Sunday November 23, 2008
3:48 PM - TD Banknorth Garden (Boston, MA)
The arena in Boston was abuzz because of tonight's pay-per-view broadcast. Survivor Series was going to close with the triumphant return of John Cena (from his three month injury leave) taking on World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho. I don't think anyone was going to be surprised with the outcome of that match. Yet it was another return that I was looking forward to... even if it was at the expense of my slightly embittered best friend.
Adam was making his return to the Smackdown brand tonight. The title match for the WWE Championship was set up as a triple threat between champion Triple H and contenders Vladimir Kozlov and Jeff Hardy. Yet WWE decided to pull Jeff from the match and insert a returning Adam in it. The way they were going about it however was rubbing many people backstage the wrong way. The WWE website had announced this morning that Jeff was found unconscious in a Boston hotel stairwell. Already, internet sites were buzzing over if this was fact or fiction because of Jeff's past.
So fiction... but disgusting fiction.
I couldn't believe that the creative team had sunk that low to make the storyline so ambiguous. If they said in their report that he was attacked in the stairwell, that would have been one thing. But this was just playing off people's emotions and feelings for Jeff. I knew that he was backstage and I wanted to talk to him about it, but I just didn't think I could bring myself to. He had yet to try and extend some form of communication to me, even when his brother got hurt on the overseas tour. Matt had injured a ligament in his knee as well as pulling his groin muscle, but I had to hear about it from the online wrestling sites instead of my friends. It just showed how deep bonded friendships could disintegrate in a blink of an eye.
Adam... the reason for the schism between me and my friends. Yet the past few weeks, there had been a self imposed one between the two of us as well. I was overseas and trying my best to sort through my true feelings for the man by myself. No matter how many times Chris blithely begged me to open up and talk to him, I was best on my own, especially since I knew every word I said would be reported back to my blond in the States. Yet after the two weeks, I was more confused than ever.
After the European tour from Hell, I was finally given five days off just to relax and unwind. Raw in Atlanta was uneventful and my days in Cameron were spent mostly in bed recuperating. Physical and mental stress had taken a huge toll on my body. Lying in my own bed did my body wonders and I was able to sleep hour after hour while I could barely get one while in Europe.
The one thing missing from my week was Adam. I was able to convince him, how I'll never know, to not come to Atlanta to meet me when I landed. It was a hard sell, but I think he knew that I needed my space. After all I had been through the past month, he was smart to give it to me. Even so, he wasn't very happy about it. I told him that I was too tired to be good company and just wanted to be alone. After a lot of complaining, grumbling, and me promising that I would make it up to him, he relented.
I had just arrived at the arena a few minutes ago and checked in with the rest of the Divas in the locker room. Tonight we had a five on five traditional Survivor Series match - Team Raw versus Team Smackdown. I had to put my excitement that I would get to throw around Michelle in the ring to the side... because I was more excited about seeing my own blond once again. Even though I needed some time to myself, it only made me miss him that much more. I needed to see him... to touch him and hold him in my arms.
I had left the Diva's locker room almost as soon as I arrived to go and search for him. I didn't have a clue of what I would say to him; it had been a few days since we had really spoken. Yet I knew I would think of something. Besides, my mouth was looking to do more than just talk with him. I made my way to catering, waving at a slightly agitated Stephanie McMahon as she walked past. Day of a pay-per-view: definitely the most stressful time of the month.
As I walked into the catering area, my arm was grabbed from behind and I was whipped around. I tried the best to temper my anger, but knew that it was hopeless. I pushed back at whomever had the mettle to grab me like that.
"Long time no see."
All of the anger drained from me as the voice stopped me cold. I looked up into derisive hazel irises that I knew matched my own. The anger was beginning to build once more little by little the more I stared and the more she glowered.
Amy...
...
Sunday December 16, 2007
11:58 PM - Mellon Arena (Pittsburgh, PA)
I groaned as I pushed open the heavy locker room door and entered the abandoned arena hallway. Even though I was not on the card for the pay-per-view tonight, I still needed to attend. I was given the opportunity - aka told by Vince that I had to - to live chat on the website during the show. As much as I loved the WWE fans, it was hell. I just wanted to watch the show in peace, but instead, had to type every few moments about my thoughts of the action or answer questions that were either ridiculously stupid or banal. How does it feel to be a WWE Diva? Who was your role model? Isn't Jeff Hardy hot?
