I don't own these characters. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I only borrow them. No humans are permanently harmed through my actions, though I do confess to harassing, annoying, torturing, and exasperating them – just because it's fun. I make no money from my little stories, sad day. I only play in the sandbox, I didn't build it.

Author's Notes: I've dated as a single mom, and I'd like to say that the number of kids makes a difference. Believe me. LOL! And not just to potential dates, but to their families. They all like to have their say. :p Also, I've found that as we get older (I'm in my mid-40s), we tend to get more patient. So a man of Edward's age in this story (39) is much more likely to be able to keep his pants on in the hopes that something with more depth will develop. He's not going to react to this situation like a 20-something. Or even a guy in his early 30s. When you start staring the big 4-0 in the eyeballs, something happens. You start thinking "Hell! Half my life is probably over. So what do I want to do with the next part of it?" I'm trying to keep him as in character as possible for a man of his age and experience, given his family history of a long and successful marriage for his parents. I hope that makes sense.

As always, thank you for your interest and support. It means more than you can know!

Chapter 10: Pizza and Awkwardness

On Sunday night I called Bella to wish her a good night's sleep.

I rubbed one out in the shower later, fantasizing about having her in there with me. Having her there being the operative phrase.

On Monday I called her in the afternoon and asked her how her day was going. She sounded tired, so I cut the conversation short.

Later that night, I committed a lewd act of self-love.

Tuesday I was going to play it cool and not call. I was strong. I was a man.

I was also very, very wrong.

A thirty minute conversation and another dirty session of self-abuse and naughty fantasies and I fell asleep.

On Wednesday, I surrendered to the inevitable early on and called Bella on my lunch hour. "Hey stranger," she teased.

"Hello, pretty lady." Playful Bella was fun; I just didn't get to see that side of her very often. "Listen, my favorite pizza joint has a…uh…well, it's like a family special on Wednesdays and since I haven't been back there since I got home, I was hoping that you and the boys would…uh…come with me…?"

I was really nervous. This would be our first foray out into the world with the boys since we had admitted to having feelings for each other. We hadn't even established exactly what those feelings were, but I knew I wanted to spend time with her. I even wanted to spend time with the boys, which was scary as hell.

Bella was silent for a long moment. Maybe she had changed her mind. Shit. Then she laughed and my body began reacting in predictable ways. "Oh my God! You have to be talking about Pete's!"

"How'd you know?" Man, I really hoped she wasn't a mind reader, because I had a lot of dirty thoughts.

"Well, it's only like the best pizza in the universe!" She sounded excited and that had to be good, right?

"Are we going to Pete's, Mom?" I heard Jake asking in the background. Okay, so Jake knew all about Pete's Pizza. No surprise there. Kids knew pizza.

Bella asked softly, "So…are we going to Pete's?"

"I guess we are," I answered, unable to help the big grin on my face.

"Yes, we're going to Pete's," I heard her say. Then there was a loud whoop of joy and I heard Jake yelling, "Hey Em! Guess what, we're going to Pete's tonight!"

"I take it that Pete's was a good choice?" I couldn't help but ask, though I was grinning like an idiot. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Score one for Edward. I'd get this shit figured out in short order.

"You have no idea," Bella said dryly. "But be prepared, for the last year Emmett has been able to eat a whole pizza by himself."

"I'm not afraid of him," I mocked.

"Oh, you will be," Bella retorted.

"Bring it on." I was getting cocky and I knew it.

"All right then, you asked for it."

"I'll pick you all up at six then?"

"We might want to take my vehicle," Bella explained. "I've got more room than you do."

"Uh…"

"What?"

"Well, I hate it when other people drive," I confessed.

She laughed. "Is this a male thing or an Edward thing?"

"Strictly an Edward thing," I assured her.

"Okay then, since you're putting up with my little quirks, I guess I can let you drive my SUV."

