Disclaimer: Ugh. There's not like... even a point to my disclaimers. I've said like... every way in which I don't own this. I don't even care anymore. I'm going home.

Tori

"I... I didn't know who else to turn to, and you're the last person I'd come to, but... I don't know what else to do. You know her better than anyone." You take a deep breath, closing your eyes. "I just... don't know what else to do."

"Tori, what are you talking about?"

You open your eyes, sighing. "Why am I doing this?"

Jade crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, why are you?"

You're not sure. You just... you need to talk about this, and Jade is the last person you'd expect to listen. Anyone would've been better, anyone at all, but Jade was the only one you could find, and you can't keep this inside, you just... you have to get it out, you have to know what to do. "Cat and I... she... I..."

Jade let out a frustrated breath. "What is it? Spill it or stop annoying me."

You fight down the surge of irritation Jade inspires in you almost everytime she talks to you. You're sure the feeling is mutual, but she's actually listening, which is more than you expected from her. You just... you have to get it out. "Cat and I kissed."

Jade blinks at you, her face blank. She uncrosses her arms, her eyes widening a little. "What?" She tilts her head like she's not sure she heard you right.

"Y-yesterday, Cat... she kissed me. A-and then today I," You bite your lip, remembering, "I kissed her."

Jade blinks at you again, leaning forward. "Cat and you what?"

"Please don't make me say it again."

Jade blinks at you again, and you're starting to wonder if that's all she can do. And then she starts to laugh. And laugh, and laugh, and you're left sitting there, waiting for her to stop and feeling like an idiot. She's almost crying by the time she calms down, wiping her eyes carefully, trying not to smear her eyeliner.

You're pretty annoyed at this point... maybe you should've waited... hell, maybe you should've just grabbed some random kid. Anyone would've been better than Jade. "Oh, you're done? You're sure?"

Jade smiles at you. "Thanks Tori. That's the funniest thing I've heard since you fell down those stairs."

You stare at her. "You pushed me!"

She shrugs. "Anyway, what's the big deal?"

"I got a bruise on my thigh!"

Jade rolls her eyes. "About Cat."

You blink at her this time. You'd... you'd almost forgotten about that for a moment. That... that Cat was a problem, that things were different. "Cat likes me..." You look around, lowering your voice, the halls empty. "That way." You whisper, leaning in conspiratorially.

Jade leans back against her locker. "And?"

You look around again, this time looking for anyone, anyone at all who isn't Jade. Even a mouse would be better at this point. At least mice can't laugh at you. "'And'? I don't like Cat that way!"

Jade frowns, raising an eyebrow at you, piercing glinting. "Then why'd you kiss her?"

You lick your lips... you can almost still taste... no, no no no. No you can't. No. "I... I don't know. But I don't... I... I can't."

Jade's eyes narrow. "You can't? Why can't you?"

"B-because... because-"

"Because she's Cat or because she's a girl?"

You're not sure. The way Jade puts it... it makes you sound so stupid, but she has a knack for making you sound that way... or maybe she just points it out. It's... it can't be Cat because she's Cat. You love Cat, you do. But... if it's because she's a girl, then... you don't have a problem with gay people. This is Hollywood. You... you're not sure. "I... I don't know. I just can't."

Jade rolls her eyes. "Tori. You're an idiot."

You shake your head, snapping out of your thoughts... why can't you like Cat? "What?"

"Look, I'm done with this." Jade pushes herself off her locker, brushing past you. She stops, hesitating. "Just... don't hurt Cat. You do not want to hurt her, got it?"

You swallow hard. She's using her I'll-hurt-you-if-you-do tone, and... it' a very convincing tone. Not that you would want to hurt Cat, god no. So why can't you like her? Why can't you even consider it? Why are you so scared by it? Cat's the best friend you've ever had, the only real person who's called themselves your best friend. You... what if you lose that? What are you going to do?

You lean back against the lockers, stunned. Are... are you so scared to like Cat because you don't want to lose her as your friend? Because if you're in a relationship with her, things will change, things will go wrong? Jade was right, you are an idiot. You kissed Cat, and... it felt right while you were doing it, it felt good. It didn't feel like a mistake. It was only afterwards, when your brain kicked in, when it whispered all the things that could go wrong, all the things you couldn't do. It's so much easier to be friends, there's so much less damage you can do, so much less attention you have to pay. But is it worth missing out on what you could have with Cat, just to have a friend? What if... what if things could be great with Cat?

Cat. She... she said she didn't like you that way... but it's Cat. Dammit, how are you supposed to know? What if... what if she really doesn't? You were so sure before, but then... you were so sure you didn't like her as well. What if you put yourself out there, say... say that you feel that way about her, and she's the one to reject you? What if you lose her anyway? Can you really take that risk? She's the first real friend you've ever had, the first... no. She's... she's not the first friend. Andre's your friend, Beck's your friend, even Jade is your friend... sometimes. Cat isn't the first friend you've had, she's just the first person you've... you've felt this much for. You've never felt this much for someone, and... you thought it was friendship, that it was real friendship, that it was how best friends feel, and... maybe a part of it is that, maybe that's how it started, maybe that's still part of what it is, but you don't know, you just don't know and you're so confused you just wish... you just wish you'd never kissed her, that she'd never kissed you and she didn't exist. For an actress, you really can't handle drama. That's always been Trina's forte, and you just... what do you do? Normally you'd talk to Cat. She isn't much help, but she listens. Like, really listens, her eyes wide and her hands folded in her lap, like what you're saying is the most important thing in the world.

Your heart thuds hard in your chest, just at the thought of how Cat looks at you. Like you're you, and that's important. That's special. How can you lose that? How can you risk it? But you remember how good it felt to kiss her, how your heart raced and your palms sweated. How she looked at you afterwards, with awe and confusion and... and something else. Something that scared you a little. Maybe you should've just went along with Cat, pretended nothing ever happened. Maybe that would've been the smart thing to do. Then none of this would've happened.

You put your head in your hands, fingers tangling in the brunette locks. What are you doing? What you going to do? You don't want to talk to Cat, you really, really don't. You don't know if you could see her, but... the longer you leave this, the worse it's going to get. You... you can't. No. You just can't. You can't go to class and see her. Can't take that awkwardness. It's already happening, things are already changing, and you hate it. You just... you need to be alone, you need to stop thinking. You feel like you're tearing in two, because whatever you do, it's not going to be easy, whatever you do, something's gonna change.

A/N: Please to review. I know I always ask, but... I'm consistent at least ^-^

Hopefully some of this doubt, this angst is relatable to you guys. Hopefully, it strikes a chord in you. A pretty chord, not the one that's really low and then you jump but then it's just a cat, so it's okay, it wasn't a killer in that movie but then OMG it IS. RUN LADY RUN.

What.

Uh... so... review... o_0;