Our Boyz

"What lies behind us and what lied ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."-Anonymous

Lexie carried her bag down the hallway as if she were a wounded puppy looking for some place to lay her head. She thought that she and Jeff would ultimately fail because of past experience. She thought back to the troubles that she had when she had written that back in the OMEGA days. She almost started to cry as she knocked on the door that had a big D-Generation X sign on the front of it. Paul opened the door and let her in.

"Shawn went to talk to Vince, so he's not around right now," Paul said as he closed the door behind her.

"Oh that's fine. I'm kinda mad at daddy right now anyways."
"Why is that?"
"Do you not notice me carrying my bag around?"
"Yeah I noticed but I don't know why."
"Well pops, as Jeff likes to call him, decided to ground my ass."
"You're a grown woman, why would he ground you?"
"I had an attitude with him because I was thinking back to what had happened to me a few years ago and I was having problems with Jeff and his jealousy."

"What happened to you a few years ago," he asked concerned.

"I was just in a really bad place and there is one poem in my poetry book that made me think back to it. Jeff was reading it earlier."
"Do you want to talk to me about it? I know that for a while you really didn't have anybody to talk to and you've probably been building up all of those emotions inside."
"Paul, if this is one of your tricks to pull a prank on me, it's just not going to happen."
"Lexie, I really do want to know."

"You aren't just playing me are you," Lexie asked still not believing him.

"I'm not, would you just believe me. Yeah I may play pranks on everybody but I do care about how people feel. Maybe this way I won't do certain things to you that could hurt your feelings. Usually the pranks I do just piss people off and it's only supposed to be a joking matter."

"So you really want to know what's going on?"
"Yeah, I really want to know what's going on."
"Alright, lock the door then." Paul got up and locked the door. He sat down on the bench across from Lexie as she opened her bottle of water and took a deep breath in. She tried to process all that was going on inside her mind.

"Well, back when I was in OMEGA I was going through a lot of hard times. After my mom died, it was really hard to make since of life. Once I had almost shook off most of the depression of my mom dying, my father died 2 years later. I decided to leave behind my two best friends and try to seek something to manage the pain that I was feeling outside. I decided to start wrestling in order to use my anger for something better. It was a few years after I started wrestling that I got really depressed. The one thing that I had gotten me through the deaths of my parents was now the thing that caused me the most pain. I would look at everybody in the locker rooms and see how friendly everybody was to each other and then there was me, the one person out of everybody who would just sit in the corner and write her poetry. I thought that there was nothing left to my soul and that there was nothing and nobody to live for anymore. I started to live my life in a dangerous way. I started cutting myself to ease the pain and tried to commit suicide many times. It just felt like if I would do that then maybe somebody would actually notice who I am and that I actually existed. But when nobody did, I realized that it just wasn't worth it anymore. I realized that no matter how many people loved me on screen, nobody really cared who I was. I just worked my ass off to become the most successful person that I could be to try and find comfort in whatever success would bring. When I arrived here, I thought that everything would be the same as it was back then but everybody here seems to really care. I have come into a new family here and I found Casey and that is just such a huge part of my life. I realize that I don't need to cut myself in order to have some sense of myself and that I have something to live for and that is myself. It's just when I read the poem to myself, it seemed to bring back all of the old feelings that I had. On top of it, Jeff was being jealous and we aren't even dating. And then I flipped out on Shawn, he grounded me and here I am talking to you."
"I'm glad that you talked to me about it. Does it feel better to have everything out in the open now?"
"Yeah, it kind of does. I don't think that I need advice on what happened, I think that I needed somebody to talk to about it. I mean, if I would have told Shawn I think that he would be sitting here trying to make everything right and I just don't need that and I think that he would think less of me."
"I don't think that Shawn would think less of you but I'm glad that you decided to talk to me about this."
"Please just promise me that you won't tell anybody. I really don't want anybody to know this kind of stuff about me."
"Yeah it won't be a problem. My lips are sealed."
"Thanks Paul."
"You're welcome Lexie."
She went over to him as he stood up to give him a hug. When they released she smiled and went to unlock the door.

"Do you think it would be alright with dad if I went out and met some people?"
"I think that would be fine with him. I'll just tell him that you need to not be so caught up in your other friendships that you don't want to seem like a bitch to everybody else."
"Thanks Paul for everything. I really appreciate it."
"Stop saying thank you and go and do something. I'm tired of you now."
"Love the excitement in your voice man. It seems like your back to the same Paul I thought you were."
"Just remember, there is more than one side to every man and woman in life."
"Alright I will. I'll see you later."
"Bye Lex," he said as Lexie went to walk out the door.

"Please don't pull any pranks on me today. I already have too much shit going on in my mind."
"Today is a free pass for you."
"Thanks."

She left to go and see if she could meet any new people. As she walked down the hallway she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her nerves started to take control over her body and there was nothing she could do about it.