"Sounds great." And it did, God help me, it really did. Pizza and beer and soda and four noisy boys and a restaurant full of kids and their parents. It suddenly sounded like the perfect way to spend the evening.

What had I turned into?

~TBTA~

Dinner with Bella and her boys proved…interesting. For one, I'd never been to Pete's on a family night with an actual family in tow. Usually, if I had a hankering for Pete's on a Wednesday, I'd order it to go. There was no fucking way I had wanted to sit surrounded by a bunch of whiny kids and their shell-shocked parents.

Now, there I was, sitting by Bella and the four boys who were quickly and unobtrusively working their way into my lives. From the outside, I knew that we looked no different than the other families surrounding us. Jake was the comedian and kept us entertained with his sly observations of those around us. Truly, the kid had a knack for both mimicry and cutting humor. Emmett was mostly silent, but his eyes kept darting between his Mom and me. His lips were pressed together most of the night until Jake gave him a not-so-subtle kick under the table and Emmett attempted to be more sociable after that.

Attempted being the important word. The kid would never make a poke player. His unhappiness with my presence radiated from every pore. Emmett was proving to be the most challenging member of the family to get to know. Strangely, that didn't bother me. I had seen his type before. I had trained men who must have been like him at that age. He had been given a heavy burden at a young age and was doing the best he could. Emmett James had a lot of potential. From family photos, I could see that Emmett had been a boisterous boy, usually laughing and enjoying himself. I hoped he could find that person again. I knew if anyone could help him do so, it would be Bella. Still, the kid didn't like me and that was something I was going to have to deal with if I ever wanted to proceed in a relationship with his mother.

That was an intimidating thought.

Seth, as always, fulfilled the role of diplomat and ambassador. He made a conscious effort to include me in their conversations, explaining any inside jokes that I might not understand. Bella let him take the lead there, though I could see she was anxious to include me as well. There were hidden depths to Seth and I looked forward to learning about him. I finally understood that, in some ways, Seth stood apart from his brothers. Emmett was the oldest, Jake was the baby, and Sam was the 'smart' one. Seth's gifts were more subtle but he didn't seem to mind being slightly out of step from his siblings. He looked after his mother in his own gentle way, was closest to Emmett though they were quite different, and watched over Jake and managed to do so without being bossy. I noticed as Seth moved Sam's drink from the edge of the table and as he warned Jake that the pizza was hot.

Then there was Sam. Every time I interacted with Sam I became more and more impressed not only with his intellect, which was formidable, but with his sense of responsibility. I suspected that this sense had not been conceived on his father's death, but had always been there. Sam was an old soul and could carry on surprisingly mature conversations without seeming arrogant or conceited or obnoxious.

But I found my thoughts always drifting back to Bella. Seeing her there, amidst the noise and the chaos that was Pete's on a Wednesday night, I was only further enchanted. It did not escape my notice that of all the women in Pete's that night, Bella was by far the most beautiful. Last week I had seen a picture of her mother with the boys taken last summer and I could see that Bella had aged like her mother, gently and with great grace. She was beautiful yes, but I had a feeling that even as an old woman, her sweetness and generosity would still make her lovely.

Bella had a tender spirit, bolstered by a core of steel and strength. Her strength was obvious when I looked at this woman who had faced the nightmare of her husband's death and still found the will to give her boys a good life. She existed for them, but did not place the burden for making her happy on them. It was a rare and difficult balance to strike. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her right there in the middle of the restaurant and tell her how beautiful she was, how much in awe of her I was, and how very much I was looking forward to possibly building a relationship with her.

Unfortunately, at the moment we had four chaperones and all of them were watching us closely. Their eyes missed nothing, keeping track of how close my leg was to their mother's and how many times our hands brushed. We had to escalate our relationship slowly, for their sakes as much as Bella's. It would do me no good to win Bella's affections if I alienated her sons in the process.

