Things were getting progressively stranger at the castle. Uncle Aro and my father disappeared at regular intervals, leaving only Uncle Marcus behind. He seemed even more detached than usual; I often found him frozen on his throne, just staring into space. My stepmother had finally shown her face, though she appeared angrier than normal and spoke no more to my father than she did to me. Demetri seemed to be suffering from mood swings; one moment he was flirting and teasing, the next moment he would be quiet and distant. We had shared a few stolen kisses around the castle, but I could tell something wasn't right. Worst of all was Felix; after he had come back the next day, like he'd promised, he avoided me even more than before. I was used to it from Demetri, but not from Felix. It bothered me more than I cared to admit.

My uncle had been absolutely delighted when I told him about the masquerade ball I was planning to attend and approved of my choice of escort. I hadn't told him that Jonathan was just a friend and would never be anything more than that; I didn't want to betray Jonathan's trust in me. Demetri took the news lightly, like I thought he would. I was getting used to his lighthearted attitude towards whatever we shared, but it still hurt me. Felix didn't react at all to my apparent courtship with Jonathan, and again I wondered what was going on inside his head. It intrigued me so much that one evening, two weeks after everybody's return, I couldn't help but bring it up. I had just eaten my dinner while he sat with me, something that had become a custom now; there was always someone with me from the moment I left my room. He escorted me back to my bedroom in silence and as soon as we reached my door, he turned around to leave.

"Felix, will you please keep me company for a while?" I felt almost nervous; not sure whether or not he would accept. He contemplated his answer for a while before opening the door and ushering me through. I sat down on my bed and patted the space next to me, motioning him to join me. The bed groaned a little under his weight as he sat down beside me. I waited for him to say something, but he remained silent, all the while looking down at his hands. His expression was downright miserable. Eventually I moved over and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him to me. He sighed and leaned into me. Minutes went by as we sat like that, enjoying the embrace, before he pulled away and looked me in the eye for the first time in a while.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy."

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for." It struck me as strange that he would apologize to me. He sighed again and averted his eyes, but this time I wouldn't let him. I slid myself onto his lap, with my knees on either side of him and tilted his head to make him look at me.

"Felix, please, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

His expression was pained as he looked back at me, and an uneasy feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. Whatever was bothering him, I wanted to make it go away so badly. I leaned in to kiss his lips, but was shocked when he pulled back and pushed me off his lap.

"We can't do this anymore," he whispered. I inhaled sharply as his rejection hit me straight in the gut.

"Why? Is it…is it because of Demetri?"

He looked at me, hurt evident in his eyes.

"I will not deny that I wish the situation was different. I know I would have been better for you, Lucy."

"Would have been…" I repeated as his words sunk in. He grabbed my hands in his and gently stroked them with his thumbs.

"Something has come up. Something that makes me unable to continue this…whatever this is," he gestured between us.

"Why?" I nearly choked on the word as my throat constricted. I was fighting fruitlessly against the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes. He raised his hand and gently cupped my cheek.

"I can't tell you that, not now, but please trust me when I say that this was not my choice. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Tears ran down my cheeks as I realized only now how much I wanted Felix, only to have him taken away.

"Please…" I begged, reaching my hand out to his face. He grabbed me by the waist and lifted me back on his lap where I collapsed against him, crying hot tears against the cool skin of his neck. He hugged me tightly while rubbing my back, trying to soothe me, but it didn't work. Eventually he pulled me back and cupped my face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry; you have no idea," he whispered. He pulled me to him and softly kissed my lips, and I kissed him back passionately. After what seemed like an eternity, he broke the kiss and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Felix," I whispered as I stroked his hair, "Stay with me tonight? Just one more night, please?" He lifted his head and stared at me intently for a long time.

"One more night," he eventually agreed, and he hugged me close again. We sat like that for a long time, until I realized I should let Jonathan know not to pick me up tonight. Trying my best not to break the contact with Felix, I dug my phone from my pocket and sent him a quick text.

Sorry. Can't make it tonight. Nothing to worry about; please enjoy yourself. CU tomorrow. xoxo

Almost immediately he texted back: We'll miss you. X

I tossed my phone onto the nightstand and turned my attention back to the man in my arms. He was looking at my phone; a little crease formed between his brows. When I reached down and kissed it, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, wrapping his arms even tighter around me. I continued to stroke his hair, marveling at how thick and soft it was. He smelled so wonderful: manly and powerful; it reminded me of cinnamon somehow. I inhaled deeply to try and savor it; if this truly was the last time we could be together like this, I wanted to remember every single detail.

