Zootopia One Shots by Anguirus1955
Disclaimer: Zootopia is owned by Disney. Personally, I think that this information is obvious, but for the sake of legal protection, I will state it anyway.
010 - Finnick's Weird Day
Finnick's day had started off normally enough. He had woken up to the sound of his alarm clock, rolled out of his sleeping bag, and had cleaned his mouth with his travel kit in his van before finding a place with a bathroom after his whole body had woken up. He had begun plotting out the day's hustle, not wanting to use the same hustle as the day prior in order to avoid suspicion, and had counted how much money he had in order to get the necessary supplies.
He was just getting ready to drive to his first destination when he heard a strange sound outside. Opening the van doors, he stepped out and looked around, seeing two strange-looking animals, with antlers made of twigs attached to their heads. They were tall, and bony thin, with no hair or fur on them at all. They had weird masks on their faces, with cutouts where the mouths and eyes would be located.
Looking up into the sky, Finnick saw the weirdest thing ever. He saw a giant Blue Whale hovering in the sky. "The hell?" he asked rhetorically at the sight. He then heard the whispers of the strange animals in front of him.
"Okay, what's going on here?" Finnick asked, annoyed. "He's onto us! Get the bag!" the taller one gasped. "Right!" the other one complied before grabbing a large burlap sack and throwing it over Finnick. Finnick then lifted the rim of the sack up and glared at the two creatures. "It didn't work! He's too powerful!" one of them exclaimed in terror.
"Quickly! Use the freeze gun!" the other one said. The second one then produced a strange looking gun and fired several blue rings at Finnick, which then encircled him. "Hey, what is this!?" Finnick asked. "It works! Excellent! Now, to take him aboard our mighty vessel of research!" the first creature said as they threw the burlap sack back over Finnick.
Finnick fell out of the sack and onto a cool metal surface with a wince and a grimace. "Ouch," he muttered as he stood up and looked around. "What the... where am I?" he asked. "Youuuuu... are inside our mighty advanced space ship!" one of the creatures said. Both animals removed the masks and the twigs from their heads, showing creatures with muzzles shorter than that of a rabbit. "Whoa..." Finnick whispered.
"Are-Are you guys... aliens?" Finnick asked. "Huh?" the one with blue eyes asked. Both aliens had two digits on each paw, or hand, and a slight biomechanical look to them, along with digitigrade legs. "Don't get confused! Don't let it trick you!" the one with green eyes exclaimed. "Oh right!" Blue replied.
"Now, we will begin our experiment... on the EARTH ELEPHANT!" Green Eyes announced dramatically. "E-Elephant?" Finnick asked. "I'm not an elephant!" he yelled. "Yes you are!" Blue retorted. "Look!" he said as he pointed to a screen the had dropped down. On the screen was footage of Finnick in his elephant costume during the pawsicle scam that he and Nick had performed during Officer Hopps' first week.
"My little boy has always wanted to be an elephant," Nick said with his charming voice. "Okay, where did you get that? Why did you get that? When did you get that? And HOW did you get that footage?" Finnick asked. The incident in question had occurred over two years ago.
"That doesn't matter right now!" Green said. "Yeah! What matters is that it proves you're an elephant!" Blue added. "It was a SCAM! We were hustlin' animals out of a free jumbo pop for a scam!" Finnick exclaimed. "You're quite articulate for an elephant," Blue said. "Eeeeeuuuueeeeaaaeeeeuuuuuueeeee-yeah!" Green Eyes exclaimed.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Finnick asked in disgust. "Grab the weasel!" Blue ordered Green. "Why do I always have to grab the stuff?" Green asked as he walked a short distance and retrieved a small rubber duck. "Here we go, the Earth Weasel!" Green said triumphantly.
"That's a rubber duck!" Finnick exclaimed. "Nonsense! Now, fuse the elephant to the weasel!" Blue ordered green. "When we are finished, you will be added to our mighty collection of harvested beings from across the universe!" Blue exclaimed as he pointed to a vast array of empty tubes and containers lining the ship's interior. "Um... where are they?" Finnick asked.
"They escaped!" Green said. "Don't say that! It might give him ideas!" Blue reprimanded Green. "Oh, sorry," Green said. "Um, could you just let me go?" Finnick asked them. "No. It's impossible, for we have passed the point of no retuuuuuuuuuuurrrrn," Green said. Finnick looked down at the clear window that showed the megalopolis of Zootopia below them.
"Um, are you sure about that?" Finnick asked them. "I mean, I could just jump down onto a roof or something an-wait a minute! You're just hovering in plain sight above the city?" Finnick asked. "What? Of course not!" Green replied. "Yes, we have an advanced cloaking system in place!" Blue added.
Down on the streets of Zootopia, Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde stared up at the giant blue whale floating in the sky. "Well, there's something you don't see every day," Nick commented. "Uh-huh," Judy added.
"But enough about philosophy," Blue said. "But, we weren't discussing-" "Silence! Begin the hideous experiment!" Blue ordered as Green grabbed a roll of duct tape. "What do you think you're doing!?" Finnick asked as they ganged up on him with the tape and the duck.
Several minutes later, Blue and Green stood back, looking at Finnick in amazement. "Good work. Absolutely amazing!" Blue said. "Excellent indeed, isn't it!?" Green asked him as the two nimrods congratulated themselves. The rubber duck had been duct-taped to Finnick's head.
