I don't own these characters.

10: Cracking

Without mirrors in the house, Regina could only guess that she looked worse than ever. She woke up in the middle of the night thanks to a coughing fit and by the time she had fallen asleep again, the sun was rising. When she woke up again, she found strands of her hair remained on the pillow when she picked up her head. Part of her did not care, but of course, another part of her worried about what she would eventually look like when she died.

She did not wonder what she looked like now. From the parts of her that she could see, she assumed her face was worse. Her rash had evolved to the point where parts of her flesh was falling off. Her once beautiful skin looked like cold pizza with parts of it plucked off.

The skin that did not have the rash seemed to be an odd tint of yellow. She wondered what internal organ was failing for her skin to have turned yellow. The yellow areas were soft, like melting butter. Certainly if she pressed against something too hard, it would go right through her.

Her teeth hurt all the time now and last night one fell out while she vomited. The tooth was brown, almost black, with cracks in it. She might ask Emma what she looked like… if she had the courage. She was shocked that Emma kept coming by, putting up with her appearance.

Her joints ached, as well. Walking, holding anything, and even sitting down caused her pain. Still, she pushed herself out of bed and moved to get ready for Emma's arrival. She looked forward to seeing the sheriff, even if all they did was sit with each other, but she had plans. She wanted to prepare a surprise for Emma since it was unlikely that they would be cooking or sewing again, as Regina could barely hold onto anything with her aching joints. If she managed to hold onto something, she would have a seizure a couple of minutes later.

Instead of cooking, sewing, showing Emma how to properly do laundry, or stressing the importance of having a routine with their son, she decided that her final weeks would be spent doing something else with Emma that was equally important. Emma knew Henry's favorite foods and the basics in taking care of him, but now she needed to learn about his other favorite things, both present and past. She needed to know and somewhat see how to handle Henry.

Besides, Regina needed to this before it became impossible for her to carry anything or move. After gathering a couple of boxes, she was sweating a puddle and her lungs felt like they had liquefied. If she tried to pick up as much as a pen after, surely her arms would break off and she would have to wait for Emma to pick them up.

"Wouldn't that be a sight?" Regina shook her head. "Knowing Emma, she'd just pick the arms up and remark how 'it's a good thing you showed me how to sew.'" The thought brought a smile to her face and she discovered it hurt her face to smile.

She sat down and waited. Usually, patience was not her strong suit and she thought that being near death would have made it worse, but it was the opposite. She looked forward to Emma and would wait until the end of time for her to show up. She could admit that to herself because she was probably going to die in three to six weeks. She was not sure how Emma had endeared herself, but it probably had to do with the fact that Emma spoke to her like a person, not an object or an idiot or even a monster. She hoped Emma was like that with Henry. He would appreciate that.

She tried to imagine the type of person Henry would be because of Emma. She hoped he held onto some things from her, but surely he would take after Emma more. Emma was the great Savior and his hero, so it was natural he would pick up things from her. This actually did not bother Regina as it would have in the past. With luck, he would just take the good parts of her. But, she imagined he would be louder, but not like Emma. He was already stubborn, but he got that from her and possibly from genetics.

"Hey, Regina," Emma called as she marched into the house, using the backdoor.

Regina chuckled. Henry would definitely get louder under Emma's wings. Perhaps he would know how to make it endearing, as Emma did. Of course, perhaps, she just found it endearing because it was Emma. It certainly had not started out that way.

"I'm in the living room," Regina answered. Her voice was now low and probably would be for the rest of her short life.

She doubted Emma heard her, but she smiled anyway when the Sheriff stepped into the room. Emma smiled at her, too. It was a somewhat sad smile, as if it troubled Emma that soon she would be gone. She would be missed. Maybe it would be enough, even if Henry did not want to make peace with her.

"I brought by some food. You need to eat something," Emma insisted as she sat down and pulled out food from a Granny's bag. There was a container of soup and sandwiches. Emma would probably eat the sandwiches.

Regina felt her stomach flip and her nausea returned. Food had been her enemy since the start of this curse. She could not eat anything, even soup. There were times when she could barely drink water because her throat would be closed too tightly.

"You're getting too thin, Regina. Just try to eat a little bread dipped in soup," Emma requested.

"All right," Regina agreed. "For you."

She did not mean to add that, but it got a goofy grin out of Emma. She felt a smile pull at her face, but she tried to fight off. She was not sure if she was successful, but she suspected she was not because Emma continued smiling.