The touch of his hands had changed from gentle and soothing to passionate and almost desperate. My hands followed his lead and started roaming down his back, where I tried to pull him even closer to me. I shifted in his lap so that my groin was now aligned with his, and I could feel he wanted me every bit as much as I wanted him. His mouth was on my throat, where he sucked gently on the sensitive skin, and I leaned my head back to give him better access. Slowly I started moving my hips, trying to create some friction between us, and was rewarded with a lustful moan that vibrated against my skin. My desire spiked, and I craved to feel him naked against me; the need for it was so strong that my skin actually ached. Trying to remain as close to him as possible, I attempted to take my shirt off but got frustrated when the garment didn't cooperate. Eventually Felix broke our embrace and lifted the shirt swiftly over my head, quickly followed by his own. I reached my hands behind me and unhooked my bra, ripping it off so carelessly that I heard the lace tear.

Felix gently lifted us up and turned around to lay me down on the bed. I pulled him down with me, trying to retain the contact. He moved us up until my head was resting on my pillow, where he brushed my hair out of my face until it fanned out around me. I put my hands on his cheeks and looked in his eyes, trying to commit them to my memory. The red was beautiful; like the most precious rubies, with a little fleck of the brown they must have been in his previous life. They stared closely into mine, and I knew we were trying to do the same thing. Finally he came down and kissed me; first my forehead, then my cheeks and at long last, my lips. They were tender kisses; soft and light, like butterfly wings tickling my skin. I welcomed the lovingness of them, where before I had shied away from it. I realized, too late, that I should have appreciated it more.

His lips trailed further down; from my collarbone to my breasts, where they lingered ever so slightly, then on to my stomach until he reached my hips. He undid the buttons and pulled my jeans down, taking my panties with them, and then rid himself of his own trousers so that we were both naked. I stared at him; entranced by his movements. I could see each muscle flex underneath his pale skin, and when he reached out to me, I noticed for the first time how long and elegant his fingers were. I reached out and grabbed his hand, lifted it to my face and kissed each fingertip before pressing it to my cheek and snuggling into it. His thumb stroked my cheek as he came to lay over me, resting his body on his elbow. I lifted one leg and wrapped it around his, my foot sliding up and down, caressing him. He rested his forehead against mine and sighed deeply.

"Is there really no way? I will give up Demetri, I promise."

I had to try just one last time; I didn't want to let him go. It was shocking, even to me, how easy it was to make that promise. I would have done it, for Felix. The truth had sunk in at last; I didn't love Demetri, I was addicted to him. The harder he pushed me away, the more I wanted him. Felix had wanted me from the start. He was the good man; the one that made me feel beautiful and wanted. He accepted me as I was, even though I had hurt him over and over again. There would have never been a future for me and Demetri, but I could have been happy with Felix. I wanted a chance to prove that to him, but one look at his face told me that I would never get that opportunity. He squeezed his eyes shut, almost as if he was trying to push back impossible tears, and my own eyes started stinging dangerously again.

"No, Lucy, it's impossible. I'm so sorry." His voice was thick with emotion as he bent down and kissed the tears that had started to come down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry too," I sobbed quietly. I wanted to apologize for so many things, but I couldn't get it out. He just shook his head at me, silently telling me he forgave me. I smiled weakly, letting him know he had nothing to be sorry for either. It just wasn't meant to be.

When his lips touched mine, I could taste the salt from my tears, mixed in with his delicious essence; somehow it enhanced the flavour and made it even more intoxicating. Desire overruled the sadness as his kisses slowly became more forceful, and I lifted up my hips to meet his. He pushed my legs apart with his knee, placing himself at my entrance. I quivered in anticipation of what was coming; I wanted him so badly, the need was overwhelming. When he finally pushed himself inside of me, I was almost delirious with happiness but also heartbroken with the knowledge this would be the last time. I didn't want to know the reason behind it; it scared me more than anything to think about what could cause this change in Felix. I just committed myself to enjoying every last second. Every lingering touch, every breathy sigh, every whispered word; I wanted to remember it all. His hand stroked every part of my body, and my hands did the same as we moved in unison, our lips never breaking contact. It seemed to last forever, but forever was not long enough, and eventually we both found our release. My arms were wrapped tight around his neck, and I knew that if he'd needed oxygen, I would have been suffocating him, but as it was, he just held me with equal force. It was almost painful to me, but I relished it; I welcomed it. I don't remember how long we embraced like that, but however long it was, it was still too short. When he finally pulled away from me, I was crying again.