What a great night...
I had to hope that Melina waited for me. Even though, like me, she was not on the card, she had come to the show in support of John. They were trying their best to get their relationship back to where it once was after many months of estrangement and anger. She was doing everything she could to show John that she was finally ready to fully commit to just him, and wanted to show him any way she could.
I quickly pulled my luggage behind me as I rushed down the hallway. I had my cell phone in my other hand, scrolling through my contacts trying to find Melina's entry. I made it close to the end of the hallway when I crashed into something hard. My phone skidded across the linoleum floor. My bag stopped short in my grasp and fell to the ground. And I stumbled backwards, tripping over the now lying bag, and fell to the floor, smacking my head against the hard, unforgiving cinderblock wall.
"Fuck!"
The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but I was still trying my best to keep from blacking out to truly place it. I opened my eyes, but everything was blurred and double. I blinked them open and shut a few times, but it only did a little to help. I tried to situate myself better on ground, yet it just made the fuzziness worse. I felt a hand on my shoulder and subconsciously shuddered, trying to push it off. The light pressure did not let up.
"Are you alright?"
Now, I was able to place the voice and I instantly relaxed. At least it wasn't a total stranger. I shook my head slightly, but it did more harm to my throbbing head. I groaned and tried to slump over, but was quickly held in a sitting position.
"Okay, I know this going to sound ridiculous, but can you tell me your name?"
I whipped my head around to look at him, but once again, only felt worse for it. I opened my eyes and looked at the concerned man squatting nearby, his hand still lightly perched on my shoulder. My eyes could focus better than before and I could take in his chiseled features that were staring at me expectantly and with concern.
"I know my name, Adam," I grumbled, reaching up to rub the back of my head.
"'Adam' would be my name, beautiful," he joked, lightly massaging my shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Now, your name is..."
"Fuck off," I grumbled, reaching out to push his hand off my shoulder. As much as I appreciated his concern, we weren't the closest of friends. Actually, my friends still thought he was Satan in disguise.
"Well, Ms. Fuck Off, let's see if you can answer my next question," Adam joked, bringing his hand back down on my shoulder to stop me from moving. "Where are you?"
"Obviously, in some really boring part of Hell because I am here with you," I muttered, trying my best to rise up off the ground. Adam was much to strong and kept me seated on the floor.
"Quite a spitfire tonight, huh?" he mused with a laugh. "You should get a concussion more often."
"I don't have a concussion," I stated heatedly, trying my best to glare in his direction. It wasn't the easiest as I could still see two of him. "Just a little dizzy."
"Which could mean a concussion, ergo the reason for my questions," he replied, putting his knees down on the floor so he could get a better look at my eyes. "Now, try to focus on my finger."
"I've got a finger for you right here," I said, raising my left hand in a one-finger salute to the man in front of me.
He just laughed and slowly waved a finger in front of my irises. I tried my best not to give in, but found myself subconsciously following the digit as it passed my eyes. By the time he was done, my vision had gone from double to only slightly blurry.
"You taste pennies?" he asked, dropping his arm back to his side.
"No," I mumbled, looking away from his beaming green eyes.
As annoyed as I was, I couldn't help but feel a little grateful for the Canadian. For how much time was spent in my circle of friends bashing him, Adam really seemed like he had matured greatly from the time of the whole Amy fiasco. Before then, we were friends, not as close as the Hardys and he were, but we were close. When he and Amy got together, all of the bonds were broken between us. I stood by Matt, but silently grieved for all that we lost. It wasn't just Adam, Amy, and Matt who were affected. Everyone who considered the three of them close friends was forced to choose sides, dividing and destroying relationships that seemed to have no hope of being rebuilt.
"At least you are giving me actual answers now," Adam replied humorously. "We've made some progress."
"I'm fine Adam, really I am," I said, once more trying to stand.
Adam sighed and rose to his feet. He reached down and grasped both of my arms, pulling me to my feet. I balanced myself, noticing that things were still a little blurrier than I would have liked them to be. Yet I wasn't about to tell the man in front of me that. When I thought that I could stand on my own with toppling back to the ground, I pulled my arms free from his light hold.
"Thanks for the help," I murmured under my breath, as I slowly reached down to grab the handle of my suitcase to set it upright.
