Chapter 10

In the end, they let a further two full days pass before they spoke to Arthur, asking to see him in private on the evening of the second day. But in those two days, Merlin had continued to support the grieving couple. Arthur had been uncharacteristically short tempered and moody. The truth was, he'd felt that duty required him to put his own feelings aside and to continue fulfilling his responsibilities as king as normal. The little time he did have out of the public gaze was spent with Gwen, trying to be strong for her and support her in her heartbreak.

But Merlin was one of the few who had began to have some idea of just how deeply it had affected Arthur and his grief could not be completely suppressed or help but come out in other ways, his anger being one of them. And Merlin was the one who had born the brunt of it. Arthur had been almost constantly short-tempered with him, finding fault if Merlin had done the slightest thing wrong, and even when he hadn't. But Merlin had understood. He had tried his best not to annoy Arthur: he hadn't answered back, he'd done everything he could to be efficient, quiet and gentle, and he'd cut his master slack each and every time Arthur was irritable. Arthur had continued to look pale and drawn, and if he did eat, it was only the smallest amount. And much as Merlin and Gaius wanted to give Arthur more time, after two days they felt they could leave it no longer.

Arthur came to Gaius' rooms. It seemed the easiest place to find some privacy, where they knew they wouldn't be disturbed. As Arthur closed the door behind him, he turned to Gaius.

"You asked to see me, Gaius".

There was already a knot in Arthur's stomach. He couldn't think of any reason that Gaius would want to see him like this, unless it was about Guinevere.

"Please take a seat, Sire".

It wasn't the words themselves, but rather the tone with which Gaius spoke them that filled Arthur with a fear that left his mouth horribly dry, and he forced himself to say the next words: "Is there something wrong, Gaius?"

As Arthur listened, Gaius repeated almost word for word the things he had told Merlin two nights before. Arthur sat in a stunned silence for a few moments, before questioning Gaius, starting with a single word.

"Morgana?"

"There is no way of knowing, Sire, but she would certainly have the motivation"

"But how could this happen? All our food and water is tasted before it comes to us"

"Yes, but by whom? Unless the affected water was taken by a woman carrying a child it would pass through the body of any man or any woman without inflicting any harm".

Arthur, once again, looked in deep shock, but worse was still to come.

"I'm afraid that's not all, Sire. The potion that I believe she drank may have a more permanent effect".

Arthur could barely bring himself to voice his question, "What do you mean?"

"She may not have lost just the child, Sire; she may have lost ability to have another".

There was a long silence, as Arthur fixed his eyes on the floor and tried to take in the enormity of what he was being told, although whatever fresh anguish had been brought to his heart was kept to himself. Eventually Arthur spoke again, hanging on to the one piece of hope that was in the physician's words. "You said "may have had a more permanent effect"? Then it's not definite?"

"I am sure of the effect, my Lord, but what I mean is that there is a possible cure".

"Go on…"

"I believe there is an ancient cure for the damage that has been wrought. It took me long time to find it. It is in druid lore…."

"You mean magic?"

"Not exactly, my Lord. You know that the druids are a peaceable people, but they are also a very ancient people. Their knowledge goes back a long way before that of any others. They understand the workings of the world possibly better than anyone, and their writings speak of a cure that does not involve incantations or magic, but which does I believe tap deep into the power of nature itself to bring healing".

"And what is this cure?"

"There is a tree – hundreds of years old if the legends are true, and the only one of its kind. It is known in the druid tongue as the Ysarillion Tree. According to their writings, its leaves can bring healing when a woman's childlessness has been caused by magic, if those leaves are picked by the husband's hands".

"And there is only one such tree?"

"Yes, my Lord"

"And where will I find it?".

It was only at this moment that Gaius paused before speaking again.

"It grows in the Vale of Ishatar, my Lord".

Merlin watched Arthur, as once again the implications of what Gaius had said sank in, and the king completed the words for Gaius: "In Lot's kingdom".

Merlin anxiously waited to see what Arthur's reaction would be, but after several seconds of further silence, Arthur suddenly rose to his feet, and said in what they both could tell was a slightly choked voice, "I can't talk about this now and Guinevere must not know anything of this". And with that he turned his back on them and walked straight out of the room without a further word.

Gaius and Merlin remained staring at the door for several seconds, neither of them saying a thing, before turning back to face each other and the matter that deeply concerned both of them. Gaius was the first to speak.

"What's he going to do, do you think?"

"I really don't know".

"Albion needs an assured succession if it is to become firmly established"

"I know. I'll do all I can, but it's not going to be straightforward"

They sat in silence for a moment before continuing, both very aware of the solemn word that Arthur had given to Lot.

"Arthur is a man of principle and will hold to what he believes to be right, even if it's at great personal cost"

Merlin sighed. "You don't need to tell me that. I've seen him put his head on an executioner's block just to keep his word."

After a moment, Merlin continued with bitterness in his voice, "You may not have any proof, but this has Morgana written all over it. Ever since you told me I've been thinking about it. If she had simply killed Gwen along with the child, Arthur would eventually have found himself another queen who would have borne him an heir in time. But Morgana knows Arthur too well. If Gwen is left unable to bear children, Arthur would never dream of being unfaithful to her to produce an heir, and she knows that he wouldn't resort to magic either." He paused, shaking his head. "How could she have turned into someone so cruel, Gaius?"

But Gaius, of course, had no answer, and again the two of them fell silent. Once again it was the older man who eventually spoke first.

"And Arthur – have you any more idea how he's coping with it all?"

Merlin sighed again. "I don't think he's giving himself any time to grieve. I think he sees it as his duty to carry on as if nothing has happened. He's hardly given himself any break, and what we've just told him isn't going to help".

"Well, you know what duty means to Arthur – he will always put Camelot before his own needs."

"And when he's not fulfilling his duties, he's at Gwen's side supporting her. And he hasn't spoken properly to me since it happened. I'm really concerned for him, Gaius. I just don't think he should be carrying on like this".

"I think I share your concerns, Merlin. Keep a close watch on him, as far as you are able"

But both Merlin and Gaius would have been even more concerned had they seen Arthur a few moments after he'd left them. He stood facing the wall in one of the dark corners of a deserted Camelot corridor, with his right arm resting against the cold stone, and his head down upon his arm. He was breathing rapidly and unevenly, and was taking in large gulps of air as he tried desperately to regain control of himself and to bury his feelings once more. And if Morgana had also seen Arthur at that moment, she would undoubtedly have been delighted that her handiwork had had the desired effect and brought Arthur lower than he'd ever been before.

Arthur looked up suddenly as he heard the sound of feet approaching, and a momentary look of fear crossed his face at the thought of being discovered in the state he was in by one of his subjects. With another monumental effort, he managed to compose himself before it was too late and began walking down the corridor again, just as one of the courtiers came around the next corner. Arthur nodded curtly to acknowledge him before going on to continue his duties and perform a knighting ceremony later that evening.