So I'm sorry to all that it has taken so long for me to update. I usually update every 2 – 3 days but life got in the way this time. I hope you are all still enjoying this story and continue reading it… For this chapter I am going to write a bit of it from Brittany's POV and for the purpose of simplicity any Spanish in this chapter will be written in English because it will be used a lot, let me know what you think. Love it or hate it, let me know ! :)

Santana's POV

You know, sometimes we know we shouldn't do something but that's exactly why we do it… We can't be afraid to go after what we want to do or what we want to be. But then, we can't be afraid to pay the price which can sometimes mean a broken heart.

She was awoken by the bed shifting beneath her and opened her eyes slowly to see Brittany creeping around the room trying to pick up her clothes as quietly as she could. For the umpteenth time that week, her heart sank... she wanted to do or say anything to let her friend know that she NEEDED her to stay and not leave her alone again. Instead she watched quietly as she saw her friend gather everything she needed and tiptoe out of the room in silence… Santana didn't even say a word… she felt like a coward. She somehow felt used or dirty… she had just watched the girl she loved walk out of her room with her shame so blatant and hadn't even had the courage to stop her. She couldn't help the tears that spilled over her eyes when she realized that they hadn't made any progress at all, despite everything that had happened last night. She was still as alone as ever.

Brittany's POV

As she walked out of Santana's front door in to the cool morning light she was trying to suppress the feeling of regret that was threatening to spill out of her. She knew that what she had just done was going to do some serious damage to her best friend… although Santana never let on; she knew that the Latina had issues with abandonment and what she had just done definitely counted as that.

As soon as she arrived outside she remembered that she hadn't driven last night and realized that she was pretty much stranded, she looked back towards the house and seriously contemplated going back in and asking for a ride home with some lame excuse to get her out at this early hour but she quickly pushed that thought to the back of her mind knowing that the look of pain that would flash across her best friend's face would be too much to handle. She took out her phone and scrolled through the contact list and finally decided that the best person to call was Quinn… it was early but she knew this girl would come and get her. That's what friends were for, right?

She felt like she had been waiting forever and could swear she had seen the curtains in Santana's bedroom twitch a couple of times before Quinn turned up looking a little worse for wear. She jumped in the passenger's seat keeping her eyes trained on the floor in order to ignore the other blonde's questioning eyes. She knew she wasn't going to get off that easy though… they rode in silence for a couple of minutes before the other girl spoke up.

"So… you wanna tell me what happened?" the words were innocent enough but each one felt like a little punch. It took everything she had to reply, trying to keep her voice casual.

"Not much… you know she is the only one who can calm me down when I get like that…" she could feel Quinn's eyes on her almost burning the side of her face and almost sensed the roll of eyes that followed. She wanted to say more but was afraid of what she might say. Quinn wasn't going to let this one go and she knew it.

"So, Santana calmed you down and that was it? You didn't say anything about what's been going on with you? Hell, I don't even know what's going on so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't. Just please tell me you didn't do anything to make this more complicated…" before Brittany could help herself, the tears spilled over and she said the words she hadn't meant to say to anyone, EVER, bubble out of her mouth.

"I slept with her…" an odd sense of calm and relief washed over her once the words left her mouth. Even though she knew that she was going to get hell for it, it, somehow, felt good to get it off her chest.

Before she knew what was happening her hand was flying up to the dashboard to stop herself from hurtling in to it as Quinn slammed on the brakes.

"Fuck! Quinn, what the hell are you doing!" she yelled rubbing her hand from the force of impact.

"You SLEPT with her!" she heard the anger and surprise in the other voice and flinched as the words hit her. She didn't even know how to respond so she just nodded.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Brittany? I mean, I know you're confused and everything, but seriously… didn't you even stop to think about Santana? She told you she LOVED you and you tell her you don't feel the same way and then you go and sleep with her! Oh my god… now she is going to wake up with you gone." She chanced a look over at her friend and saw her head in her hands… she didn't realise she felt this bad until now. Fuck, what have I done…?

Santana's POV

People will forget what you have said, they will forget what you have done, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

She was sure that this feeling she had now was one that she would remember for the rest of her life. The feeling of absolute heartbreak was so undeniably painful that it was even starting to feel like a physical pain. Her chest was tight and it was almost as if she couldn't take in enough air to feel like she was really breathing. How could the girl that had promised never to leave or abandon her break that promise… Again? Whoever said that it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a complete fool.

