He fell through the darkness; he felt heavy, weak, tired. He was helpless. There was no end; he would fall forever, alone. No one would save him, no one would help him. The air around him became thick; he could feel his lungs feeling with every breath, it was spreading into him, taking his life. He panicked; he tried to find something, anything to save him. He was choking, he had no air left, he would die, alone in the darkness.

Something grabbed his hand, held it tightly and pulled him. He felt himself being dragged out of a thick liquid, he coughed as his head was freed. He opened his eyes and saw a thick black sludge, he panicked again his coughing grew worse. He stood on his hand and knees gagging and coughing up the thick sludge from his lungs. When he was sure it was all out he laid back and stared up at the white ceiling, he was in a big open room it was all white except the black pool in the center.

The sound of soft footsteps was coming to his left; he turned his head to see who had saved him. His eye widened, his heart raced, he tried to jump to his feet but couldn't get the balance. Her hands reached him before he could fall back down, he looked back up and locked eyes with hers. His dark green met her deep purple. She smiled that smirk of a smile that was hers alone.

"Raven?" he asked softly afraid his voice would shatter this dream.

"Hi Beast Boy." Her voice held a soft vibration, an echo.

He couldn't help himself, he threw his arms around her and held her tightly, he didn't care if she was angry, he didn't care if it was just a dream, she was here. She returned his hug.

"Are you real?" he asked quietly still holding her tightly.

"Yes," she said, he let out a sigh and smiled, "and no." he pulled away and looked at her. He noticed for the first time that her uniform was not the blue it was supposed to be, it was white.

"I am a part of Raven, I am what she will eventually be. I am balance."

"But you aren't real?" he asked.

"Not yet. Right now Raven is healing, she has no control of her powers that is why it was necessary to bind her body."

"The black cocoon thing?" he said with a shutter remembering the one time he had caught a glimpse as Cyborg had entered her room.

"Yes, it keeps everyone safe from the excess energy needed to heal her completely."

"She wouldn't need to heal if Speedy hadn't tried to kill her in the first place." He growled.

"Oh Beast Boy." White Raven reached a hand out and touched his cheek softly. "That is why I am here. Raven is connected to all of you, you are her friends, her family. She feels what you feel, your pain, your sadness, your anger. You especially."

"Why me?" he asked quietly.

"Because you have so much pain and anger, you hold on to it as if it connected you to her. She is worried about you."

Beast Boy was surprised. Raven was trapped in a black ball of energy trying to keep herself alive and she was worried about him? He was angry, he was very angry. Didn't he have a right to be? Should she be?

"So she sent you out to talk to me?" he asked. She smiled.

"No, Raven has no control over me, I am her most basic and most advanced form, I heal first and last. I have come to you, and each of the others, as it has become necessary to help you. Starfire felt guilty about the happiness she was feeling with Aqualad, she thought she should still be sad for Raven's sake, I showed her it was alright to be happy. That even Raven can experience happiness within her own mind."

"What do you mean? Isn't she angry?"

"Raven?" asked White Raven genuinely confused.

"Yes!"

"Why would she be angry?"

"She's trapped in a black cocoon dying! Because Speedy was too damn selfish to just die!" shouted Beast Boy.

"She isn't dying, she is healing." She paused. "Do you think she would have been happy if he had died?"

"No, but she would be better than she is now!"

"How do you know what she is now?"

"Did you forget about the black cocoon of death?!" his voice held irritation.

"I know it better than you do." Her voice was calm with an edge of warning.

Beast Boy stepped back.

"Would it surprise you to know that Raven stopped Speedy's death? That she kept him alive and swallowed his death into herself to do so? That she knew she would die either way, whether he survived or not?"

"You said she's healing, that she isn't going to die." He said quickly with a hint of fear.

"She isn't," she said, he relaxed, "but she was supposed to." His eyes widened and his chest tightened.

"What do you mean?"

"When he called out to her she could feel death on him, taste it, when she joined herself to him, he was dead, he literally had only seconds left. She used her own life in exchange for time. Before she ever left her own body she knew it was the cost, but she went. She exchanged her life for his."

"It wasn't worth it." He growled.

"You hate him so much? Why Beast Boy, what has he done to you?"

"You said it yourself, he killed Raven. Or he tried to."

"No he didn't."

"Fine he didn't actually try to kill her but he pretty much did. He called out to her when he knew he was dying, he asked her to join him in death. As far as I'm concerned he killed her. She was just stronger than him." He said bitterly turning away from her.

"No he didn't. He called out to her when he was dying because he was scared, he called out to her because, like any other person, he didn't want to die alone. But he never called out to her to kill her. He didn't even understand the danger of her being in his mind until it was too late. She went to him knowing the cost, she had no doubt of her own death, and she went. She chose to die, no one killed her. But he saved her."

Beast Boy turned to face her.

"You heard me. He saved her. She was supposed to die; she gave her life to save his. That should have been the end for her. But when he understood what was happening, when he understood that she was dying for him he tried to make her leave, she refused. Then something happened and she lost her control, she was truly dying. He gave her something, he may not have even realized what he was giving her, but he gave it to her all the same. It saved her life." White Raven smiled.

"What did he give her?" Beast Boy asked, he found himself truly interested for the first time, in knowing what had happened in Speedy's mind.

White Raven looked at him, her expression was serious, and she seemed to almost study him.

"Do you really want to know? Are you ready to understand all that has happened?" her voice was serious. Beast Boy swallowed hard and nodded.

"What did he give her?" he asked quietly.

White Raven took a step towards him.

"In order for you to understand his gift, to understand what it meant to each of them, you must know all that happened. It's not as easy to hold a false grudge against someone when you understand the truth."

Beast Boy stood up straight and looked at her with a set face. He knew the truth already, Speedy was a selfish bastard who only cared about himself, and nothing would change his mind about that. He nodded to her.

"We are only observers, all that we see here, has already happened, we cannot change it, we cannot stop it, we can only watch." White Raven said as she took his hand and the white room around them began to change. The sky turned black as night with red glowing stars there was no moon in sight. The ground below them turned from white to a dark thick mud with red stones scattered about. They stood amongst many large ugly scarred and twisted trees without any leaves.

Beast Boy saw movement ahead of him, he recognized Speedy. Speedy stood up and looked around he seemed confused, then he seemed mesmerized by the trees, Speedy just sat there for a long time. Beast Boy was about to say something when he heard Raven's voice, he looked back at Speedy and saw above him in one of the trees a dark bird, the bird slowly turned into Raven.

"Hi Roy."