Phil P.O.V

I was nervous about going to Dan's school, not because of him, because of the flashback I saw of myself in my supposed last school, I didn't want that to happen to me again. I was walking hand-in-hand along the path with Dan, we agreed to keep our 'status' low profile as many people could be homophobic there, so as soon as we turned the corner to the school, my hand fell cold. I took a deep breath; it couldn't be that bad could it?

"You ready Phil? I'll have to take you to the principal Ms. Walsh she's really nice so don't worry, I hope you're in some of my classes…" Dan said forcing a small smile onto his face, he was nervous for me as well, he told me when we were leaving.

"I'll be fine Dan, I'll stay low I don't want people to get to me easily. I know you want me to hang with you and PJ and Chris but I don't know, people will wonder who I am as you're so popular and all." I said with a slight lump in my throat, truth is I just didn't want Dan to be seen with a pale skin looser who 'doesn't fit' with populars.

"No Phil, you're coming to hang with my friends, you can meet some of my other as well. Its fine none of them will refuse to let you hang out with us, we're not like the stereotype popular group. Promise." I could see in his eyes and smile he was being truthful, so I smiled back and started to the school gates, missing the feel of his hand in mine but it had to be that way.

The school was quite big from the outside, looking down on me, I felt a few turns in my stomach as we entered the doors it was normal for this feeling on your first day right?

"Ok, I need to get to form time now, I'll see you later, meet me by this door if you cant find me or need me for something, or just text me." He looked around – the hall way was clear. He gave my hand a tight squeeze and a quick peck to the lips before heading up the corridor.

Just knock Phil, can't be that bad, its only the principal.

"Come in, I don't bite." I heard a soft voice coming from inside – maybe Dan was right; she's a nice head-teacher.

"Uh- Uhm, Hi Miss. I'm Phil, the new student?" I said trying to put a confident face on so I don't look pathetic in front of her for the first time.

"Ah! I've been waiting for you Phil, Lester right? Mhm, ok. Take a seat." She was looking at a sheet of paper, her hair tied messily into a loose high bun and her blouse at least, it had some buttons done up.

"Yeah, Phil Lester. And ok" I took the seat opposite her desk and waited for her to take her sight off the sheet in her hand.

"Ok Phil, here's your timetable" she handed me the paper she was just reading, it looked like a bunch of boxes in a blue but I soon understood it "I'll escort you to your first period, which is form time, can you read what it is, just to check you know how to read the damn thing – it can get complicated" I scanned for Monday, ah form time.

"I have Mr. Sutton for form time in L8" I said looking up and putting the timetable in my backpack that I had borrowed from Dan as I couldn't lug round my trench bag which was all ripped around the school.

"Ah, you'll love this form, they are a right mix of good and bad, especially with Mr. Sutton's form, they're the best I've seen so full of joy and sprit, he's a great teacher and he is very kind, he'll take you in no problem" she smiled and standing up to lead me my way.

We got to the door, I was getting more butterflies now, I hope I knew someone in form as I was going to be there in the morning for half and hour as well as the afternoon everyday. She opened the door, but she told me to stay outside till she told Mr. Sutton I was joining the form.

She came back with a smile plastered on her face "Let's go Phil! The form are waiting, they don't know they've got a new pupil though" she let out a simple giggle before leading me in, I looked around I knew no one, but then a certain brown haired boy took my eye – Dan. I smiled he didn't notice he was spun around talking to some boys behind him on the back row.

"Class, we have a new pupil joining our form today, Phil Lester. Phil care to introduce you to the form? We like to know each other well." He was a chirpy teacher, his geeky glasses and head full of hair I guessed around his late 20's

Dan still hadn't turned around he was too deep in the conversation, I looked around the rest of the class were listening apart from the 3 students in the top left corner of the room, Dan and too friends I'm guessing. "Err, hi. I'm Phil and I like… computery stuff like filming?" I said timidly, I wasn't sure what to say.

"Ah! You sound interesting, now take a seat next to Dan, he's the one turned around not listening at the back- DAN TURN AROUND, for the fifth time so far, he turned around and locked glaze with me – I couldn't help but snigger at his face it was priceless. I went and sat where I was told to.