She felt mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and slept away all the pain she was feeling hoping to wake up Monday morning with this all behind her. She knew this wasn't possible but she was willing to try anything to lose this feeling of hopelessness. She switched her phone off, shut all the blinds in her room and fell in to bed cocooning herself in the covers.

Somewhere in the throes of her depression she became aware that someone was relentlessly and loudly banging on her door downstairs. Regretting getting up almost as soon as she had she reluctantly moved down to answer the door praying with each step she took that it wasn't Brittany coming back to trample her heart some more… she may be strong but even she had reached her limit for pain.

She was surprised to find Quinn at her door looking harassed and even a little bit angry.

"Santana! Oh my god… are you ok? Where the hell have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you since Saturday morning! Don't you ever do this to me again! Do you have any idea how worried I am?" she stumbled backwards as the blonde threw herself forward and caught her in a bone crunching hug. The warmth and compassion coming from the other girl slowly started to work away at the edges of the numbness she felt. When she replied to the girl, her voice came out raspy and hoarse, it gave away just how broken she was feeling.

"I'm sorry Quinn, I really wasn't in the mood for anything let alone company."

"S… Brittany told me what happened the other night." She raised her head in shock and caught the other blonde's sympathetic eyes; she could feel the anger rising up in her.

"Shit… can she never keep her mouth shut about anything!" she was saying the more to herself than to Quinn but it seemed to just sit between them as she felt the other girl try and find the words to respond. After an uncomfortable silence she felt tears spring to her eyes. For fuck's sake… can I not go an entire day without crying now! What the hell is happening to me… snap out of it Santana, this isn't you. She wiped a stray tear off her cheek and hardened her eyes… apparently she did this a little too late and caught the look of pity on her friend's face. Great… the last thing I need is pity.

"S… I am so sorry. I was the one who told her to tell you about her feelings but –" she couldn't help but cut in with a snide remark

"Yeh, and look how good that turned out." Quinn didn't even flinch and just carried on what she had been saying.

"I never thought she would take it this far. She didn't mean to hurt you, you know that as well as I do, S… she's just confused." The sentence just seemed to fade off at the end and she took that as her cue to talk, she wasn't meaning to take it out on Quinn but all her pent up anger and hurt just surged out of her.

"And you don't think I am confused? Hmm? You don't think that I am just as afraid of my feelings as she is? The difference between me and her is that I am not too much of a coward to face and admit to them." Somewhere in the middle of her tirade she lost all resolve and the anger just disappeared leaving hurt and confusion.

"Just tell me why she won't love me back, Q? Am I not good enough?" that was when her voice finally broke and tears streamed down her face. This time, however, she didn't even bother stopping them. She felt the girl in front of her move in for a hug; this time enveloping her in a hug so perfect that it conveyed all the emotions felt between them… support, love, understanding, sympathy, pain... She muffled a sob in her friend's shoulder as she heard Quinn's soft voice whisper in to her hair.

"S… of course you are good enough. Please don't ever let yourself think that you are not. She does love you, trust me… she just doesn't know how to deal with these feelings yet. I hate seeing you like this; it's painful for me to see you losing yourself… you have lost who you are, S… through loving Brittany TOO much you've forgotten that you are special too. Please believe me when I sat that…" those words were so perfect she didn't want to ruin them by replying.

For the first time ever, she let herself be vulnerable with another person. Quinn held her until she finally stopped crying and then left but not before saying two words that conveyed everything she needed Santana to know.

"I'm here…" she didn't need to reply… there were no words left to say.

Finally feeling more at peace than she had in a long while she let herself feel hope… hope that she could and WOULD get through this. She fell in to a dream less sleep that night.

Monday Morning

She woke up to the sun streaming through her curtains and a headache that was caused by her hours of crying the day before. Knowing that she would have to walk in to school and be in the same proximity as Brittany brought back all her nerves and fear. Trying her best to shake off any uncertainty she was feeling she let her body wake up slowly and set about her morning routine.