"Felix, don't…don't leave…please…"

The look on his face was one of agony as he pushed himself off me and moved off the bed. I watched him gather his clothes while I sobbed continuously. When he was fully dressed, he sat down on the edge of the bed and bowed his head into his hands. I threw myself onto his back, holding onto him; not willing to let him go, no matter what the reason behind all of this was. My whole body shook as I begged him to stay with me, but he never responded; instead he just sat there, silent and unmoving. My body was so tired from all the emotions that I eventually collapsed against him, and the last thing I remembered was him laying me gently down on the bed, covering me with the sheets and whispering in my ear.

"Sleep now, Lucy."

The days dragged by though I was unaware of how much time was passing. The nights were once again spent in that little cabin by the lake. Jonathan knew something was wrong, but I refused to talk about it; it was just too complicated. I hadn't seen or spoken to Felix again, and in a way, I was thankful for that. Now that I finally understood my feelings for him, it would have been too difficult to face him without breaking down completely. I still had a hard time thinking about our last night without crying.

If Demetri knew what was going on, he certainly did his best to hide it. He tried to corner me a couple of times, and I let him, but my heart wasn't in it, and he could tell. After a few days, he just gave up, and I was quietly happy about that.

During the week leading up to the ball, my father and uncle were gone almost the entire time. It would have worried me, if I hadn't been too preoccupied with my own problems. Jane made sure I got a proper dress for the party, and I had to admit that she had done a great job. She had a beautiful, all-white dress made for me from the most wonderful fabrics. It had a sweetheart neckline and was made from the softest silk. It gathered just under the right side of my waist where it revealed a beautiful tulle skirt that flowed down 'til right above my ankles. Delicate flowers patterned the dress all over, giving it an almost-ethereal quality. As was custom at these sorts of events, I had a mask to go with the dress. It was also white, with soft feathers at each side. I had showed Jonathan pictures of the outfit, and he seemed very pleased with it.

The closer the date of the event came, the more nervous I got. I would be dealing with humans I'd never met before, and even though my friends would be with me, I was still afraid that somehow I wouldn't fit in. Apparently not all of the elite children were as nice as my friends. I was specifically warned about the girl that was hosting the ball. Her name was Ariana Oliviera, and her family was famous far and wide. People were coming from all over Europe for this ball; it really promised to be a night to remember, and despite my nerves and everything else that was going on, I was looking forward to it very much.

On the actual day of the ball, I spent most of my time with Jane, who was responsible for my look. My uncle had requested to see me before I left, so about half an hour before Jonathan was to pick me up, I made my way to the Royal room to show my face. My heart lurched when I noticed Felix at my uncle's side. He smiled sadly, and I had to fight back the tears that threatened to ruin my make up.

"Luciana, you look simply breathtaking."

Uncle Aro greeted me in the way he usually did these days: he cupped my face and kissed my cheeks. I was happy that so far I had been able to keep him at bay; the last thing I wanted was for him to know what had happened with Felix. He held me at arm's length and looked at me.

"You have truly become a beautiful woman. I hope your courtship with Jonathan works out. His family is very famous and wealthy; did you know this?"

I averted my eyes, unable to look at him while keeping up my pretence.

"Yes, Uncle Aro, he has told me all about his family." Basically, I wasn't lying, but what Jonathan had told me was not what my uncle would want to hear.

"You may leave now; I hope you have a wonderful time. Don't worry about your stuffy old family; we will be fine." He winked at me and, to my horror, motioned for Felix to escort me outside. We walked the entire way in awkward silence. When we finally reached the entrance, he stopped and turned to me.

"You look stunning, Princess."

He leaned in and kissed my cheek; the gesture made my heart race.

"Enjoy your evening," he said as he turned to walk away.

I watched him go until I couldn't see him anymore before I whispered quietly into the night, "Goodbye, Felix."

Thank you's:

Tazz0617 – Gimme a T- Gimme an A- Gimme a Z- Gimme another Z! Best cheerleader in the world!

SusanAshlea – who basically once again gets credit for the existence of this chapter. Also, she let me steal Felix' smell. His smell was taken from Finding Forever. If you're not reading, you should.

Jkane180 – My Beta. I love you. Hard.