Instead of going into random locker rooms, Lexie started off to the catering room to see if there was anybody there. There was a group of maybe 4 or 5 girls sitting at one of the tables. Lexie made her way over and asked if she could sit down.

"Hey girls, my name is Lexie. I'm new around here and I just wanted to get to know everybody."
"Oh, my name is Torrie. I saw you last night on Raw, you were great."
"Thanks, I really appreciate it."
"You're welcome. Too bad Adam had to mess all of your glory up."
"Well it's just part of the job that I have to get used to, especially being in the storyline that I'm in."
"I remember when I had to take the abuse from the guys before I even started wrestling. I was just a girlfriend, I didn't do anything and they always seemed to make get hurt by some guy."
"That sucks but I just hope that it won't happen for long. I mean, I don't want to be getting nailed in the back with chair by a guy who's specialty is chairs. It's just not right. It would be like any diva getting nailed by a ladder from Jeff."
"I totally understand you on that one."
The introductions continued as Lexie met Maria, Victoria, Mickey James, and Lillian Garcia, the ring announcer. She finally felt like she was excepted by the other girls and that really made a big difference in her life. When everybody decided to part ways, she knew that she had found at least one friend omungst the group of gorgeous women.

She smiled to herself as she headed for the gym to meet some other people. There she was introduced to Randy Orton, Carlito and Charlie Haas and they all seemed to be really nice guys. The only one that she didn't like was Randy. He was a cocky son of a bitch and he tried to moves on Lexie, trying to kiss her neck and hold her in his arms. She backed away from him politely and decided that she had met enough people for the day.

As Lexie returned back to Shawn's locker room she stopped to see Casey.

"Hey Casey, are you here," she asked to almost empty locker room. "I really need to talk to you." Lexie stood in the locker room with her arms crossed for a little while and Casey came walking out of the bathroom.

"Hey honey, what do you need to talk about?"
"I just need to talk to you. It's not really something bad but I need to tell you. Can we go somewhere more private."
"Yeah sure, how about to the arena. We can go up to the stands and just sit up there and talk."
"That would be great."

Lexie and Casey held hands as they walked down the ramp and passed by the ring where Jeff, Shannon, Matt and Shane were practicing. Neither of them said a word as the hoped over the baracades and up the stairs.

"What's wrong with them," Shannon asked Jeff as he threw him into the ropes.

"I don't know man," Jeff stated as he flung back and Shannon got him in a head lock.

"Have you noticed that Casey's been acting weird lately," Shannon said tightening his grip.

"I think she's just excited about Lexie being here," Jeff stated as he broke the hold and took his legs out from underneath him.

"I think she doesn't want to date me anymore," Shannon said getting up and locking up with Jeff.

Jeff kicked him in his stomach and took his legs out from underneath him. "I'm sure that there's nothing wrong," he continued as he spread Shannon's legs and leg dropped his stomach. "You should just talk to her."
"It's really hard though," he said as he lied on the ground.

"Come on buddy," Jeff said as he went over and reached his hand out for Shannon to get up. "Just give it time. If that doesn't work then talk to her about it."
"Jeff, I feel like such an idiot. We've been dating for 4 months and I already think that I love her."
"Shannon, you've never said that about any girl before."
"I know and that's what scares me," he stated as he looked at the girls sitting high up in the seats.

"I wonder what they were talking about," Lexie said as they took a deep breathe.

"Probably about me," Casey said sadly.

"Why, what's going on?"
"I'm supposed to be listening to your problems, not the other way around," Casey stated trying to get off the subject of why they really went up there.

"Come on Casey, what's going on?"
"I don't know," she said as she put her head in between her hands. "I think that I love to guys," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Who," Lexie said as she put her arm around her.
"I know that I love Shannon but lately it's been one of those things where I think I may love Matt too."
"Casey, are you sure that you just don't like Matt? That maybe it's just a like type of thing and that you love Shannon and would never hurt him."
"I really don't want to hurt Shannon but it's really hard because I have no idea what's going on inside my mind."
"It's not always about what's going on inside of your mind. It's more about what's going on inside your heart."
"Thanks Lex, that was sweet of you to say. I think that I'm just going to stick it out with Shannon and try to forget about Matt."
"That's a good decision," Lexie said with a smile on her face as Casey lifted her head.

"So what's wrong with you?"
"It's just when I went to meet people today, I got hit on by Randy and he was such a jerk about it and it pisses me off."
"That's just who Randy is. You've got to stay away from him."
"Thanks for that earlier."
"What's going on with you and Jeff?"
"Umm, we want to be with each other but we aren't sure how to go about it yet. Shawn grounding me didn't really help either."
"Shawn grounded you," she said surprised.

"Yeah because I yelled at him. He really is like the dad that I miss so much."
"It's good that you have him now. You need a father figure."
"Now all I have to do is find a mother figure and it will be alright."
"Well we can worry about that later. Come on, we should go talk to our boys."
"Alright." They stood up, gave each other a hug and headed back towards the ring to meet up with everyone else.