Only once she had arrived in the school parking lot did she take out her phone and switch it on. She watched the screen light up and watched as it booted up… as soon as her signal kicked in the phone started vibrating non-stop indicating that she was receiving text messages. She almost didn't want to look. 21 missed calls and 13 texts from Quinn, 19 missed calls and 4 texts from Mercedes and 2 texts from Puck… not a single thing from Brittany. It almost hurt how unsurprised she was. She took a deep breath and gave herself a mental pep-talk before walking towards the front doors; she knew that the feeling of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

She froze when she walked in to the hall and saw a blonde girl standing next to her locker but immediately breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that it was just Quinn, an odd sensation washed over her when she saw it wasn't her best friend… it wasn't disappointment but it wasn't relief either.

Thankfully she managed to go the whole day avoiding any and all contact with Brittany, this may have been due to Quinn's near constant presence at her side the entire day but she knew deep down it was because Britt knew that this time she had done something that couldn't be undone with a simple 'sorry'. Santana decided to skip glee club that afternoon (so as not to have to be in such close proximity with her best friend) and instead decided to drive out to see her Abuela.

Her grandmother was probably one of the only constants in her life, she was a woman that could truly be relied on. She knew she took this for granted sometimes but her Abuela never made her feel bad.

When she pulled in to the driveway of the familiar house she felt a smile creep on to her face as she watched the old woman meticulously pick weeds from her rose bed at the front door. She sat for a moment, reveling in the normalcy of all this before exiting the car and turning to face the beaming woman.

"Santanita! It so good to see you again, angel. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hi Abuela. No reason for the stopover… just felt like visiting. Mom and Dad are away again so I thought I'd come and see you." She couldn't help but smile at her grandmother as she said this.

"That's very sweet of you, my love. Come in, we'll have some iced tea and you can tell me everything that has been going on since your last visit." She let herself be led in to the house and let the scent of her childhood wash over her as they made their way in to the living room. They spent the next hour talking about trivial things and made small talk about her day to day life. Her grandmother was the type of person who, no matter what you were talking about, would genuinely listen and be interested.

They fell in to a comfortable silence after a while and just enjoyed each other's company, when she looked up again she found her Abuela's eyes on her and she shifted awkwardly under the intense gaze. The silence was broken by her grandmother's soft voice.

"There is so much sadness behind your eyes, mija." It was more a statement than of a question and she appreciated the fact that her grandmother was never one to pry.

"I AM sad Abuela, but I have talked about it too much over the last couple of days. I'm so tired of it and feeling like this. Can you just come and hold me?" she was surprised to find that, for once, she wasn't melting in to tears as she thought about the past week's events.

"Oh mi amor, you didn't even need to ask." She felt herself being hugged and breathed in the familiar scent of her grandmother. She could feel her whole body relax in to the embrace and just let all her thoughts melt away. They sat like this for a while and when they broke apart she saw such love pouring out her grandmother's eyes it made her catch her breath. This is what family is supposed to be like, it should never be about approval or forced like it was with her parents… it should be easy.

As she drove away from her grandmother's house she became lost in her thoughts again and before she knew it she was driving down Brittany's street. As she passed the Pierce house, despite herself, she glanced up to Britt's window and saw no light on. She sped up down the street so as not to accidently run in to Brittany and headed home. As she turned in to her driveway she could see a lone figure hunched over on her doorstep… as her headlights swept over the porch she could see the familiar blonde hair of her best friend on the bowed head and she swore that her heart actually stopped beating. Fuck… please not now. I can't do this again… Despite the inner turmoil she was feeling as she climbed the steps she knew there was no way she could ignore the girl just a few feet ahead of her. She watched as the head came up and blue eyes caught brown, her eyes scanned the face before her and she could see that Britt had been crying. She let out an exasperated sigh and sat herself down a safe distance away.

"What do you want, Brittany? Why are you here?" Haven't you hurt me enough? She left the last part and even though she wanted to be angry she just sounded resigned.

Brittany's POV

As she looked in to the brunette's face she lost the whole speech that she had been running through her head. Shit… she looks so broken. I did this, I broke her. She took a deep breath and started speaking.

"I need to fix this… US. I need to know if we can come back from this." She felt her voice break from the words and the silence that fell over them was agonizing… she could feel her heart beating a mile a minute… but the next words she heard were enough for her heart to break in to a million little pieces.

"I don't know if you can, Brittany. I don't know how we can get back to where we were from this… I- I just… I don't know anything, anymore."

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it. If there are any suggestions you have please feel free to tell me… any feedback is appreciated. :)