A Reason to Live Chapter 10: Epilogue: A Heart's First Steps, a yu yu hakusho fanfic

Hello my readers! I bet this is a surprise! I realise it's been about two and a half months now since I last updated and for that I'm sorry. Anyone who's followed me for any amount of time would know that whenever I lose inspiration on a story I just...stop writing. So I am very sorry. I spent the last two days sitting here rereading and typing away. So I sincerely hope it's worth it.

I've also posted a poll asking people which of my ideas (as I've suddenly been hounded by plot bunnies) they would like to read most, including the option of a sequel for A Reason to Live. So if you're interested check it out and vote.

It's amazing though. This story, without the lyrics or my ramblings, is 35,000 words long! For me that's just phenomenal! Anyway I realise this is probably very boring for you so onwards to the acknowledgments!

I'd like to thank Good Omens, Ichi-chan1, DarkDragonDreamer, JCRazors, Natsume-chan and a very special thanks to ILoveKuramaTooMuch! Sorry for my slacking. =(

...

Disclaimer: Yeah I fought hard these past months but my efforts amounted to nothing. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the lyrics listed here. All I own is the plot and Doctor Lee, the ever smiling surgeon. XD

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing, trace amounts of angst and Hiei/Yusuke love!

...

Epilogue: The Heart's First Steps

...

Evening was falling slowly over the city, the setting sun bathing the land in bright oranges and yellows and casting long shadows on the ground. Outside of the hospital the peaceful late afternoon was disturbed by the loud grumblings of one Kazuma Kuwabara. The tall red haired man was leaning against the pole of a parking sign griping loudly, drawing dark looks from people passing by.

"Damn it!" He yelled, his rough voice cutting through the air and shocking the hospital's clients as they walked to and from the large building. "He's late! Where the hell could he be?" His shorter companion, standing quietly nearby, sighed and shook his head at his friend's impatience.

"Give him time, Kuwabara." He said calmly, his voice sliding like silk into the ears of any nearby. "With any luck he'll have succeeded where we have failed." Kuwabara snorted, pushing himself forcefully from the metal pole.

"Finding that shorty is like trying to find a needle in a haystack!" He shouted, running a large hand through his gelled coppery locks in his frustration. Kurama sighed once more.

"True as that may be, we have to try to stay positive. Believing our friends will return shortly is better than the alternative…" The scarlet haired youko whispered, his face downcast. Kuwabara regretted his careless words the instant his grey eyes caught his friend's expression. The youth looked away awkwardly, unsure of what to say to comfort the distraught demon. As his gaze travelled across the landscape he caught sight of a familiar figure walking up the path towards them. A large, hopeful smile split his thin face.

"Hey! Hey, look! It's Urameshi!" He crowed. Kurama's head whipped in the direction the human was pointing, the sight causing his emerald eyes to light up.

"And he's got Hiei!" He cheered. His legs moved of their own accord, racing him towards his team mates, Kuwabara's footsteps pounding against the pavement just behind him. Their dark haired friend looked exhausted but smiled nonetheless as they came to a halt in front of him a hundred meters from the hospital premises.

"Hey guys." He greeted quietly, his chocolate eyes tired but happy. Kuwabara growled at him.

"You punk! You're over an hour late!" He yelled, though still thoroughly relieved at his best friend's appearance. The hanyou shushed him with a stern glare and a pointed glance at their unconscious companion. The look quickly disappeared, replaced by his usual cocky smirk.

"Don't tell me you were worried Kuwabara. Aw, I'm touched." Yusuke teased, giggling as he barely moved to dodge the taller man's punch, careful to avoid jostling the sleeping Hiei.

"Well…anything could have happened, okay? Doesn't hurt to be careful…" The human grumbled defensively. Kurama quickly stepped in before the two could start bickering.

"Is he…?" He asked, turning his worried green eyes onto the comatose fire demon held tight in Yusuke's arms. The spirit detective smiled, momentarily soothing the youko's concern.

"He fell asleep on the way back. He'll be fine once we get another blood transfer into him." He said dismissively. The soft smile Yusuke spared for the smallest member of the group went unnoticed as Kurama's eyes hardened, pinning Yusuke in a questioning glare.

