Though things were better, late at night when Kurt couldn't sleep he'd think about the baby and tremble in fear of being stuck in Lima forever with a baby and a woman that he was quickly losing all sexual attraction to despite her actually acting like a girlfriend now. The worst would be knowing that all his friends would have a chance at escape, to do something with their lives. Especially Blaine.

[19 Weeks Into Pregnancy]

"Oh, oh, fuck right there, keep there, oh!" Santana panted as Kurt's thrusts became shorter and rougher. Kurt's hand had moved to rest on her shoulders when she had flipped herself over halfway through coitus. She claimed that she liked the angle better, but this was another instance where Kurt wished he could just see her face. Santana's body arched up and her fingers flew to her clit to rub at it while her orgasm crashed down on her and she bucked back hard on Kurt's member.

Sweat rolled down Kurt's back as he tried desperately to cum as well. He usually knew when he would finally release, and he was angry that the feeling in the back of his balls had not crept up even once in the fifteen minutes they had been having sex. He was trying so hard to cum for Santana, only Santana. But he knew it wasn't going to happen and if he didn't release soon, San would realize something was wrong. He cursed his male body for not being able to physically fake an orgasm.

He gave up and let his mind wander to whatever could allow him to achieve orgasm. His thoughts jumped to a girl he had sex with years ago and was still the best woman he had ever had sex with...only in the sex department. This gave him a few sensations towards building an orgasm as he collected his memories of the skilled and hair raising technique she had used when she had given him a blow job. As he got lost in the recollection, he didn't realize that he was subconsciously changing her features. He wasn't sure what he was changing, but once the woman in his fantasy looked up with big brown-green hazel eyes, he forced himself to reach his orgasm before he could dwell on details.

"There you go," Santana breathed, bringing him back down to Earth.

It ended quickly and once he was sure that he body was not releasing any more, he pulled out slowly and walked to the bathroom to remove the condom.

Santana laid on the bed, pulling the sheets up to cover herself. Her bump showed slightly through the thin blankets and she rubbed her belly absent-mindedly while Kurt took off the rubber.

She cocked her head at him and patted the area on the bed next to her as an invitation. Kurt crawled from the foot of the bed up to her and collapsed on his mattress, utterly spent. In the past he was never this exhausted after sex, but lately it took so much energy just to will himself to cum. He was also unhappy because even when he did achieve orgasm, it was quick and unsatisfying.

"You know, you don't have to use a condom anymore for the time being. I'm already knocked up so we have a few months to bareback."

Kurt shifted next to her and awkwardly cuddled her to his naked body. "It's easier clean up." Secretly though, Kurt had never gone unprotected with anyone before and it didn't feel right for his first time without any barriers to be with someone who he knew would never really hold his heart. He pushed those thoughts out of his head for the moment. "San, can I ask you something?'

"That time with Brittany was a mistake."

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

Santana clamped her mouth shut momentarily, then answered, "Oh, nothing then. Go on."

Kurt shook his head as if ridding himself of her random outburst. "How do you feel when you cum?"

Santana looked up at him. "Awesome. I'm so horny all the time with all this extra blood pumping through me, I'm ready to hump the nearest pole at the drop of a hat...but I guess you'll do for now." She smiled and leaned up to kiss his chin. It would have been flirty and cute, but both couldn't help the awkwardness that still permeated their entire relationship.

"Santana, what are you going to do with this baby?"

Santana's hands dropped to her stomach. "Honestly, I want to know who the baby daddy is before I make that decision. But I have been thinking about adoption. I looked up some places and there is a foundation called the Gift of Life. It's an adoption agency and the reviews are glowing. The couple has to make a Family Book or something, it's a portfolio thing so we get to pick them. And they offer open adoption services."

"What's an open adoption mean?"

"It means that even after the baby is born, depending on how you set it up with the parents, you can still keep in contact with your child. I read this one story of a teen pregnancy and she actually became good friends with the gay couple that adopted her kid! She gets to see her child like, every 3 months! I think I could really like that."

Kurt's phone vibrated beside him and he reached for it, hoping for a moment it was Blaine. Instead, it was a text message reminder of his and Santana's Ultra Sound appointment the following day.

