Disclaimer: Neither Jordan nor I own Supernatural.

A/N: Lyn: So yeah, this is gonna be an even more strange and random A/N than usual. Because I had about three hours' sleep and spent the day cooking and cleaning and trying not to kill the parents of the kids my grandmother babysits for being retarded, freeloading jerks…

Jordan: And I had to sell hot dogs. So review and make us feel better, please!

Chapter Ten – Silent Agreements

By the time the little scene in the waiting room was over, it seemed that every member of the hospital staff had been informed that Dean was awake… and had come to make sure they weren't being lied to. He was starting to feel like some sort of baby zoo animal that everyone had to come goggle at. Really, you'd think they would at least keep their voices down when they whispered about how they never thought he would wake up.

Needless to say, Dean was quite relieved Jordan and Sam returned and the two women who had been staring at him for a good two straight minutes (and whispering not-so-quietly about how amazing it was that he was alive) excused themselves. Not that he normally minded women staring at him; but that was just creepy, and a little insulting.

He wasn't sure whether to be feel relief or dread, though, when he caught the look on Sam's face. It wasn't hard to see that Jordan had already told him, and he felt even worse when he saw that Lyn wasn't with them. He couldn't really blame her, but it still made him feel guilty.

At least Jordan looked a little better, though. There were the marks of dried tears on her face, but her eyes were clear. And, God, she was still beautiful.

"Hey," Dean said slowly, looking from Jordan to Sam and back again. "I, uh… I guess you already talked to them, then…"

"Uh… yeah. How you feelin'? Your color's coming back." Jordan stepped up nervously and sat down on the chair next to Dean's bed, which brought them to eye level.

Sam took a seat in a chair by the door, ready to step in if things got too bad.

A muscle in the side of Dean's face twitched. "I'm fine. I guess demons do good work right up until the killing people part, huh?"

"Dean," Sam said warningly.

Jordan winced noticeably. "I'm glad you're okay," she said softly.

"I'm not okay," Dean said quietly. "I'm alive. There's a difference, Jordan."

Sam glared at his brother. "Dean, stop."

"It's fine, Sam. I deserve it," Jordan said, her tone unchanging.

"No, it's not fine," Dean said through a clenched jaw. "It's not right, none of this, okay? I'm the one who's supposed to die! I was supposed to die when I got zapped and that preacher's stupid wife shifted the reaper to go after somebody else, I was supposed to die when Dad did, I was supposed to die now, and people keep thinking they can stop it, but you can't! It's supposed to be me, that's why it keeps happening, and I can't watch it happen to you, too!"

"Dean… I'm sorry, okay? … You know what? No, I'm not sorry! You know damn well that if you were the one watching me die slowly in a coma, unable to see anything, talk, or even move, that you would have done the same thing, or tried something as desperate! Or at least I think you would have. So don't start laying all this on me! The only reason I did this is because I love you too much to see you suffer! The only reason your dad did what he did is because he loved you too much! It was a desperate act, and I'd do it again if it meant you'd be okay!" Jordan yelled at Dean, unable to keep her emotions under control any longer.

Sam seemed stunned by her sudden outburst, but he knew that what she said was completely true, and he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"You're not listening to me, Jordan!" Dean shot back earnestly, trying his hardest to make her understand. "Yeah, I know why you did it. Yeah, I probably would've done the same thing. But you keep talking like you think everything's gonna be fine and, in a year, I'm just gonna say goodbye and go back to hunting and living like I always have. I can't do that this time, Jordan! I won't!"

"Dean, no. Don't you even try. What's done is done, if you even try to weasel out of the deal, if any of us do, that son of a bitch demon is gonna put you right back in that coma. And also… if you do that… just know that I don't care if you'll be in a coma. I'll still kick your ass."

The corners of Jordan's lips twitched, the slightest of smiles gracing her features. Sam smirked and rolled his eyes; leave it to Jordan to make a joke out of a serious situation.

For once, though, Dean didn't feel like laughing. His eyes were serious and his voice was even. "If what's done can still be undone, then it's not over. I don't care what it takes, I'm not gonna bury or burn anyone else, least of all you. Not if there's a thing left that I can do about it."

"IT CAN'T BE UNDONE! DON'T YOU SEE THAT!? THE ONLY WAY IT CAN BE UNDONE ENDS WITH US BURYING YOU!" Jordan yelled.

Sam came up behind Jordan and put a hand on her arm, which was supposed to calm her down a little bit. Instead, it had the opposite effect. "Sam, get off me! He has to understand!"

"And if it isn't undone, it ends with me burying you!" Dean shot back, though his voice didn't really rise much in volume – just intensity. "You're the one who doesn't understand! When I said I don't care what it takes, I meant it. Do you really think I can just live with this? If something were to happen to you while we were on a hunt and I couldn't stop it, that would be bad enough. That would be more than I could deal with. I can't let you do this because of me. Not won't, Jordan – can't. Not you."

Despite the seeming strength of his voice, Dean was currently expending most of that strength to keep back tears. Why couldn't she grasp what he kept telling her? Why couldn't she understand that he didn't have a life without her any more, and he didn't want one?

Jordan didn't know what to say. They both had opposite views, both of them selfish. "We're never gonna agree, so let's just not talk about it any more," she said quietly, taking Dean's hand in her own. "Please."

Sam slipped out of the room, seeing he wasn't needed any more and wanting to give them privacy.

Dean met Jordan's gaze and saw in her eyes the same determination that he knew was in his. She was as stubborn and willful as ever – just like him, and probably the only woman alive who could put up with him. The only woman ever. And he could see that she wouldn't give up, and in a way, he took comfort in that. He saw it to mean that, when he did find a way out of this deal for her – and he would – even if the results were as she had said, that she would be able to keep going. Because she was strong and she would keep fighting.

If Dean had known what Lyn and Sam had seen in Jordan's eyes a week ago, he might have come to a different conclusion. But, as it was, he tightened his grip on her hand and nodded slowly. He wouldn't talk about it; but he wouldn't change his mind, either.