Chapter 9: Explaining Spike – Tara/Willow

A/N: Decided there was one more Spike chapter that had to be dealt with before they went to bed.

Challenge: partially to answer a forum request/challenge by DeepBlueJoy for a story with a 'person of color' as a main character – who doesn't die immediately.

Warning: mentions of sexual assault.

Thanks to my betas: sorry guys, I got this one out so late that I couldn't send it to you. Hope it doesn't have too many mistakes in it.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Living room

When Tara came back in the living room several minutes later, she was alone.

"Where's Buffy?" Willow asked, searching behind Tara for her best friend. "Still in the kitchen?"

Shaking her head, Tara replied, "I sent her up to bed. She's had a really hard night, and I think she's going to need all the rest she can get. Oh, and I'll have to stay in the room with her tonight," she added without thinking.

"What? Why?" Willow looked like she had been sucker-punched. Her girlfriend was going to sleep with Buffy? "I thought we were-"

Realizing her mistake, Tara interrupted Willow so she could get rid of the stranger, "Robin? Thank you so much for being here for Buffy. While we would have preferred meeting you under better circumstances, I'm glad you were here tonight. Would you mind coming back in the morning?"

Robin understood at least some of the tension in the room. To be honest, he kind of wanted to go home and think about things anyway. Hopefully, he wouldn't drive himself nuts before his dad got there. "It's no problem. If you get a chance, please tell her that Bernie's coming out as soon as he can. I didn't tell him any specifics, but he knows that I need him here."

"He sounds like a very caring man," Tara commented with a soft smile as she walked Robin to the door.

'More than Buffy's Watcher would do, apparently,' Robin couldn't help but think snidely, walking out to his car. He was really glad that his mom had Bernie instead of this putz. Even if Dawn wasn't Buffy's daughter, asking her to raise a child on her own was unthinkable.

After Robin left, Tara guided Willow to the couch and started the talk with an apology, "I didn't mean to cut you off like that, but I thought it would be better for us to discuss this privately."

Still in panic mode, Willow started babbling questions, "Are we breaking up again? Are you leaving me for Buffy? Is that why you're sleeping with her? What-"

Tara quickly put her hand over her girlfriend's mouth when she heard the last full question. "Before you say anything foolish that you'll regret in a couple minutes, I need to tell you something. First of all, unless you're lying to me about the magick, we aren't breaking up again," she promised, asking with her eyes about the magick issue. Seeing the relief in Willow's eyes gave Tara the answer she was hoping for.

"Okay…then what's going on?" Thinking back to what Tara said earlier, a different part of the comment finally sank in and Willow exclaimed, "Oh my god, is Buffy hurt?"

"She is…and in more ways than one. While I was taking pictures of her a little bit ago…" Tara held up her hand to stop Willow's interruption, then decided to re-word that last bit so it didn't sound so…Penthouse-ish, "When I was documenting Buffy's injuries to show Dawn later, Buffy explained what happened earlier."

"While she was on patrol, she was injured enough to slow her down, and she was just getting ready to step into the shower to ease the aches and pains. Suddenly, Spike was there, insisting that she loved him and they belonged together." Tara considered how much to tell Willow, then chose to go with the bare minimum. The rest was really up to Buffy to share if she wanted. "See, she's been turning to him for the past several months because we haven't taken care of her like we should have. Spike thought that meant she loved him – even though she told him many times she didn't. Anyway, he tried to force himself on her…"

There she paused for a moment to catch her breath and to beat back that feeling of helplessness she had when Karen had been raped. When she continued, Tara explained the answer to another question Willow might ask, "I think the reason he could hit her was because the resurrection spell did something to her. It changed her just enough to fool the programming into thinking she wasn't human anymore. Or maybe Spike honestly didn't think she was and the chip followed his brain's lead. I never understood how that thing was supposed to work in the first place," she said with a shake of her head. How the heck was that thing supposed to recognize demons or humans in the first place?

"So he had her pinned while she was on her stomach and was about to-" Willow gasped as she realized what Tara was about to say. Seeing that her girlfriend already understood, Tara skipped to Robin's rescue, not wanting to say the words of what Spike almost did out loud, "All of a sudden, Spike was gone, and Buffy felt dust falling on her. When she turned over, she saw Robin standing there with a stake in his hand."

Willow's face was pale and her voice was shaky as she asked, "So Spike wasn't able to-" Tara shook her head. "I still don't understand why you are staying with Buffy."

"She's most likely going to have nightmares tonight. One of my friends in high school was actually raped, and even though Spike didn't succeed, Buffy's still going to be shaken by the experience. I'm not an expert on the subject, but I think I can help her. Besides, I promised her I'd be with her; I'm not breaking that promise," Tara answered with steel in her voice. She might seem meek a lot of the time, but when she set her mind on something, there was no forcing her.

Realizing how selfish she must have sounded, Willow tried to clarify her question, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean for it to sound like she shouldn't have support, or that I thought it would be a good idea to continue with our earlier plans, I was just curious why you and not me."

Tara's look turned soft again, showing she wasn't angry with Willow. "Have you been around somebody who was sexually assaulted?" she asked. "And if Buffy needs some magical help to get her through the night, I'd much rather do it myself than put you in that position. Personally, I hope she won't need it."

That was a desire that Willow shared with her girlfriend. Somehow she thought it was overly optimistic to expect it, though.

A/N: Not sure, we'll see what Musie comes up with.