A/N: this is a work of fanfiction, I only own Thea.
Wallflower
By Leah Pensotti
Thea didn't sleep. She felt so conflicted by her feelings for both Rick and Daryl.
Daryl had left in the wee hours of the morning, they barely even touched the rest of the night and talked; that is before he left. Thea caught him by the wrist before his hand touched the doorknob and without hesitation, he pressed her against the entrance way wall.
His hands went to her face and he murmured, "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know..."
She Ihad never had this problem before. Quite frankly, she felt like the town slut. Women like her didn't have problems like this. At least, bookish wallflowers didn't have this problem when society existed...when the world wasn't so small.
Thea couldn't even look at him, "I'm sorry, Daryl."
She realized that both of them...the feelings for them were completely different but ended up the same. She and Daryl had something below surface...something in her recognized something in him and vice versa...like magnets.
Rick on the other hand...swooning and butterflies. He was the handsome alpha male...and she liked his duty to his family and the town...and his brotherhood with Daryl.
And therein lies the rub.
Daryl didn't let go of her, he pressed himself against her. It broke her heart that he was willing to walk away. For her, for Rick...to protect his own heart, thinking he would lose no matter what.
Some selfish, unknown part of her wanted him to try, to stick with her until she figured this all out. But what she knew is...there could really be no winners. This whole thing was destined to fail. She chose Rick...Daryl would lose his friend. She chose Daryl, maybe the same.
But she knew, better than anyone...that the real relationship was between Rick and Daryl; and she should just fade back into the background.
She was already way in over her head. Thea only knew about men what she read in books...she wouldn't deign to set out like this...not someone like her. It only took 90 percent of the world's population to die to make her more noticeable.
He tipped her chin up with his finger, just as he had done while she had sat on the kitchen counter. Daryl's hair was in his face again, almost completely covering his eyes, "Do I have half a chance?"
Thea nodded slowly, she thought so. Whatever this was it pulled her in to be the aggressor, it made her want to touch him and be near him.
"I, uh, think you do. Daryl...you feel this. It doesn't even need words. I only...I don't want you to be jealous and I definitely don't want you and Rick to...I'll talk to him. You talk to him. I can easily fade to the background if you both decide. You all are important. Everyone knows that."
Daryl shook his head, "It ain't gonna be easy ta ignore ya. I'm always gonna look out for ya."
Thea felt her heart drop, he was so incredibly sweet, "We'll figure it all out."
She said it aloud, hoping to make herself believe it. Daryl nodded and rested his head against hers. He leaned in and brushed his lips against her temple and murmured his good night.
Thea watched him walk out the door, her stomach in knots knowing she had no promises to make him, Rick...anyone.
She laid awake for hours amongst her books, thinking about Rick's intensity and Daryl's surprising gentleness. How each of them made her feel.
Mostly, she thought about what to say to Rick in a few hours. When she was supposed to bring the coffee. Thea tried to distract herself by reading and finishing "The Pillars of the Earth" and moving on to "Les Miserables."
Finally she got up to dress and make the coffee. She put her hair in a ponytail and went downstairs to brew enough to fill the thermos she had. There was neither hide nor hair of Denise, but she did grab some of the little oatcakes her friend liked to make every week.
The cookies that Carol had made were still on the counter.
Thea left as soon as the sky hinted at pink. She couldn't stay in the house much longer or the flashes of memory of the night prior would drive her mad. She walked to the gazebo without a book, but instead the thermos and the bag of baked treats.
When she got there, Rick was already there...bearded and handsome. He smiled when he saw her and the butterflies presented themselves again.
Along with some guilt. She was going to have to tell him.
"Good morning."
Thea sat down beside him and nodded, "Good morning. I brought the coffee and some of these little things Denise bakes. Good breakfast, something about complex carbs."
Rick took the thermos from her and placed a fat, purple and white violet on a short, thin stem in her hand. She immediately felt herself flush.
"There's not much by way of flowers...but I found this on the way. Thought you could press it in one of your books."
Thea swooned, it was a simple gesture, if not a little old fashioned...but it completely thrilled her, "Thank you."
