"Alright, the way I see it is this: There are seven bedrooms in the house including that one room that can be made into a bedroom, which I have to admit is a cool room. Let's draw a diagram here." Sasori quickly sketched. "So, we'll call this bedroom one, two….and so on and we'll label this one master since it is the master bedroom. Let's hypothetically put me and Lola in bedroom one, Kakuzu in bedroom two, Hidan, bedroom three, Kisame in four, Zetsu in five, and Tobi in six . This leaves the master bedroom for Itachi, Deidara, Dana, and Marisol."
"Man, that was so not hypothetical! You had that completely figured out! You knew from the start you were going to put all them in there together….dude you're good. They would have to build a wall petition to separate that room." Kisame said.
"I say hypothetical because we just can't get that house. You heard what Kakzuzu said it would cost to live there!" Sasori said.
"Riiiiiight, but….think about this Sasori. First, our organization is loaded but more importantly I want you to think about it: Waking up in the morning with Lola and reading your newspaper in peace…" Zetsu knew this would push Sasori over the edge.
"So you're saying…no screaming, no fighting, none of Itachi's drama, none of Deidara talking and never shutting up, no more 'he used the last of my shampoo for blondes, yeah' or ' Deidara give me that shirt back'. No more of Deidara bothering me with stupid questions when all I want to do is read or watch TV? No more waking up at 2:30 in the morning to the sound of Dana moaning underneath Itachi!? Oh my god……that……hell that's worth 2.5 million dollars! Oh hell, we need that house!!" It was just enough to convince Sasori.
"We're getting the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hidan yelled.
"YARD!!!!!!!!!!!" chimed Tobi.
"Oh god, I can finally have a small flower garden!" Kisame said dreamily.
"I'll get our finances in order!" Kakuzu volunteered.
"At last! A sun room is perfect for me to get lots of light!" Zetsu said.
"Okay, first off, I'd like to state that I am still pissed over the fact that Itachi and Deidara were right. Secondly, a lot of shit has to happen today…mainly closing the deal on the house." Sasori said.
"Wait, wait, wait….let me negotiate. We will not pay 2.5 million for that house. The realtor talks like the owners really want to sell. I'll do all the talking." Lola insisted.
"Oh god I'm going to be sick when this actually happens." Sasori said. Sasori flipped out the RAZR again and called the Sandals Resort again. "Itachi, Deidara I just want to let you know that you got your way. We're going today to finalize the deal on the giant house you two picked out. I hope you're happy, I'm already starting to sweat over this whole ordeal. I'll talk to you later." Sasori hung up the phone. "Alright, let's get moving. I want to get this over with before I change my mind." And so It was time to head back to the giant house so Lola could make an offer. Kakuzu had 'the leader's' Akatsuki checkbook close at hand.
"Nice Miss Chavez, very nice. Thank you. It thrills me to photograph a real woman for once. I'll see you tomorrow." Marisol said goodbye to the photographer, of course every other model hated her right now because she was the only model there that the photographer talked to and complimented. She went over to where Itachi, Deidara and Dana had been waiting on her throughout the morning.
"Marisol! Come out here, yeah!" Dana yelled at her. The 3 of them were currently in the ocean waiting for her. Marisol quickly joined them.
"Oh my god! That was like so much fun! The photographer is really nice!" Marisol said putting her arms around Deidara.
"So, Marisol, those other models…are every single one of them complete bitches?" Itachi asked as the four of them drifted over the waves.
"Basically, yes. They are all really jealous of one another and they all hate me. They keep saying I don't deserve to be here." She said.
"Honey, you don't listen to anything those girls say to you, yeah. You're more perfect than any of them. Deidara said holding her scantly clad body against him.
"So do you get any of your pictures before they publish, yeah? Dana asked with shining eyes.
"Yes! I get the unused shots mailed to me!" Marisol was so happy. Of course in the midst of this joyous occasion, no one saw the larger wave coming at all of them. And no one expected that it would break right on top of them.
"You know, this afternoon we should go to that….oh shit…AAAGGGGHHHHHH!" Itachi was the only one who could get half of a sentence out. The wave had successfully walloped all four of them.
"Oh my god! I can't see! I can't see! Oh god, yeah! I'm blind! I'm….oh wait….that's just my hair in my face, yeah." Deidara said now completely covered in sand, blonde hair a absolute mess with seaweed and grit now entangled in it.
