Iron Chef Walnut Grove.
Almanzo Wilder and Charles Ingalls now have a higher respect for their other halves. The traversty the called food was half-baked, fried, boiled and and burnt onto the Wilder pots and pans. And they had to clean them up.
Suddenly the kitchen door burst open. Backs to the visitor, Charles and Almanzo tussled, thinking it was Caroline and Laura, and both were trying to hide behind the other.
No need to panic - it was only Adam.
"Adam, aren't you supposed to be in Minneapolis?" Almanzo asked, frowning.
"Yes, but I couldn't resist arriving for this story."
"Oh..." Almanzo began, not fully comprehending what Adam said. "Okay."
"I see you gentlemen haven't had a good time in the kitchen."
"Thats the understatement of the year." Charles muttered.
"Guys, I have an idea that will help restore your self-confidence in the kitchen." Adam stated.
"Go ahead, I'm all ears son." Charles said.
"We can talk about it tomorrow." Adam said, as Almanzo chipped away at the gunk on his pan with a chisel.
The next day...
Charles and Almanzo happily got on with their lives in Walnut Grove. Happily for them, their wives weren't mad at them. Infact, any mention of the event caused them to break into hysterical giggling, a fact Almanzo made note of. He'd exploit when Laura put the 'Wild' in Wilder.
Charles decided to take a break and see if Mrs. Foster had any mail for him.
"Yes. Here's one for you and Almanzo."
Charles stared at her blankly.
"Why on earth? We using joint credit somewhere?" Charles wondered.
At lunch, Charles and Almanzo feasted together. Charles was aching to open the letter, so, as soon as Almanzo finished his sandwich, Charles ripped open the letter. A single piece of paper fell out.
Good day Messrs Ingalls and Wilder.
I apologize about not greeting you in person, however, I have to lie low for the moment. The heat is on me.
Don't worry about the challenge - it doesn't hold a candle to your abilities. Oh, and don't forget to light your way.
A.
"What's that bunch of nonsense?" Almanzo asked.
"No idea."
That night...
Charles had dragged Almanzo home to have dinner. Laura had come along, naturally, and whilst Caroline and Laura were being entertained by the musical maestros of Ingalls Cottage, Albert was doing his homework alongside Carrie.
Carrie picked up the paper - it was upsidedown, and she thought it was blank. She held it above the lamp, admiring the pretty orange glow.
Charles noticed, and leapt over Almanzo, Laura and Caroline to reach his destination. Albert wisely got out of the way, for Charles tripped, and dived behind Carrie, snatching the the paper out of her hand.
"I told you to fix that floorboard Charles." Caroline chided. Carrie started bawling.
"Carrie darling, you can't burn my papers."
"Was it your paper Pa?" Carrie asked.
"Yes."
"I'm useless. I can't even burn the right paper."
"Yeah. You are. So what?" Albert said.
Carrie bawled even harder.
"Sorry Ma, sorry Pa. I felt I had to make the situation worse." Albert said.
Charles noticed that words had been added to the letter.
"Now look what you done! Defaced the words of A!" Charles scolded.
Carrie whimpered.
"Don't be so upset - at least your part of this story, no matter how useless you are."
Charles began reading the letter.
Good day Messrs Ingalls and Wilder.
I apologise about not greeting you in person, however, I have to lie low for the moment. The heat is on me.
Don't worry about the challenge - it doesn't hold a candle to your abilities. Oh, and don't forget to light your way.
A.
Well, if you are reading this, I commend you. I should be long gone by now. However, your tasks are simple. You must compete with the other to create a dish that Willie Oleson won't eat. Thing is, he musn't know about this. I'll be back in a week.
Adam.
So, Almanzo and Charles prepared to feed Willie their worst culinary creations. It came as a complete surprise to see Adam skipping stones in the water flowing down to the mill.
"Adam?" Charles asked. "What are you still doing here?"
"And what is with that stupid letter?" Almanzo added.
"Stage wouldn't take me. I've been labeled a danger magnet."
"Ouch." Almanzo said. "Anyway, about the letter."
"Chill guys, I'm still learning to be a spymaster."
"Can you run us through what we need to do?" Charles asked.
"Sure. You know Willie Oleson will eat anything. So, your job is to make something so bad so he doesn't touch it."
"It's a stupid idea." Almanzo said.
"I thought we were supposed to be improving our cooking..." Charles added.
"We are. Which is why I think it's a stupid idea."
"Come on guys. It'll be fun." Adam said.
"Meh." Almanzo said.
"What's in it for me?" Charles asked.
"Dirty aprons. Food. The fuzzy glow you get when you chip someone elses tooth."
"I've never got a fuzzy glow from that." Almanzo said, shaking his head.
"I wondered why the children in primary stayed away from me." Adam mused.
"Whats that got to do with anything?" Almanzo asked.
"Nothing." Charles and Adam said.
Almanzo shook his head disbelievingly.
"Well, I, for one, am not doing this. It's absolutely stupid. And pointless." With that, Almanzo got up and left.
"Charles?" Adam asked hopefully.
"Well." Charles looked torn. "I...I think I'll pass."
Adam broke into a wide smile.
"You're not mad?"
"Nah. I was waiting for you to see sense." Adam stated. "Muffin?" Adam asked, producing a brown paper bag and handing to Charles.
"It's good." Charles said, spraying chocolate chips and crumbs around. "Did you make it?"
Adam nodded proudly. "Well, goodbye Charles, time to commandeer a stage." And Adam set off down the road, disappearing past a grove of trees, never to be seen again...
"I am so going to be seen again!" Adam said, shaking his fist at the author.