"Blood transfer?" He asked, his lilting voice sharp. Yusuke nodded.

"Yeah. He ripped his stitches when he ran away and he's lost a fair bit of blood. So if you two don't mind…" He hinted, nodding in the direction of the hospital. The two red heads instantly stepped to the side, muttering their apologies.

"Thank you." The young man smiled in gratitude and started past.

A sense of déjà vu washed over him as just like always his team mates fell into step behind him, the same way they did when they would go to battle. Even though those times seemed like a lifetime ago, made distant by the traumatizing events of the past 24 hours, Yusuke felt comforted by the familiar actions. Steeling themselves for anything that the nightmare might yet have for them the four entered the hospital once more.

The trios' footsteps tapped loudly against the foyers tile floor, the automated doors sliding shut behind them with a whoosh. Yusuke's gaze traversed the large space, ignoring the shocked stares from the room's occupants. Well doesn't this ring some bells…he thought, remembering the similar scene from the night before. Finally his determined chocolate eyes landed on the frumpy woman behind the counter. The hanyou strode up to the front desk and cleared his throat, successfully gaining the middle aged woman's attention. The receptionist pulled a long-suffering face and removed her attention from the novel she had been reading. Her dull brown eyes rose to meet Yusuke's and she frowned.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She drawled in a croaky whine, eyeing the dark haired man over the rims of her thin rectangular glasses. Yusuke resisted the urge to rudely inform the woman that he wouldn't have bothered talking to her if he thought she couldn't and nodded in affirmation.

"Yes actually. I'm returning a patient of Doctor Lee's and it would make my life a lot easier if you could call him down here or give us directions to his office or whatever." The woman frowned in response to his words.

"Returning a patient…?" She asked, obviously confused. Yusuke 'subtly' shifted the bloody and unconscious male in his arms, drawing the receptionist's eyes down to land upon the precious treasure he held. Her dark brown eyes widened and she gasped in surprise. Clumsily she pulled the microphone on her desk over to her, calling desperately for Doctor Lee over the loudspeaker. Yusuke didn't even bother to spare the woman behind the desk another glance, he walked purposefully over to the seats in the middle of the room where other patients waited to be seen and sat down, carefully arranging Hiei comfortably in his lap. Too busy with the limp form of his boyfriend he didn't see his friend's approach but he heard them sit down in the chairs on either side of him. He paid them no attention and instead, without realizing what he was doing, he reached a hand up and ran it through the sleeping demon's raven locks. He watched, mesmerized, as the youkai relaxed further under his ministrations and snuggled into his shirt. The sight was positively adorable. A small chuckle escaped Yusuke's throat and rumbled through his chest. He didn't even notice the confused grey and amused emerald gazes of his friends as they watched silently.

The moment was quickly lost however as the loud screeching of sneakers on polished floor met their ears. Yusuke tore his chocolate orbs from the beauty in his arms and looked up to see the kind faced Doctor Lee rushing into the room.

"Wait here for a minute." The hanyou told the two red heads beside him before getting to his feet and intercepting the doctor as the brunette walked towards the grumpy receptionist. He came up beside the older man, the doctor's ice blue eyes widening as they landed on the disheveled youth.

"Hey man." Yusuke greeted with a small smile. Doctor Lee didn't reply. He stared down at the too pale man in Yusuke's strong tan arms with a hard, calculating expression on his face.

"What happened?" He asked finally, returning his gaze to Yusuke.

"When he…when he ran away he ripped his stitches and he's lost a quite a bit of blood." The detective explained, repeating the same words he had spoken to his distraught friend's no more than ten minutes ago. Doctor Lee nodded, calming somewhat.

"May I?" He queried, gesturing to Hiei's blood soaked tank. It took a second for what the other male truly meant to sink into Yusuke's overstressed brain.

"Huh? Oh, of course!" He said shaking his head at his own stupidity. Ever so gently he moved so the small body he held in his arms out so it was away from his own. The brunette spared the hanyou a teasing smile as he noticed Hiei's fist still bunched in Yusuke's white t-shirt. Yusuke blushed but his embarrassment quickly faded. He watched with unmatched focus as the doctor lifted up the drenched piece of clothing and examined the fire demon's wound, his long thin fingers prodding the stained skin around the injury gently. After a minute he straightened, pulling back he smiled into the semi-worried hanyou.