"I'll go get some bread or maybe some crackers. That might be easier because you can nibble them. You'll like the soup," Emma stated and walked off.

Regina was surprised to find she missed Emma for the few moments that she was gone. I've turned into a fool under this curse. Perhaps part of the curse involves losing one's mind since you also lose your dignity. She tried to eat some of the soup, but managed only a few soggy crackers because her stomach seized and rejected anything more. The cramping was so tight and powerful that she fell over.

Emma caught her and held her, rubbing her back, trying to soothe her. Has anyone ever held me like this? No. Gritting her teeth, Regina wrapped her arms around Emma and tried to bear through the pain.

"It's all right. You can let go," Emma whispered, running her free hand through Regina's hair. "You're so strong, Regina. So strong."

"No," Regina whispered. "I'm weak, so very weak."

"No, you're strong."

"No…" Regina insisted, even though her voice was no longer as powerful as it used to be. She could not be strong. Rumpelstiltskin had killed her and she was slowly dying in the arms of her enemy. Her mother was spinning in her grave, undoubtedly, but Regina did not care. She wanted to be weak, she wanted these arms around her, lying to her how it was going to be all right and how she was strong. She just wanted to be comforted.

"Yes, you are. You're still standing after everything that happened. Even that dick, Rumplestiltskin can't put you down, even when he tries. Yes, he can humiliate you, curse you, and even turn you into a monster, but you're still standing. There's even still a part of you that's so good, you can be a damn good mother and raise a pretty amazing kid. You are strong, so strong that you might even beat this thing, but you can't give in," Emma stated. "You can't run. I run. You stand and fight."

Regina nodded. She did stand and fight. But, what good did that get her? She still lost. She always lost. She lost Daniel. She lost her virtue. She lost her self-esteem. She lost her humanity. She lost her son. She lost her way, her heart, and her sanity. Now, she would finally lose her life.

"So, what's all of this stuff you pulled out?" Emma inquired, nodding over to the stack of books on the coffee table.

Regina gritted her teeth to push against the pain in order to answer and get the day she planned. "Photo albums."

"Photo albums?" Emma echoed as if she had no idea what such a thing was.

"Yes, starting from the beginning. When I first got Henry, I thought everything he did was amazing, so I documented everything that I possibly could. I suppose I was still in a bit of awe over the technology here as well," Regina admitted. Everything about this world fascinated her after she figured out the Dark Curse was not all it was cracked up to be and it grew tedious living in an endless loop.

Emma's brow furrowed. "Wait, all of this stuff here is you and Henry?" She waved over the album with one hand.

"Mostly Henry. I had to take the pictures, after all. I wasn't in much of a habit of sharing him, even with people under a curse, who I knew wouldn't harm him. I just loved him so much, but I know now that I can't hoard a person. He ran off because I didn't share him." She understood his reasoning, even if she did not understand why he did not want to be around her as often as she wanted to be around him. She would not have wanted him to share her, or so she thought anyway. Maybe I would want him to, if I had given Emma a chance. We could've shared each other.

Emma nodded. "I guess."

The sheriff's words brought Regina out of her own head. "So, share him, Emma. Share him."

"I will," Emma vowed.

"I took these out because I want you to know about his life, events and experiences, things he liked, things he didn't. I want you to be able to have some idea what he's talking about when he starts talking about some time in his life before you showed up. I'm sure I will fade from his mind, he'll forget I was there and think it was you."

Emma pressed her just a little closer. "No, Regina. I won't let him forget you. I'll tell him. I will."

Regina managed a smile. "I'm sure you will. Now, open the top album and we'll go through it." Emma did as ordered.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma flipped through the albums with Regina's low voice explaining what was going on in the images until Regina's voice trailed off. Regina fell asleep with her head in Emma's lap. Emma thought it was cute until she really looked at Regina.

Regina's skin was yellow and drawn. Around her eyes, there were dark circles that would have put a raccoon to shame. She could see patches where Regina's hair had fallen out and welts in Regina's hair, almost as if she had ringworm. Everything about Regina looked like it hurt. She stood by the idea that Regina was strong. If she were not strong, she would have folded under this curse a week ago, maybe sooner.

A whimper from Regina caught Emma's attention and she very gently rubbed Regina's back. She wished they had gotten along in the beginning. She learned that she could like Regina, even with the knowledge of how horrible the smaller woman could be. Maybe she could like her now because she saw her in a new light. Regina had more layers than an onion, but when they were all peeled away, she was almost decent. The thought put a smile on Emma's face.