Looking at the text, she asked, "Kurt have you told your dad about any of this?"

He bit his lip, then put his phone away before answering. "I want to wait till we're sure. I mean, I think he has guessed that something is going on from the increasingly bigger coats you wear every time you enter my house, but I'm sure he's waiting for me to tell him. I'm afraid for his heart truthfully. If I tell him I got you knocked up and then learn that I really didn't, it's not worth the impending heart attack."

"I understand." She kissed his cheek. "Hopefully we'll know for sure in another 6 weeks. I already set up the appointment. Um, I'd hate to ask, but do you have the money for that yet?"

"Yeah I do." Kurt had always been fortunate when it came to money due to his father's generous payments to him when he worked in the shop. Though Kurt had to cut back altogether on his frequent mall and TJ Maxx trips, he was able to flip the bills without his father being any wiser.

"Thank you, Kurt," she said, the sincerity ringing in her tone.

::Im so nervous:: Kurt

::Y? Its just an ob test:: Blaine

::I know, but like what if the baby is deformed or malnourished or something1!::Kurt

::It's just starting to really take a toll on me, this whole not knowing if Im even the father thingg:: Kurt

::Just a little while lponger. I know its easy to sayfrom my end, but its only a few more weeks. Stay strong bud:: Blaine

::Courage:: Blaine

Kurt held his phone to his chest as Santana pulled into the OB office. Though Kurt felt it inappropriate, Santana insisted on driving because "even though I'm pregnant I'm not fucking inept."

::You still driving up today?:: Blaine

Kurt's heart skipped a beat and his day felt brighter at the promise of he and Blaine spending the afternoon and night together after this fated Ultra Sound. They had already worked it out with their parents that Kurt would spend the night at Blaine's house because of the long weekend despite him living hours away.

::Yep! :) See you soon! Gotta go!::Kurt

::Tell San I say good luck!:: Blaine

The OB smoothed the light blue gel over Santana's stomach with the ultra sound probe.

"So how is your pregnancy going?" the woman asked, the same young, yet motherly woman from their first early visit. "Since last time I saw you I mean."

Santana gave a genuine smile to the woman. "Everything has been much better. I assure you I haven't had any alcohol and I've been keeping up with my multivitamins."

"Perfect!" She squinted. "Okay, I have sight of the baby, let me just get it in the right place so you can see too. Everything seems normal so far. It's a large baby!" She laughed. "All of the limbs seem at the right point of development, head is a good size. I'm not sure just yet of the sex of the child, but I could make an educated guess if you want it."

"No," Santana said before Kurt could even figure out if he wanted to know the gender or not.

"Okay." A few more moments of silence and then she said, "Have you two thought of possible names yet?"

The couple exchanged a look. Santana spoke first. "We want to be sure of who the father is before we begin choosing names."

The technician blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry. How long until you know?"

"I'll be able to get a DNA test at 25 weeks, so about 5 more weeks."

The OB raised an eyebrow. "Really? Have you ever heard of Amniocentesis? Since you're at 20 weeks, you can get a paternity test now. Just get an appointment and the doctor just has to insert a needle through the amniotic sac and draw out a small amount of the amniotic fluid. You can get your results within a couple days. And I'm sure it's cheaper because you want to get a DNA test when you need a paternity test which is relatively cheaper and more suited to what you want."

Santana lit up. "That's amazing!"

The woman looked back at the screen. "I'll help you set up an appointment after this. Want to see your baby?"

Kurt stared hard at the screen while Santana gasped beside him. The technician moved the probe a bit to the side and suddenly the baby was easily seen in the rounded screen. Kurt's heart stopped in his chest and he almost couldn't believe that this fetus was technically residing beside him within the womb of Santana. Kurt felt something in his stomach and he knew it was his. There was no way to explain it, but the child was his. A tear came to his eye and his future flashed behind his eyes, trapped in Lima with Santana, raising this child.

In the blurry blue and gray screen, his future was spelled out for him.

As Kurt pulled into the Anderson driveway just as an SUV sped out of the driveway kicking up loose pieces of gravel and sending them towards Kurt's car.

Kurt parked haphazardly when he saw Blaine burst out from the front door, trying to lock his front door while tears flowed freely down his face.