"What you said is correct. The stitches were pulled, more than likely by strenuous physical activity, causing the reopening of the wound. The good news is that the wound is clean and the bleeding has almost completely stopped. We may be able to get away with simply re-sewing the wound but I believe it would be for the best to get Hiei another transfusion rather than risk his health anymore." The doctor said. Yusuke felt the small knot of doubt and fear that had been sitting in his stomach up until that moment finally melt away with the heartwarming news. Hiei, his Hiei, was going to be alright! Truthfully, he'd already known that the small demon would be okay (after all what was a little blood loss to the great Jaganshi?) but it hadn't stopped the concern that had wormed its way into his heart. I guess it comes with the territory, the young man thought wryly.

"-bring a stretcher and prepare room 218 with some B positive and bring a needle and some sutures too…Thanks." Doctor Lee's voice invaded his thoughts and he looked up from the unconscious form of his boyfriend just in time to see the surgeon snap a phone shut. He shot the older man a questioning look.

"I was just preparing things for Hiei's treatment." The brunette explained.

"Thanks…for everything." Yusuke said, allowing his sincerity to shine through his brown eyes. Doctor Lee smiled gently.

"You don't need to thank me Yusuke. I'm just glad everything worked out in the end."

"More than you know…" Yusuke whispered to himself, staring down at the hiyoukai in his arms.

A loud rattling echoed through to the waiting room from one of the many hallways and the doctor turned to the young hanyou once more.

"That sounds like our patient's ride now. We'll be taking Hiei back up to his room for the small procedure so you and your friends are more than welcome to come up and keep vigil by his bedside until the end of visiting hours." Yusuke looked up from the limp form of his team mate with an indignant expression rapidly spreading across his face. "Except for you of course. You can stay overnight again if you so wish it." The tall brunette cut in quickly with a chuckle. Relief took precedence within the youth once more and he nodded with a small crooked smile.

Two men wearing the hospital's uniform green scrubs rattled up to the pair, a stretcher between them. Yusuke hesitantly placed Hiei on the stretcher and watched with a twinge of sadness as the youkai was wheeled away. It seemed strange but he already missed the smaller man's weight in his arms and his hands itched to run after the interns and snatch his love off the hard mattress and back into his embrace. His mind was pulled back to his self as Doctor Lee's heavy hand landed upon his own muscular shoulder, giving it a firm, comforting squeeze. His chocolate eyes met pride-filled ice blue before the doctor whisked off down the hall after the wounded demon.

With a sigh Yusuke turned on his heel and walked back over to where his friends sat waiting amidst the people in the crowded waiting room. As the two red heads noticed him approach they rose from their seats, staring at him expectantly. He spared the pair a weary smile and ran a hand through his already mussed up raven locks.

"Hiei'll be fine. They're taking him up to his room to fix him up and we can go up whenever we're ready."

Kurama beamed at the excellent news and Kuwabara whooped loudly, once again earning him dark looks from many of the humans in the room.

Yusuke couldn't help but laugh as the last of his tension dissolved. The nightmare was finally over…Everything was going to be okay.

Waking up was never something Hiei enjoyed. He hated the few moments of disorientation between when consciousness first draped its cold, ghostly arms around your mind and when you actually woke up. Those few minutes where you held no memory and no feeling of self. Where there was naught but dreams and warmth that slowly slipped further and further from your desperately reaching grasp.

So it was natural that when the youkai first once more felt the comforting darkness of unconsciousness recede from him he urgently clung to the last tendrils that lingered. But as they always did, they slipped through the fingers of his soul and he slowly awoke, becoming aware of his surroundings. A low murmuring that had until then been nothing more than an annoying drone sluggishly morphed into unfamiliar voices. The raven haired man's brow furrowed ever so slightly and a frown pulled at his lips as the voices became understandable words.

