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After much wait, here is the next chapter! It's a shorty, so I'll try to get another chapter up in a day or two:)

Many months later, who should enter through the village gates but Anko, Sai, and Sasuke. The former -Anko and Sai- looked like the proverbial cats who just swallowed the canary: the latter looked more like the canary. All three were travel weary. It was a rainy evening, not a hard rain but a thick, foggy drizzle that invaded the bones, chilling the travelers to the core. As they made their way to the Hokage's office, Sasuke couldn't help but overhear the villagers whisper-

"There goes that Uchiha slut-"

"Uchiha bastard-"

"Hide your daughters! You-know-who is back!"

"Hn." Sasuke pretended he did not hear those hushed remarks and the doors slamming closed; he pretended he did not see his traveling companions grinning like idiots. He also pretended not to see Anko pat her swelling belly.

"Ah, my little Sasuke-kun, isn't nice to be home!" Anko put one arm around the sullen bastard, and with the other arm she messed up his hair. "Don't be such a grump!"

Sasuke silently rolled his eyes. Maybe I should have stayed a rouge nin...hn.

Finally, they reached the Hokage's office. Tsunade stated, "I trust the mission was a success?", while eyeing Anko's belly. Anko grinned. "Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Tsunade thought to herself, I can just tell from the brat's expression that this mission was waaaaay too much fun for Anko. Kami, wish I could have been there myself to see the hilarity go down.

"Well done. You two are dismissed. Anko, I'd like to hear your report in private."

After the men had left, Anko's laughter bellowed out of her. "Oh, Hokage-sama, I haven't had that much fun torturing a man since-"

The Hogake waved her hand, "I do not want to hear the end of that sentence, TMI as the young ones say. I want to know if you're going to get that kid to settle down!"

Anko winked at her. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to be a married woman!" Anko held out her hand and showed off a lovely sapphire ring. "And in case you're wondering, I proposed to him. Multiple times. Honestly, getting this ring on my finger was like fighting a long war of attrition."

Tsunade barked a laugh. "Anko, I can see you are going to have many years of happiness nagging the shit out of that Uchiha bastard. And I'll be offended if I'm not the one to officiate at your wedding."

Anko bowed, laughing all the while. "We would be honored, Hokage-sama!"

Elsewhere, a soggy Uchiha bastard made his way through the village to his apartment. All he wanted to do was shave, shower, and sleep, in that order. He didn't want to deal with anything else. His life was over. He was going to marry a domineering, insane- no psychotic!- woman whose only goal in life was to own and torture him. Shudder. What have I gotten myself into? Lost in thoughts dyed the color of emo depression, Sasuke stalked through the village, shoulders hunched, staring down at the puddles on the ground.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, welcome home!"

Oh great, I'm doomed. It's my number one fan girl.

Sakura walked up to Sasuke and flicked him on the forehead.

"Hn."

She took his hand and put it on her belly. "Don't get the wrong idea, the kid wants to say hi, not me." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What...?" Suddenly, he felt a little kick. "You were gone almost 5 months..." Sakura replied, sheepishly. "The little sucker's got legs and stuff..."

Sasuke smiled. Probably his first real smile in at least 10 years. He looked up at Sakura, who ruffled his hair. "I guess you're right junior," she said, rubbing her tummy, "Daddy's not so bad after all." She looked up at him and winked. "Just so you know Sasuke-kun, I'm engaged to Rock Lee, so I won't be having any more of your lil' babes. And we've got to work out some visitation stuff for you- I'd like for you to be a part of this little brat's life. But if you so much as try to seduce me, I'll kill you. I mean it, I have no compunctions about killing you, even if you are the father of this child. Kapish?"

Sasuke scratched his head. "Hn. Probably Anko would kill me again after I was already dead from you. I'm...engaged...too. To Anko. Yeah."

Sakura's eye's widened. "That's great Sasuke-kun! Oh, I should throw a little party for you guys! This is great! I would actually feel comfortable being your friend again if Anko has you under control! Oh this is so wonderful, well, see you later Uchiha-kun!"

"Hn. Later." Sasuke felt somewhat dazed as he watched the pink-haired kunoichi skip away. He thought he heard a "cha!" in the distance, but he just shook his head, not sure if he had just ended up in some strange, alternate universe. Sighing, he continued on his way home. He felt an unfamiliar, burning sensation on his face. Fearing he might have a fever, he rushed the rest of the way and took his temperature. After dealing with the uncomfortable piece of glass under his tongue for as long as he could stand, he read his temperature- normal. He looked in the mirror.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was blushing...Sasuke thought miserably, before jumping in the shower. He wasn't sure if he had ever blushed before in his life.

Aw, he's so cute when he's not an emotionless bastard, don't you think? I know this was short, but I promise the next chapter is going to be a riot!

Also, some news- I've got a new story up called "Aint Nobody That Can Sing Like Me", if you feel like checking it out, I'd love to have you there!

Ok, please read and review my friends! It would be most kind:)