"Hey stranger" I said with a slight laugh in my voice

"Y-you're in my form? Omg yes!" he then did a little victory dance before introducing me to his 2 friends.

"Phil, this is Jack and Finn – as you can properly see they're twins" he said turning m around to face them – I see it now, I was a bit blind earlier I guess.

"Hi Phil." They said at the same time – freaky.

"Hey, its freaky how similar you two look" I let out a small 'heh' before the bell went I'm guessing I was in the office longer than I thought.

"C'mon Phil, I'll take you to your next lesson, what ya got?" Dan asked.

"Err, Art with Ms. Radford in D12, I'm so going to get lost in this school" I shook my head as I looked at the mini map I had been given as well as my timetable

"Nah, you wont I'll get you around, wait what room? D12? No way! I'm there as well! Freaky huh?!" I smiled and had to restrict my hands by placing them in my pockets so I didn't mistakenly slide mine into his, that would be very awkward.

Nothing exciting had happened in Art, we just sat together and nearly broke out into a full on paint-war before Ms. Radford took the brushes off us and replaced them with crayons. I'll try being better next art lesson.

It was now break time and I had to go toilets so I left Dan to go to his friends and I'd catch up with him later, text him to help me find him or something. I went to the toilet, and when I was washing my hands the door opened, around 5 boys came in, all fairly built – I had a backpack on my shoulders, I was pale and some scars were showing from under my jumper where it had risen and I was on my own, I guess I looked like a target by their glances.

"Hi new boy, how are you today huh?" one of them said faking a grin to try seem friendly – most certainly did not seem friendly. I backed into the block holding the sink.

"H-Hi? I'm g-g-good" I stuttered out I didn't want that flashback to happen here, please oh god no.

"Too bad – we're going to make it hell. You look like a little emo-scum, pale skin, black hair, oh look!" one of them grabbed my wrist and rolled up the sleeve "he is an emo" I winced as some cuts were still healing

"P-please, let g-o, I d-did nothing" I tried to un-attach his grip with no luck, he was stronger than I thought, for my attempt he just gripped tighter, I winced once again.

"Aw, we'll let you go then little emo." He said sarcastically before I got a knee right in the stomach, I guess he did let go, but he didn't leave…

All at one time they took punches and kicks at me, my arms, legs, ribs, everywhere, I shield my head with my arms strongly, but then someone came in, I couldn't look up to see who it was I had my eyes squeezed shut in pain keeping back tears – they would only make it worse.

"Hey! Let him go! He didn't do anything." I heard the voice saying I couldn't hear him properly through all the throbbing in my head.

"Why should we? Aw you made friends with the emo boy? How cute I guess you can watch then, Jake, Matt grab him" I only then just realised who it was by opening one eye as two pairs of legs left me – Dan.

I got kicked in the head by the main boy – and it all went black.

Dan P.O.V

"Hey guys, Phil is taking ages. I'm going to try find him he could be wandering the hallways lost like a puppy" I laughed joking around with the boys, along with some of the girls and set off to find Phil. Well he said he was going to the bathroom so I checked there first – my god I was right to check for him.

"Hey! Let him go! He didn't do anything." I shouted helplessly at the 5 kids, they were all in our year. Mason, Jordan, Adam, Jake and Matt. The school smokers, druggies, bullies you name it they're them yet teachers don't seem to 'notice' them.

"Why should we? Aw you made friends with the emo boy? How cute I guess you can watch then, Jake, Matt grab him" I was getting angry I could see Phil curled up in a tight ball on the filthy floor, I got grabbed by my two arms and yanked onto my knees I couldn't just watch the other 3 beat the living shit out of my boyfriend, I tried to get out of their grasp but they had me tight.

Mason began kicking Phil again, I saw one go into his face and his arms went limp – they had just knocked him out. Crap. I struggled to get out again, no luck.

"Hey, Dan stop trying its not going to work, Mason wants what he wants" Jake said to me, he used to be one of my friends, until Mason promised him better status at the school – not to mention free tobacco and alcohol.

"He's just friggen knocked him out I wont let it happen Jake!" after that Matt kicked my back making me crumple to the floor again to watch Phil's helpless body being kicked and hurt it hurt me as well.