"-ake, please take these to go get washed. Greg, would you return these unneeded sutures to their appropriate home? Thank you." The first voice spoke quietly, calmly. The male's request was followed by the loud clack of footsteps on man-made floor and a second voice that joined the first.

"No problem Doctor Lee. Need anything else?" The other, obviously younger male asked with a strange drawl.

Doctor? Hiei's mind searched frantically for an explanation.

"No I'm fine now." The older male, obviously 'Doctor Lee' said. "I know you have plans for tonight so you two go and have fun. I'll see you tomorrow." There were murmured "thank you's" followed by more footsteps and the click of a closing door.

Doctor? The somewhat addled fire demon racked his brain desperately. Why do I feel so heavy? Am I tied down? Have I been taken prisoner during some emergency mission gone wrong? Hiei squashed the slight anxiety that began to stir at the thought and forced himself to focus. If I've been captured then what of Yusuke and the othe- Suddenly it all came rushing back, like a dam being opened after a heavy downpour. His own attempted suicide, Yusuke's timely rescue, the fight, the confession, the kiss-

"HELL!" The curse burst from the previously silent demon's lips loudly and Hiei shot up, his crimson eyes wide. The raven haired man didn't notice the doctor seated beside the bed nor the way he jumped as his supposedly sleeping patient sat up as suddenly as if he had been a bullet being shot from a gun.

Hiei's almond shaped eyes were unfocused as his fingertips gently brushed his lips bringing forth an unbidden whisper.

"Yusuke…" The smallest of smiles spread across the youkai's generally apathetic face as the memory of the hanyou's words poured into his ears like warm honey. 'I love you too.'

"Hiei? Are you alright?" The query came from his left and brought the love struck man from his reverie. Hiei stiffened, bracing himself for a fight and turned his sharp-as-daggers glare onto the brunette beside the bed. His battle-sharpened mind took in the tall, haggard male from his double-knotted sneakers, blue scrubs and white lab coat to his short chestnut hair and concerned expression. The man, whom he assumed was the Doctor Lee he'd heard before, didn't seem to be a threat. He held no weapon, his posture was non-menacing if a little nervous and his overall appearance just seemed weary. Finally, satisfied that the surgeon was not going to try anything the shorter man allowed his ruby gaze to wander. His eyes traversed the small white room with its grey linoleum floor and generally empty spaces without missing a thing. A pot plant in the corner, an unoccupied chair with tearing padding near the end of the bed, a tall thin cupboard on the right side between the bed and the wall…

This is the same room as before, Hiei thought. A slight cough returned his attention to the man still seated by the bedside.

"Hiei, are you alright?" He asked, his blue eyes full of worry. The demon in question frowned, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"How do you know my name?" He growled, tension flooding his system once more. The doctor held up his hands, trying to calm the injured young man.

"Your friend Yusuke told me." The simple mention of the hanyou's name had an immediate effect on the dark haired man, allowing calm to wash over him and warmth to spread through his body. Hiei almost blushed at how easily just the mere mention of his love's name in passing conversation riled him up. Mentally he shook himself. Just as he was going to ask of his boyfriend's whereabouts the doctor continued.

"Your friends are downstairs as far as I know. I just finished re-sewing your wound before you awoke so I imagine they should be coming along very shortly." Hiei pulled aside the unflattering hospital gown to see a small series of clear stitches where before there had been a gaping hole in his abdomen.

A chuckle escaped the brunette as he watched the other man inspect his handiwork. It was strange seeing someone who appeared to be so young examining a serious wound with such an expert eye. He saw the door opening from the corner of his eye and turned expectantly to greet the room's most recent occupant.