"I think we could've been friends, Regina. If we gave each other a chance, we could've liked each other. Yeah, we would've gotten on each other's nerves, but that's what friends do," Emma commented, brushing Regina's cheek with her knuckle. Her heart clenched when bits of Regina's skin fell off from her touch.

She hated that she felt so much for this poor creature in her lap. Regina had done so much, but also had so much done to her. Emma knew firsthand how that could affect someone's life. She understood Regina.

"I get you, you know?" Emma whispered.

"I know," Regina replied in a breath. When had she woken up?

"You should go back to sleep."

"I will. But, I know you get me, which is why you're here."

Emma shook her head. "It's more than that, but it is part of it. Just because you do bad things doesn't always make you bad. You have done some awful things, but sometimes, when the world makes you hurt, you just want to hurt the world back. Hell, if I had magic powers, who the hell knows what I would've done when I was a kid. A lot of people pissed me off and, yeah, I kicked some asses."

Regina paused, maybe to take a breath or maybe just to process what she wanted to say next. "But, you never killed anyone."

"Maybe because I knew I wouldn't get away with it. I'd been to detention centers and stuff before I went to jail for the watches, so I always had this idea that I wouldn't get away with a major crime, which is why I never stole from any place bigger than a department store," Emma explained. While a thief and a murderer were two rather different criminals, she had been angry enough when she was younger, she believed anyway.

Regina nodded. "It's different when you're queen."

"I would think so." There was no one around to stop Regina, no authority because she was the authority.

Regina fell asleep again, that easily. Her breathing was deeper this time, so she probably going to be out for a few hours. Emma decided to go through the albums they had already looked at one more time. The first album was only the first year of Henry's life, but Regina seemed to document every moment of it. The proud mama. I've got to get Henry over here soon.

She was just going to tell him about Regina's condition and let him decide if he wanted to see her. It seemed fair. He was going to be scarred no matter what, she realized. His mother was dying, probably going to die within the next three weeks. He needed to face that.

"Maybe that's why he's fighting this so hard. He can't face it," Emma muttered. How could he face it? Looking through the albums, she could see that Regina was his whole world for the first few years of his life. Who could handle the entire world collapsing around him? Denial was much easier. "But, denial isn't true. He'll do himself more damage by denying it."

Emma ended up putting Regina to bed. She would come back in a couple of hours, wanting to check on Regina more now. But, for now, she would go home and try to talk to Henry. Maybe even take a breath and try to wrap her mind around everything.

"Hey, Emma, you're home early," Snow noted.

"Yeah, Regina fell asleep," Emma answered, flopping down by Henry on the sofa. He was reading a book, looking much like the mother he did not want to see.

"Then we can spend Saturday together, finally," Henry declared, putting his book down.

"If you want, but I'm going back to your mom's in a couple of hours," Emma told him, hoping he would want to join her.

Henry frowned. "Why? She's just lying to you. She always lies."

Sighing, Emma shook her head and patted Henry's leg. "Not always and not lately. Your mom has done some bad things, but she's not lying about this. I see her get worse every day with my own eyes. It's on you if you don't want to believe it."

"Whatever," he huffed and turned his attention back to his book. "She's playing you."

Emma turned her gaze to Snow, silently requesting assistance. Snow shrugged. She should have known better than to expect help from Regina's hand picked arch nemesis. No one was that good. Or, maybe Snow did not know how to handle the situation either and just did not want to admit it. Well, Emma had to handle it since Henry was her kid.

"She's not playing me. Maybe if you see her," Emma told Henry.

He scoffed and gave her a skeptical look. "Why? She's just gonna lie to me, too."

Emma leveled the boy a glare. "Henry, I know you're upset, but I think you're going to be even more upset down the line."

Turning his nose up, he looked back at his book. Emma huffed, but did not say anything. Instead, she went into the kitchen with Snow.

"I know Regina isn't your favorite person on Earth, but Henry has to rank high. What should I do about him?" Emma asked in a low voice.

Snow shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe you should just leave him be."

"Leave him be? His mom is dying. You don't think he should see her and try to come to terms with that before it's too late?" Emma demanded.

"You're his mother," Snow said in a shaky voice with a wavering smile.

It was a weak argument and Emma did not want to hear it. Turning around, she stormed out of the apartment. She did not know what she would do about Henry. Marching down the street without thinking about where she was going, she almost ran over Doctor Hopper.