He nodded his head and stepped back a few paces, reaching down to pick up my phone. He held it out to me and I took it wordlessly, unsure if there was anymore that I had to say to the blond. I finally picked up my handbag from where it had fallen and started to cautiously walk the rest of the hallway.
"You heading to Rochester?"
Adam's question hung between us as he came up along my side. I spared him a quick glance before looking forward once more, turning the corner and almost running into two suitcases. He sheepishly glanced at me before grasping them and wheeling them out of my way.
"No, Buffalo," I answered, figuring that I owed the man that much. "I have a match on Raw tomorrow night."
"Oh, right: the Santa's Little Helper match," he replied with a grin. I looked away from the blond and back to the phone in my hand, once again to try and call Melina and see where we were meeting up. "I saw the costumes on the rack in the seamstress's area. Got to love the Holiday season."
"Whatever you say," I mumbled under my breath. "So yeah, I am hitching a ride with John and Melina. She should be around here somewhere..."
"I thought I saw them leave already," Adam said quizzically, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. "I saw them arguing when I was going over my match with Vince. Must've been two hours..."
"Fucking great!" I scoffed, angrily whacking the top of my suitcase with my phone."Now, I'm stuck."
"You could always ride with me?" Adam said questioningly. I looked over at him like he had grown another head, but it only spurred him to continue. "I've been driving with Matt and Brian the past few weeks. Working on our team, you know?"
"Yeah, congrats on the match," I muttered uncaringly as I scrolled through my contacts to see if there was anyone I could call.
"But they went on ahead since I had to see the trainer about my shoulder after the match... so I would be riding solo," he continued, not halted by my lack of interest.
"You are going to Rochester, not Buffalo," I replied flatly, still not lifting my gaze from my phone's screen.
"It's along the way," he said cheekily, yet also slightly hesitant. "Besides, it will save me some driving. We could split the ride. So, actually, you'd be doing me a favor."
I let my eyes rise to meet his own. He shrugged, nervously tapping his fingers on the handle of his suitcase. Even though it wasn't the most appealing option, it seemed to be my only one... or the only one that was staring me right in the face. I let my phone drop into my handbag and sighed.
"Alright, let's go," I muttered, turning from him to start walking once more.
We rolled our bags in silence through the winding corridors of the Mellon Arena and made our way outside into the cold Pittsburgh air. An almost four hour car ride with Adam Copeland was not how I envisioned my night ending, but it was better than being stranded. I pulled my coat tighter around my form to shield me from the cold as we quickened our pace to his rental. Adam popped the trunk and lifted all three of our bags into the cavity. He slammed it shut before walking to the passenger side and opening the door. I rose my brow quizzically as he held the door open.
"Thanks," I murmured inquisitively, carefully getting in the car.
Once he was sure that I was inside, Adam slammed the door shut hustling around to the driver's side. He opened the door, sat down, and slammed the door so quickly that barely any of the winter air was able to enter. Still, I was quite thankful when he started the engine and the heater sprung to life. He backed the car out of the spot and soon the Mellon Arena was just a shadow in the rearview mirror.
Besides the loud rock music that was permeating from the speakers, there was not a sound to be heard. Adam and I seemed to not know how to converse with each other. Granted, it had been years since we had said more than a few words to each other at a time. We were colleagues now, not friends. Yet it seemed like things were changing... maybe.
About an hour into our ride, my cell phone started to vibrate in my handbag on my lap. I figured it was probably just Melina calling, making sure that I found a ride out of Pittsburgh. Nevertheless, I blindly grabbed for the vibrating device in my bag. When I pulled it out, I was shocked to find that it was actually my best friend whom was on the receiving end.
I had just seen him earlier in the night at the pay-per-view, but he ducked out quickly after his match. Even so, I doubted that he could have made it to Buffalo already, but he needed to be since I knew that he was scheduled for the broadcast as well. Maybe he raced there and found a hotel and was calling to let me know I had a place to crash? I reached out and silenced the Avenged Sevenfold song that was blaring from the radio before accepting the call.
"Hi Jeff," I said, looking over at my blond driver. He shot me a nod, before turning his eyes back to the dark Pennsylvania road.
"Hey darlin'."