Yusuke's heart pounded as the smooth metal of the door handle cooled his calloused palm. He didn't know why but his heart was in his throat choking him with every beat. It was stupid, he knew, to be so anxious about what awaited him on the other side of the plain, moss green door. But…He and Hiei hadn't really had much of a chance to talk after their confessions of love and he couldn't help the twinge of fear. Fear that maybe the fiery little youkai would change his mind, that he would run away from him again. He could feel his two red headed friends' questioning gazes on his back and knew he couldn't stall any longer. The dark haired youth swallowed nervously, forcing his heart back into his chest. Steeling himself he turned the knob and quietly stepped into the all too familiar room. His amber brown eyes scanned the small depressing room until they landed on the raven haired demon on the bed. Instantly all his worries melted away as ruby red rose to meet his own chocolate. He needn't have ever feared. In those beautiful eyes he saw a spark of recognition that morphed into happiness and love. In those eyes that he loved more than anything else he saw himself…And more than that he saw a future. Oh he knew that it would be a difficult path and the two would likely clash a number of times but in the end it would be worth it. Hiei was worth it. And looking at Hiei now…he could see the other man felt the same way.

"Hello again Yusuke, Kazuma, Shuichi." Doctor Lee greeted, rising from his place next to his very awake patient. There was a chorus of "hey's" as the ragtag group piled into the room.

"As you can see Hiei's all stitched up again and we've given him some blood to help him onto the road of recovery. Assuming there are no more accidents he should be fine to leave by the end of the week." The brunette said with a fond glare at the two dark haired males. Yusuke had the decency to look mildly abashed at the half-hearted reprimand.

"Hn." Hiei replied with a rather snobbish glare.

"Well I'll leave you boys to catch up. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on you, Hiei." With one last nod the doctor took his leave, the door clicking shut behind him.

The silence that filled the room in the doctor's absence was an awkward one. No one knew where to start, what to say, although it was painfully clear that there was much to be said.

The seconds crawled into minutes yet still quiet dominated the team of friends. It was a shock to everyone when it was Hiei's quiet deep voice that pierced the silence.

"…I'm sorry." He mumbled, staring intently at the blankets covering his lap. "I…I didn't mean to…hurt everyone…" The words came out slow and jarring. Yusuke felt his heart go out to the small demon. He doubted sharing his feelings and apologizing was something he did often and it was obviously hard for him. The hanyou strode over and sat down on the bed next to Hiei. Hiei's ruby eyes rose to peer at him in both trepidation and hope.

Those eyes will be the death of me, Yusuke thought, smiling down at the man he loved. His arm reached out and crushed the smaller male to his chest. At first he felt Hiei tense up but just as suddenly the spikey haired man melted into the embrace. Yusuke's heart swelled in his chest when his boyfriend's arms hesitantly wrapped around him in return. The two stayed like that for a moment, oblivious to the confused and triumphant looks of their friends. Finally Yusuke pulled in a shuddering breath.

"I forgive you, Hiei." He whispered. Small but strong hands gripped him tighter in response. "…But…you have to promise me something…" Hiei shifted in his hold, pulling back to stare up at him with an inquisitive crimson gaze.

"What's that?" He asked, his head cocking to the side ever so slightly. The dark haired youth smiled once more.

"You have to promise me…that you will never ever scare me like that again!" He said with a heavy sigh that dissolved into a deep chuckle. "Cause seriously, I don't think my poor heart could take it!" To his surprise Hiei burst into laughter. Not just a scoff or a snigger but full blown laughter. It was like music to the half-demon's ears, rich and melodious.

"I promise." Hiei swore, a true smile settling on his lips. Yusuke felt his own smile grow even wider.

"Good." And nothing more needed to be said. Sure there was a lot of pain and baggage to sort through but it could wait. He leant down and captured the other man's said lips with his own, pouring all his gratitude and his love into that single action.

Hiei almost gasped as the intense emotions in the kiss threatened to overwhelm him. It still shocked him that someone like Yusuke could actually want someone like him but he no longer questioned it. He drew his hands up to clutch at short, un-gelled raven locks as he kissed back with all his might. In the background he could hear Kurama's amused snort and Kuwabara's confused rambling. And for once he didn't give a shit.

Hiei gave a contented sigh as pulled on his black boot, completing his change into his usual ensemble of black pants and a black tank top. He'd never cared much for clothing before; it was little more than a necessity. Now after several days spent in a flimsy and frankly unflattering hospital gown he found himself appreciating the comfort and support the garments offered him. The hospital room door clicked open and Yusuke walked in, smiling as he spotted the fire demon on the bed.

"Hey, you ready to get the fuck outta here?" The hanyou asked with a knowing smirk. Hiei snorted.

