They had spent two days, two days Detective Murdoch and Dr Ogden were scarcely seen in the corridors of the police station. They came to work, as they did for years, but they had very few exchanged with colleagues. They came together in the morning, they spent their lunch in the nearby park, they each waited for the evening and there were many times when colleagues saw them talking in the morgue or the office of Detective Murdoch. They were closer and caring toward one another more than they usually showed in their professional relationship, not hesitating to leave a kiss on the cheek of the other, to take their hand or to caress their arm tenderly.
So nobody was surprised to see Julia entering the police station to head immediately to the office of William. No one stopped her, no one asked her a question. And it was not until she closed the office door, they understood all that it was a private matter between the Murdoch couple.
-You wanted to see me? Julia threw approaching William who was standing in the center of his office.
-I received this, he said, handing her a piece of paper, I think you should read it.
Julia took it as her husband handed her and she looked down to see what there was to write.
-Detective Murdoch, I am writing you this note because we take the train eighteen o'clock that night back home to Montreal. However, I can not bring myself from Roland like that. I understand that the situation is difficult, but I think you and your wife should come, make him your goodbyes. I do not want in any way hurt you more, but I know how your wife has suffered from this situation. She would feel calmer if she could see him one last time. Mary Collman
Julia looked up at him once finished reading. She stared into his and it took only a second to William to approach her and put his hand on her hip.
-If you want to do I'll come with you, murmured the young man, but if you do not want, I understand.
-Whether I can see him to lose again, said Julia, I do not know if I have the strength to see him go away from me.
-But she may be right, we would be appeased. Take your time to think about it, we still have a few hours. When you're ready let me know and I will accept your choice.
Julia nodded and leaned down to kiss his cheek, Julia snuggled in his arms and she sighed deeply, looking at the ceiling. She was lost, again.
When she arrived in the office of William few hours later, he knew she had made her decision. It only takes a glance to understand it and he left his chair to take his hat and leave the office to the arm of his wife. They did not speak on the way to the station, just holding hands. Once on the platform, Julia looked around carefully. William knew the second when she saw Roland because his wife's fingers closed again forcefully on his own. He just looked at her and a sigh, Julia walked to the old woman a little further. She crossed the dark gaze of the old man who accompanied her and who positioned himself between her and the pram where Roland was.
-What are you doing here? Threw the old man with authority.
-I asked her to come Paul, cut the woman, she had the right to say goodbye.
-But she...
-She took care of our little son for weeks, she was his mother all this time, and she has the right to see him today.
The couple exchanged glances but Julia still did not move. She had held her breath until the old man nodded and walked away. She waited a second before taking a step toward the pram and look above. Immediately a huge smile appear on her lips. Roland squirmed smiling, reaching for her. However, Julia did not take him, she put her hand on his belly and she kissed him on the forehead.
-I can not take you with me, she whispered tenderly stroking his cheek, I'd like Roland, more than anything. But you have to start with your family, with your grandfather and your grandmother. William and I have loved living with you, and we enjoyed every second, but it must be so. You showed me that I could love without limits, I would give my life for my child and I was able to be a mother. I can not thank you enough for that little angel, Julia continued, feeling a tear slide down her cheek as she always stroked the baby's stomach tenderly, I love you Roland, with all my heart. And I always will, she sobbed.
She felt his husband's hand in her back and a second later, she turned to him to hug and hold another sob. William holding against him with one hand while watching the baby to give him too broad smiles. He smiled tenderly, holding heim stuffed bunny he immediately took against him.
-You will be missed, he murmured, and you will always remain in our hearts.
He tenderly stroked the cheek of Roland before Julia looks into the pram again.
-Goodbay sweetheart, she murmured before kissing him on the forehead, we love you.
She sat up and she just nodded to the old woman who was next.
-Thank you, she whispered lip.
Then, after a last look, the couple and the pram went off to boarding the train. Julia watched a few moments before turning back and close her eyes, clinging against William. She felt his arms encircle her and his breath above her ear. Yet no one spoke. She simply tighten her arms around him with force, no longer crying, but her heart was still clutching her chest. It was only when the train had left the station and walked away to the north, the couple finally broke up. Then, without a word, they left the station and they went home. As they had done these last two days, they dined almost in silence, before getting changed and going to bed, falling asleep closely entwined with each other.
to be continued...