I sighed as I heard the slurring Southern drawl that came from the other end. So much for him being in Buffalo. I just hoped that it wasn't as bad as it sounded.
"What's the matter?" I asked, but only received an unintelligible ramble as a response.
I groaned, sinking back into the leather of the car seat. He continued to ramble and slur through a few minutes of speech. I couldn't understand much... a few names, a lot of sound effects, but nothing that resembled a clear thinking individual. It was obvious that my best friend was under the influence of something. I prayed that it was just a few somas - still absolutely horrible for a recovered addict but better than some of the harder stuff that both of us had done once upon a time.
"Jeff," I interrupted, trying my best to stop his rambling. After a few moments, he quieted down and I hoped that I had his attention. I spared a glance at Adam next to me and saw that while his eyes may have been on the road, his ears were definitely perked to my conversation. I leaned further into the door and lowered my voice for my next query. "What did you take?"
"I didn't take nothing," Jeff slurred in response. I wanted to blurt out that while his grammar was never the best, even he didn't speak in double negatives unless he was truly impaired. Instead, I opted for a more comforting tone and line of discourse.
"You aren't speaking clearly," I whispered into the phone, not wanting to give too much away to the man only a few inches from me. "You're slurring and you sound horrible. Now please, tell me what you took?"
My query went unanswered. All I heard was heavy breathing through the speaker. I shook my head, trying my best to keep my glassy eyes calm. Yet I had thought that we were past this horrible part of both of our lives. Obviously, I was being too optimistic.
"Did you take too much?" I asked quietly, even though I was unsure of exactly what he had consumed. "Are you alone?"
Once again, there was little response. I sighed and pressed my head against the cold window. I looked at the sparse headlights that were coming in my direction, trying to keep my emotions in check. The last thing I wanted to do was fall apart, and in front of Adam Copeland no less. After a few more moments of silence, I opened my mouth to speak yet the words never came out as I was halted by the angry words of my best friend.
"Where the fuck do you get off judgin' me? You started all of this, you fuckin' bitch!"
"Jeff, please..." I whispered into the phone, as I felt the first tear leak from the corner of my eye.
"You gave me this... I mean, you made me this," he continued, heatedly slurring through his venomous words of hate. "Your fault. All this is your fault."
I brought my free hand up to my eyes and tried to wipe away all traces of the wetness that had formed, including the tracks of the few tears that had managed to fall. Hearing Jeff's inflammatory words just made me have to relive my past demons. And in a way, he was right. My own weakness had pulled him into that intoxicating world. Yet I thought that we both had escaped. Things may not have been perfect in my life at the moment, but I was at least clean and sober. Jeff, on the other hand, seemed to have relapsed.
"Jeff, I'm so..."
"Anyway, what'cha doin'?"
My mouth gaped open in surprise. His voice was still slurred and raspy, but there was no malice in his tone. It seemed as if he didn't remember anything he had just said. I tried to swallow my own distress and continued on like nothing had happened; trying to act as if his inflammatory comments did not wound my still bruised and fragile soul.
"Um... just driving to Buffalo," I replied as upbeat as I could. "Have to be at Raw tomorrow you know."
"Oh well, have fun darlin'," he responded, seemingly distant and distracted all of a sudden. "Talk soon. Bye."
And just like that, he was gone. Silence was all I heard. No heavy breathing. No scathing remarks. Just silence.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen. The pixels of my wallpaper did little to ease my sorrow. It was a picture of Jeff and I, smiling cheesily at the screen. It was taken a few months ago, when he began his true singles push toward the WWE Championship. It seemed like the company was finally seeing him as a true contender. And just tonight, he had beat Triple H to become the Number One Contender for Randy Orton's title. Yet after this apparent relapse, it seemed like things were about to crumble for the rainbow haired man once more.
The screen faded to black as the backlight cut off and I felt more tears form and begin to fall. A sob emerged from my throat and I realized that there was no way I would be able to hide my sorrow from my companion. It was no use. I hardly ever cried. I had liked to keep my emotions to myself. But they couldn't stay bottled up forever and when they did eventually come out, it was impossible for me to contain it. Especially when it came to Jeff.