"Blaine!"

Said boy whipped around and covered his eyes with his sleeve. "Kurt, I'm sorry, I can't tonight, I know you drove out but I-I just-"
Kurt forced him into a hug and Blaine clutched onto Kurt's sleeve, their bodies somehow fitting together perfectly on Blaine's front step.
"I tried to break up with her! She said I was being rash and she just wouldn't let me explain! I just can't stand her anymore and she refuses to accept that I just don't love her anymore! How do I break up with someone who won't let you do it? I just want to be myself and she's preventing me from w-what I want!"

Blaine shook then wrenched himself from Kurt, bounding towards his car.

"Where are you going? I can't let you drive like this," Kurt said calmly.

"You won't want to come with me," Blaine said, staring at his reflection on the windshield as Kurt came over and swiped his keys. Blaine, defeated from knowing that Kurt would be persistent, walked over to the passenger side. Blaine sniffled, the anger flowing out of him. "Take a left out of the driveway."

Kurt drove around the deserted parking lot, trying to hold off having to go inside just yet. He finally picked somewhere far off from the building, then nervously fiddled with the keys as Blaine walked ahead of him.

"You don't have to come in if you don't want to," Blaine said, but with open, pleading eyes that said otherwise.

Kurt plastered a smile on. "I really thought that when you said 'house of worship,' you meant a strip club."

The single large bell loomed high above the tall white building and he begged for it not to chime. His palms were instantly sweaty and his eyes darted around.

Blaine noticed Kurt's discomfort even though they were still only at the steps that were in desperate need of repair despite the patchwork concrete fills peppered across the entrance.

"Seriously though. I remember you telling me you were an atheist. If you don't feel comfortable, you can go in the car. I know you don't believe in God I-"

"It's not that I don't believe in a God. It's just. It's the church itself. This one is much different from the one I used to go to, but my mind is making it seem the same as the day when...uh."

Blaine pieced together Kurt's thoughts quickly. "When your mom died?"

"Yeah."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand without hesitation and they made their way into the church, Kurt gripping Blaine's hand till his knuckles were pale white.

"I haven't been in a church since the day of her funeral. I would hear my dad praying in his room at night, but that didn't last long and he never really thought it was important to bring me to Sunday masses. I'm not mad he didn't take me, I don't really care, but being away from it so long just makes me uncomfortable."

He noted that this church used less incense than the one he went to had. He couldn't believe he remembered that, given the last time he went to church was when he was 8 years old.

The doors opened to a couple dozen sets of pews leading up to an open and ornate altar, and to Kurt's relief, not a congregation surrounding a casket with his mother's name inscribed delicately on the side.

Kurt kept himself far away from the bowls of holy water and sighed in relief when Blaine resisted to touch the plague-infested waters as well.

"There's no one here," Kurt noted, voice echoing gently. His hand burned in Blaine's, like at any moment, God, if there was one, would strike them down for their impure affection.

"It's a Tuesday, there's not usually many people here now. Excuse me. Just give me a minute." Blaine slipped his hand away and made his way to the side of the pews, knelt and gave the sign of the cross, then slid into a front pew and knelt again, head bowed and hands clasped.

Kurt stood awkwardly to the side. He slowly walked around the auditorium, careful not to let his heels click in fear of breaking the intense quiet. Though not religious, he still frowned upon the swears and names carved into the sticky wood of the pews. A few stained glass windows opened to circular cracks from sports equipment or other vandalism that Kurt was familiar with.

A board was set up with the names of all the attendants and contributors to the church, but Kurt could not find even one "Anderson."

Kurt checked his phone. Blaine had been praying for 8 minutes. How long did that usually take? Should he have brought a book?

Kurt resigned and made his way back to Blaine, ears ringing from the lack of sound. He scooted next to Blaine and copied his pose.
"What are you praying about?" Kurt whispered, quieter than the fabled church mouse.

A few seconds, then Blaine answered, "I'm asking Him for guidance. And it's quite ironic and probably inappropriate that I'm asking him if I should be following my head or my heart when my heart would be considered blasphemous." Blaine smirked.

