Draco Malfoy.

Nott and I were standing on the stairs, pale as ghosts, with an unconscious Sawyer Dumbledore in our arms. After looking at each other, dumbfounded, Nott immediately dropped her. Her body slump and I grabbed her so her head wouldn't hit the stairs. That wouldn't be fun in the morning. Nott put his hands up in surrender.

"She's all yours mate!" he said, staring. "She's your girlfriend!"

"She's not my girlfriend you twit!"

"Well you fight like cats and dogs so I assumed."

"We fight like an intelligent human being and an animal."

"Draco, you shouldn't put yourself down like that." he said, pretending to touch my shoulder and sympathy. I shoved him off.

"Come on! We have to take her to the hospital wing!"

"You take her! I'm going to class!"

Nott ran up the stairs and into Divination. He closed the door behind him giving me one last smug look.

"I always hated you!" I said.

I looked at Sawyer's unconscious body. What the fuck was I supposed to do? No one's ever collapsed in my presence before! Should I leave her there? Well, no. of course, that's not an option.

Well… said the voice in my head. It is an option actually.

I'm already a dick, I don't want to make myself a bigger one, thank you very much.

Oh please, what've you got to lose?

You know what? I'm not talking to you anymore!

Prat.

Leaving my morals behind, I picked up Sawyer from the ground. One arm was holding her legs, the other was holding her back. Images of me bringing a new bride to the homestead flashed like a horror film. I shuddered and tried to move down the stairs. She was surprisingly light. But, then again, she was short and very skinny. And being a death eater does give you muscle.

I sneered at the word death eater. The mark on my arm pulsated beneath my sleeve. I looked anywhere but there. Even after all this time the thought of killing still made me nauseous. No matter how many times you picture it, it's never as easy as you thought it would be. First rule of a killer, never look your victim in the eye. Because if you have a conscience, it'll haunt you forever. It's bad enough killing a person, but my job was to kill one of the most powerful and brilliant wizards of all time. And his niece was lying in my arms. That's sounds a lot sexier than it really is. Sawyer's head lolled to the side and bounced up and down with every step I took. Her mouth hung open and a smile cracked on my face when I thought of what to say to her.

"Oh," I would say, "that's attractive."

She would probably reply with something better. Stupid bitch always had something to say.

Because Sawyer's body was so close to mine, I got big gulps of her scent in my nostrils whenever I would breathe in. Her aroma was strange. I didn't really know how to describe it. It was like a thick, sweet scent. Kind of like a flower of some sort. It was almost intoxicating. She was just reeking of flowers. Which is ironic because her sister's name is Fleur and she always smells like overrated perfume.

Contrary to most Slytherins, I don't like Fleur. Never really did. When I first met her I thought she was the hottest thing on the block, but after getting to know her, her goody-goody attitude got on my nerves. It's just not right for a Slytherin to be so nice. There must be something underneath all that fluff and smiles. Nott liked her, but he likes anything with breasts. Even though Nott's a complete pig, he's my best mate. Crabbe and Goyle have never been my friends. There more like servants that don't think for themselves. They're just giant lards with empty heads. Nott, on the other hand, is the most clever boy I know. He comes off as perverted and witty when underneath it all he carefully plans out every move he makes and every word he says. He can slither out of trouble more easily than my father, and that's saying something.

Nott and I have also known each other since we were young children. Our father's were best mates in school so naturally they expected us to become best buds. At first, I didn't like Nott. He was a gangly kid that always had something to say. He walked around like he owned the room and never obliged to anyone. That was one of the things I hated most about him, he was just like me.

We didn't start talking until fourth year. Nott talked to me because he was saying he had some brilliant scheme to get into the Triwizard Tournament. I thought he was balmy but everyone else thought he was brilliant. In the end, he didn't go through with it. He says it was because he didn't need the money and he had better things to do but I think it was because, after seeing Fred and George Weasley try to get in, no one wanted to attempt it. Who would? They were turned into old men!

The hospital wing is on the fourth floor and I'm on the seventh. I put Sawyer down to catch my breath for a minute. Even though she's light she's still dead weight. That makes her at least thirty pounds heavier than normal. I was hunched over on my knees and taking deep breaths. Once I regained my composure, I bent to pick her up again when someone stopped me.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Finnegan.

I turned around and there was Finnegan with his eyes the size of hippogriffs and a red face. I sighed, knowing he would jump to some stupid conclusion. They always do.

Though, considering the circumstances and she is his best friend, I don't blame him.

"Oh my God!" he said. He got on the floor and starting patting her face. "Sawyer? Sawyer!"

"She won't wake you idiot."

Finnegan gave me the meanest look id ever seen on him. I didn't know he could be so angry.

"What. Did. You. Do?!" he yelled the last word.

"I didn't do anything! One minute, Nott and I are laughing and the next, she passed out on the floor with drool hanging from her mouth!"