"Whoa, sorry," Emma apologized as she reached out to grab him, keeping him from falling over.

"It's okay. Are you all right, Princess?" Doctor Hopper asked, studying her.

Emma put a hand up. "Whoa, first off, it's either Emma or 'Sheriff' and nothing else. And why are you asking if I'm all right?"

He gave her a small smile. "You look troubled. Is there anything you want to talk about? Like why you refuse to accept your title?" He arched an eyebrow, as if the fact that she wanted to be called her name was so bizarre.

"Uh … because I live in a country with no titles," she answered, scrunching up her face. I wish I could talk to him, but he's probably worried about Regina like everyone else, thinking she's going to rise up again and destroy them all. I can't tell him that she's dying right before my eyes. Oh, but I could tell him about Henry! He might have the answers.

A light blush invaded his cheeks as he laughed. "I guess that's true, but that doesn't explain why you look troubled. What's wrong?"

"It's Henry. Well, I just think that he's taking losing his mom pretty lightly. He's acting like she didn't mean anything to him," Emma explained.

Doctor Hopped nodded. "He might need to process everything in his own time. A lot changed around him, around all of us. We all take in things differently and maybe to help him cope with this, especially his hand in it, he wants to act like this is the way things were supposed to be. If you want, I can talk to him and try to get more to the meat of the matter."

Emma frowned a bit. She did not like the idea that she could not get through to Henry on her own. She was his mother, or at least going to be his mother, so he should be able to talk to her and she should be able to help him through his problems. I bet Regina was able to help him through stuff before he decided she was evil.

"I'll keep that in mind, but for now, I think I'll try to talk to him. But, thanks for the offer," Emma said.

He nodded and smiled. Emma went on her way after that, walking over to Regina's house. She kind of ran on autopilot and she wondered if that was how she had been since the curse broke. She did not think she was, but she floated between what was real here in Storybrooke now and Regina's surreal illness. She did not think about much outside of Regina and Henry. Was that autopilot? She found she did not care.

When she was down the street from the Mayoral Mansion, she noticed some boys standing around. She did not like the looks of them. She marched up to the quartet, making sure to appear as authoritative as possible, making sure her sheriff's star was visible.

"What's going on here?" Emma demanded, scowling at them. The boys jumped, but one stepped forward as the shock wore off.

He was teenage boy, probably seventeen or eighteen. He was wearing a long, black coat with matching fingerless gloves. His short, wavy brown hair fell into his face. He had a strong jaw and deep, sharp chocolate eyes. He smiled at her, looking at her with a slightly tilted head. He was studying her and she could tell. These kids were definitely up to no good and this little worm probably thought he could con her.

"Hey, Sheriff. We were just checking out your pad," he answered.

"Yeah, and why is that?" Emma asked. She did enough stealing in her life to know when it looked like someone was casing a place and it looked that way to her. She thought they were pretty stupid to be doing it in broad daylight, but most people probably thought they just some punk kids looking for something to do.

"Nah, just saying that it's nice to have someone in there that's worth it, instead of the Evil Queen," he commented with a shrug.

"Okay, well, don't huck rocks at it or anything since it is my place now," Emma stated in a stern tone.

He chuckled. "I won't and neither will my friends. Name's Jack, but everybody calls me Swift, 'cause of the curse, you know." He stuck out his hand and she shook it.

"All right, Swift. Go find something to do," Emma said as they let go of each other's hands.

He smirked and nodded, walking off with his unnamed friends. Emma watched them go and then she ducked into the house, going through the front door. She put her hand on her hip for her gun, but found that she was not wearing it. She listened carefully for anything, in case of the boys had worked their way in the house before she came along. It did not sound like it, though.

Making her way upstairs, she found Regina sitting up in bed. Regina's body shook and Emma fell to herself instantly. Emma wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.

"I heard people outside," Regina whispered, holding onto Emma.

"It was just some kids. They were outside, talking and looking at the house. They don't know you're here. They think this is my place," Emma assured her, gently rubbing Regina's arm to keep her calm.

Regina nodded and they were quiet for a long time. Emma caressed Regina's shoulder, thinking about how she actually wished she could hold Regina a little longer, just a little longer. The world outside was crazy, but right here was sane, until she remembered that Regina was cursed to die in a month.

"I tried to get Henry to come over," Emma said.

Regina tensed and clutched Emma's wrist. "He still won't agree?"

