The first part of this chapter was based on an idea Serinity Shadowtar kindly gave me in a PM. The rest is of my own manipulation of Cassandra Clare's remarkable characters who belong to her and not me. Sadly...

Sorry it's such a late update. Tell me what you think!

"You Don't Know Me"

Jace

I snap my phone shut without listening to the message just in time for the number to call again. This time I answer.

"Clary? How did you get this number?" I demand as anger and confusion swirl around in my mind. How did she get my number? Why is she calling me? Why is she taunting me in this way too? I'll destroy her. I destroy everything.

"I got it from Max." She answers.

"Why would Max give you my number?" I question feeling my insides curl.

"He almost got hit by a car crossing the street so I had him stay in the book store on Third Street. We're here right now. I just didn't think he was old enough to walk so far by himself. He said he didn't know where you were so he wanted to surprise you with how grown up he was by meeting you at the house. Sorry if this is normal but it didn't seem safe to me." Clary says.

"Thank you." I say before I can stop myself. Then I hang up the phone and speed the whole way to the book store.

My thoughts are frayed, split into fragments as I try to piece together the situation.

Max...Failure...Destroy...Die...Baby brother...Nearly lost...Love destroys...I destroy...Clary. Saved...Brother...Max...Alive...Angel...Miracle... Warning...

I burst into the store and see Max sitting at the counter in the cafe portion of the bookstore where people buy coffee and pastries. He's just sitting there with a book in his lap. Relief hits me like a tidal wave that nearly knocks me off mydefeat and makes my head spin. I see Clary standing behind the counter making coffee. It takes every ounce of self-control I have to prevent myself from running to Max and pulling the kid into my arms. This is all my fault. What if he died because I wasn't there to take him home? This is all my fault. He's safe though. He's okay. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

"Hey Max." I say when I get to him.

Max looks up at me and smiles. "Hey Jace. Look what Clary bought me!" He holds up his book. It's one of those Mangas he's crazy about.

I glance at Clary to see her smile at Max.

"Clary saved me from getting hit by a truck." Max says. "It was one of those big Pepsi ones."

My heart stops and my brain shorts.

"What?" I ask quietly.

"I was crossing the street but I forgot to look both ways and a big Pepsi truck was coming towards me but Clary pulled me out of the way." Max repeats.

Oh. Clary saved Max. Max could've died. None of this is computing.

"Then she brought me here so we could wait for you." Max adds.

I stare at Clary, unable to move, barely able to think. This girl risked her life for a kid who she didn't know. She saved Max.

I feel as though I should thank her but I don't know how. My tongue feels as though it's made of lead and my brain is functioning at a very pathetic rate.

"Can we go home?" Max asks me.

I nod but continue to stare at Clary who is blushing because I've been staring at her for so long.

"Okay, you can look away now." Clary says awkwardly.

I look down, feeling embarrassed.

"Jace, are you coming?" Max asks, tugging on my hand. I walk with Max towards the exit.

"Be careful crossing those streets you two!" Clary calls after us in a friendly tone that mocks me, stabbing me in the chest with a spike made of guilt.

-(Thank you Serinity Shadowstar)-

Max and I get in my car and we drive home. The entire way home Max chatters away about Clary and how nice she is and funny and I should date her because she's just so great. The information over-load is enough to make my brain feel like a nuclear bomb about to be set off any second. Finally we arrive at the Lightwood house and Max jumps out of the car, running into the house. I follow him and the scent of mixed spices anthreat of sorts fills my nose which means that Isabelle is home which also means I should've ordered take-out.

"Hi Izzy. What are ya makin'?" Max asks.

"Hey Max, I'm making stew." Isabelle replies.

"Yeah, you can't mess stew up." I quip as I walk over to the fridge.

"Don't be a jerk." She says as I open the fridge door and examine its contents.

"That's a lot to ask, I'll have to think about it." I respond.

Even though I'm not looking, I'm positive Isabelle is rolling her eyes at me right now. She's one of the few people my "charm" doesn't always work on. It's rather disappointing.

Isabelle and Max begin talking about their days and Max mentions nearly getting crushed by a Pepsi truck and how Clary saved him.

"You nearly got hit by a car?" She shrieks.

"Not a car, a big Pepsi truck." Max corrects.

The door fridge is slammed in my face and I see black dots for a second before I recover and stand up straight.

"What was that for?" I demand, acting like I don't already know that it was because my negligence nearly cost Max his life.

"Where were you?" Isabelle yells.

"Detention." I answer, preferring to say the thing that makes me look the worst.

"What did you do?"