Rick poured the plastic lid full of coffee and handed it to her, "Did you have a good night?"
Thea took a sip of the coffee, realizing she couldn't look at him, "Rick...I uh...saw Daryl last night."
He looked at her like he didn't quite understand, "Saw...like...like this?"
Rick pointed to her and back to him and she nodded, "I...uh...I'm actually fairly confused about all of this."
He shook his head, "He's my brother."
Thea agreed, "I know. It's why I'm telling you. I'm not going to lie...or use. I have feelings for the both of you."
Rick stood up, flashes of disconcertion on his face, "So what? You want the both of us? It doesn't work that way."
She sighed, "I know it doesn't. But I'm not laying claim to anything. Maybe you should talk to him and work it out. If it's not worth it...I'll go back to being wallpaper. I'm okay with it. I know how you and him feel about each other. I just don't want jealousy or heartbreak."
Rick was having a hard time processing exactly what Thea was saying. She had "seen" his best friend...his right hand...the night before.
What in the hell did that entail? Kissing...sex?
Although, he didn't think it was likely of the latter. Hell, he didn't think this was likely of Daryl at all. Thea was looking down at her hands, something he noticed she did...a lot. While he wasn't happy with the situation...he appreciated her honesty.
"Thea...I'm not sure what you are saying."
She shook her head, "I don't know what I'm saying either. I've never, ever thought anything like this would happen to me. I haven't dated anyone in ten years. I'm awful at this. But I can't lie."
Rick started to pace, and wanted to laugh that his prime objective this morning was to maybe get to second base, "So. This is it? Between us? You like him?"
Thea sighed, "I like you both. For different reasons...but the same overall feelings. It's a mess. I know."
Rick continued to pace, "Did you sleep with him?"
She looked like she had been backhanded, but ended up shaking it off, "No."
Another moment went by and she spoke up, "Maybe we all need to take a step back. There are a lot of feelings involved. I think you should talk to him. You all decide what it's worth."
She stood up, leaving the coffee and the baked goods on the bench. She still had the violet in her hand, "I, uh, guess I'll go on. I'll be around if anyone wants to talk."
Rick caught her by the waist before she could walk away, "Wait...just wait."
He didn't know what to say, he only knew that he was drawn to her. He liked her determination and the hidden strength. He liked her honesty. He liked the way she carried books around and didn't make fusses. He liked her gray eyes and the way she felt against him.
He wasn't ready to give up just yet.
"Say I talk to Daryl. What's the best thing that can happen?"
Thea shrugged, "We all go on. No jealousy. All honesty. We feel this out...figure it out. Whatever happens there's no hard feelings."
"Even if you may end up with neither of us?"
She nodded, "I'm used to being alone, Rick. I have survived a lot more than just that."
He couldn't help but smile, there was a lot to what she said, "I mean, we can talk. If he'll listen."
Thea smirked, that knowing little half smile, "I think he will try to. It's uncharted territory for sure...for all of us."
He couldn't help himself and leaned in to kiss her. She looked tousled and pretty and her lips were slightly parted. He didn't like that she thought of herself as wall paper, she was so much more than just a background player.
Thea's hands traveled to his hair, her fingers twisting in it. The kiss was different from the times before...there was heat and ferocity; and he knew that everything she said was true.
And Rick had to admit to himself; he wanted her...badly...and she wanted him, too.
Thea groaned a little with pleasure when he kissed her ear and continued down her neck, just fueling him even more. He wanted to take her into the nearest house and satisfy his curiosities about what she looked like out of her clothes and if he could make her moan his name.
"Rick..."
He kissed her lips again, "Yeah?"
"I should probably go before...we get carried away..."
He sighed, she was probably right. She chuckled lowly and they parted, "If you talk to Daryl and if you all come to...terms or a conclusion...however you want to say it...you all know where to find me."
Rick tried to settle down, she had riled him up pretty good. He took a deep breath and nodded while he put his hands on his hips, "Yeah."
Thea nodded towards the coffee and the mini muffins, "Enjoy breakfast. I'll see you around?"
