time in my life, I was skipping class. Transfiguration, too. Mcgonagall will be giving me a detention because she knows very well I am not ill.
"Libby?"
I wanted to scream. I couldn't get away from him! I turned slowly to look at Sirius. He had a hurt expression on his face. I frowned at him. He had run up to me and was standing about three feet from me.
"Stay away from me, Black," I snapped. Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Look, I'm sorry!" Sirius said, anger in his voice, "I'm going through something I've never gone through before and it's confusing and...and I just can't take it!"
"Take what, Sirius? The fact that for once someone isn't looking at you?" I asked.
"No! Libby!" Sirius groaned, "God, Libby, I'm jealous, okay? It's different and it's hard. Torturous even. I was jealous of the last bloke you dated. I'm jealous of James for being so close to you. I'm jealous that Ben asked you out first and that you agreed. I'm jealous he gets to kiss you and hug and say these nice things to you that I want to say myself!"
"You only want me as another toy," I said echoing what Malfoy had said. I winced at the thought.
"No," Sirius said shaking his head, "I've had a crush on you since first year. Since I saw you on the Platform. But I decided to be a prat about it and make fun of you. I didn't want you to know. And now I regret it."
"Well who's fault is that?" I asked.
"Oh please, Libby, you felt it too. When we kissed. You liked it and you wanted more. That was when I thought that maybe I had a chance. Things weren't awkward or crazy after that. And I saw the look in your eye when you looked at me. It wasn't like it usually was. But then Carlson had to get in the way," Sirius looked back at me and I could tell he was telling the truth. I gasped, my friends had been right.
"I didn't feel anything!" I lied, not wanting to betray my perfectly wonderful boyfriend.
"Wanna bet?" Sirius asked, stepping closer. I tried to step back, but my legs wouldn't move. I couldn't let him kiss me again. I don't know if I would be able to control myself in an empty common room like I was in a full bedroom.
"Get away," I whispered. Sirius was only inches from me now and gave a soft laugh. The minty fresh smell of his breath made my legs weak for a moment. My breath began to get short.
Then, after what seemed like hours, his soft lips once again, pressed against mine...
A/N: Ah, do you just LOVE cliffies? And just to add to it, I'm not going to give you a little something from chp 11: See If I Care. It'll give WAY to much away and I want Libby's reaction to be a complete surprise. No hints.