No matter how far both of us had come, I still blamed myself for his downfall and troubles. I wanted to help pull him out of it and thought that I had succeeded. Yet now, it seemed that I had failed once more. Just because the Wellness Policy drug testers had visited the brand a week ago did not mean they wouldn't be back. If he was caught, this push he was being given would definitely end and it would be unlikely that he would get another chance. Many of the higher-ups still saw him as a screw up: this would just add more evidence to their claim.
The tears refused to cease as I tried my best to control my sobbing. I reached out to turn the radio on once more to cover up the sound of my own emotions. The radio came back to life with an annoying commercial for some fast food chain. I didn't care as I let my face fall into my hands, trying my best to conceal all of the evidence of my emotional outburst. Even over the loud talking, I could hear Adam mumble something. I didn't respond, just kept my head in my hands trying my best to let all of my sadness wash down my cheeks with my tears.
A few moments later, I felt the car stop and simultaneously all of the noise die allowing my sobs to come through loud and clear. The sound seemed to echo throughout the small space and just magnify my grief. I felt a slight pull on my arm. I resisted at first, keeping my face hidden in my hands. Yet the pull was too great and I found myself soon wrapped in the arms of Adam Copeland.
It was a slightly awkward embrace as the center panel of the car kept us separated. I guess it could be a metaphor for our current relationship as well... close but not close enough. There would always have to be some distance between us. Yet at this moment, none of that seemed to matter. I let my arms wrap around his form and buried my face in the cotton tee on his chest. He brought his lips to my ear and began to calmly whisper words of comfort. It did little to quell my sobs, but he continued on.
After a few moments, I pulled away. I pushed back and returned to sitting comfortably in my own seat. I reached up to wipe away all of the wetness my fingers could find. I knew that I probably looked a mess, but I needed to try and compose myself. I already had a moment of weakness in front of Adam. I didn't want to make him think I was a true emotional wreck. I spared him a quick look and nodded.
"Thanks - I'm fine now," I said before turning to look out the window.
The desolate wooded area was of little comfort to my still racing mind, but at least I wasn't embarrassing myself in front of Adam any longer. A few moments passed and nothing changed. The car did not start up. Adam did not speak. Silence was my only comfort. Until, I felt him reach over and take my hand in his. I looked down at his larger hand encasing my own and had to fight another tear that was about to fall.
"You know you can talk to me," Adam said, breaking the deafening hush. I glanced up through glassy eyes and found his concerned moonlit irises. "I won't say anything to anyone. I know how Jeff can get."
"Thanks," I murmured in response, squeezing his hand gently to let him know that I appreciated the offer. Yet I didn't think that I could physically or emotionally deal with a conversation with anyone at the moment. I was best to be left in my own mind.
He smiled slightly before squeezing my hand in return. After a moment more, he detangled his fingers from mine and brought it to the key in the ignition. The car came to life once more and the loud strains of Guns N' Roses assailed my ears. Yet neither of us made any move to adjust the volume. We went back to being lost in our own thoughts, the music keeping us from feeling as awkward as we probably should have felt.
The next three hours went by quicker than they should have seemed. We did not switch off driving. I didn't want to speak up and Adam must've figured that I needed the time to myself. I didn't fall asleep for the whole trip, even though the lines on the road were quite hypnotizing. I just tried to work through my emotions in my own mind. Nothing really made sense and I hoped that a good night sleep would solve some of my problems. I also hoped that when I called Jeff in the morning he would be alert, recovered, and able to wrestle. I would take even two of those things. I just wanted Jeff to be like his non-drug using self.
Adam pulled up to a Hampton Inn when we reached Buffalo. I thought that he might just let me off and continue to Rochester, but he surprised me by parking the car and getting out with me. He procured my bag from the trunk and we entered the lobby of the hotel in silence but together. I gave him a quizzical look when he reserved a room for the night as well. Even though it was four in the morning, we both still needed a place to crash to try and get a few hours of sleep.
We both got our room key cards and headed to the elevator. I reached for my floor number as he reached for his. Our fingers briefly touched and I awkwardly pulled away, stumbling to avoid any more contact. I heard him chuckle slightly, but I refused to meet his gaze.
Instead, I stared at my own reflection in the mirrored wall of the elevator compartment. My makeup was a mess. My eyes were still red and slightly puffy. Well, at least I knew that my outside mirrored what I was feeling on the inside.