He nodded and watched as she walked away, the little hobble in her step barely visible; but he noticed. Now that he saw her, he saw all of her.
Rick sat at the gazebo and thought about what to say to his best friend, and now in some way...his rival. He never thought something would happen like this. The only women Daryl had ever allowed himself to be open to were Carol and Beth Greene. His friend had changed after the latter's death at Grady Memorial, and Rick had often wondered what it all had meant for Daryl.
Daryl Dixon had always been gruff...and a loner. He'd never shown that much interest in anyone before; and he was surprised about Thea.
The whole thing was surprising.
After he finished the coffee, Rick took the food and the thermos back to his home. He was running through the options of what to say to Daryl and realized he didn't have quite as much time as he thought, because Daryl was sitting on his front porch looking anxious.
The kids were at Carol's house, so Rick solemnly waved him in without speaking. When they got to the kitchen, Rick put the thermos in the sink and waited for Daryl to say something...but he didn't.
Rick turned around and put his hands on his hips, "I know why you're here."
Daryl just nodded, "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
His friend crossed his arms over his chest, "What're ya thinkin'?"
Rick sighed, "That I don't like sharing."
"Me either."
"That being said, I'm not going to stay away from her...but I don't want to lose you. You're my family, Daryl. My best soldier."
Daryl shook his head, "I don't want ta stay away from her either."
Rick paced, "If we continue, do you think it's possible we can spend time with her separately...no judgement, no sabotage, no jealousy. See how it plays out?"
"Rick, I ain't felt like this before. I don't know what I'm gonna do. But ya know me. I'm gonna be protective...of her...and ya."
He smiled, knowing Daryl meant it, "She said...that if we weren't okay, she'd move to the background. So if you and me can't come to an agreement...I say we stop it all...right now."
Daryl shrugged, "I don't see myself not trying. I care about her."
Rick knew the feeling, "I think we should spend time with her. Feel it out like she says. If either one of us wants to walk away, so be it. But we don't hinder each other...and let her choose."
"The best man wins sorta thing."
Rick nodded. Thea hadn't lied about the uncharted territory. This was about the weirdest conversation he'd ever had.
Thea was moving pretty slow by the time she got to Rosita's. Eugene let her in, remarking that it was the first time he's ever seen her without a book.
Rosita was in the kitchen wearing a pink bathrobe, "I thought I might see you. Tara told me that she and Denise were talking about moving in together at the clinic. Thought you'd want to talk."
Thea nodded, yes, that was something that was currently happening in her world. But it wasn't the most troublesome, "Yeah...I do need to talk. But it's something more...crazy."
Rosita's eyebrow arched in curiosity, "Let's go in the backyard. I'll bring the coffee."
They sat at the patio furniture away from the ears of Eugene or Abraham and Thea told Rosita the whole story.
Rosita looked floored, "I've got to give it to you, T. That's...crazy. I didn't think you'd have something like that in you."
She nodded, she didn't think she'd have something like that in herself, "Yeah. I feel like a slut."
Rosita shook her head, "Don't let that rule you. You were incredibly honest. That's empowering. You know what you want...well, not completely...but you were honest about that, too. Sluts don't care about feelings, or friendship or loyalty. Besides...ball's in their court, right?"
Thea nodded, there was some truth in all of that. Rosita looked curious and leaned forward with a sly smile, "How's the kissing? I can't imagine Daryl kissing anyone."
She smiled, remembering how he touched her, "Um...well. They're different. Rick is exciting and Daryl is really gentle. I can't believe I'm having this conversation..."
After coffee with Rosita, Thea stopped in to say hello to Denise at the clinic. Tara was with her and it felt more and more evident that they would be living together there. She couldn't blame Denise, Tara was cute and funny and she also understood the weight of time. With the world the way it was...relationships went quickly when folks coupled up.
Here she was, trying to make sense of her feelings when others were throwing caution to the wind and going with their guts.
Thea's gut was obviously confused...just like her mind was.
After dropping in at the clinic, Thea walked back to her house. When she approached, she saw a familiar figure on her front step. It was Daryl.
