Disclaimer: No, I do not own Private, I just love the characters.

They stood in silence while he brought up the words he wanted to say out loud for so long and he just let his heart to the talking. "I love Reed Brennan. I have since the first time I met her."

"Finally! The heavens have opened up and Josh Hollis has seen the light," Ivy laughed and Josh joined in the end.

He felt good. He felt like his life was getting back to normal. Finally. But it was Reed's life that was in danger and he had to make sure she would be okay in the end. He would do anything for her. No matter what.

Reed POV

Sawyer. Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut. It was like the feeling when I found Scott in the kitchen with blood oozing from a cut he got from a knife. It was like sibling instinct. Sawyer was like my brother, and something was terribly wrong with him.

I ran up the side stairwell, taking the stairs two at a time. When I finally reached the right floor I pushed open the heavy door and ran to the room I knew he was in. I didn't even bother knocking, knowing that he was expecting me to come.

When the door was opened I saw Sawyer sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. His shoulders were shaking and I saw a tear fall into his lap. My heart broke seeing him like this. I quietly crept forward letting the door close with a gentle click. When I was standing in front of his form his head lifted up and I saw he had glistening wet eyes with tear tracks flowing down his face.

"Sawyer," I whispered with emotion thick in my voice. I hated seeing him like this.

His response was to pull my body down to his in a tight hug. I shifted so I was sitting beside him on the bed but I kept my arms wrapped around him.

Minutes passed but I couldn't find the right words to ask what was wrong. Sawyer's salty tears soaked into my navy blue Easton sweatshirt and I pulled him closer; hoping that just by my presence, he could feel like I'd help him anyway I could.

After a while, Sawyer's tears stopped and his breathing returned to normal. His tight hold lessened on my body as he pulled back to peer into my eyes. He looked like hell. His hair was splayed all over like he ran his fingers through it repeatedly, his eyes were red and bloodshot, and I noticed dark circles surrounding his eyes.

I probably looked the same, admitting that I shed a couple tears while sitting with him, feeling his silent pain. He looked like he hadn't slept, just like me.

I finally found words, stupid words at the least, knowing that nothing I could say would make him feel better, "Whatever happened," I whispered. "You have to know that I'm here for you. I hiked across a snow mountain practically for you. I'm here for you."

Sawyer nodded keeping his eyes locked on mine. All I saw was pain, so much pain.

"Tell me what happened. Please, it's physically hurting me to see you like this," I said to him. I needed him to say anything. Anything! His silence was killing me.

"My-my friend called," Sawyer whispered, not meeting my eyes anymore. "Something happened. He was calling to tell me about it because we grew up together and wanted my family to know what had transpired. He wanted to tell….me…." he trailed off; his breathing becoming erratic once again. I wanted to ask but he turned back to me with anger evident in his face. He looked….scary. Something I never thought I would see from him. When he spoke I felt a chill run down my spine.

"His girlfriend tried to kill herself. He said she had been depressed after a close grandparent died. She just finally snapped. He found her and saved her in time. But, why?" Sawyer whispered. Death. Why was their always death? And why did it have to affect the best people? Why?

He pulled out of my loose hold and began pacing around his room. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides; aching to hit something. His voice grew louder with anger.

"Why is there always death in my life!?! Why does everyone I know have to feel so disgusted that they want to kill themselves?!?" he shouted with tears sliding out the corners of his eyes. His voice softened as he muttered the next sentence. "Why can't these people see that I need them?"

During his rant I felt the tears pouring down my face. I hated seeing him so torn up, so….broken. Sawyer's legs fell out from under him as he plopped down on the ground. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat as I dropped down by him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed so tight I thought I might strangle him.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." My words meaning nothing. I'd heard them a thousand times and knew they couldn't make him feel better.

And there we sat for hours; both of our tears pouring endlessly from our eyes and my weak statements trying to make it all better. But knowing that nothing I said would ever take away his pain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I didn't want to do this but my stomach was begging me to. I had to pull away from Sawyer and go get us both food. He needed to eat to try to make him feel better.

I promised I would be fast. Telling him over and over I would be right back and not to do anything stupid.

I looked like hell. I could feel the tears that hadn't dried on my cheeks freeze from the cold air. My long brown hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail with shorter bangs and layers falling out around my face.

I didn't bother looking at my phone knowing I had missed calls and texts from Noelle asking where the hell I was. It was the very middle of dinner so I knew the cafeteria was full. All I wanting was to slip in unnoticed but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I pulled the heavy door open and walked in with my head down. I sniffed trying to forget Sawyer's broken face tracked with tears.

When I reached the line I glanced at the table with all my friends. Noelle's worried eyes found mine and she looked like she was about to get up. I shook my head and hoped she knew I needed space. I was raw to the bone after being in that room with Sawyer.

Once I had enough food for both me and Sawyer, I tried to make my way to the door but I knew someone was following me. I kept walking, opened the door and stepped into the cold. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

No, I thought to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut. Just not right now, please.

The grip around my bicep dropped and two strong hands on my shoulders turned me around.

Josh. Of course. The words from his fight with Ivy echoed in my head. They broke up. Over, done, officially over with.

My wet eyes met his concerned ones and I finally processed what I saw and heard today.

Ivy cheated on him. He didn't even seem upset about it. Yeah, maybe his pride was bruised but….nothing. Did he really not love her? Care about her?

I thought how whenever I needed him since I got back from break, he was there. When I felt like I might collapse under the pressure he came by. He always came back to me. Always. Why? Does he still love me after everything?

What if he rejected me? Even after everything what if he picked someone else? He would be okay but I wouldn't.

Now wasn't a good time to think of this. Not after feeling all the emotions in me come up mere hours ago.

My eyes filled with more tears before I could stop them. What if he didn't want me?

Josh stood there, watching all the emotions flit across my face. The tears spilled over and I made no move to wipe them away.

I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to say 'not now'. Then I felt Josh's thumb wiping my tears off my face. My sticky eyes opened and locked on his. His touch felt so good. It spread comfort through my body and somehow said everything was going to be okay.

His hand molded to my cheek and he looked at me with pain in his eyes. After this long afternoon spending time being Sawyer's rock and shoulder to lean on, I felt drained.

I needed a rock, now. So I shut off my mind and let my body take over. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Josh's waist, pressing my cheek against his chest. I sighed, finally feeling complete when his arms went around my shoulders, holding my body to his.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

I nodded and wound my arms tighter, begging him to never let go. I needed this, I needed him.

A/N: So, what do you think? It's short, but cute I think.

What was your favorite part? Least Favorite?

I love your reviews, likes/dislikes, comments, advice, and I take them to heart. So if you want something to happen or think I should change anything major……..REVIEW!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Have a safe holiday and spend some quality time with your family :) I can't wait until my big family dinner on Saturday because I LOVE all the food. Yum……

Review, please! ~Nicole