Finally Mason stopped with the kicks and hits, but picked Phil up and with the help of Adam threw him in the cubical, his limp body hitting into the crooked cubical shape. I managed to get free as they all left and go check on Phil

"Phil. Phil, wake up please. I'm sorry it was all my fault" I began to sob quietly into his hair, I didn't care if people saw me, I just wanted Phil to wake up, I wanted him to be ok. It was all my fault.

I waited holding him on my lap for around 10 minutes until his eyes began to gently flutter open, I smiled as I saw the flashes of blue and then a single tear tumbling down from the corner of his eye – that tear was my fault.

"Phil, thank god you woke up. I was so worried. I'm sorry for leaving you alone I should of know Mason's group would search down the new boy, I'm so sorry please forgive me" I blabbered on hugging him tightly around the waist when he winced with pain I eased off a little.

"I-its ok Dan, you d-didn't mean to l-let them get me. I-I'm fine. C-can we go h-home? A-ask the n-nurse?" I leant down and gave him a peck on the lips and nodded at home before getting up, but Phil tried – but he couldn't. he couldn't, it was my fault.

The nurse let us go home, as clearly Phil couldn't stand up and I said id take him hospital, but I couldn't he didn't want to. I took him home supporting him with my arm around his back and slowly we got home.

I let Phil lay on my bed while I went and made 2 hot chocolates and some toast.

Phil P.O.V

I didn't want that flashback to happen. But it happened in its own way.

I lay on Dan's bed it smelt like him, cinnamon and a woody sent filled my nose, he had a perfect mix of smells. I winced when I tried to sit up so I laid back down, whishing all the pain and bruising to go away, it was sick they had beat me for having a few cuts, they didn't know my past – neither did I.

Dan came back up with toast and hot chocolate – he knew me well, I let out a weak smile as he sat on the bed besides me and ran his fingers gently through my hair.

"Dan, I'm sorry I was a wimp"

"Phil, you were no way a wimp, they do it to almost every new-boy they come across with, I wish I stayed with you, I knew one of them he wouldn't have beat you if I was there." I sighed at what Dan had said, he felt guilt when it wasn't his fault all I could do was cuddle and sleep it away.

Pain. Torture. Beatings. Queer. Gay. Faggot. Phil.

These words kept running through my head as I snuggled into Dan's chest he made me feel safe yet I was so unsafe from my thoughts, they wouldn't stop, they were on loop in my messed up brain, I needed a release. The only way I already knew was cutting, I needed;

A razor.

I poked my head up from Dan's chest, saying I had to go bathroom he helped me up I know he didn't want me doing this but it would stop the pain it would stop my torture from the inside. He sat outside the door while I was supposed to be 'doing my business' but in reality I was looking for a razor or something.

"Phil you're taking a while are you ok?" Dan asked from outside, I wish I could say 'no' but I had to lie.

"Yeah just coming out now" my voice cracked in the end part, I found my razor and held it to my already torn up skin.

Emo. Scum. Bastard. No-good-for-anyone. Worthless.

The words kept repeating adding more and more to the endless list, I let out a small cry when I felt the blood trickle down my arm.

"Phil? Are you crying? That's it I'm coming in." Dan opened the door I was frozen with the razor about to do a second cut, Dan's face was like the painting 'scream' he took the razor from my hand then looked at my wrist and crystal eyes filled with tears, I broke down in front of him.

"Phil! We agreed no more, what made you cut, was it Mason and his friends?" Dan's face had turned to concern, I shook my head it was but the words were the pain part.

"N-no, words are r-repeating in m-my head, ones that h-hurt. L-like; Queer, Faggot, Emo, Worthless, I c-couldn't take I-it Dan!" I had now fully started to shake, I felt worthless and I didn't deserve such a great boyfriend like Dan was to me, I was a wreck, I should've died them months back. I shouldn't have been saved.

"oh, Phil… I don't know what to say, please let me clear the cut and then we can cuddle and you get some rest, mkay?" he got the cloth again – it was too familiar.

Cuts attended to. Tears washed away. We lay in Dan's bed he had him arms strongly wrapped around my waist and mine were around his. He pecked my lips, it was soft and romantic at the same time – I was ok. Then I heard him whisper 5 words into my ear before I drifted to sleep happy and away from evil, my guardian angel's wings wrapped gently around my waist protecting me from all bad and evil.

"I love you, my Angel"