"Shit! Dumb ass wave! I had JUST applied that new Frederic Fekkai hair gloss this morning too! God! Salt is so abrasive to my hair…oh and Marisol don't come out of the water, the top of your bikini is wrapped around my foot." Itachi warned.
"Oh wow! Then that means I'm naked right now because the bottom of bikini is down around my ankles." Marisol said calmly.
"I think I just ate sand, yeah." Dana said spitting sand and salt out of her mouth, of course she was having bikini woes of her own, since it was a really hard wave. The top of her bikini was loaded with sand, however she could fix this problem.
"Great, the tongues in my hands just licked the sand, yeah. That means…actually I don't know what that means, but it happened, yeah!" Deidara gasped. "Marisol! You're top is gone, yeah!" Marisol had her arms wrapped around herself moving towards Itachi who was currently washing the sand out of Marisol's top. He handed it to her.
"Okay, Deidara once you're done rinsing all that crap out of your hair, you're going to have to dress me." Marisol said.
"I'll be right there honey, you just keep floating around in the waves because I'm having some problems, yeah. There are shells in my hair, yeah."
"So anyway, like I was saying before the fucking wave from HELL we should all go to that ocean side place for lunch and their 4 dollar cosmopolitans today." Itachi said trying to detangle his hair.
"Baby, that is a great idea, yeah! We'll go back to the hotel and shower and get ready and check out Cancun the rest of the day, yeah." Dana said.
"Oh! Yeah that's a great idea Dana!" Marisol said still topless in the ocean, although she had pulled her bottom part back up to her hips.
"Here Lola, forget all the negotiations just unbutton a couple buttons on your blouse." Sasori said unbuttoning Lola's first two buttons. She laughed at him. "No, let's go for three." Sasori unbuttoned another. "You know what screw it, just show him your bra we'll get the house for 10 dollars." Sasori said unbuttoning Lola's shirt the rest of the way. She kept laughing.
"Sasori! I can handle this." She said buttoning her shirt up again. "Oh and you know what, this house is located 20 minutes closer to the office where I got the job." She said.
"Great! Another positive about the house!" Sasori said stressing out.
"Kakuzu, can I have the checkbook?" Lola asked.
"Sure thing Lola, here you go." He handed the checkbook over and now it was time to sit down with the realtor. Everyone else kept a low profile, but Lola sat directly across from the realtor.
"First off, thank you for taking time to show us the house. We really appreciate it. Secondly, we'd like to make you an offer.
"That's great!" the realtor said. Lola shuffled some things around and pulled out the checkbook. She tore a check out of it. Sasori started sweating a lot.
"As you can see, I have here a blank….Winnie the Pooh design check. I am prepared to write it in the amount of 989 thousand dollars." Lola's speech was done and she clicked her pen, preparing to write. Zetsu started fanning Sasori off.
"I don't know if I'm sweating so much because this is the most nervous I've ever been in my life or because Lola is so incredibly sexy when she does stuff like this." Sasori said choking on his words.
"Breathe man, breathe!" Zetsu said. The realtor looked at her ready pen and the Winnie the Pooh check.
"Seriously, why does the leader have Winnie the Pooh checks?" Hidan asked.
"I don't know, he used to have 101 Dalmatians checks." The realtor smiled.
"You are obviously a woman who does her homework. The owners of the house are willing to accept this offer therefore I will also accept your offer." Lola smiled. Sasori had just passed out.
"Dude! Wake up!" Zetsu said slapping Sasori.
"Perfect, who do I make this check out to?" The realtor told Lola the name of the agency.
"I need whoever is going to be signing the deed to sign some paperwork. I will also need you to co-sign." The realtor said.
"Alright, Sasor….oh! Honey, honey! Come on now, don't pass out now! You need to sign some papers." Lola had Sasori in her arms now. "Sasori….Sasori wake up honey." Saosri was starting to stir.
"What…what happened. Where's grandma Chiyo? Lola? Hey, did you show the realtor your bra?" Sasori said groggily.
"Sasori, honey, I need for you to come to your senses and sign some papers. We just bought the house. Now don't pass out on me again." It was a good thing Lola had a comforting touch and auburn hair that smelled good.
"Okay….papers….yeah….sign papers…." Sasori said still trying to come back.
"We'll be just a moment, he hasn't taken this whole thing very well." Lola said to the realtor. It seemed that it was official…Akatsuki had a house, but not just any house THE house. But there was still unfinished business in Cancun…..