"I was ready to leave a long time ago if I remember correctly." He grumbled with a pointed look at the detective. The accused rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Yeah, okay I deserved that. But it was for the best." Hiei ignored his boyfriend and rose from his seat. He strode passed the other man without so much as a glance and continued down to the exit. He couldn't suppress the sadistic smirk that made itself home on his lips as Yusuke's whining apologies cut through the otherwise quiet drone of the hospital.

"C'mon Hiei! You know I didn't mean anything by it!" The youth called after him, gaining him numerous glares from patrons and staff alike. Hiei continued to ignore him until he finally stepped through the large automatic doors and out of the infernal medical center. Outside their two red haired friends stood waiting for them. The pair smiled warmly at the hiyoukai as he joined them. The youko held something long and thin out to him.

"My sword?" Hiei said, a questioning lilt in his voice. He reached out a calloused hand took the hilt into his grasp. It was a strange feeling holding the blade in his hand once more. Emerald eyes caught his own ruby in a knowing gaze.

"It would have been confiscated so I took it home and kept it safe for you. Regardless of how you use it, it's yours and it's a part of you." He explained. Hiei nodded his gratitude and turned to sneer at the spirit detective who was only just exiting the building behind them.

"What took you so long?" He asked, barely holding back a snicker. The taller man threw back his head with an annoyed snort.

"I got caught by Doctor Lee one last time. I swear that guy never stops." He complained loudly, taking his place by Hiei's side. Kuwabara laughed at his friend's misfortune, earning him a dark look from the hanyou.

"I assume you will be taking Hiei home now then?" Kurama asked, his silken voice cutting the two best friends bickering short. Yusuke nodded.

"Yeah, though it was hard work getting Hiei to agree to it, I'll tell ya!" He chuckled as Hiei took a swipe at him and pulled the little demon into a hug.

"If you want I can give you a lift. Mother's been lending me her car since the start of this whole ordeal." The red head offered with a flourish in the direction of the car park.

"Thanks, but we're good." Yusuke said. Hiei turned to look at him inquisitively but was distracted as he was literally swept off his feet by a pair of strong, tan arms. The fiery youkai let out an indignant squawk.

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled in his boyfriend's ear, causing the other man to wince.

"I'm taking you home." He said as if it were obvious. "And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk all that way in your condition?" Hiei was thrown off. He blushed as he remembered the last time Yusuke has said those words to him after their confession in the park.

"Fine. But don't get used to this." He grumbled, unable to keep the smile that threatened to spread across his face from lifting the corners of his mouth just so. Yusuke chuckled.

"Wouldn't dream of it, love. Wouldn't dream of it." With a curt nod and a wink at their friends Yusuke turned on his heel and started them off towards home. He knew they had a long road ahead of them. But he also knew they could do it…together…

...

End.

...

'Got a baby girl sleeping in my bedroom
And her mama laughing in my arms
There's the sound of rain on the rooftop
And the game's about to start,

I don't really know how I got here
But I'm sure glad that I did
And it's crazy to think that one little thing
Could've changed all of it.

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm such, such a lucky man!

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this!

Like the girl that I loved in high school
Who said she could do better
Or that college I wanted to go to
'Til I got that letter.

All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All lead me here to you.

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense.

How I cried when my mama passed away
But now I've got an angel looking out for me today
So nothing's a mistake

It led me here to this!'

This by Darius Rucker.

...

It's FINALLY DONE! HA! After months and months, I have finally finished my longest and possibly my most angst-riddled story ever! I'm proud of myself. =)

I really hope everyone enjoyed the story, and please review, tell me what you thought, what could have used improving. I always appreciate feedback...Well except for flames against the pairing and stuff like that. =P

I've really enjoyed coming on this journey with the lot of you and I hope to hear from you's again in some of my future stories. Thanks all!

Oh, and in case you didn't read the top part of my ramble: I've posted a poll asking everyone which plot bunny they'd like to read most for my next story. There's also the option of two different sequels for this story. No guarantees that I'll write the winner first but I'd just like to get everyone's opinion on the matter. So if you're interested check it out on my profile page!