"You guys are morons. Complete and utter morons," Finnick growled. "What should we do next?" Blue asked. "I know! Let's fuse him to this juice," Green suggested as he took a sip out of a box of juice. "No, no. I think we've already proven our mastery of the fusing technology," Blue said.
"But the juice! JUICE!" Green whined. "Hey! I'm the captain and I'm sick of you always fusing things to my juice boxes!" Blue exclaimed angrily. Finnick watched the two idiots continue their argument as he spied a hatch in the ship. "I know! Let's see how he reacts to having things shoved through his head!" Blue suggested before taking a sip of juice.
"No shoving! His head is just begging for juice fusion!" Green countered. Finnick walked over to the hatch and tried to open it. "Hey! The elephant is escaping!" Blue yelled. "Oh shit," Finnick muttered. "Get him!" Green cried as he and Blue ran forward. Finnick grabbed the rubber duck and tore it away form his head, wincing as the tape tore at his fur.
"Gyaah!" Finnick roared as he threw the rubber duck at Blue. "Oh no! I'm infected! I've been infected!" Blue screamed as he juggled the rubber duck in his claws. "It's okay! I've got the vaccine!" Green exclaimed as he pushed a tube of chap-stick against Blue. "Oh, thank you! I thought I was dead for a second there," Blue said in relief.
The two aliens then turned to look at Finnick. Finnick pointed to the side, and both aliens looked in the direction he was pointing. When they looked back, he was gone. "Oh no! Another escape! Is it just me!? Is it just me!? Huh!?" Blue exclaimed in frustration. Neither of them paid much attention to the open ventilation shaft above them.
Finnick crawled through the shaft until he found another hatch to jump down through. He landed on his feet and look around, seeing a multitude of catwalks and rails throughout a large room, filled to the brim with empty specimen containers. Sparks flew from various machinery, playing games of light and shadow as he ran through the room, noticing the shadows of the idiots behind him. Finnick stopped briefly to make shadow puppets, creating a butterfly, rabbit, and a bat.
He then quickly ran through a doorway, closing the door behind him as he entered another room, filled with even more tubes and containers. "Dammit, there has to be a way out of this place," Finnick said to himself as he walked around. He saw another open ventilation shaft and smirked.
"Arrgh!" Blue yelled in frustration as he and Green grabbed some cups and placed them under a juice dispenser. "We shouldn't have fused him! We've made him twice as powerful! Twice as deadly!" Blue exclaimed. "I'm telling you, a juice fusion would have slowed him down good," Green said. "Oh, not the juice again!" Blue yelled.
"Why!? We have plenty to spare!" Green retorted. "What if the juice had made him more powerful, huh!? did you think of that!?" Blue replied. "Whoa! Whoa! Wait!" Blue exclaimed before sniffing the air. "Are we talking about the same juice?" Green asked Blue.
"Yeah. Hey, when was the last time you cleaned yourself?" Blue asked him. "Define self," Green replied. Up in a vent shaft, Finnick shook his head in disgust at the two aliens in the snack room below him. Finnick continued crawling until he found a grill inside of a room filled with large metal pods.
"What are these?" he asked himself as he dropped down into the room. The door slid open the aliens stared at him, slack-jawed. "Look, there he is! He's trying to use the escape pods!" Blue exclaimed. "Oh, that's what these are? Thanks!" Finnick said as he climbed into one. Blue and Green hissed and waved their claws at him in a futile attempt to be menacing.
"Okay, here we go!" Finnick said as he pressed the launch button. The countdown timer went from ten to zero, and then the large pod dropped out of the belly of the ship and onto the streets below. Finnick yelled at the sensation of weightlessness until gravity caught up to him. "Ouch," he grumbled.
Meanwhile, Nick and Judy watched at the large spherical pod crashed into the ground. "Did that thing just give birth?" Nick asked in amazement. "I don't think that's a baby whale," Judy said as she and Nick walked forward. A hatch on the pod opened, and Finnick slowly climbed out. "Finnick!" Nick exclaimed.
"Hey, Nicky. What's up?" Finnick asked with a cough as he looked up. "Um... not much. What happened to you?" Nick asked in return. "Buddy, you ain't gonna BELIEVE the stupidity that I've witnessed today," Finnick said tiredly. "Can't be any worse than when I sold that rug to Mr. Big," Nick replied.
"I still can't believe you actually did that," Judy said with a sigh. "Believe it," Finnick said before he took in the sight of her rounded belly. "Hey, you and Nicky here already makin' hybrids? Now there's a fusion," Finnick commented. Judy lifted her uniform to show him a large bag of candy strapped to her stomach. "Sorry," Finnick said. "They're for Clawhauser when we return to the station," Judy explained. "I didn't ask, but whatever," Finnick said.
"Great, another escape," Blue said in frustration. "Oh well. It's time for our next subject: the Earth Platypus!" he exclaimed. Down on the ground, Chief Bogo looked up at the sky and blinked in confusion as a teleportation beam took him up into the ship. Benjamin Clawhauser's jaw dropped in shock before he called in the event on his radio.
Another one shot, because I feel like it. Besides, there really aren't enough stories out there right now that focus on Finnick.