Clearly, their mother going out to dinner with a man was something new for them. That they had been invited along had not allayed their suspicions at all. They knew something was up. Looking around the table, I could read their reactions to that realization. Jake was fine with it. He liked me, for whatever reason, and probably didn't see any reason not to have me around. One for Team Edward. Seth was curious, but about what I couldn't tell. He wasn't committed to "my" side, but he wasn't against me either. He wanted whatever Bella wanted. Since Bella wanted me around for now, I counted him as being on Team Edward too. I'm an optimist, what can I say?

I had to repress a sigh when I studied Sam and Emmett. Sam was…resigned. He had probably figured that, at some point, his mother would date. He wasn't happy about it, but he had decided to accept it. Sort of. He wasn't sure he could trust me yet, and that was okay. He was going to reserve judgment until he could get a better handle on me and my intentions. I had all the time in the world to show him that I wasn't going to hurt his mother so I figured that eventually I would get him to like me. As long as I didn't fuck things up, which I had no intention of doing.

Emmett, however, was a different case altogether. He was openly hostile toward my suspected intentions for his mother. He was older, he had a much better idea of what men and women did together. Obviously, his hormones were raging at this point and he had a better comprehension of the sort of hungers a man had. He had just enough knowledge to realize that my interest in Bella was not purely platonic. However, he didn't have the experience to know that women also had needs and that his mother had been very lonely for too long. Bella was a beautiful woman who was in the prime of her life. It was only natural that men noticed her, that men wanted her. And that Bella would have desires of her own.

Emmett's problem with me was two-fold. First, he was angry at me for thinking of his mom like that and second, he was angry because he probably felt that the only man who had the right to share that with his mother was his father. I would have to proceed very carefully, not only for Bella's sake, but for his. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also wanted to be as honest as possible.

I vowed then and there to be as forthcoming as I could if he raised the question. Honesty was the best policy. He would understand.

Which proves, beyond all reasonable doubt, that I am a fucking idiot.

~TBTA~

I called Bella on Thursday. I could hear the boys yelling in the background. I had noticed that they yelled a lot. Bella didn't seem to notice at all. I supposed it was one of those things that a parent got used to. I had never realized that kids were so…noisy. Hearing the boys clump down the stairs brought to mind a herd of elephants. They didn't usually have any volume control, and they shouted rather than go looking for whoever they were calling for.

Finally, after ten minutes, she gave up and retreated into her closet. It was a walk-in and one of the reasons she had purchased the house, she told me. I hadn't seen it of course as I had never been inside of Bella's bedroom, which was a damned shame as far as I was concerned. In fact, I had never been upstairs. Nevertheless, Bella's bedroom had featured in more than one dirty fantasy.

Talking to Bella was surprisingly easy. Usually, it was the talking part that left me flummoxed. Kissing, fondling, sex…these were things I understood. It had been a long time since I had simply talked to a woman that I was also interested in getting into bed. And over the dining room table. And in the shower. And in the pool.

Later, I watched the Travel Channel (mostly because I was too lazy to reach all the way over for the remote) and started fantasizing about all the cities I'd like to take her to. I also pictured all of the places I could find to make love to her in those foreign cities.

I make a mental note to never watch "Dirty Jobs" again, for fear of what sort of fantasies I might have.

On Friday I called Bella again. The house was shockingly silent and Bella told me that the boys were playing at a friend's house. For some reason I imagined them playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians like Masen and I had done as kids. When I shared that with Bella she snorted with laughter.

"More like Star Wars Unleashed," she informed me. "It's all about video games now, Edward."

"I've got a lot to learn," I admitted with complete honesty. I laughed then, wondering if anyone I knew could give me a quick tutorial in kids. I had Jasper… and my brother. But there was no way in hell I was going to call and ask my brother's advice. He'd never let me live it down. If my mom had been talking to him - and I knew she had – then he'd give me the third degree. I was done with interrogations for a while. I had sort of expected a call before now and was just glad I had dodged that particular bullet.