"What I always do; I talked. The teacher just didn't care for what I had to say."

Isabelle glares at me and I'm sure she's contemplating how rewarding punching me in the face would be. I've been musing over similar things the whole way to the house.

"Max, please go to your room." Isabelle says.

Max runs out of the room, clearly glad to be out of the line of fire.

"You need to get it together Jace, you're doing horrible in school, you're constantly tardy, disrespectful and disobedient. My parents didn't take you in so you could screw your life up. They were trying to help you. The problem is, you won't help yourself." She says in an accusatory tone, giving me a look I definitely deserve.

Instead of attempting to admit to the logic in her arguement, I glare at the snobbish girl in front of me. What does she know? We're not actual siblings. What gives her the right to speak to me this way?

"What?" Isabelle demands.

"You have no right to talk to me as if I'm just a disobedient child in need of scolding. I am not your brother. You don't know me so don't act like you do because all it does is make you look very stupid Isabelle." I say in a low voice.

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Did you just call me stupid?" She questions, not understanding anything I just said.

"I didn't have to." I say as I walk upstairs.

I walk into the room the Lightwoods allow me to sleep in, walk straight to the window and punch it. My hand goes straight through it as the glass shatters, the sound reverberates around the room as glass falls to my feet and pain spikes up my arm. When I look at my hand, I see that it's full of glass and blood is dripping off my fingertips onto the floor. For just a moment, the only sound is the steady "drip...drip...drip" of the blood splashing quietly onto the floor. In the moment of near silence, the pain I felt earlier lessens because the pain pulsing up and down my hand whenever I try to move it nearly outdoes it. Nearly, but not quite. It doesn't quite block out the guilt and terror I've felt since I woke up in the nurse's offictishis afternoon. My head feels ready to explode and the enormous guilt of what could've happened to Max this afternoon weighs down on me, nearly crushing me as it brings me to my knees. I fall to my knees, landing on the glass. It's nothing in comparison to what I'm feeling right now, I barely notice the pain on the glass cutting through my skin. I nearly caused another death todaym another person I-dare I say it-love-was almost destroyed today.

A gentle hand on my shoulder shocks my out of my reverie. Turning, I see Isabelle looking down at me, her brown eyesaware andfull of an offering of comfort I don't deserve to take. So I don't. She looks at me the way she looks at Alec or Max when they're upset. Like I'm her brother who she wants to make help feel better.

"Let's get you cleaned up." She says in a voice so gentle it would shock the entire population of our high school. She keeps up a facade too.

Izzy grabs my uninjured arm and pulls me to my feet. She has me sit on the floor away from the glass, saying something about getting one of the maids to clean it up after she's patched me up. Then she begins rummaging through a first aid kit I didn't know she had in her possession.

"Where's Max?" I ask, my voice is weak and for some reason it's hard to speak past the lump that's growing in my throat. It's getting hard to see with my eyes getting pricked ith sharp icicles that seem to melt as soon as they touch them. Max can't see me like this. He might feel sorry for me. I don't need pity.

"I asked him to go to his room to do homework. He's probably reading that new Manag Clary gave him though." Izzy being sure to mention Clary in a subtle way. Great, we have to talk about her now.

Izzy waits for me to say something but when I don't she continues. "Clary's single and really nice. That guy she talks to is her best friend. She sees him as nothing more than that."

I don't acknowledge her statements or what she's her adds to the guilt but I can't listen to someone else talk about how great Clary is; I already know. She's my ultimate temptation and will likely be my undoing. I know I'll destroy her but sometimes I'm okay with that. I just want to be with her. That's not right.

Izzy wants me to say something. I know because she's staring at me, her brown eyes searching for my soul. She wants me to confide in her now, spill my guts to her, tell her how crappy Max nearly dying makes me feel, and maybeeven sob pitifully into her arms. It won't happen. She looks away and finishes working on my hand.

"You can talk to me if you want to. Jace, you don't have to be strong all the time." She tells me. Izzy studies me, waiting a minute or two in case I decide to respond. Finally, I just look down.

When I look up again, she's gone and guilt nearly overwhelms me. I get up, sit on the bed and then lay on my back. I'm not strong. I'm weak. That's what makes this so hard, keeping it all inside. That's why I struggle to control myself around Clary. That's why I almost told Izzy about everything. That's why I act so mad at Izzy and Alec too sometimes, because they could get to me if I let them, because they could make me care about them. They could make metake that plunge instead of teetering on the edge of love. Even though they're like siblings to me, the closest things I have to family aside from Max, I can't care, I can't let them in. "To love is to destroy." I'm tired of being a catalyst of destruction.