The elevator dinged and came to a halt. I looked at the number and realized that it must've been Adam's stop. He spared me a wave as he rolled his two bags out of the compartment as soon as the doors opened. I watched his retreating form, biting my bottom lip as I thought about what my mind was telling me to do. Sure, he had been a great comfort to me in the car, but this was Adam Copeland I was talking about. Could I really... should I?
"Hey Adam!" I exclaimed as the doors began to close.
I reached out and stuck my hand in the way of the doors which slowly opened once more. He turned around and shot me a confused look. I sighed, closing my eyes to truly think about what I was doing... what the consequences might be. Yet at the moment, I didn't care about what the future might have held.
"Maybe... maybe we can get together sometime," I said sheepishly with a small smile. "You know, talk and catch up."
"Um, yeah," he replied with a slightly surprised look. Soon, his lips perked into a full grin and the butterflies that for some reason had been swirling in my stomach quieted down. "I'd like that."
I nodded, looking down at my feet awkwardly as I stepped back to let the doors close. I looked up just in time to see him give me a slightly shy yet adorable wave before the door shut. I smiled before my mind caught up with me.
Did I just think that Adam Copeland was 'adorable'?
...
"What do you want, Amy?"
I pulled my arm free from her grasp and stared directly into her partially hair covered eyes. Her famous dyed red hair were no more as she had opted for a huge change to try and put her wrestling persona behind her. Her now black locks might have obscured some of her eyes, but I could still see the anger that was radiating through them. I really wasn't in the mood for anything that she had to say to me.
"I got a phone call from Matt and he said that I should stop on by for a visit," Amy said with a sickeningly annoying grin on her bright red lips. "That I might hear some surprising news."
I scoffed at her and turned to walk away and back down the hallway. I really didn't want to have a confrontation with her, especially so close to the catering area. Too many prying eyes and big, busybody ears. I only got a few paces away from her when I heard her high heeled boots clicking behind me.
"He didn't tell me the news himself; said it would make a bigger impact if I saw it firsthand," she continued, but I refused to turn around and give her any of my time. "Imagine my surprise when I got here and had to hear all about you and Adam. Isn't it funny how the shoe is now on the other foot? Or in our situation, the same one."
"The same foot?" I said with a roll of my eyes and wave of my hand, still trying my best to not let Amy bother me. We were friends once and I really didn't want to cause any more ill feelings between us than were already there. "There is a huge difference between you and me."
"Oh really?" she said with a scathing chuckle. "That's not how I see it."
"I don't give a fuck how you see it," I mumbled, still trying my best to keep calm. "Adam and I were single when we got together. We didn't hide our relationship because we were being unfaithful."
"Minor details," she muttered, causing me to stop mid-stride. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, there was a huge difference and I intended to make her see it. I turned around and glared at her with my own enraged eyes.
"We hid our relationship so we wouldn't have to deal with all of this bullshit," I vented through gritted teeth. We were only a few paces from both of the locker rooms and I didn't want to draw attention to this altercation. I just wanted to make my point. "So, don't even try to pretend that we're in the same league of wrongdoing."
"Honey, whether you want to admit it or not, we are the same," she replied with a bitter chuckle, the mocking grin still not leaving her lips. "Regardless of the minor details, we both hid our relationships from the people we love."
I just shook my head and turned away from her. I realized that this whole altercation was just a fit of jealousy. Sure, Matt was the one who lured her in. But once she found out the reason for his call, instead of acting like a mature adult, she pulled the high school lovestruck girl card. The green eyed monster had struck and I didn't want to deal with it.
"So, has anyone said anything behind your back yet?" Amy questioned with a scornful laugh. "Excluding Matt and the rest of the Core cause I am sure they have talked up a Everleigh-bashing storm. Have they..."
I didn't let her finish. I had tried to be the better more mature woman, but she had pushed me way too far. I spun around and stepped within an inch of her face, making her stumble slightly backward in surprise.
"Shut the fuck up," I vented, trying my best to keep most of my anger in check. Words were fine, actual physical altercation might force a suspension or even worse. I knew that unlike before, my voice was quite boisterous and that it was going to call attention to us, but I was beyond caring. "I've had enough of your, and come to think of it, everybody else's shit!"
"Well, too bad because..."
"No, you had your time to talk. Now is my time," I raged, cutting off her pathetic attempt to respond. "You and me... we aren't even close to being the same. I didn't fuck my boyfriend's best friend and keep it a secret for months. I didn't spend days acting all lovey-dovey with my boyfriend and then secretly text your lover who you were secretly longing for the entire time."