"I knew she should've eaten this morning!" he said to no one in particular. "How long has she been like this."

"Bout ten minutes. I was taking her to the hospital wing."

"I'll take her."

"Why should you?"

"I'm her best friend you prick! I should take her!"

"I was there! I made sure her head didn't hit the bloody floor!"

"Good for you! Your job is done, now leave!"

"Don't you tell me what to do Finnegan!"

"Don't just traipse in here like you're her savior Malfoy!"

"Her savior?!" I asked, outraged.

The nerve of him, thinking I wanted to help her!

"Yes! Her savior! Was I not clear?"

"You think I want to help her?" "If you didn't why would you be lugging her around school?"

My cheeks blushed. I'll never forgive my self for it. I don't even know why! Maybe it was the light or something.

"I'm taking her to the hospital wing so I can get out of class! I hate Divination!"

"That's pathetic! You just want the glory of being the hero don't you?"

That's good. I should've said that!"

"Of course you imbecile! What other interior motive could I have? You think I care if she wakes up?"

Well, that would suck.

Not that I care! It's just, Diggory's enough dead classmates for me. We don't want another one do we?

Finnegan gave me a questioning glance.

"Well? Don't just stand there! We'll both take her to the hospital wing so I get out of class and she gets the attention she needs! Win, win!"

Finnegan stood there for a minute, probably wondering if there was a downside to this.

"Fine." he said. "But I'm carrying her. I don't want you touching her."

"Good. She's kind of fat anyways."

Next thing I knew, I fist collided with my face. I put my hand to my cheek and I saw Finnegan with an angrier face than before.

"You'll shut your mouth Draco Malfoy!"

I stayed standing and watched Finnegan pick up Sawyer and walk off. I wanted to hit him back but I knew that Finnegan was just as tough as me. He has a good right hook and he can knock me out if he really wanted to. I saw Sawyer's head loll with her mouth still open. Even though I hate her, she's still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. It was kind of sad to see something so pretty be hurt. Like watching a unicorn in pain. I watched her limp arm fall to the side. She looked so frail and pathetic. Our previous encounters would light fires in me that I didn't know could be lit. I would be so angry with her and just want to… I've never been able to finish that sentence. I want to hurt her but at the same time I want to keep arguing. I want it to escalade to a new level. I want to see how far we can go.

A new feeling arose inside me. Things were tugging at my heart. I wanted to scream at Finnegan, "Pick up her head you idiot! She'll choke on her own saliva!" or "Pick up her arm! All the blood will rush to it!" He was pissing me off with how careless he was being.

That's a lie and you know it. Said the voice again. You know very well that Finnegan isn't careless.

I wandered back to class and couldn't get Sawyer's pathetic image out of my head.

Get used to it. I told myself. You're a death eater now. If she gets you all twisted up, how are you going to feel when you kill someone for the first time?

I'll know that feeling soon enough. I have to kill her uncle don't I?

A shiver ran down my spine.

If I don't…he'll kill me.

Flashes of victims ran through my mind. I'm not ready for this! I'm not a killer!

That doesn't matter! I have to be! I have no choice! Can't I just pity myself for five minutes?!

No! you're a Malfoy! Malfoys don't feel pity! Malfoys don't feel guilt! Malfoys don't feel love! Malfoys don't feel compassion!

THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO MALFOYS FEEL?!

My mind was silent. I didn't want to answer that question.

Emptiness.

Loneliness.

Pain.

Greed.

Regret.

How lovely it is to be a Malfoy. Why can't I be like a normal person?! Why can't everyone like me? Instead of Saint Potter! I hate him! I hate him so much!

Why do you hate him?

You know bloody well why I hate him!

Do you?

Yes! Because he's a good-for-nothing Gryffindor that thinks he can do anything he wants and is ALWAYS the hero! He can never leave things alone! He's brave to a fault!

Are you sure you're not just….jealous?

JEALOUS?! If there's ANYTHING Malfoy's don't feel it's JEALOUSY! How dare you tell me I'm jealous of him! Who do you think you are?!

I'm you, Draco.

Again, I was silent. There was no reply. I shoved my hands in my pockets and kicked the ground. I felt like a child. It's just not fair! Everyone loves Potter! Everyone respects Potter! Everyone thinks Potter's the best thing since Merlin!

Of course no one loves Malfoy. Who would? I wouldn't even love Malfoy! I treat everyone like dirt and expect things in return. A punch in the face is what they should give me in return. And I wonder why people love him more.

Dumbledore's in the same boat. No one likes her either.

She has Finnegan.

You have Nott.

Nott doesn't love me like Finnegan loves her.

Do you want him too?

Good point. No one understands her.

You don't understand her.

Exactly! We're both misunderstood teenagers that no one likes. We ought to just live under rocks where all the other outcasts live.

She deserves better than that.

Of course she does. Everyone deserves better than what I do.

Okay, I agree you're scum but you're self pity is getting annoying.