He looked tired, maybe even a little hesitant to be there. Daryl looked up when Thea approached and stood up quickly. She nodded and smiled, "I didn't think I'd see you so soon."
Daryl shrugged, "Didn't sleep. But I just got done talking to Rick."
Thea felt her eyes go wide, "Come inside. Let's talk."
She walked up the steps carefully and he followed her. Neither of them talked until they got indoors. She leaned against the marble counter and asked, "So...how did it go?"
He shrugged, "We talked a bit. Decided neither of us was gonna stand in the other's way. That we'd let ya choose...Rick and I...we're family, Thea."
She nodded, "I know. I appreciate that about you two. Want something to drink?"
Daryl nodded and she filled a glass with water. When she turned around, Daryl was right in front of her, an unreadable expression on his face.
"How do we do this...Thea?"
Thea handed him the glass and she thought for a moment, "I actually don't know. I guess we talk. Get to know each other. See if this is...worthwhile."
He set the glass down beside her on the counter and he stepped a little closer, "I get jealous quick. I don't wanna know about...anything ya do with him. When it's us...I want it just to be us."
Thea nodded, it seemed reasonable...considering the situation.
Daryl's hands went quickly to her face, "I wanna know...'bout the man who hurt you. I wanna know about the surgeries."
Thea turned the idea over in her mind and realize she'd already told him the whole story...why not flesh it out, "Okay...five years ago, there was this man who'd come into the store. He used to buy books from me weekly. I loved talking about books. I was enthusiastic. After a few months, he asked me out and I declined nicely. He waited for me in the parking lot to close up shop. He beat me within an inch of my life. My manager found me in the parking lot the next morning. He had left me for dead, but I was too stupid to die. Instead I lived. I had reconstructive surgeries, corrective surgeries...I ended up having to have a hysterectomy. I was only 29. I had to relearn everything...different ways to do things because I physically couldn't do them the way I used to. I became more shut off, and had to endure the trial. They ended up giving him twenty five years for everything. He had always beat up women...just not total strangers like me."
Outside of police, lawyers, doctors and people in the courtroom, Thea had never told anyone at length about it. It was still a lot to process...five years and another world later.
She saw one of Daryl's hands drop and ball up into a fist at his side. The other hand stayed at her cheek. Daryl shrugged, "He's prolly dead now. Ya outlasted. Survived."
"Took a whole lot of work...but yeah."
Daryl's other hand dropped, and he leaned his lower back on the island. They were standing toe to toe with him, "So. Whatcha wanna do now?"
Thea smiled, she could think of a million physical things she'd like to cash in on if he was game. But she thought it would be wiser to slow everything down...especially now with Rick and Daryl's arrangement...and get to know both of them.
"Maybe go for a walk? Talk...then see what happens?"
Daryl gave her a short nod, "Okay."
Before she turned and left the house, Thea remembered the withered violet in her pocket. She pulled it out gently and arranged it between the pages of "Les Miserables" to flatten and dry. She shook her head with the realization that she had put Rick's flower in Daryl's book.
With a deep breath, Thea turned and headed out with Daryl into the bright sunshine, hoping to get to know each other a little more.
a/n: hey my loves. Thank you all so much for the reads, faves, follows and inputs for this story and the last chapter. I'm super worried for Daryl on the show. I don't know if I can continue watching. I don't think Rick without Daryl would work for me.
Luckily, I'm a fan fiction writer lol.
Next up: Daryl takes Thea for a walk. Thea spends time with Rick. Boundaries get pushed.
Super special shout outs to: Angelicedg, CLTex, enchantmentanjel (I'm not sure about Negan, but may have to), Miss Teller-Ortiz-Dixon, TheFaceOfAlison, S the Sky Pirate (aw thank you! That's all just such high praise ;), Guest and Hawkgirl!
If you are so inclined, I have two other ongoing fics, both AU's. One is a newborn Daryl fic called "The Redhead and the Redneck" and a Rick fic called "Simple Twists of Fate." I hope you guys will check them out :)
Thanks and Love,
Leah P!
xoxo