"Yeah, but your loving, caring boyfriend did," she quickly retaliated.
I took a deep breath as I knew it was true. Adam was just as much to blame for the infidelity as Amy, but I had forgiven him long ago for his actions. He was in love with a woman and didn't care who he hurt in the process of making her his. Yet all of the bullshit they had to go through caused both Adam and Amy to change and realize that they were no longer in love with each other. Adam had moved on, but it seemed like Amy had yet to. That was truly my sole objection to her anger.
Because she had no reason for it.
"I hid my relationship with Adam, but that was my mistake," I continued, ignoring her comment. "Adam didn't want to hide and I should have listened to him. So, that is the only comparison you can make. We were a secret. But we didn't hurt anyone... well, not the way you two did before."
She shook her head and was about to respond, but I wouldn't let her get the last word. I reached up and placed a finger over her lips. It was then that I could feel some peering eyes and the presence of others all around us. I briefly looked to my side and saw that some of the crew and a few of the talent were staring. Yet I didn't care any longer about secrecy. I just wanted this put behind me.
"People around here may talk shit about me and Adam and not understand what has happened, but they haven't forgotten the past," I asserted, not letting my finger slip from her lips. I needed to say exactly what was on my mind without any interruptions from her. "They remember everything that happened between you two as well. All the pain and hurt... and it is probably the main reason - actually, scratch that - it is the reason some people can't accept us."
I stopped when I heard more mumbles and shuffling around us. Amy took that time to hit my hand away from her face, her eyes blazing and trying the best to intimidate me. But I knew that I had gotten to her... that all I said was slightly cracking the foundation of her bravado. Most of the smugness was gone from her expression and it was replaced with unbridled fury, especially when her eyes left my own to look beyond.
"Why are you even here?" I vented, her eyes finding my own once more. "To see if I was being treated like you were when the shit hit the fan? Or maybe it is more than that. I think that it's probably because you're jealous of the fact that Adam and I can be in a relationship without the whispering and betrayal."
"You're fucking delusional," she countered, even though I could see in her eyes that I was right. She was crumbling and I was not about to let her foster the courage to gain the upper hand.
"No, you're jealous of the fact that Adam can openly love me without having to worry about some fucked up feeling of resentment," I vented, not realizing until it was too late the words that had spilled from my lips.
Our eyes widened and I had to fight to keep control. Talking about our relationship was all well and good, but I had actually just admitted out loud that Adam was in love with me. Even though people now knew of our relationship, they didn't realize how deep it truly was. I was known backstage as a noncommittal emotional damaged bitch and Adam's reputation wasn't that much better. It had improved greatly from 2005 and he was much more respected than he ever deemed possible after the things he had done (probably because more than half of the roster had committed similar offenses... just some had never been caught). Now, everything was seemingly out in the open... except how I truly felt about the blond myself.
"You..." Amy started, but she drifted off when her eyes shifted and focused on something behind me.
I went to turn and look, but was stalled when I felt an arm wrap around my waist, tugging my back flush against a hard chest. I looked down and a small smile found its way to my lips: "Rise Above" was emblazoned on the arm holding me in place. One deep breath and his cologne wafted through my senses and I felt more secure than I had in weeks.
"I've had enough of this shit," I said defiantly, returning my gaze to the livid hazel orbs of the raven haired ex-Diva in front of me. Even though I wasn't exactly sure about Adam's feelings of this little anger-fueled display, I felt even stronger having him at least physically by my side. "I'm done with this, Amy. So go find Matt and tell him that his little scheme to get between me and Adam failed."
Amy just shook her head, raising her eyes from mine to the man who held me in his arms. I didn't look at him, just let my head rest against his chest, listening to his soothing heartbeat. I was unsure of what I would find in his irises so felt it best to just stare at my antagonist for the time being. Amy and Adam were still close friends, and I really didn't want to come between their friendship, no matter what my feelings for her might have been.
Amy and I weren't friends any more. Once upon a time, I thought of her more like a sister than a friend. Now, we hardly ever spoke. So, after all that had occurred, I thought she would have realized the error of her ways and left. She shocked me when she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes pleading with the man behind me. Yet she never got a word out.