Sighing, Emma tried not to think about how she liked having Regina hold onto her. "He still thinks you're lying. Of course, he might just be pushing that because he can't deal with this. It's a lot on him."

Regina nodded. "It is. Can you just tell him I'm sorry for lying to him? I'm sorry. I tried to be a good mother. I truly did. I didn't want to make him think he was crazy when he got the book, but what else could I do? I couldn't tell him he was right. I didn't want him to think of me as the Evil Queen. What else could I do?" Her voice cracked and a tear ran down her cheek.

Emma carefully wiped away the tear from the yellowing cheek. "You don't have to explain to me, Regina. Hell, I lied to the kid about his dad."

Brown eyes blinked in surprise. "You did?"

"Can't exactly tell him that his dad was a low-life asshole that left me to go to jail for him, right?"

Regina nodded. "No, I don't suppose you can, but he will think you should have if he learns you lied."

"He'll really get pissed at finding out I didn't want to tell him that his dad's an ass?" Emma asked incredulously. I'm so not ready for this motherhood thing if he'll be pissed about that. I mean, shit, who wants to know their father is a loser?

"The first time he got exceptionally angry with me was when he figured out that I was never pregnant with him," Regina said.

"What?"

"I will never forget it. He was about seven. We went to Granny's and he saw Ashley. He wanted to know why her belly was so big and she explained that she was going to have a baby. They had the conversation many times, so I didn't think anything of it, but Henry went off script this time. He was more knowledgeable now than when they last spoke about it and he had so many questions. When she left to do her job, he asked me how I looked when I was pregnant with him. Then, he asked why we didn't have any pictures of me pregnant, even though we had so many other pictures. He started upsetting himself and I tried to calm him down and explain to him that families are made differently and our family was special. He didn't want to hear it. He stated you can only be a mommy if you have the baby, so I wasn't a mommy."

Emma winced. "Ouch."

"He stopped talking to me for a while, didn't want any explanations. I later learned that a lesson in his school dealt with science and the different ways species have babies, like laying eggs and such. No matter how much I tried to tell him otherwise, he was convinced I wasn't his mother. Maybe he still feels that way and that's why he won't come."

Sighing, Emma scratched her head. "I don't think that's it. Doctor Hopper offered to talk to him. I didn't tell him about you or anything!"

Regina did not even bat an eye. "You probably could. The bug is loyal to your mother, but he's well beyond a goody-goody. I doubt he would bring a mob with pitchforks and torches to the door."

Emma nodded and then suddenly frowned. "How dare fucking Frankenstein of all people show up at your damn door with an angry mob?"

Regina laughed. "Oh, irony."

"That guy's a douche bag. I mean, not only does he help screw up your life, but then he has the nerve to be pissed that you got him back. What a dick. But, anyway, do you want me to get Hopper to talk to Henry? I feel kind of bad that I can't get through to him."

Sighing, the smaller woman frowned. "That's how I felt when I first sent him to Hopper."

Emma nodded and wondered if Regina felt the same way she did. "You should be able to talk to him and get through to him, right? I mean, he's your kid, so you should be able to talk to him."

Regina nodded. "Exactly. Maybe we should employ Hopper, though. Let's not kid ourselves, Emma, I am going to die. If Henry does have any sort of emotions for me, he will need to deal with that."

"You've given up looking for a cure?" Emma asked. She did not want Regina to give up and resign herself to this thing. Regina was a fighter, so she was supposed to fight.

"No, but there is no cure."

"Didn't you think the same about the Dark Curse and yet here I am!" Emma pointed out.

"I don't think I can wait around for another product of true love or another Savior."

"Yeah, but maybe I can save you. I mean, I am the Savior. Is it just this town I'm supposed to save? How would this work in a fairy tale?" Emma inquired seriously. She was not what exactly being "the Savior" entailed.

"My true love would kiss me," Regina pointed out the obvious.

"The dead guy?"

Regina frowned. "Yes, Miss Swan, the dead guy. But, the point is, there is no cure for me. There might be a cure out there, but I will not partake of it. Just take our lessons to heart and let's go look at the photo albums more. I'll tell you more about Henry."

Emma nodded and helped Regina out of bed. In the back of her mind, she started wondering how would this play out if this were a fairy tale? She was the hero. How would the hero save the damsel-in-distress… without throwing a sword at a dragon or this True Love's Kiss thing?

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Emma was right about those boys outside of Regina's house being up to no good.