I'm surprised I let it go on this long.

I'm surprised you're talking to yourself.

At least it's not out loud.

"Yes it is." said a misty voice behind me.

I whipped my head around so fast that I hurt my neck. Luna Lovegood stood behind me with her ridiculous shiny glasses. Something about nargles of some stupid shit like that. The blood rushed to my cheeks as I sneered at her.

"What do you want Lovegood?" I spat. She seemed indifferent.

"I understand you Draco."

She must be the only person in this castle that calls me Draco.

"Please. You don't understand anything! You're deluded!"

"That's what you think." she said, walking closer to me. I backed up.

"Don't come closer Ravenclaw."

"You remembered my house!" she smiled as if it was a happy conversation.

"You're a well known freak, everyone knows your house."

"You'd be surprised."

"What do you want?!" I spat again.

"All I'm saying is that you aren't as mysterious as you think. I think you're rather transparent actually."

"Oh really? Is that what you think is it?" my eyes narrowed and I looked her up and down. Her blonde hair reminded me of Sawyer, of course hers isn't nearly as light. Sawyers hair is paler than mine, and mine is almost white! And it's not just pale blonde, she has hints of silver in there too. I've also noticed she has silvery blue eyes too. At first I thought she was just weird but then someone made fun of her and she punched them and said she was half veela. That was the first time I heard. My assumption was that she and her sister were just insanely beautiful. It never crossed my mind that they might be half veela. I didn't even know what a veela was at the time. Luna had no hint of fright in her eyes. She seemed positively delighted to be talking to me. A rarity I assure you. "No one cares what you think Lovegood."

"On the contrary Malfoy." she replied. "I think you'll care great deal about what I've had to say. It's a common misconception that I'm loony. It's not true. I'm quite clever. Why else would I be in Ravenclaw?"

Luna skipped away as if nothing happened, leaving me dumbfounded. I jus watched her blonde locks swish behind her and her feet hop up and down. She didn't even look back as she rounded the corner. I need to get to Divination before Nott grew worried so I decided to head over there quickly. I had no more conversations with myself for fear someone else would hear me. One embarrassing moment was enough for today.

I didn't bother trying to be discreet when I came to Divination. Everyone noticed me when I walked in but I neither noticed nor cared.

"Sorry professor." I said to Trelawney. "Dumbledore had an accident and-"

"WHAT?!" said most of the class.

"I meant Sawyer you imbeciles."

"No need to be rude Mr. Malfoy." said Trelawney. She's so painfully annoying. "Is Miss Dumbledore alright?"

"Yeah. Some fainting spell. Finnegan took her to the hospital wing."

"Oh, alright. That's fine I suppose. Find a partner Mister Malfoy, you will be reading tarot cars today."

"Joy." I said sarcastically. "I'm glad to see your enthusiasm!" said Trelawney. The sad part was that she thought I was serious.

I sat next to Nott who didn't have a partner. He didn't say anything. He didn't ask me any questions. Didn't even acknowledge that I had sat next to him.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" I asked him.

"No." he replied. "I'm not as interested as you would think."

"Don't you want to know if she's alive?"

"If she wasn't, you wouldn't be here."

The man was right. I'd never been able to argue with Nott. At least, I'd never been able to win.

"Well, if you must know-"

"I mustn't but I knew you'd tell me anyway."

"she's fine. I took her down but Finnegan saw me. He took her, but not before he hit me. Great brute. Thinks he can boss me around. He just up and grabbed her! Acted like I was the one who knocked her out!"

"Why are you so pissy about this? So what if he took her? Less questions to answer."

"It's the principle of it all."

"And what principle would that be Malfoy?" Nott asked, looking at me for the first time in the conversation. I was quiet. I just stared at the tarot cards, pretending to be interested. Nott held up a handful of cards and laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked, thoroughly pissed off. Nott continued to laugh, not answering me. "I asked you, what's so bloody funny?"

Nott put down the cards and stared at me. He shook his head and sighed.

"WHAT?!' I asked getting more frustrated by the moment.

He put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at it as if he were a leper.

"Oh Malfoy. You're so oblivious, even to yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Read the cards Malfoy!" he said pretending to be Trelawney. "The cosmos will tell you!"

"You're a git Nott."

"If I weren't, we wouldn't be friends."

"I don't know how I put up with you."

"The same way I put up with you."

I smirked but tried to hide it. If I smiled, Nott would know he won. He knew already but I would never admit that. I had too much pride. Sawyer had drifted from my mind and I focused on making fun of the assignment with Nott. She didn't re enter my mind until McGonagall came to me after class. Finnegan had told her that I found her first and she wanted to get to the bottom of why she passed out. She was fine now but she still wanted to know. I was halled down to the hospital wing for interrogation. They didn't need me. Finnegan was all they needed, but I went along anyway.

I would never admit it but, a part of me wanted to see how Sawyer was doing.

I would snuff that part of me and hang him tonight.