"Go home, Amy," Adam said, his voice even and unfeeling. "I don't know what you thought you were going to accomplish by coming here, but you failed."
"Adam, please don't tell me that after all we have been through..." Amy pleaded, but she drifted off. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I figured it must have had something to do with Adam behind me.
"You're still a great friend, but until you can accept that I have moved on, I think it is best if you just stay away," he responded, the tenor of his voice still not giving away any clue to his true temperament.
Amy just shook her head. If I wanted to respond, I couldn't as my hand was quickly grasped and I was led through a crowd of onlookers. I pushed past the grinning World Heavyweight Champion as well as the silently brooding Deadman. I continued to trail slightly behind my boyfriend, his hand still dragging me along. I didn't know what this could mean for our relationship. We had hardly spoken in the past week and the first time we see each other is when I am berating his ex-girlfriend for being jealous.
Adam pulled me into a room marked "Still Photo" and quickly shut the door. I looked around and saw that we were the only ones present in the small area. There was a still camera set up with a white backdrop in its line of view. The room was normally used after and during the pay-per-view to capture still photos of the new champions that were immediately uploaded to the website. Yet hours before the broadcast - as the current situation proved - the area was usually desolate.
Adam pulled me back toward him, his hands resting on the small of my back. He looked down at me with an unreadable expression on his face. After all the time we had spent together, he was sometimes hard to read. It seemed as if he was waiting for me to make the first move. Maybe he wanted me to apologize for what I had said to Amy. I wasn't sure, but knew that I had to do something. I opened my mouth to break the silence, but was halted by his lips descending upon mine.
With my lips already parted, Adam had an advantage as his tongue darted into the wet heat of my mouth. I moaned low in my throat as I was pulled flush to his chest, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. Even his grizzly man beard did not bother me at the moment, as I got fully caught up in everything that was Adam Copeland. So much for him being angry with me...
When the need for air became too great, Adam pulled back slightly, leaning down to press his forehead against mine. His eyes no longer seemed blank, but filled with contentment and love. Instincts were telling me to look away; to not fall into the deep green irises that were threatening to consume me. Yet I couldn't.
"I love you."
The murmured words shocked me in their tenderness. Unlike the first time he had uttered those words, I was definitely more prepared and open to the prospect. A few weeks ago, I froze and didn't know how to compute them. Now, I wasn't exactly sure how I was feeling, but knew that I had never felt so much for one person romantically in my life.
"I love you too."
Adam's eyes widened at my admission. Shock, surprise, and gratification all flashed through his irises. I nodded my head up at him, unsure if I could really trust my voice to repeat the words. His lips perked into a small grin before they sought out my own. His hands trailed up my shirt, kneading the bare flesh they found. I moaned into his mouth, entangling my fingers in his unkempt blond locks. Blindly, he pushed me back, almost knocking over the camera in the process. My back quickly was pushed against the cinderblock wall, the surface cool against my heated form.
My rational side was telling me that this was not the best course of action considering we were at an arena full of our colleagues. Hell, it was the night of Adam's return and the last thing he needed was to be caught with his pants down... literally. But my emotional side was through caring about anything that stood in our way. I wanted to be with Adam, and would show him anyway I could just how much it rang true.
Our lips parted briefly as we both fumbled with each other's cotton tees. They were quickly thrown nearby, our lips back to bruising each other's under the force of our kissing. I fumbled blindly with Adam's belt, but did not want to stop our dueling tongues to divest him of the article easily. A few moments later, it was unfastened and his jeans quickly pulled down. Adam reached down and pulled my leggings down to my knees.
We both shimmied the rest of the way out of our clothes. Boxer briefs and undergarments quickly joining the ever growing pile on the floor. Soon, it was flesh against flesh. He pulled back and hoisted me up, pushing my back taut against the cold wall. He gave me a look, as if asking my permission, but I was too far gone already. I figured that the lust in my eyes was enough of an answer.
Adam quickly thrust into me, my head falling down to rest on his shoulder, as I was unable to truly control my body at the moment. Everything just felt so right. It had been only been a few weeks and my body felt like it was wasting away by not being able to be with him. Thus, our coupling was fast yet loving. We yearned for each other and were getting lost in the feeling of just being able to be together.
It made me believe that maybe things were going to be okay.