"Well you haven't been struck by lightning yet so I guess it can't be that bad," Kurt joked lightly, nudging Blaine with his shoulder, but only making himself closer to the boy.

A pulse went between them and suddenly the world disappeared around them. Kurt watched Blaine's eyes flash down to his lips and he wet them in anticipation only to catch his breath when they heard the door open.

Kurt edged away casually as an old woman slowly entered, cane clacking.

The blue eyed boy looked back up at the altar. The casket was still not there, but what did matter was that Blaine was there. And though highly inappropriate in the Roman Catholic venue that Blaine had brought them to, Kurt had finally allowed himself to think "I may be in love with Blaine Anderson."

They drove back to Blaine's house in a comfortable silence save for a few moments of small talk.

"Why isn't your last name on that list of contributors?"

"Because technically I belong to another church, but I hate it. There's nothing comforting about it, no soul. Just polished wood, high tech audio equipment, and a priest that changes from every week. It's all about money and my parents never go. They just contribute money so that they look good like all the other snobs that 'belong' to that other church. The church I took you to is the one my grandfather would secretly go to even though the rest of my family felt it was too common. I feel comforted there."

Kurt's stomach twisted. Though nothing bad happened there, the last word he would use for any place of worship would be "comforting."

Kurt parked near the garage. "So did God tell you what you need to know?"

Blaine stared at Kurt. "I can't say if it was God that helped me, but I did figure out what I want...and I want you, Kurt. I always thought a numbness to life was the norm, but since our first kiss, though unconventional, I feel like I'm living rather than existing. You move me, Kurt. And I think maybe this little trip was just an excuse to spend more time with you."

And then they kissed.

No tongue, just a quick nip at Blaine's bottom lip, but the steaminess ended there. Their hands entwined again.

"Do you choose me, Kurt?"

"Yes," he answered without any hesitation.

Their lips met again, more forceful this time, hearts hammering as their chests met in the cramped area of the car.

"Come inside," Blaine breathed, voice adopting a husky tone.

"Are you sure?" Kurt did not wait for an answer and kissed him again, slipping his tongue quickly into the other boy's mouth who held it in his own lips before releasing it.

"I've never been so sure in my life, Kurt. God I just want to keep saying your name. Kurt. Kurt. My Kurt."

Kurt flashed his hand down to his own crotch to quickly move his half-hard dick into a more comfortable position as it gained interest after each chant of his name.

They unbuckled, then jumped out of the car only to rejoin with their arms awkwardly around each other as they tripped over themselves on their way to the front door.

Blaine almost kissed Kurt again, damning any nosy neighbors, damning anyone that would deny their love, damning the ideals and expectations he was taught to obey, but then they both heard the sound of a woman's voice from behind the door saying, "Yeah I think he's home now. I'll call you back later. Love you, Tina."

Their blood ran cold and they involuntarily jumped away from each other, the pain of the action and the apology written on both their faces.

Blaine opened the door and there was Rachel, sitting daintily on the couch, knees crossed. "Hello Blaine... And Kurt. Hope you don't mind, I used the key you gave me after our 6 month anniversary all that time ago. I'm sorry about the fight..."

Just want to say, the Gift of Life Foundation is actually located in Florida and really only accepts children born in the Florida state, but this foundation is very near and dear to me and I wanted to use it in this story.

I know no one cares, but my aunt tried for 11 years to get pregnant and unfortunately was never able to carry a child to full term. She and her husband finally decided on adoption where they found this foundation and a woman who had picked their Family Book. The first woman ended up keeping the child about 2 weeks before my aunt and uncle were supposed to fly out to Florida for the baby's birth, but about 6 months later they were picked again by a wonderful woman who honestly just can't afford to have any more kids in addition to the 4 she already has with her husband.

We now have a wonderful little boy who is the absolute light of my life despite only being my cousin (more like little brother) and then 2 years later, his sister who we also adopted from the same family after the birth mother had become pregnant again unexpectedly.

We thank her everyday even though my aunt has never had a chance to meet her, and are just so thankful that she was strong enough to want to give her child a better life than she would be able to provide for him.

I'm not going to say I'm pro life or pro choice or anything, I'm just very pro adoption because there are so many good couples out there who will do anything for a child of their own.