Friday night, I had a sex dream about Bella and it was a really good one. In my dream she was kneeling at my feet, her plump lips wrapped around my cock. Her tongue was doing things that made my knees tremble and when I came with a shout, she swallowed me with a groan and a sexy little smirk. "Oh, Bella…baby…that…so hot…good…" Even in my dreams I was an incoherent mess.

My dream got even better when I picked her up and put her on the bed. She spread her thighs and I got a look at her wet, pink sex. I kissed her thighs, even gave them a playful nip. Then her fingers were tugging at my hair, putting my mouth where she wanted it to be. I lapped at her juices, licked up and down her slit, and then I slid two fingers inside of her while I sucked at her clit. "More," she ordered.

She came with a shout of her own, a shout that woke me up and left me disoriented and gasping for air. I grimaced when I realized that not only had I had a sex dream about Bella, I had had a wet dream. My own sticky mess coated my belly and thighs. I couldn't remember the last time that had happened to me.

What was I? Fourteen?

I grimaced as I got up to wipe off the mess. Ah hell, only a shower would do. As I stood there under the hot spray I pondered the situation in which I now found myself.

I was desperate to get into Bella's bed. No doubt about that. Twenty years ago I wouldn't have had the patience necessary to appreciate a woman like Bella. Hell, even ten years ago I would have definitely blown it by pushing too hard, too fast. It wasn't romantic, but since I wouldn't have been interested in anything else, sex would have been the lynchpin of the "relationship."

Now here I was, aching and ready for her pretty much 24/7. And I was waiting, trying so very hard to hold onto what little control I had left. Age had given me a patience and perspective I wouldn't have had earlier in my life. Maybe that was one of the reasons I hadn't met someone like Bella before.

No, that wasn't right. Maybe that was why I hadn't met Bella. I hadn't been ready for her before now.

Because I knew one thing for sure – there was no one else out there like Bella.

~TBTA~

On Saturday morning as I drove Emmett to our next work site, I was a little off balance from my extremely vivid dream. It was also a little disconcerting to face Emmett knowing I had been dreaming about his mother's lips around my cock. Talk about awkward.

Later, I wasn't sure if it was my own guilt that made Emmett suspicious or if he had been working up to the confrontation for a while now. Maybe it was a combination of the two factors, but in the end it didn't matter. We were doing some painting at a tiny little church. Most of the parishioners were older and unable to do much work around the church. Mr. Hoyt had clued me in when I told him I was looking for someplace else for Emmett and I to put in our hours.

Emmett was even more taciturn than usual, giving me grunts instead of his customary one word answers. I decided that I was going to try really hard to connect with Emmett, to make him see that I was basically a decent guy. Well, except for my dirty fantasies about his mother.

"So, Emmett, you have a girlfriend?"

He shrugged. Okay, so the whole 'breaking the ice' thing wasn't going so well. But I'd never let a little hard work stop me.

"How do you like living near Ft. Bragg?" I was bound and determined to get this kid talking.

Another shrug. I felt like I Emmett was a prisoner of war and I was doing my best to break him. I didn't like the feeling.

"Are you looking forward to high school?" I asked, feeling a little desperate.

He just rolled his eyes. I was starting to understand why teenagers had a bad reputation. Kids of Jake's age were much friendlier. I wondered if surliness was a result of all the hormones surging in his ever-changing body. I wondered if there was a cure.

"Hey, your mom told me that your grandparents are coming to visit in August. I'll bet you're looking forward to that."

And that, I figured out later, was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had mentioned his mother, even if it was just in passing. He heaved an irritated sigh and tossed his paintbrush on the drop cloth. Then he turned and stared at me with eyes that far too old for his tender years. I flinched at the anger there, but my heart ached for the pain I saw in them.

"Look… Just because you're fucking my mother doesn't mean I have to actually talk to you," he said in a flat voice.