Chapter nine: Roommates
When the tekken crew arrived on the beach and saw the producer, everyone but Jun, Setsuna, and Ling had to be restrained by the oversized gorillas.
"You bastard! Nobody makes me the host of a lame ass show!" Kazuya raged.
The producer, wearing a long black habbit of a priest, grinned wickedly. "Still a dumbshit," he observed. "I just did."
"I hate you, you're a horrible grandfather." Asuka spat.
"How dare you endanger my life by making me eligible to marry Ling!" Jin screamed.
"The animals, won't someone think of the animals?" Julia cried, causing everyone to stop their yelling and look at her with disgust and confusion.
"And Julia." Jin added.
"Alright, old man, you'd better tell me why I'm here or I'll gut you." Nina promised with vehemence.
"And why are you dressed like a priest?" Lei questioned.
"And you call yourself a cop." Heihachi muttered. "First off, I didn't choose any of you, the creator of the show did." I don't give a damn about your pathetic love lives."
"What soon to be dead dumb-fuck created this shit?" Bryan asked.
"I'm not at liability to disclose that information," Heihachi answered smoothly. "And as to the genius' question, I'm going to perform the wedding ceremonies."
Anna smiled as everyone began complaining again. "I don't see why everyone's so worked up; the moment we get 'married' we can all just file for a divorce." Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.
"Wipe that smug smile from your face, you tavern house slut, you all have to stay married to your significant other for at least a year."
"Says who?" Michelle snapped.
"Says me, the keeper of all your little secrets." Heihachi shot back. "Now if we're all done with this little boo-hoo session, Jun and my idiot son can begin to tell you more about the game."
"Get this repulsive ape off me." Kazuya ordered.
Heihachi scratched his head, made some disturbing monkey noises and the gorillas released them, running back into the jungle
"Alright," Baek said. "Let's try to forget that. Please tell us more about this disreputable game, Jun."
"Well, with each week there is a competition, date and wedding. Each competition is different from the last and your partner of the opposite sex is picked by a drawing. The reward is that the winning couple gets a special reward while the losers have to do a penalty chore."
"What kind of penalty chore?" King asked.
"You'll see." Kazuya said evilly. "And just because you won the game, doesn't give you immunity to the wedding at the end of the week. After all, this is America's choice." Kazuya laughed.
"Where do we live?" Christie asked nervously.
"You will room with someone of the same sex in a much too comfortable apartment." Kazuya said in disappointed tones.
"This keeps getting worse and worse." Lee moaned.
"But," Jun added, "Once a couple is married, they are moved to the Newly Weds Sweet on the other end of the island."
"Do we get to choose our roommates?" Setsuna asked, hopeful.
"No," Kazuya scoffed. "I'll be picking your roommates." Everyone groaned.
"Kazuya," Jun reprimanded. "You shouldn't crush people's hopes."
"It's what I do best." He said, shrugging. "You will pick your partners by climbing up coconut trees. You will grab one coconut and bring it back here. You may begin now."
The sixteen contestants scrambled up the sixteen coconut trees, praying for a good partner. Bryan grabbed his coconut and "accidentally" dropped it on Julia's head.
"Oww!" she wailed.
"hehehe." He laughed.
Anna stole Nina's coconut, while Kazuya smirked at the baboons. They assembled near Jun and Kazuya, feeling very stupid.
"Now smash your coconuts."
This was an order they followed willingly.
"Hey dumb bitch, this is your head," Nina sang evilly. "Poor dear, not very much in there."
Anna seethed as Ling chuckled.
"Shut up, you dumb pig!" She snarled.
"Why are there colored balls in the coconuts?" Julia asked.
"I'm glad you asked that question." Jun said hurriedly. "You see, there are two balls of each color. Please stand to the person with the same color ball as you."
They did so in the order of: King and Bryan; Michelle and Anna; Baek and Lei; Asuka and Setsuna; Lee and Steve; Nina and Christie; Hwoarang and Jin; and Ling and Julia.
"Are you going to share those red vines?" Bryan asked.
"Maybe," King answered protectively.
"We roomed together in the second tournament; it is nice to become reacquainted with you." Baek said.
"Yeah," Lei answered. Aw, crap, he's such a neat freak. He'll yell at me for not recapping the toothpaste! Lei thought.
I hope he remembers to put the cap on the toothpaste back on, Baek prayed.
"It could have been worse." Anna said.
"Agreed." Michelle sighed.
"This is kind of weird; we're paired with our brothers' sibling." Asuka commented. Setsuna nodded.
"Fuck no; I'm not sharing a room with Kazama!" Hwoarang yelled.
"Why not, rooming with you will be a tremendous joy for me." Jin said sarcastically.
"Oh, shut up!" Lee snapped. "You think you have problems? I have to room with Steve; he'll so cramp my style!"
"Hey, that hurt." The British boxer cried.
"Men are idiots!" Christie exclaimed.
"If you keep on that mindset, we won't have problems." Nina told her roommate.
"This is cruel and unusual punishment." Julia whimpered.
"I wanted to room with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law Asuka, not this hippie!" Ling complained.
"People, we don't give a damn, now get to your rooms and shut the fuck up!" Kazuya ordered. They glared at him, but slowly began to leave.
"What about clothes?" Christie asked.
"You'll get them when you need them." Kazuya replied with a smirk.
"Sweet dreams everyone, we'll see you at ten in the morning when we'll announce your first competition." Jun informed them sunnily. No one was eager to hear the news.
Heihachi grinned as his pawns walked away. They were idiots, all of them. He had arranged it that way to irritate his annoying family, except Asuka. Her purpose was to form a strong friendship with Setsuna Sanada and then he'd arrange it so that she'd marry Jin. That way her company would become a Mishima Company and his to control. I owe that McPlainface girl two sticks of gum for screwing up so perfectly.
"Ooo Ah ooo?" his gorilla sentinel asked.
"Yes, when I get what I want, you'll get what you want. Muahahahaha," They laughed, as dark clouds appeared with cackling thunder.
E/N: My sister apologizes for taking so long to update, but she was busy. WE NEED YOUR HELP! You can choose the games and she'll go in order from whoever suggests first.